[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/sjff_03_img1018_3283.jpg]]

->'''Billy Fish:''' ''He wants to know if you are gods. ''
->'''Peachy Carnehan:''' ''Not gods - Englishmen. The next best thing. ''

A 1975 film directed by Creator/JohnHuston and starring Creator/SeanConnery, Creator/MichaelCaine and Creator/ChristopherPlummer about the glorious and awful sides of European Imperialism. This film follows Daniel Dravot (Connery) and Peachy Carnehan (Caine), two former non-commissioned officers of the British Raj on a journey into the wilds beyond the Khyber Pass and into the lands of Kafiristan on a mission to become kings, or die trying.

Based on a short story by Creator/RudyardKipling (played by Plummer here).
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!!This film contains examples of:

* AlasPoorYorick: The end.
* AlexanderTheGreat: Known as "Sikander" to the Kafirs, and held in legend as a god since he passed through and helped advance the region millenia earlier. He said he would return one day, and the high priests have been waiting ever since.
* AncientConspiracy: Peachy and Danny are members of the Freemasons. When this is found out, it marks them as the descendants of Alexander the Great to the Holy Men.
* AudienceSurrogate: Kipling.
* AwesomeMomentOfCrowning: Danny gets a very humble one.
* BattleInterruptingShout: Priests walk across the battle field and the War stops.
* BookEnds
* {{Brownface}}: Peachy and Danny use this in-universe to cross the border, posing as fakirs.
* CelibateHero: Inverted and ultimately subveted - Daniel and Peachy are doubtlessly as sly with women as they are with men's money and trust, but both make a pact not to dabble in matters of the opposite sex until their quest to become kings is achieved. Despite their unscrupulous nature, they stick to this surprisingly well. [[spoiler:Until Danny lets godhood get to his head and he demands a wife...]]
* ChasedByAngryNatives: After the wedding.
* ChekhovsArmoury: There is enough [[ChekhovsGun guns]] to fill an armoury.
** The Freemasons' Eye medalion
** The BadassBandolier
** The rope bridge
** Quite literall armoury is carried for most of the film by Peachy and Danny, as they are smuggling enough rifles to field few platoons.
* CrazyHomelessPeople: Peachy appears to be one at the start of the film.
* ConMan: Both of the protagonists.
* ConMenHateGuns: Averted. While Peachy and Danny use their wits constantly, they are also former [=NCOs=] and don't shy from gunning down opposition.
* CunningLinguist: Billy Fish.
* DefiantToTheEnd.
* DuelingStarsMovie: Sean Connery and Michael Caine.
* EvilColonialist: Peachy Carnehan and Daniel Dravot, who plan to use their British military training and a supply of smuggled arms to take over the tribes of Kafiristan (now a part of Afghanistan). They are openly racist and treat locals with (often undeserved) contempt.
* ExactWords: The Contract is null and void when any of the men became a king...
* FaceDeathWithDignity: Both of the leads. [[spoiler: And Peachy survives]].
* FeudEpisode: Brought on by the AGodAmI trope.
* FinalSpeech: At the end of the film, as they face death, the protagonists join together in singing a rousing Protestant hymn, "The Son of God Goes Forth to War", which is sung to the tune of "Minstrel Boy".
* ForWantOfANail: Even if opposed, Danny still could use his GodGuise and do as he please. If only Roxanne didn't bite him...
* FunWithForeignLanguages: Kafiristan means "Land of Infidels".
* AGodAmI: Danny develops this attitude.
* [[spoiler: GoOutWithASmile]]: Danny.
* GodGuise: The basis of most of the plot.
* {{Greed}}: The only motivation the protagonists have, at least at first.
* HeroicVow: The Contract.
* HeterosexualLifePartners: Peachy and Danny.
-->'''Daniel Dravot:''' Peachy, I'm heartily ashamed for getting you killed instead of going home rich like you deserved, [[HeelRealization on account of me being so bleeding high and bloody mighty]]. Can you forgive me?
-->'''Peachy Taliaferro Carnehan:''' That I can and that I do, Danny. [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Free and full and without let or hindrance]].
-->'''Daniel:''' Everything's all right then.
* IChooseToStay: Subverted.
* ImADoctorNotAPlaceholder:
--> '''Billy Fish:''' ''(after refusing his chance to escape in a horse)'' Gurkha is foot soldier, not cavalry.
* InMediasRes: Of the HowWeGotHere variety.
* ItHasBeenAnHonor:
** Peachy and Danny stuck in the Hindu Kush, where they think they will freeze to death.
** And Billy Fish, refusing his chance to escape.
--->"Gurkha foot soldier, not cavalry. Rifleman Majendra Bahadur Gurung wishing you many good lucks." ''(draws {{kukri|sAreKool}} and charges the mob)'' "[[ScreamingWarrior Ayo Gurkhali!]]"[[note]] "Here come the Gurkhas!", part of the Gurkha battle cry.[[/note]]
* KarmaHoudini: The High Priest of Kafiristan.
* KickTheDog: Peachy throws an friendly, eager-to-please Indian out of a moving train at the start of the film, establishing himself as a VillainProtagonist.
* LeanAndMean: The High Priest of Kafiristan.
* LoveableRogue: The protagonists.
* {{Mentors}}: Kipling.
* NubileSavage: Roxanne and a woman who attempts to seduce Peachy at one point in the film.
* ObfuscatingStupidity: Danny masquerades as a 'poor, harmless priest' in order to gain safe passage through Afghanistan.
* OminousLatinChanting: Not quite, but omnious tribal music during the wedding sequence lets the audience know something is up...
* OnlyKnownByTheirNickname: Peachy and Daniel dub their Gurkha sidekick "Billy Fish" because he reminds him of an Army friend of the same name.
* PocketProtector: Used to stop an arrow with a bandolier.
* PropheticNames: Roxanne, who shares the name of one of the wives of Alexander the Great.
* RaceLift: In the short story, Billy Fish is one of the chiefs of the region instead of a Gurkha.
* TheRaj
* SceneryPorn: The remote region of Kafiristan.
* SeveredHeadSports: People in Kaffiristan are shown playing polo with the head in a bag of a chieftain who was deposed. [[spoiler: Part of the reason the narrator takes his friend's severed head with him, is so that he avoids his dishonor.]]
* SinisterMinister: The HighPriest of Kafiristan.
* SoleSurvivor: Billy Fish of a mapping expedition years before Danny and Peachy set out. [[spoiler: Peachy becomes this when all their troops are wiped down and Danny is killed]].
* TemptingFate: Danny. This is invoked [[RuleOfThree three times]] by Peachy.
* ThwartedEscape: The end of the film.
* TrainingThePeacefulVillagers: Peachy and Danny do a lot of it in order to build up their Kingdom.
* UnreliableNarrator: {{Averted|Trope}} at the end, when Peachy proves the tale was true [[spoiler:by taking Danny's head out of a bag with the crown still on it]].
* VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory: The film is based partly on the travels of American adventurer Josiah Harlan and James Brooke, the English "white Raja" of Sarawak in Borneo.
* VillainProtagonist: Danny and Peachy qualify as this in many ways - though grudgingly likeable characters you can't help but root for during most of the film, they're also bigoted, remorseless con men seeking to plunder a small nation by taking advantage of it's primitive culture and deeply held religious beliefs. Not to mention casual racism, many imperialistic undertones and open contempt to anything not English.
* WhatCouldHaveBeen: During the 1950s, John Huston tried unsuccessfully to make a version of the film starring Humphrey Bogart and Clark Gable but he was never able to do so. Both of them were long dead by 1975.
* WhiteMansBurden: One of the main themes. Danny gets high on in after being crowned.