[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/sjff_03_img1018_3283.jpg]]

->'''Billy Fish:''' ''He wants to know if you are gods. ''
->'''Peachy Carnehan:''' ''Not gods - Englishmen. The next best thing. ''

A 1975 film directed by Creator/JohnHuston and starring Creator/SeanConnery, Creator/MichaelCaine and Creator/ChristopherPlummer about the glorious and awful sides of European Imperialism. This film follows Daniel Dravot (Connery) and Peachy Carnehan (Caine), two former non-commissioned officers of the British Raj on a journey into the wilds beyond the Khyber Pass and into the lands of Kafiristan on a mission to become kings, or die trying.

Based on a short story by Creator/RudyardKipling (played by Plummer here).
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!!This film contains examples of:

* AlasPoorYorick: The end.
* AlexanderTheGreat: Known as "Sikander" to the Kafirs, and held in legend as a god since he passed through and helped advance the region millenia earlier. He said he would return one day, and the high priests have been waiting ever since.
* AncientConspiracy: Peachy and Danny are members of the Freemasons. When this is found out, it marks them as the descendants of Alexander the Great to the Holy Men.
* AudienceSurrogate: Kipling.
* AwesomeMomentOfCrowning: Danny gets a very humble one.
* BattleInterruptingShout: Priests walk across the battle field and the War stops.
* BookEnds
* {{Brownface}}: Peachy and Danny use this in-universe to cross the border, posing as fakirs.
* CelibateHero: Inverted and ultimately subveted - Daniel and Peachy are doubtlessly as sly with women as they are with men's money and trust, but both make a pact not to dabble in matters of the opposite sex until their quest to become kings is achieved. Despite their unscrupulous nature, they stick to this surprisingly well. [[spoiler:Until Danny lets godhood get to his head and he demands a wife...]]
* ChasedByAngryNatives: After the wedding.
* ChekhovsArmoury: There is enough [[ChekhovsGun guns]] to fill an armoury.
** The Freemasons' Eye medalion
** The BadassBandolier
** The rope bridge
** Quite literall armoury is carried for most of the film by Peachy and Danny, as they are smuggling enough rifles to field few platoons.
* CrazyHomelessPeople: Peachy appears to be one at the start of the film.
* ConMan: Both of the protagonists.
* ConMenHateGuns: Averted. While Peachy and Danny use their wits constantly, they are also former [=NCOs=] and don't shy from gunning down opposition.
* CunningLinguist: Billy Fish.
* DefiantToTheEnd.
* DirectLineToTheAuthor: Kipling, the author, heard the story from Peachy.
* DuelingStarsMovie: Sean Connery and Michael Caine.
* EvilColonialist: Peachy Carnehan and Daniel Dravot, who plan to use their British military training and a supply of smuggled arms to take over the tribes of Kafiristan (now a part of Afghanistan). They are openly racist and treat locals with (often undeserved) contempt.
* ExactWords: The Contract is null and void when any of the men became a king...
* FaceDeathWithDignity: Both of the leads. [[spoiler: And Peachy survives]].
* FeudEpisode: Brought on by the AGodAmI trope.
* FinalSpeech: At the end of the film, as they face death, the protagonists join together in singing a rousing Protestant hymn, "The Son of God Goes Forth to War", which is sung to the tune of "Minstrel Boy".
* ForWantOfANail: Even if opposed, Danny still could use his GodGuise and do as he please. If only Roxanne didn't bite him...
* FunWithForeignLanguages: Kafiristan means "Land of Infidels".
** It is an actual historical region in Afghanistan. It was called such by its Muslim neighbors because, like in the story, its inhabitants were not Muslims and it was largely inaccessible because of geography. It remained mysterious to outsiders for centuries until Afghans finally conquered the region and forcibly converted its people to Islam only in 1896, 8 years after the original story was published. The region is now called Nuristan.
* AGodAmI: Danny develops this attitude.
* [[spoiler: GoOutWithASmile]]: Danny.
* GodGuise: The basis of most of the plot.
* {{Greed}}: The only motivation the protagonists have, at least at first.
* HeroicVow: The Contract.
* HeterosexualLifePartners: Peachy and Danny.
-->'''Daniel Dravot:''' Peachy, I'm heartily ashamed for getting you killed instead of going home rich like you deserved, [[HeelRealization on account of me being so bleeding high and bloody mighty]]. Can you forgive me?
-->'''Peachy Taliaferro Carnehan:''' That I can and that I do, Danny. [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Free and full and without let or hindrance]].
-->'''Daniel:''' Everything's all right then.
* IChooseToStay: Subverted.
* ImADoctorNotAPlaceholder:
--> '''Billy Fish:''' ''(after refusing his chance to escape in a horse)'' Gurkha is foot soldier, not cavalry.
* InMediasRes: Of the HowWeGotHere variety.
* ItHasBeenAnHonor:
** Peachy and Danny stuck in the Hindu Kush, where they think they will freeze to death.
** And Billy Fish, refusing his chance to escape.
--->"Gurkha foot soldier, not cavalry. Rifleman Majendra Bahadur Gurung wishing you many good lucks." ''(draws {{kukri|sAreKool}} and charges the mob)'' "[[ScreamingWarrior Ayo Gurkhali!]]"[[note]] "Here come the Gurkhas!", part of the Gurkha battle cry.[[/note]]
* KarmaHoudini: The High Priest of Kafiristan.
* KickTheDog: Peachy throws an friendly, eager-to-please Indian out of a moving train at the start of the film, establishing himself as a VillainProtagonist.
* LeanAndMean: The High Priest of Kafiristan.
* LoveableRogue: The protagonists.
* {{Mentors}}: Kipling.
* NubileSavage: Roxanne and a woman who attempts to seduce Peachy at one point in the film.
* ObfuscatingStupidity: Danny masquerades as a 'poor, harmless priest' in order to gain safe passage through Afghanistan.
* OminousLatinChanting: Not quite, but omnious tribal music during the wedding sequence lets the audience know something is up...
* OnlyKnownByTheirNickname: Peachy and Daniel dub their Gurkha sidekick "Billy Fish" because he reminds him of an Army friend of the same name.
* PocketProtector: Used to stop an arrow with a bandolier.
* PropheticNames: Roxanne, who shares the name of one of the wives of Alexander the Great.
* RaceLift: In the short story, Billy Fish is one of the chiefs of the region instead of a Gurkha.
* TheRaj
* SceneryPorn: The remote region of Kafiristan.
* SeveredHeadSports: People in Kaffiristan are shown playing polo with the head in a bag of a chieftain who was deposed. [[spoiler: Part of the reason the narrator takes his friend's severed head with him, is so that he avoids his dishonor.]]
** This is based on real life polo-like game called Buzkashi popular in Afghanistan. The modern version of the game is played with the carcass of a goat or a calf, but earlier versions were reputed to involve corpses of vanquished enemies.
* SinisterMinister: The HighPriest of Kafiristan.
* SoleSurvivor: Billy Fish of a mapping expedition years before Danny and Peachy set out. [[spoiler: Peachy becomes this when all their troops are wiped down and Danny is killed]].
* TemptingFate: Danny. This is invoked [[RuleOfThree three times]] by Peachy.
* ThwartedEscape: The end of the film.
* TrainingThePeacefulVillagers: Peachy and Danny do a lot of it in order to build up their Kingdom.
* UnreliableNarrator: {{Averted|Trope}} at the end, when Peachy proves the tale was true [[spoiler:by taking Danny's head out of a bag with the crown still on it]].
* VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory: The film is based partly on the travels of American adventurer Josiah Harlan and James Brooke, the English "white Raja" of Sarawak in Borneo.
* VillainProtagonist: Danny and Peachy qualify as this in many ways - though grudgingly likeable characters you can't help but root for during most of the film, they're also bigoted, remorseless con men seeking to plunder a small nation by taking advantage of it's primitive culture and deeply held religious beliefs. Not to mention casual racism, many imperialistic undertones and open contempt to anything not English.
* WhatCouldHaveBeen: During the 1950s, John Huston tried unsuccessfully to make a version of the film starring Humphrey Bogart and Clark Gable but he was never able to do so. Both of them were long dead by 1975.
* WhiteMansBurden: One of the main themes. Danny gets high on in after being crowned.