[[caption-width-right:350:What could possibly go wrong?]]
''The Maiden Heist'' is a 2009 comedy film starring Creator/ChristopherWalken, Creator/MorganFreeman, Creator/WilliamHMacy, and Marcia Gay Harden.
Roger (Walken) is a member of the security team of a prominent art museum, though much of the time his attentions are focused solely on one painting: "The Lonely Maiden". His obsession is such that it affects his relationship with his wife, Rose (Gay-Harden). Charles (Freeman) works in guest relations and has a similar fascination with another painting, and George (Macy) is a night watchman who is perhaps too familiar with a particular statue. When they hear that their exhibits are due to be shipped off to a museum in Denmark, they team up to keep it from happening. After numerous canned plans, they decide to steal the paintings ''during the move'' and switch forgeries in their place.[[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensues.]]
Was originally supposed to be released theatrically, but the bankruptcy of its distributor forced it to be sent directly to DVD.
* AccentuatetheNegative: When the three have collected their forgeries, each one knows that they aren't perfect despite their flawless appearance. George is the first to realize that it's because they're so obsessed with their individual pieces that they just ''know'' something is amiss; it has nothing to do with their quality at all.
* BookEnds: The film opens with Roger staring at the painting in question. [[spoiler: A guard in the museum in Denmark acts the same way with the forgery.]]
* CargoShip: Each of the guys with their respective pieces of art. To call it an obsession would be putting it lightly.
* ChekhovsGag: George stripping down whenever he's alone with his statue.
* [[CrazyCatLady Crazy Cat...Man?]]: Charles's obsession with his painting has led to his hoarding of many, ''many'' cats; he is a rare male invocation of this trope.
* CrowningMomentofAwesome: [[spoiler: Despite all their blunders, the heist ends as though it were without a hitch.]]
** [[spoiler: Perhaps most impressively, Roger being able to talk a suspicious security guard out of taking the crate with George in it.]]
* CrowningMomentofFunny: Roger's fantasy in the very beginning. Made more hilarious in that his foes are armed with fully-automatic weapons and all he has is a handgun, yet he still maintains one shot per kill.
** Any time George takes his clothes off.
---> '''Rose''': Roger...is ''this'' the surprise?
** The rappell practice, most especially Roger's turn.
---> '''Roger''': [Tilting straight back] I think my hands are slipping.
---> '''George''': Which one?
---> '''Roger''': Both of them.
* CrowningMomentofHeartwarming: [[spoiler: Roger learns to live without the painting (after he gets it, of course), and falls in love with his wife again.]]
* DaydreamSurprise: The fantasy gunfight that opens the film.
* CuteKitten: Charles' obsession with the painting seems to stem from the cat featured in it.
* DirectToDVD: after the distributor, Yari Film Group, went bankrupt
* ExpositionDiagram: Both the first and the third form apply; George creates a miniature diorama of the museum's floorplan and uses chess pieces and toy soldiers to signify themselves and guards moving through the museum. Small stop-motion animated sequences illustrate the plans put forward...and their failures.
* FanDisservice: Unless you've always wanted to see William H. Macy's ass.
* FetishFuel: George's statue is supposed to be "the epitome of...the naked male form".
* GunsAkimbo: Roger does this during his fantasy that opens the film.
* HeyItsThatGuy: Roger is [[Film/AViewToAKill Max Zorin]] and [[Film/TheDeerHunter Cpl. Nick Chevotarevich]]. George is [[ThankYouForSmoking Senator Ortolan K. Finistirre]]. Charles is [[TheShawshankRedemption Ellis Redding]] and ''[[BruceAlmighty God]]''. Rose is [[Film/MysticRiver Celeste Boyle]] and [[MonaLisaSmile Nancy Abbey]].
** The artist that does Roger's painting is none other than [[RobotChicken Breckin Meyer]].
* HilarityEnsues: Essentially the entire plan from start to finish.
* InformedAbility: George claims to have served in the invasion of Grenada, and he has plenty of gear, but his skills in practice are...well...
* ImOkay: George after his "rappell" down the side of the apartment building.
* MacGuffin: The works of art.
* MistakenForGay: George insists that his obsession with the statue is merely from an artistic standpoint, and not a sexual one, and even though he takes off his clothes every time he sees it, it's never in a sexual manner; he's comparing the statue's physique to his own. [[spoiler:In fact, it's so similar that the duplicate statue is based off of his own body.]]
* NakedPeopleAreFunny: See "fan disservice" above.
* OhCrap: During the swap, one of the guards unexpectedly makes his way down to the storage facility.
** [[spoiler: "I'm already out!"]]
* SemperFi: George is a former Marine (or at least claims to be one) and salutes Roger and Charles with "Semper Fi".