[[quoteright:200:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/zoolander.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:200:Derek Zoolander: Really Really Really Ridiculously Good Looking[[TradeSnark ]] ]]
--> ''For the last decade, male modelling has been dominated by one name, and five syllables: Der! Ek! Zoo! Lan! DER!''

Derek Zoolander is a [[MemeticMutation really, really, ridiculously good-looking]] (but incredibly shallow and not too bright) male model who suffers both a professional and personal setback when he loses the Male Model of the Year crown to Hansel ("he's so hot right now") and his friends to a [[TooDumbToLive freak gasoline fight accident]]. His manager sends him to a week-long day spa, but it turns out to be a brainwashing center, where Derek becomes a sleeper agent programmed to assassinate the prime minister of Malaysia (an obstacle to the fashion industry's continued use of cheap Malaysian labor). It's up to Derek, his love interest Matilda, and his rival-turned-friend Hansel ([[RunningGag "he's so hot right now"]]) to foil this plot and help Derek live past thirty.

A sequel is in the works, but [[http://www.contactmusic.com/story/ben-stiller-zoolander-2-on-hold_4003641 Stiller put it on hold]] because he wanted to make the script "feel more current".
----
!!This film has examples of:

* AdamWesting: A number of real-life celebrities make cameo appearances in the film. The one who plays the most on his image is probably Fabio, who appears at the beginning of the film, accepting the "slashie" award for "best model slash actor" and "not the other way around". Fabio-esque male models are the main brunt on the film's satire.
* AnswerCut: When Mugatu is told in the opening scene that he needs to find someone dim enough to be brainwashed into the assassination plot:
-->'''Mugatu''': But who?! Where in all of God's green goodness am I gonna find someone that....BEEF-HEADED?!
-->*cut to Derek Zoolander photoshoot*
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: After giving Derek a long list of what he's supposed to do as an assassin, Mugatu adds: "Obey my dog!"
* Music/AlsoSprachZarathustra: Part of a ShoutOut to ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey''.
* BabiesEverAfter: The ending. Derek's son even adopts his first look: a pout reminiscent of his daddy's.
* BackhandedApology: The {{Jerkass}} version gets used twice.
* TheBaroness: Katinka.
* BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy: The fashion industry has been behind every major assassination for the past 200 years, using male models as assassins, including the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
* BerserkButton: "One look? ''ONE LOOK?!''"
* BigNo: Derek's reaction (actually a "Brint!") when he realizes his friends are about to [[ManOnFire get burned to death]] by a carelessly lit cigarette.
* BrainlessBeauty: Male models (although according to David Duchovny's character, hand models "work differently"). Also, Fabio is apparently too smart for the job that Mugatu brainwashed Derek to do.
* BrickJoke: "Derek, you did it!" "I know, I turned left!"
* BuffySpeak: The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.
* TheCameo: Lots, from the celebrities at the fashion show in the opening part of the film to Billy Zane's memetic role to David Bowie as the walkoff judge, and lots more where that came from. Also includes James Marsden in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it shot as John Wilkes Booth during the assassination exposition.
* CaptainOblivious: The runway competition.
* CastingGag: Creator/DavidDuchovny known from ''Series/TheXFiles'' as a former hand model and ConspiracyTheorist.
* CatapultNightmare: Derek wakes up from his brainwashing session by smashing his head into the top of his bunk bed, then rolling out onto the floor.
* CatchPhrase: Mugatu's variations on Hansel being "so hot right now."
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: [[RhymesOnADime Rhymes with "Derek Zoolander".]]
* ChekhovsGun: [[spoiler: Magnum, and Hansel's yoyo skills.]]
* CookingDuel: The runway walk-off.
* CompetenceZone: None of the male models lives past thirty (except the precious few who wise up and retire beforehand), something that TheOmniscientCouncilOfVagueness ruthlessly enforces.
* ConspiracyKitchenSink: According to J.P. Prewett, pretty much every assassination in history can be traced back to the international fashion industry.
--> '''Matilda:''' Wait a minute, Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a male model.
--> '''Prewett:''' You're goddamn right he wasn't, but those two lookers on the Grassy Knoll sure as shit were!
* CorruptCorporateExecutive: The fashion industry executives.
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: This exchange from the film's climax.
--> '''Matilda:''' Derek, you did it!
--> '''Derek:''' I know! I turned left!
--> '''Matilda:''' (beat) That too, but you also saved the Prime Minister of Malaysia!
--> '''Derek:''' Oh. Cool.
* CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass: Derek and Hansel may be male models and dumb as rocks as a result, but Derek's looks can stop flying shurikens in mid-air and Hansel is a skilled breakdance fighter.
* CymbalBangingMonkey: In a flashback, Derek is briefly shown dressed up as a CymbalBangingMonkey. "Dance, monkey, dance!"
* DanceBattler: "They're breakdance fighting!"
* DarkActionGirl: Katinka, who is also TheDragon.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment:
--> '''Hansel:''' "And I felt like this guy is really hurting me. And it hurt!"
--> '''Derek:''' Maybe you don't understand that the world doesn't revolve around you and your 'Do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?'
* DirtyOldMan: Maury Ballstein.
* DisneyAcidSequence: The drug-fueled orgy.
* FallingInLoveMontage: Parodied in the orgy scene, where Matilda begins by making out with Derek and Hansel, and then the partners get a little... weird.
* FashionShow: The finale takes place at one (as an assassination is supposed to take place there), and the film has a few others.
* FireForgedFriends: Derek and Hansel started as the worst of enemies but when things get ugly they become the best of friends.
* GeniusDitz: Derek (and most everyone associated with the fashion industry) is a complete moron, but when it comes to fashion, make-up and just improving one's physical appearance he is a genius.
* GlowingEyesOfDoom: Mugatu's toy poodle; during the brainwashing sequence, its eyes flash bright green.
* HiddenDepths: Derek can speak Malay.
* HistoricalRapSheet: Brainwashed male models set in motion by an evil council of fashion designers have had a hand in every major assassination attempt, beginning with Lincoln and on up through JFK. ItMakesSenseInContext. Kind of.
* IdiotBall: PlayedForLaughs of course. Seriously, Derek and Hansel in particular are dumber than a bag of hammers. Though Hansel seems to have a few more IQ points than Derek, he's still as much of a ditz because he is way more spaced-out than Derek.
* InformedAttractiveness: Ben Stiller as a model? Owen Wilson?! Chalk it up to RuleOfFunny.
* InsistentTerminology: Mer''man''!
* IntrepidReporter: Matilda, who has a [[FreudianExcuse special hatred]] for models.
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: Mugatu's new campaign, "Derelicte".
* JanitorImpersonationInfiltration: Hansel and Derek.
* {{Joisey}}: At one point, Derek goes to work with his family in the coal mines of South Jersey. [[FridgeLogic The real South Jersey is a coastal plain.]]
* KarmaHoudini: Maury Ballstein. At the end, he admits to having been in on the child labor conspiracy for almost all of his career. However, he does not seem to have been punished in any way.
** Presumably he would get immunity in exchange for his testimony.
* LampshadeHanging: see OnlySaneMan below.
* LaserGuidedTykebomb: Derek gets brainwashed into this.
* LoveEpiphany: Parodied.
-->'''Derek:''' There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarfs and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman."
* {{Malaproper}}: Derek, of course.
-->'''Derek:''' Or are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogolizer I am?\\
'''Matilda:''' A what?\\
'''Derek:''' A eugoogolizer... one who speaks at funerals. ''[after a confused look from Matilda]'' Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was?
* ManchurianAgent: Derek, after he gets brainwashed.
* TheManInTheMirrorTalksBack
* MissingMom: Derek's mom is dead.
* MusicalTrigger: "Relax" is what turns Derek into a killing machine.
* MyHovercraftIsFullOfEels: Derek's grasp of Malay leaves much to be desired.
** Given that he's "dumb as a stump," the fact that he [[GeniusDitz speaks Malay at all]] is pretty impressive.
* NiceGuy: Derek, in a subversion of the typical bitchy-superstar stereotype, is actually sweet-natured and generous.
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: Averted; all of the cameo actors play themselves.
** However, some suspect Derek is a parody of Creator/TomCruise.
* NotSoAboveItAll: Matilda is the OnlySaneMan in the main cast, until [[spoiler: she participates in an orgy.]] Even more so when she goes on a long description of her clothing while holding Katinka at gunpoint in retaliation for her insulting her fashion sense earlier.
* TheOmniscientCouncilOfVagueness: The round table [[ManBehindTheMan running the fashion industry]].
* TheOneThingIDontHateAboutYou: ''"It's that damned Hansel! He's so hot right now!"''
* OnlySaneMan: Part of Mugatu's MotiveRant. It is unusual that the ''villain'' is the OnlySaneMan.
--> "He only has ''one'' look! [...] Does ''nobody'' else notice? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"
** Matilda also plays this role for the protagonists.
* OnlySixFaces: All of Derek's so-called "looks" are [[strike:almost]] identical (however, his "Magnum" look stops a shuriken in mid-air. Even Mugatu is wowed: "Dear god, it's beautiful!").
** There is a difference between Magnum and all the rest: [[ChekhovsSkill he turns left]] before delivering it. Less [[BuffySpeak mindblowing-ly]], his head is also vertical, as opposed to the angle his other looks were at.
* OverlyLongGag: The participants during the orgy scene.
** In a deleted scene, Derek enters the club where Hansel is having an afterparty, passing something like six or seven groups of people just to throw a lame one-liner back at Hansel for an earlier insult. (Part of this scene ends up in the ImagineSpot when the hand model discusses why male models make the perfect assassins.)
* OutdatedOutfit: Mugatu's "Little Cletus" disguise is of what a child in the early 1900s would probably wear. Ironic, considering Mugatu should be keeping up with the latest fashions. Then again, he does seem to be the world's premiere fashion designer. If he can sell trash as fashion then he can get away with Little Cletus.
* APartyAlsoKnownAsAnOrgy
* PerfectlyCromulentWord: Derek is not an ambiturner. He can't turn left.
* PhraseCatcher: Hansel. "He's so hot right now." In particular from Mugatu.
* PunctuatedForEmphasis: When introducing Derek as a nominee for Model of the Year, the announcer guy enunciates each syllable separately (see page quote). Each syllable also comes from a different speaker. Derek silently counts along to make sure that his name is indeed five syllables.
* RefugeInAudacity: Mugatu's new line that does a high fashion spin on what homeless people wear. Amusingly, it has been done for real by John Galliano and Vivienne Westwood, but the style was intended to be shocking.
* RightHandCat: Mugatu's right-hand poodle, which looks almost as ridiculous as he does.
* RunningGag: Every time someone mentions Hansel, Mugatu immediately adds some variation of "He's so hot right now."
* ScaleModelDestruction: Mugatu shows off a model of a school he's planning to build in Derek Zoolander's honor. Derek gets ticked and destroys it, because he doesn't understand the concept of a model.
-->'''Derek Zoolander:''' What is this, a center for ''ants''? How can the children learn anything if they can't fit in the building?!.
* SeriousBusiness: The fashion industry.
* ShaggyDogStory
-->'''Hansel:''' So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. I mean, I'm about to ''die.'' Just falling, "Ahhh! Ahhh!" I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I remember, "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your mind?"
-->'''Derek:''' ...and?
-->'''Hansel:''' ...it was. I was totally fine. I've never even ''been'' to Mount Vesuvius.
* SheCleansUpNicely: Matilda, again.
* ShoutOut: [[MichaelJackson "Beat It"]] plays over the walk-off between Derek and Hansel; Derek's brainwashing sequence channels ''Film/AClockworkOrange''; Derek and Hansel imitate the "Dawn of Man" sequence in ''/Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey'', complete with the soundtrack playing ''Music/AlsoSprachZarathustra''; The confrontation between Derek and his manager before he walks for Mugatu refers to ''Film/TheGodfather Part II''.
** Jon Voight seems to have based his performance as Derek's father on ChristopherWalken.
* SoundtrackDissonance: A minor case when Derek and his roommates try to forget their troubles, as "Wake Me up before You Go-Go" plays (it contains a reference to a yo-yo, which is rival Hansel's thing).
* SpitTake: Hilariously overdone by Mugatu.
--> "Todd! Were you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?!"
* ThisIsWhatTheBuildingWillLookLike: Even if they can't fit inside the building.
* ThisLooksLikeAJobForAquaman: Only a male model has the skills to make a perfect assassin, and only Derek's "Magnum" look (or is it "Blue Steel"?) can stop them!
* TooDumbToLive: The freak gasoline fight accident scene. Derek himself was lucky enough to avoid the explosion.
* TooKinkyToTorture: Katinka only looks excited when pistol-whipped by Matilda.
* TrainingMontage: Derek's training to be an assassin.
* VillainousBreakdown: Mugatu gets a pretty spectacular one at the end, during which he ends up [[LampshadeHanging pointing out that]] [[OnlySaneMan contrary to what everyone thinks, Derek's repertoire is somewhat limited]]:
-->"Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigre? They're the ''same face!'' Doesn't anyone notice this?! ''[[OnlySaneMan I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!]]'' I invented the ''piano key necktie!'' I invented it! What have you done, Derek?! Nothing! ''You've got '''nothing! NOTHING!'''''"
* WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway? "Magnum."
* WeaksauceWeakness: Derek can't turn left (until the climax).
* WellDoneSonGuy: Derek temporarily retires from modeling and tries to join his dad and brother in the mining field. It doesn't go over well.
** When Zoolander reveals Magnum, however (Derek's father is watching the fashion show at bar), his dad is genuinely amazed and announces to the whole bar 'That's my son!'
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: What happened to the shadowy evil council who have been killing world leaders for decades?
** Nothing. Mugatu takes the fall while they get to be KarmaHoudini.
* WhoShotJFK: According to the hand model, it's two male models on the grassy knoll.
* WholePlotReference: The whole movie is clearly inspired by ''TheManchurianCandidate''.
* WorldOfHam
----