[[quoteright:300:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Sidehackers_2450.jpg]]

'''''The Sidehackers''''' (aka ''Five The Hard Way'') is a 1969 ExploitationFilm which follows the attempts of a garage mechanic and amateur motorcycle racer to avenge the rape and murder of his girlfriend.

The trouble starts when one JC and his gang bring their motorcycles to be repaired by the film's hero, Rommel. The topic of conversation turns to "sidehacking", which is basically a motorcycle race with sidecars (ostensibly for balance while turning). Rommel invites them all to his ranch to see a demonstration of this sidehacking; and JC gets totally into it, desiring to form a partership of sorts. Rommel, for reasons unspecified, is not too keen on this idea, and JC gives us a first glimpse at his [[BerserkButton hair-trigger temper]] (further developed in a later scene in which JC [[DomesticAbuse beats up his girlfriend Paisley]]).

Paisley, smitten with Rommel, goes to him and flirts, apparently hoping he will whisk her away from JC. Too bad for her, Rommel is faithful to his own girlfriend Rita, and rebuffs Paisley rather harshly. Enraged, Paisley goes back to JC and [[FalseRapeAccusation claims Rommel raped her]]. However, JC takes his vengeance to the extreme -- he goes and beats up Rommel, sure, but then he [[RapeAsDrama rapes and murders Rita, right in front of the helpless Rommel]].

[[PoliceAreUseless The police seem unable to locate JC]]; so Rommel, with nothing left to live for, sells all his worldly possessions in order to hire a gang to go exact his own revenge. He gets help from an unexpected source; a couple of JC's henchmen, Gooch and Nero, defect to Rommel's side. Except Gooch is TheMole and is secretly reporting Rommel's moves to JC. Ah, but Rommel is aware of Gooch's secret, and so this plot point... ultimately goes nowhere. In the meantime, JC gets bad vibes about Paisley's rape story and strangles her in a jealous fit.

It all leads to a final showdown in an old rock quarry, with the two gangs essentially wiping each other out and leaving JC and Rommel to have a climactic one-on-one. Rommel narrowly defeats his nemesis; but just as the police are finally arriving to arrest JC, [[DownerEnding JC shoots Rommel dead]].

[[ShootTheShaggyDog Can't you feel the joy of life just OOZING through your veins right now???]]

For the ''MysteryScienceTheater3000'' version, please go to the [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S02E02TheSidehackers episode recap page]]. The original uncut film can be seen starting [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMuF2XvPEO0 here.]]

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!!''The Sidehackers'' contains examples of:

* BerserkButton: Any time JC doesn't get his way.
* BrickJoke: ''Very'' poorly executed. Crapout is telling a joke involving prisoners shouting numbers at random. The numbers stand for jokes the prisoners already know. Nero starts to tell a joke, but Crapout stops him and tells him he knows that one already. [[MemeticMutation "That's a number 5!"]]
* DisproportionateRetribution: Guy turns you down and is a bit tactless about it? Don't just falsely accuse him of rape, do so to your psychotic boyfriend and his gang of armed thugs!
* DomesticAbuse: JC to Paisley.
* DownerEnding, bordering on ShootTheShaggyDog.
* EvilIsHammy: JC. Ain't that right? WELL? AIN'T IT?! AIN'T IT RIGHT?!
* ExploitationFilm
* FallingInLoveMontage
* FalseRapeAccusation
* HeelFaceTurn: Averted in that Nero was never a bad guy. He helps Rommel because he's sick of JC's abuse.
* LostLoveMontage
* MeadowRun
* TheMole: Gooch
* PoliceAreUseless: They can't seem to find JC after the murder, even though he's hiding in a local rock quarry.
** Even worse, he was hiding in his hotel for ''ten days'' before moving to the rock quarry.
* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: JC. That bit where he starts yelling at Nero, the sound goes out and the MST3K crew yells at him to shut up? Yeah, it's just what you're thinking.
* PsychopathicManChild: JC
* RapeAsDrama:
** Invoked in-story, when Paisley falsely cries "rape" in order to incite JC against Rommel.
** Rita's murder.
* {{Revenge}} drives most of the film, either one way or the other.
** RevengeBeforeReason: Rommel going after JC, rather than telling the cops where he is.
* ScrewThisImOuttaHere: After gunning down JC's gang, Nero and Crapout head for the hills and end up being the only characters who survive.
* StrengthEqualsWorthiness: How Rommel recruits bodybuilder "Big Jake" to his gang - kinda.
* TechnicalPacifist: Rommel won't allow his Vengeance Gang to use guns, even though he knows JC's men will. His gang feels differently.
* ThirdPersonPerson:
-->'''Big Jake:''' (after Rommel hits him) "He hit Big Jake!"
* TooDumbToLive: Gooch, did you really think anyone would believe you were shitting in the bushes for ''over an hour?''
* TogetherInDeath: Rommel and Rita...ev-evidently? What ''was'' that?
* TokenMinority: Nero.
* WordSaladTitle: ''Five The Hard Way''. Ostensibly a reference to dice-rolling ("the hard way" refers to rolling doubles, which of course cannot add up to an odd total), but this does not play into the film in any manner except for the song that plays at the beginning... which also does not relate to the film in any way other than being there.
** "Five the Hard Way" ''definitely has nothing to do'' with the Jack Nicholson movie ''FiveEasyPieces'', released earlier the same year.

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