[[caption-width-right:300:[[CoversAlwaysLie A beast who looks not even close to this badass.]]]]

->''"Your movie this week is'' Track of the Moon Beast''. It stars nobody and features nothing. I hope you gag on it."''
-->--[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 Pearl Forrester]]

'''''Track of the Moon Beast''''' is yet another transformation movie where radiation from a meteorite strike causes a professor to be turned into a murderous monster. This time the bland, uninteresting scientist is some guy named Paul; beyond that, no one knows anything about him, including the screenwriter. There's also a bland, uninteresting LoveInterest dressed in terrycloth named Kathy. Their bland, uninteresting romance is hampered by Paul's refusal to just stop transmogrifying into a killer lizard, meaning the intrepid, stew-making shaman Johnny Longbow has to step in and move the plot along.

Can Paul be cured? Can Longbone save the day? Do we really care? No, yes, and no, respectively, but don't miss a special performance from The Band That Played California Lady -featuring the talents of The Fish-Lipped Guy, The Eskimo and The Friendly-Looking Backup Singer- playing their #-1 hit "California Lady." Or do; whatever's cool.

For the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' version, please go to the [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S10E07TrackOfTheMoonBeast episode recap page]].

!!Tropes present in this film:
* ArtisticLicenseBiology: The picture of the T. Rex in the biologist's office wouldn't convince a 4-year-old.
* ArtisticLicenseNuclearPhysics: Everything surrounding the "explanation" of the radiation from the meteor, mixed in with some ArtisticLicenseAstronomy.
* BasementDweller: Paul lives with his mother at age 24, and Kathy feels he's a very lonely man, his clear friendship with Johnny Longbow notwithstanding.
* [[BetterToDieThanBeKilled Better To Die Than To Be A Bipedal Lizardman]]
* BigNo: Kathy shrieks it when she realizes Paul's fate is inevitable.
* DontExplainTheJoke: After Longbow and his students play a prank on Paul at the movie's start, Kathy goes on to explain the prank and how they came up with it in '''excruciating''' detail. She even starts describing his ''reaction to the prank''. ''Inaccurately''.
* DullSurprise: "Moon rock? Oh, wow." See also: every other line Kathy says.
** Also, the "prank." Drawn out into the open and brought down by multiple packs of hound/dingo crossbreeds with baseball bats by the long, convoluted and ''completely unnecessary'' apology because of his "reaction."
* DumbBlonde: Kathy, in spades. This was probably not what they were going for at all.
* DyingAsYourself: When he finds out that he not only turns into a murderous lizard man, but he's going to burn up and die in due time anyway, Paul tries to find several ways to kill himself. He fails each time and ultimately dies as a murderous lizard man.
* FailedASpotCheck: A pair of cops obligingly just keep staring in the exact opposite direction from where Paul is sneaking up on them.
* FanDisservice: A good look at the drunken bowler's asscheeks.
* {{Fanservice}}: Say what you want about Paul, but he's got a great body. He spends [[ShirtlessScene 1/3 of his screentime topless]].
* FashionDissonance: Everything Kathy wears.
* FromNobodyToNightmare: Paul would presumably have become one if not stopped in time. He comes across as [[FlatCharacter more of a nobody than was probably intended]].
* ILoveNuclearPower: And radioactive meteorites.
* ImagineSpot: Paul has a fantasy of getting into the mountain lift and jumping out of it while it's in the air.
* LargeHam: Johnny is maybe slightly softer-spoken than your average ham, but he still has his occasional moments of ChewingTheScenery.
* {{Leitmotif}}: The stereotypical theme for Johnny Longbow.
* LizardFolk: Johnny becomes one.
* MadeOfIron: Paul jumps off a ski lift, plummets several stories, falls on rocky ground, and inexplicably comes out no worse for wear.
** Averted. It was an ImagineSpot with him considering doing so.
* MagicalNativeAmerican: Johnny Longbow.
* MundaneMadeAwesome: The prank and Johnny Longbow's stew, made with corn, chicken, green peppers, chilis, *sigh* onions...[[note]][[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 Hair... rattlesnake... Velveeta...]][[/note]]
** Fans who've tried Johnny's recipe report back that it's really quite delicious. The [[spoiler:hair, rattlesnake & Velveeta]] are best left out, but can be added to your tastes.
* NotableOriginalMusic: "California Lady"
* OurWerebeastsAreDifferent: Were-lizardman!
* TheSeventies: Make it stop.
* SexEqualsLove
-->'''Paul''': Do it because we love each other...
* ShootTheDog
* ShoutOut: The drunken bowler's murder on his own doorstep is a homage to ''Film/TheLeopardMan''.
[[TheStinger "Moon rock? Oh, wow."]]