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[[caption-width-right:286:Extreme Paintball.]]

->''"Remember when you could go outside without having to worry about the mosquitoes or the killers?"''
-->-- '''The Shopkeeper'''

''The Nail Gun Massacre'' is a 1985 SlasherMovie.

Set in a small rural Texas town, the film opens with a young woman named Linda, co-owner of a lumber yard with her brother Bubba, being viciously assaulted and gang raped by a group of construction workers after dropping off some material for them. For unexplained reasons, Linda's attackers escape prosecution, and walk free of any consequences for their horrendous act.

Some five months after that debacle, one of the rapists is confronted and killed in his home by a wisecracking, nail gun wielding assailant decked out in army fatigues and a black, taped up motorcycle helmet that masks their voice, giving them a sinister demonic drawl. A month after that brutal murder, two other construction workers, young men named Mark and Brad, are nail gunned in the woods while chopping wood, only about half a mile away from the first victim's house. With three murders in a town that hasn't had any in the last ten years, locals Sheriff Thomas and Doctor Rocky Jones (almost exclusively referred to as "Doc") team-up to track down the killer, who is rapidly accelerating when it comes to perforating citizens, and seemingly spiraling out of control, attacking people unrelated to the gang rape which they are seemingly avenging.

As the sheriff and doctor conduct their investigation, more potential innocent victims turn up in the form of a trio of friends named Tom, John and Maxine, who move into the first victim's house, seemingly the center point of the ongoing massacre, along with old County Line Road, which a mysterious golden hearse has been prowling as of late.

An anniversary edition DVD of the film was released by Futuristic Films in 2004, and was followed by another DVD release, this one deemed a special edition, in 2005; that one was put out by CultClassic distributor Synapse.

!! This film provides examples of the following tropes:

%%* EightiesHair
* ADateWithRosiePalms: "Why don't you do a self checkup until I get back?"
* AllThereInTheScript: Maxine's name is only used in the credits.
%%* AmmunitionBackpack
* AnArmAndALeg: After being shot a couple times, Mark keels over, causing him to lose control of his chainsaw, which cuts a hand off.
--> '''The Killer:''' "Now, now, you really shouldn't fall to pieces over me."
* ApologeticAttacker: "I'm sorry, you just don't understand."
%%* AssholeVictim: The rapists.
* AutoErotica: Attempted, and failed due to the lack of maneuverability.
%%* AxCrazy
%%* BadassBeard: Sheriff Tom.
%%* BeepingComputers
* BeneathSuspicion: Linda is treated this way by Doc.
* [[spoiler: BigBrotherInstinct]]: [[spoiler: The killer turns out to be Bubba, Linda's brother]].
%%* BloodFromTheMouth
* BondOneLiner: The killer spits these out for every victim he kills and it's always a bad pun related to the victim.
%%* BoomHeadshot
* BreastAttack: Several women get shot in the boobs.
* CampingACrapper: Brad is attacked while taking a piss.
%%* CarpetOfVirility: ''Everyone''.
* CastAsAMask: The killer (whose voice is provided by Thomas Freylac) is obviously played by a woman up until TheReveal.
* ChainsawGood: "Yeah, well, just let that killer show up, cuz' I'll cut him up with this here chainsaw!"
* ChaseScene: First between Doc's car and the killer's hearse, and later on foot.
* ColdBloodedTorture: Some of the victims aren't killed outright, but merely pumped full of nails and left to slowly die in a secluded area.
* CompletelyDifferentTitle: ''Carnage'' in France, and ''O Massacre'' in Brazil.
%%* ConstructionZoneCalamity: The finale.
%%* CoolBike: Owned by Ben and Trish.
%%* CoolCar: A gold hearse.
%%* CoolHelmet
* CreatorCameo: Writer and co-director Terry Lofton plays the truck driver who finds the hitchhiker's body.
* CuriosityKilledTheCast: Ben gets attacked while searching for Annie and Hal.
* DaylightHorror: "[[TemptingFate What the Hell you think's gonna happen out here in the middle of the daylight?]]"
* DeathBySex: Annie and Hal, and Jethro and his girlfriend.
%%* DeepSouth
* DisneyVillainDeath: The killer is chased through a construction site and up a piece of machinery, which he accidentally falls off of.
* TheDogWasTheMastermind: [[spoiler:Bubba's screen time is about a minute, give or take.]]
%%* DontGoInTheWoods
* DonutMessWithACop: Sheriff Tom is shown devouring one while heading to the latest crime scene.
* DullSurprise: The shopkeeper, who is just reading from the blatantly visible script.
%%* TheEighties
* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: Doc, though his actual name, Rocky Jones, is used once.
%%* EverythingIsBigInTexas
* EvilLaugh: The killer's is actually pretty freaky, due to his [[{{Transformers}} Soundwave]]-esque voice.
* EvilSoundsDeep: Due to the [[VoiceChangeling Voice Changer]].
%%* FanServiceWithASmile: The Dairy Queen waitress.
%%* FatIdiot: Sheriff Tom.
* FatBastard: A few of the rapist construction workers are fat.
* FlippingTheBird: While driving around, the killer is flipped off by a hitchhiker after passing by. [[OhCrap This causes the killer to stop, and start backing up.]]
--> '''Hitchhiker:''' [[TemptingFate "... Hell, I guess that's the way to get service."]]
* FollowTheLeader: One release outright calls the film ''[[Franchise/TheTexasChainsawMassacre Texas]] Nailgun Massacre''.
* ForTheEvulz: Most of the victims are killed for seemingly no reason besides providing the killer with some amusement.
%%* TheGhost: Old Lady Bailey.
%%* GirlyRun: The killer.
%%* GlowingEyesOfDoom: On [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/NGM_543.jpg this]] VHS cover.
%%* {{Gorn}}
* GroinAttack: Brad gets shot in the dick, and a construction worker steps on a rake.
* HarmfulToHitchhikers: A hitchhiker flips off a vehicle for speeding past him. Unfortunately, it's being driven by the killer -- who stops, waits for the hitchhiker to approach, and then [[DisproportionateRetribution fills him full of nails.]]
* HarmfulToMinors: A girl finding her father's nail-ridden body lying on a lit barbecue.
* HomePornMovie: "Hell, just let me see if I use you in one of my movies again!"
%%* HystericalWoman: Trish.
* ImpaledPalm: A number of characters get shot through the hands.
* ImprobableWeaponUser: Though the nail gun does appear pretty pimped out.
* InfantImmortality: The pregnant Trish survives, and the baby from the opening was ''probably'' left alone.
* InformedAbility: Most reviews point out that Doc isn't very doctor-ish.
* InstantDeathBullet: Sometimes in places that wouldn't even be fatal. Even saying that they just bled to death over time would be stretching it.
* JumpingOffTheSlipperySlope: Starting out as a vigilante, then just murdering any random person.
* KnightTemplarBigBrother: [[spoiler:Bubba is avenging his sister's rape by killing all those responsible, along with anyone else he runs into.]]
* LeaveTheCameraRunning: Annie and Hal's sex scene, though it's possible it just seems to last forever because of how gross it is. A few other scenes (Trish going into hysterics and the couple having sex in the car, for example) also drag.
* LimitedSpecialCollectorsUltimateEdition: The autographed Futuristic Films release, only five-hundred of which were made.
* MakeOutPoint: Where Jethro and his girlfriend are killed.
* MaleFrontalNudity: The perforated Hal's penis is briefly visible right before Annie falls dead on top of him.
%%* MalevolentMaskedMen
%%* MurdererPOV
* MyCarHatesMe: A pair of women have car trouble and go off in search of aid, only to run into the killer.
%%* NailEm
%%* NiceHat: Sheriff Tom's cowboy hat.
* NoPeripheralVision: It must be very effective camouflage.
* NotDistractedByTheSexy: Mark is more preoccupied with going out to cut wood with Brad than having sex with his extremely eager girlfriend.
* OhCrap: Brad lets out a "Shit!" as the killer prepares to shoot him.
* OminousFog: Appears before the first murder.
* OneSteveLimit: The names Linda and Annie actually get reused a lot.
%%* OneWayVisor
%%* ParodyRetcon
* PlayingDoctor: What Mark and his girlfriend call sex.
* PoliceAreUseless: It takes them a while to note the connection between the victims, and apparently they could do nothing about Linda's gang rape. Also, there's only one.
* PoolScene: The killer hides in one, jumping out later to ambush a character.
%%* PreMortemOneLiner
%%* TheProfiler: Doctor Howard Lee.
%%* PungeonMaster
%%* ReactionShot
* RapeAsDrama: The gang rape that kicks off the events of the film.
%%* RapeAndRevenge
%%* RedHerring: Linda and Old Lady Bailey.
%%* {{NamesToRunAwayFrom/Redneck Names}}: [[spoiler:Bubba.]]
* TheReveal: [[spoiler:The killer is Bubba, Linda's brother.]]
* {{Revenge}}: "It's not money I want! It's revenge, asshole!"
* RidingIntoTheSunset: The films ends with Doc and the traumatized Linda walking off into it.
%%* SamusIsAGirl: Inverted.
%%* SeanConneryIsAboutToShootYou
* TheScourgeOfGod: Ben lights up a joint shortly before being killed. Trish tokes on it, but survives, probably because she was pregnant.
%%* SerialKiller
* SerialKillingsSpecificTarget: Possibly, though it's equally probable that along with murdering the rapist construction workers, the killer just likes killing in general.
* ShadyRealEstateAgent: Old Lady Bailey is desperate to dump her house on someone, due to all the murders happening in and around it.
* TheSheriff: Tom, though they keep switching between referring to him as the sheriff and a deputy.
* TakeThat: "Forget about [[Franchise/TheTexasChainsawMassacre that guy with the chainsaw!]]"
%%* TwoGuysAndAGirl: Tom, John and Maxine.
* UrineTrouble: While urinating, Brad hears the killer approach and neglects to stop the stream before whipping around, thus he pees on the the killer's leg.
-->'''The Killer:''' (looks down, then back up) "Well, ya just pissed me off."
* UnusualEuphemism: "Besides, I'm as horny as a rooster in a Chinese hen house."
* VigilanteMan: Half this, half apparent thrill killer.
* VoiceChangeling: The killer's creepy voice, presumably caused by a device hidden in his helmet.
* WallBangHer: Or tree bang her, as the case may be.
%%* WeaponOfChoice
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: We never learn what happened to the first victim's wife and child, if they died, or we're left alone, or what. Tom, John, Maxine and Trish also just drop out of the story.
* WritersCannotDoMath: Doc saying in one scene that there have been ten victims so far, when there's obviously been more than that.