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[[caption-width-right:350: A little late to call [[Franchise/GhostBusters the boys in gray]] now.]]

''[=Thir13en=] Ghosts'' is the 2001 [[TheRemake remake]] of the 1960 film ''Film/ThirteenGhosts'', directed by Steve Beck and starring Creator/TonyShalhoub, Creator/EmbethDavidtz, Creator/MatthewLillard, Creator/ShannonElizabeth, and Creator/FMurrayAbraham.

Arthur Kriticos (Shalhoub) finds himself as a heir to a elaborate glass mansion after his uncle Cyrus dies. The mansion turns out to be harboring a sinister purpose, as the in-house machinery starts moving the glass walls that are inhabited by the eponymous ghosts, held in check by Latin phrases etched in the panels.

!!This remake contains the examples of:

* AccidentalHero: [[spoiler: Maggie breaks the machine by playing DJ with its control panel, which looks a lot like a sound-mixing board.]]
* ActOfTrueLove: The only way to shut down the Ocularis Infernum is through an act of self-sacrifice (which would create a ghost made from TrueLove, which would act as the shut-down). Arthur is quite willing to make that sacrifice [[PapaWolf when his kids are taken by the ghosts]]. [[spoiler:[[BatmanGambit Which is what Cyrus wants, actually. That's why he put the kids in peril, after all]]...]]
* AllThereInTheManual: The DVD extras gives the background of each of the ghosts and how they fit into the Black Zodiac.
* AndIMustScream: Ghost #2, the Torso, who is a naked man chopped into three pieces (torso, head, and legs) and wrapped in plastic. Extra information shows this is how he died.
* ArtifactOfDoom: The "Ocularis Infernum" ("Eye Of Hell"), an ancient device that is empowered by the "Black Zodiac" and would give the person who controls it the capacity to be virtually omniscient.
* AssholeVictim: [[spoiler:Ben Moss. The lawyer who liked to taunt the ghosts.]]
* AxCrazy: The Jackal, who died in an insane asylum.
* AnAxeToGrind: The Great Child carries an axe.
* BaldOfEvil: Both The Hammer and the Great Child sport this.
* BatterUp: The Torn Prince carries a baseball bat.
* BeardOfEvil: [[spoiler: Cyrus]] wears a pretty classy one.
* BigDamnHeroes: When The Jackal is attacking Kathy, [[spoiler: Kalina]] arrives to help.
* BigFancyHouse: Cyrus' house, a mansion that is loaded with expensive memorabilia, and completely made of transparent walls. Even without the ghosts out to kill them, the rest of the family makes a complaint about the latter ("I hope the bathroom's in the basement").
* BlackEyesOfEvil: The Angry Princess' eyes.
* BlessedWithSuck: Dennis Rafkin is a medium with the ability to detect ghosts and and instantly read minds through physical contact. He also has no control whatsoever over his powers and they tend to give him seizures.
-->'''Dennis:''' I come within ten feet of anything dead, I go into seizures! I touch somebody, and a whole life full of shit just flashes in front of my eyes!
* BloodFromTheMouth: Various characters show this when dying, including Cyrus at the beginning.
* BloodlessCarnage: You would have thought a person being cut to pieces would cover those directly below in blood.
%%* BrattyHalfPint: Bobby.
* BriefcaseFullOfMoney: Ben Moss finds one waiting for him as Cyrus' payment for his services as executor of his estate. [[spoiler: Picking it up triggers a mechanism that begins to release the ghosts and very quickly leads to his death.]]
* TheBrute: The Juggernaut. He stands at seven feet tall and is so strong that, in life, he could tear people apart with his ''bare hands''.
* BulletTime: Brief slow motion effects are shown randomly in the early parts of the movie.
* CassandraTruth: Arthur has hard time believing Dennis' warnings about the ghosts at first.
%%* ChainedByFashion: The Hammer.
* ChairmanOfTheBrawl: Arthur attempts to break the glass surrounding the house with a chair.
* ChildByRape: How The Dire Mother got her child.
* CleanCut: "Did [[spoiler: the lawyer]] split?"
* ClosedCircle: Once the entire house goes into lockdown, there is no way of leaving. The location also has no cell phone reception.
* ClothingDamage: When Kathy's attacked by the Jackal, her clothes are torn to shreds. This becomes FridgeHorror if one learns of [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil the Jackal's backstory]]...
* CouldntFindAPen: The Angry Princess' suicide note, which is "I'm sorry" written in blood on the bathroom floor.
* CreepyBasement: It's literally filled with ghosts!
* CreepyChild: Ghost #1, the First-born Son, who is dressed as a cowboy with an arrow through his head and carries a tomahawk around. Played oddly with the Great Child, who isn't an actual child, but is a huge, 40-year-old man in a diaper holding an ax.
* CruelAndUnusualDeath: A good number of the ghosts died in downright horrible circumstances. Also, [[spoiler:Ben Moss and Kalina both meet very grisly fates.]]
* CurbStompBattle: [[spoiler: [[HeroicSacrifice Dennis vs. the Hammer and the Juggernaut.]] Guess who wins?]]
* DeadAllAlong: Inverted. [[spoiler: Cyrus is alive the whole time.]]
* DecompositeCharacter: In the 1960 film, the character Elaine was a medium, the dead uncle's female assistant, and the housekeeper. This version has the 3 separate characters of a (male) medium, the uncle's female assistant, and the housekeeper.
* DrivenToSuicide: How The Angry Princess died.
* DropTheHammer: The Hammer has this as his weapon of choice. Obviously.
* EarnYourHappyEnding: [[spoiler:The film ends with Cyrus being violently punished, the ghosts being released, and with all the members of the Kriticos family and Maggie alive, and even the ghost of Jean seems to have found peace at the end. Likewise, Dennis finally found peace after his HeroicSacrifice against the Hammer and the Juggernaut.]]
* EvenEvilHasStandards:
** [[spoiler: Kalina may be in on the whole thing, but she is horrified when Cyrus suggests putting Arthur's kids in danger.]]
** In the Jackal's backstory, he realized how despicable his actions were and had himself committed to an asylum but eventually went insane just as rehabilitation proved impossible for his already messed up mentality. When the fire that claimed his life broke out. He refused help and decided it was better to simply die.
** The Bound Woman as well, though she doesn't appear as often as The Jackal does. [[spoiler: This is particularly evident after the ghosts kill Cyrus.]]
* EverythingsBetterWithSpinning: The central part of the "Ocularis Infernum" is a set of massive concentric razor-sharp rings that spin around like a gyroscope.
* EvilLaugh / LaughingMad: The Jackal's presence is accompanied by the sound of mad laughter.
* EyeScream: The Angry Princess committed suicide after an attempt at performing self-cosmetic surgery went horribly wrong and left her blinded in one eye.
* FaintingSeer: Dennis Rafkin's visions are in [[ScreamerTrailer Screamer]] form, so it's no wonder even the mildest of them leave him grabbing his head in pain.
* FakingTheDead: [[spoiler:Cyrus Kriticos does this to attract his nephew's family into his house.]]
* FanDisservice: The Angry Princess is completely naked, though covered in deep, self-inflicted slashes -- [[BreastAttack including one right through a nipple]].
* FictionalZodiac: The Black Zodiac, which corresponds to the thirteen ghosts needed to activate Basileus's Machine and open the Ocularis Infernum.
* FlippingTheBird: Dennis, to the Hammer.
* FoldSpindleMutilation: The Juggernaut pulls one of the capture-team in the junkyard into the engine compartment of a wreck, breaking the hapless man's spine.
* FriendlyGhost: [[spoiler:Jean]]. Averted for the rest, but they were specifically chosen for their violent lives and deaths...[[spoiler: and even they wander away and leave Arthur and his family alone once they've dealt with Cyrus and they're freed from the house]]. Dennis tells us that this trope is actually the norm: "Most ghosts can't hurt us. Some don't even ''want'' to hurt us."
%%* FullFrontalAssault: The Angry Princess.
* GhostlyGoals: Largely of the general vindictiveness type, but many of them are in the house specifically because they are trapped there.
* GoOutWithASmile: In a sense. [[spoiler:Dennis doesn't actually die smiling, but, when he later appears as a ghost, he seems a lot more content and at peace then when he was alive. This is because he no longer had to suffer the constant barrage of horrifying and grotesque imagery his psychic powers gave him.]]
* GogglesDoSomethingUnusual: The main characters wear special glasses to see the ghosts, in a ShoutOut to the Illusion-O gimmick of the original.
* {{Gorn}}: Mostly avoided, although the death of [[spoiler:Moss]] is a very effective and shocking example. [[WordOfGod According to the director's commentary]], the creators were surprised they managed to get away with it without using any [[GoryDiscretionShot discretion shots]].
* GottaCatchEmAll: Cyrus Kriticos must find thirteen specifically-themed spirits to [[spoiler:power his infernal machine. His nephew Arthur would have been the thirteenth ghost, if he'd killed himself as Cyrus planned]].
* TheGrotesque: The Great Child and The Dire Mother, who were circus freaks while they lived.
* HalfTheManHeUsedToBe: [[spoiler:Ben Moss]] finds himself backing away from the Angry Princess until - CHOMP - he gets vertically bisected by a glass door slamming shut. We get a nice view of his frontally-sectioned head and chest when one half falls away. Leading to an awesomely funny line: "Did [[spoiler:the lawyer]] split?"
* HatesBeingTouched: Dennis, and [[PsychicPowers for a good reason]]. And according to the ghost backstories, The Jackal hates it as well [[spoiler:after his stay in a mental hospital and might be the reason he died when the place went up in flames.]]
%%* HauntedHeadquarters: Inverted.
* HauntedHouse: Invoked: [[spoiler:Cyrus Kriticos builds the glass house as an infernal engine, and then deliberately moves specific ghosts into it as a power source.]]
* HeroicSacrifice:
** [[spoiler: Dennis fights the Hammer and the Juggernaut alone because there's only enough room in the corner behind the shield for one, so he throws Arthur behind it because he has a family to rescue.]]
** Subverted with [[spoiler:Arthur, who's led to believe that he has to perform one to save his family. At the last moment, he realizes it's a BatmanGambit by Cyrus and his death would actually fulfill his uncle's plans]].
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: [[spoiler: Cyrus is thrown into the spinning rings by most of the ghosts and chopped to pieces.]]
* HollywoodHypeMachine: Shannon Elizabeth's appearance here owed much to the fame she earned by being in ''Film/AmericanPie''.
* HowWeGotHere: The opening to the movie is a panoramic montage of the old house of Arthur's family mingled with voice overs describing their lives and Jean's death before the movie begins. This scene in particular met with critical praise.
* HumanSacrifice: [[spoiler:The last ghost will manifest itself this way]].
* IShallTauntYou: Dennis taunts one of the ghosts in anger after one scare too many.
* ImpendingDoomPOV: Various takes show the ghosts' view, approaching someone.
* InfantImmortality: Played straight with Bobby, averted with the First Born Son.
* JacobMarleyApparel: The 13 ghosts imprisoned in the mansion have various individual items relating to their former lives or circumstances surrounding their deaths.
** The Torn Prince still has his baseball bat and car in his cell
** The Angry Princess wields a knife she presumably cut herself with.
* JumpScare: Lampshaded.
--> '''Dennis''': Oh, God! I hate it when they do that!
--> '''Maggie''': Do what?
--> '''Dennis''': They wait for your to stick your FACE right up against the glass! And then give you a big, fat "boo"!
* KarmicDeath:
** [[spoiler:Cyrus Kriticos, who gets killed by the ghosts he captured and tried to exploit.]]
** [[spoiler:Kalina, who taunted Dennis for not realizing he was being used by Cyrus - except she was being used by him too.]]
** [[spoiler:Ben Moss is in on the whole thing and taunts the Angry Princess when he sees her inside her containment cube, and is later killed when he is bisected by glass doors while backing away from said ghost.]]
* KickTheDog: Cyrus does this at the beginning, when he slaps Dennis' medication out of his hand for no discernible reason. [[spoiler: He also does a more extreme form of dog-kicking later, when he has Kalina squished to death between two panels of glass.]]
* KnifeNut: The Angry Princess wields the knife she used to kill herself.
* LargeHam:
** Matthew Lillard, of course.
** [[spoiler:Cyrus (played by F. Murray Abraham)]] absolutely [[ChewingTheScenery devours the scenery]] whenever he's on-screen.
* LetsSplitUpGang: Enforced by the house changing configurations repeatedly, separating everybody.
* Letters2Numbers: As you can see, letters "t" and the first "e" in "Thirteen" have been have replaced by numbers 1 and 3 in the film's name.
* LockDown: How Cyrus' house becomes a ClosedCircle.
* LosingYourHead: The Torso, a ghost that wanders without a head (or legs).
* MadBomber: Kalina.
--> "Well, the other option is I have enough explosives to blow us back to the middle ages, of course none of us would be around to brag about it afterward."
* {{Malaproper}}: Bobby makes a few of those.
* ManChild: The Great Child. His mother spoiled him throughout his life, to the point that he always wore diapers and had to be spoon-fed even as he grew to adulthood and attained enormous size.
* TheMole: [[spoiler:Kalina.]]
* [[MrExposition Mrs Exposition]]: While taking shelter in Cyrus' office, Kalina explains the purpose of the house and the Black Zodiac, complete with TitleDrop.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: All of the ghosts' titles.
* NeckSnap: How the Bound Woman died.
* OhCrap: Dennis' reaction when he learns that the Jackal is loose.
-->'''Dennis:''' Oh boy...\\
'''Maggie:''' What?\\
'''Dennis:''' That’s the symbol of The Jackal.\\
'''Maggie:''' What’s “The Jackal”?\\
'''Dennis:''' The Jackal is the Charlie Manson of ghosts. And if The Jackal’s out, screw the kid! We gotta get out of this basement!
** And almost immediately after that, Kathy has a similar reaction when she puts on the glasses and sees The Jackal ''standing right in front of her''.
* ParentalAbandonment: The Juggernaut's backstory. He was abandoned at birth by his mother and his father died years later.
* PowerOfLove: [[spoiler:The thirteenth ghost's specialty]].
* PsychicPowers: Dennis. [[BlessedWithSuck He's understandably less-than-pleased with having them]].
* PsychopathicManchild: The Great Child, who went into a RoaringRampageOfRevenge when the other freaks played a cruel joke on his mother.
* PyrrhicVictory: [[spoiler:When the house is destroyed, all the ghosts are free again... especially the most dangerous ones]].
* TheRemake: Of the original ''Film/ThirteenGhosts''.
* RageQuit: The last words of the movie has Maggie declaring she quits as she escapes the house's ruins.
* RichBitch: The Bound Woman, when she was alive.
* RoaringRampageOfRevenge: The Hammer had one in life, when a gang, led by someone who falsely accused him of stealing, [[DisproportionateRetribution killed his wife and children]].
%%* SassyBlackWoman: Maggie.
* ScaryBlackMan: The Hammer, a ghost pierced by railroad spikes and whose weapon is a hammer grafted into his arm.
* ScreamerTrailer: Used in-universe as new ghosts are revealed or about to get up to their usual shenanigans.
* SeeThruSpecs: Both movies used special glasses to see the ghosts, but in the original the ''audience'' got them, while in the remake the ''characters'' got them.
* SerialKiller: The Juggernaut and the Jackal. The former because of his loneliness driving him insane, the other because of his sexual apetite.
* SharpDressedMan: Dennis wears an awesome suit throughout much of the movie.
* SlashedThroat: [[spoiler:Cyrus gets this at the beginning of the film... or so it seems at first.]]
* SmallNameBigEgo: The Torn Prince a.k.a. Royce Clayton was this in his backstory.
* SmugSnake: Ben Moss.
* SoundtrackDissonance: "Mirror Mirror" by rapper Rah Digga ([[DoItYourselfThemeTune who plays Maggie]]) plays over the end credits.
* SpannerInTheWorks [[spoiler:Cyrus is beaten in the end when Maggie (who has just woken up from being knocked out by Kalina) happens upon the tape deck playing the chants that are controlling the ghosts and messes with the controls. This causes the ghosts to break free and turn on Cyrus.]]
* SpiritAdvisor: [[spoiler:Ghost Dennis, who seems much more at peace with things than he was when he was alive, briefly acts as one for Arthur, complete with a YouWillKnowWhatToDo message.]]
* SwordCane: Cyrus has one.
* TemptingFate: Arthur says that there's no such thing as ghosts. Almost immediately, Kathy is attacked by the Jackal right in front of him.
* ThirteenIsUnlucky: Well, if the "Ocularis Infernum" ended up working, it ''would'' be lucky for the operator. Although the road to that point...
%%* TitleByNumber
* TitleDrop: The speech about the Black Zodiac and how the "thirteenth ghost" (one created by an ActOfTrueLove) would disrupt the Ocularis Infernum, which the other captured ghosts are meant to power up.
* TwoFaced: The Withered Lover and The Torn Prince, one because of fire, the other because a car accident.
* UnexpectedInheritance: Cyrus was just a crazy uncle up until the moment he passed away.
* UnhappyMedium: Dennis Rafkin.
-->"If you haven't noticed, '''I'm a little bit of a freak!''' I come within ten feet of anything dead, I go into seizures. I touch somebody, and a whole life full of shit just flashes in front of my eyes!"
* VideoWills: Cyrus leaves one of these, leaving Arthur (who is out of luck and living in an apartment with his family after his house burned) with his fortune and home...
* WesternZodiac: The movie uses its own (invented) "Black Zodiac" to account for 12 of the ghosts' presence and assign them titles.
%%* WindowLove: [[spoiler: Arthur and Jean.]]
* WitchHunt: The Pilgrimess died as a result of this.
* WolverineClaws: The Jackal prefers to use his fingernails when he's attacking.
* WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds: The Great Child, who was defending his mother and the Hammer, who was avenging his wife and children.
* WorstAid: When Dennis goes into spasms, Arthur grabs him in an attempt to help him and unknowingly makes his condition worse.
* WouldHurtAChild: [[spoiler:Cyrus]] has no problem sacrificing Arthur's children to complete his plans. [[spoiler: Kalina]], on the other hand, [[WouldntHurtAChild is horrified at the suggestion]].
* YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness: [[spoiler:Cyrus does this to Kalina]].