[[quoteright:308:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_love_guru_movie_poster.jpg]]

->''"His karma is huge."''

''The Love Guru'' is a 2008 comedy film directed by Marco Schnabel and starring Creator/MikeMyers in his first major live-action big-screen role following the ''Film/AustinPowers'' trilogy.

It's the story of an American-born but Indian-raised self-help guru named Guru Pitka (Myers), whose dream is to surpass the famous Deepak Chopra as North America's number-one, go-to self-help guru. To do this, [[UsefulNotes/NationalHockeyLeague Toronto Maple Leafs]] manager Jane Bullard (Creator/JessicaAlba) ropes him into helping the team's star player Darren Roanoke (Creator/RomanyMalco) regain his confidence, as it has been severely shaken since his wife Prudence (Creator/MeaganGood) left him for his hockey rival Jacques "le Coq" Grandé (Music/JustinTimberlake).

It also featured prominent performances from Creator/VerneTroyer, Creator/StephenColbert and even Sir Creator/BenKingsley, but none of it spared this largely [[ToiletHumor scatological]] comedy from being condemned by both audiences and critics. Despite expectations that the film would revive Myers' career – he hadn't toplined a live-action film since 2003's ''Film/TheCatInTheHat'' – it instead became one of 2008's biggest flops and was nominated for a whopping seven [[UsefulNotes/GoldenRaspberryAward Razzies]]. It won three, for Worst Picture, Worst Actor, and Worst Screenplay.

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!!Tropes:
* AbusiveParents: The crux of Darren Roanoke's self-esteem issues stems from his mother Lilian, who's presented as domineering and only allowing affection if he were to pass her high expectations. When he tells her that he doesn't see her because of this (after goading from Pitka), she responds by socking him in the jaw. When he loses his nerve and runs for it when it's revealed that she's the guest seeker at her game (Jacque having planned it to sabotage him), all she has to say is that this was because she didn't pressure him ''enough.''
--> '''Lillian:''' Pressure makes diamonds.\\
'''Pitka:''' Pressure also makes rubble.
* ActorAllusion: Creator/BenKingsley, best known as ''Film/{{Gandhi}}'', in the role of Pitka's master.
* AdamWesting: Creator/BenKingsley appearance is essentially a self-parody of his role in ''Film/{{Gandhi}}'', and as practitioners of exotic ancient mysticism.
* AlmostKiss: With Jane and Pitka during the dinner scene but Pitka [[RagingStiffie gets an erection]] causing his chastity belt to ding.
* AmbiguouslyGay: Creator/StephenColbert's color commentator character; almost all of his comments are gay-related {{Double Entendre}}s.
* ArtisticLicenseSports: Many JustForFun/{{egregious}} errors in the portrayal of Hockey, like the referee handing out on-the-spot game suspensions, goalies wearing outdated style plastic masks and Guru Pitka having free access to the Toronto bench.
* {{Angrish}}: Pitka does this after he is punched in the testicles by Coach Cherkoff.
* AssShove: The BarBrawl ends with Pitka having a pool cue shoved up his butt.
* AuthorAppeal: Creator/MikeMyers apparently made this movie out of his being a fan of both the Toronto Maple Leafs and the teachings of Deepak Chopra.
* BeautyInversion: Music/JustinTimberlake is almost unrecognizable as Jacques with his wig and fake PornStache.
* BiggerIsBetterInBed:
** Having a GagPenis is the defining attribute of Jacques "le Coq" Grandé and Darren feels incredibly distressed by the idea of Prudence [[FoeCooties sleeping with him]] due to not being able to compare. He even has an ImagineSpot of her being mesmerized by Jacques's size.
** In the deleted scene/extended ending when Pitka finally consumates his relationship with Jane, we hear the elephant-trumpeting noise that usually comes from the chastity belt, then we see a shot of the belt on the ground implying that Pitka is hung like an elephant.
* BlandNameProduct: Not a product, but a person -- Harold Ballard (former Maple Leafs owner) becomes Hank Bullard.
* TheBlindLeadingTheBlind: Guru Pitka claims that he can teach people how to get their relationships in order, but he's saddled with tons of romantic personal problems that no reliable self-help guru would ever have. Some of his advice may be somewhat sensible, but most of it consists of [[{{Pun}} bad puns]] and [[ToiletHumor fecal jokes]]. This is further backed up as some of the celebrities he has "helped" include Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes as well as the Beatles, both of which are rather notorious for breaking up.
* BrickJoke: It's established early on that Guru Pitka has a fondness for '70s music arranged in the UsefulNotes/{{Bollywood}} style. The DancePartyEnding song is "The Joker", which wouldn't be especially significant except for it contains the line, 'some people call me Maurice', ''which is also mentioned early on as Pitka's real name''.
* TheCameo: So many different cameos:
** Creator/MorganFreeman has a sound-only cameo by proving the voice to Pitka's narrator machine, which comes with a "Morgan Freeman" setting.
** Creator/StephenColbert as the ''Series/HockeyNightInCanada'' commentator Jay Kell, who is obsessed with sex and has a drug addiction. Strangely, some people consider Colbert's performance to be the best in the movie.
** Deepak Chopra, whom Guru Pitka says he aspires to be bigger than, makes a cameo as himself.
** Oscar-winning actor Creator/BenKingsley as Pitka's cross-eyed mentor Guru Tugginmypudha.
** Creator/JohnOliver as Dick Pants, an advisor to Pitka. Apparently, Creator/StephenColbert wasn't the only ''Series/TheDailyShow'' correspondent they could get.
** Creator/SamanthaBee, another former ''Daily Show'' correspondent (and a Canadian to boot), makes a brief cameo appearance as a cashier.
** Music/JessicaSimpson, Creator/ValKilmer and 'Mariska Hargitay' greeting appear in Pitka's Ashram VIP room playing [[AsHimself as themselves]].
** Creator/MariskaHargitay name is used by Guru Pitka in a RunningGag early on as a greeting. She later shows up AsHerself when Pitka names a new Ashram after her.
** Creator/MikeMyers makes a cameo AsHimself in his own movie, alongside Music/KanyeWest.
* CallingTheOldManOut: Near the climax Darren finally stands up to his mother.
* CelibateHero: Pitka, much to his chagrin. His chastity belt clanks [[RagingStiffie when he gets a boner]] (usually around [[LustObject Jane]]) and does not protect him from groin attacks.
* CelebCrush: Jacques has a thing for fellow French-Canadian Music/CelineDion.
* CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot: Pitka can't be romantic with Jane because he won't get the key to his chastity belt until he self-actualizes. Once he does, Guru Tugginmypudha reveals that the chastity belt wasn't locked; he could've taken it off at any time.
* CountryMatters: Responding to a complaint that another character can't face something, Pitka says "What is it you can't face?" Now say it again in an Indian accent: "[[spoiler:What is it, you cuntface?]]" This was used in a lot of advertising material.
%%* DancePartyEnding
* DigitalHeadSwap: Done for Guru Pitka's child self (with Creator/MikeMyers' normal head).
* DontExplainTheJoke
-->'''Guru Pitka:''' Rajneesh, I'd like an alligator soup, and make it snappy! Because alligators are snappy, and at the same time, I want it prompt. ''[grins]''
* EasilyForgiven: Near the end of the movie, Jane has to make her way through the crowd, and when they jeer at and insult her, [[ShamingTheMob she snaps at them, complains about how hard her job is]], and tells them that they can all "kiss my Canadian ass" -- which somehow instantly wins over the crowd.
* ExperimentedInCollege: Jane reveals that she had a girlfriend while in college, which [[GirlOnGirlIsHot leaves Pitka very distracted]]. Which, bizarrely enough, makes this the second movie in successive years (the first being ''Film/GoodLuckChuck'') where Creator/JessicaAlba played an otherwise strictly heterosexual woman who had a brief lesbian phase in college.
* EmasculatedCuckold: Darren is extremely insecure that his wife left him for another man, especially since that man is [[FoeCooties his rival]] and famous for [[BiggerIsBetterInBed having an enormous penis]]. When Jacques confirms he and Prudence have indeed slept together, it causes Darren to have a HeroicBSOD in the middle of the game.
* FoeCooties: Darren is extremely upset that his ex-wife Prudence is dating his rival Jacques, especially since he feels [[InsecureLoveInterest insecure]] about Jacques "Le Coq" being [[BiggerIsBetterInBed the bigger man]].
* ForeignCussWord: French Canadian Jacques uses "tabarnak" when cursing.
* ForeignQueasine: Instead of preparing a skunk's bottom, which Guru Pitka says is a lot like calamari, Rajneesh prepares Kartapal Birigalapatt, or "nuts in a sling": two lychees wrapped in a doughy pouch, crushed with a meat mallet, boiled in oil, then served with a pickle and curly fries. Jane Bullard, played by Jessica Alba, declines and has soup instead.
%%* FunWithAcronyms
* FunnyBackgroundEvent: Jacques sings to Prudence while Pitka is being attacked by Jacques's pet Rooster in the background.
* GagPenis: Jacques Grandé is called "Le Coq" for his enormous equipment. We see a scene of him dropping his ModestyTowel in the locker which is followed by a "thud" sound, and the female reporter gawks at it in awe (We only see him from [[ShouldersUpNudity the waist up]]). He even has a red cockatrice symbol painted all around his house.
* GroinAttack:
** Cherkoff uses the capital of Thailand prank on Pitka and punches him in the crotch. Pitka groans instantly and covers himself he doubles over and exclaims "Omar Sharif! My BALLS! and groans "oh-ho!" then drops to the ground still cradling himself he groans and complains "My 'Balls' you prick" and {{angrish}}ly curses.
** Just seconds prior to the Bangkok scene, after another game lost, the next RunningGag of the animated mascots hitting each other with the Toronto Maple Leafs mascot is whacked in the crotch with a hockey stick by the Los Angeles Kings mascot, it grabs its groin and doubled over then falls down.
* HaplessSelfHelp: Pitka consoles others on their romantic lives with completely nonsensical advice despite always being in messes of his own making.
* HeroicBSOD: This happens to Darren towards the end of the movie, first when his mother shows up unannounced to watch the hockey game and later when Jacques implies that he and Prudence [[EmasculatedCuckold have already slept together]].
* IceCreamKoan: Just about every advice by Pitka, such as "If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?"
* InherentlyFunnyWords: Pitka is always spewing names that sound like this ("Mariska Hargitay!").
* InJoke: Darren and Prudence have an intimate joke of saying "Damn!" whenever they had really good sex. When Jacques whispers "Damn!" to him, it cause Darren to freeze up in jealousy since it confirms to him that [[FoeCooties Prudence and Jacques not only slept together, but she also enjoyed it]].
* MayDecemberRomance: Pitka and Jane, with Jane being 18 years younger.
* MyBelovedSmother: Darren's mother pressured him to succeed from a young age, and only showed him affection when he did so. This was part of the reason for his marriage troubles with Prudence as he believed she would only love him as long as he succeeded like his mom.
* MadnessMantra: After meeting Music/JessicaSimpson. Pitka says "I’m beautiful and I have a secret" as he mimes masturbating with an ahegao facial expression.
* MythologyGag: A voiceover machine is used in the ending of ''Film/TheCatInTheHat''.
* NeverTrustATrailer: The movie trailer has Creator/DonLaFontaine (aka The Movie Trailer Guy) on the Voiceover Machine. The final product has Creator/MorganFreeman.
* OohMeAccentsSlipping: Music/JustinTimberlake's French-Canadian accent. However, he does still say "tabarnak", which is probably the strongest Quebec French profanity.
* OverlyLongGag: The mating dance with the two elephants.
* PokeInTheThirdEye: A [[LiteralMetaphor literal example]], through Pitka's use of [[IKnowKungFaux Howdahurdaghi]].
%%* PunBasedTitle: The titles of Guru Pitka's self-help books.
* PunnyName: In addition to the [[PunBasedTitle punny titles]] for Guru Pitka's self-help books, the film features several sex-suggestive and generally character-accurate punny names, including Guru Tugginmypudha, Coach Cherkoff, and Jacques Grande.
* RagingStiffie: Happens to Pitka twice. First after Jane reveals to him that she had a lesbian phase in college. The second when she leans in to kiss him on the cheek during dinner together.
* RunningGag: Guru Pitka's use of actress Creator/MariskaHargitay's name as a greeting. Ironically, she [[TheCameo appears later on in the movie as herself]], in which Pitka promises to name a new building after her.
* SelfAbuse: Pitka is told by his severely crosseyed teacher that if he masturbates, he will become cross-eyed.
* SexGod: The alternate ending has Pitka and Jane finally sleeping together, and he apparently completely overwhelms her with his sexual prowess, making her jump out of the ModestyBedsheet in a [[MessyHair disheveled mess]] while exclaiming "''Damn''".
* SexySurfacingShot: Prudence is introduced coming out of the pool in Jacques's manor, with plenty of MaleGaze as [[FeetFirstIntroduction the camera slowly pans up her body]].
* ShareTheMalePain: Like ''Austin Powers'', Pitka actually [[ShareTheMalePain feels the male pain]] when something similar to a genital is destroyed. During a diner scene a meal called "nuts in a sling" is prepared by Pitka’s assistant. It is two lychee nuts in a dough pouch. His assistant asks him if he wants his nuts crushed and Pitka responds incredulously with "doesn’t everyone". As they are whacked with the wooden mallet Pitka exclaims and grunts and groans. Jane goes from entertained to wincing. He shouts out his safe word. The next step is dipping it in hot oily water. Pitka groans in discomfort at first, hissing and groaning then moans in pleasure.
* ShoutOut:
** When Pitka is fiddling with Darren's car stereo and "[[Film/WaynesWorld Bohemian Rhapsody]]" comes on, he briefly smirks at the camera.
** During the dinner scene, Pitka mimicks TurnYourHeadAndCough, which is what ''Austin Powers'' did in ''[[Film/AustinPowers Goldmember]]'' with the fuzzy dice in his time travel car.
** Pitka presents Creator/MariskaHargitay with a "[[Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit Special Victims]]" themed ashram miniature, complete with a button that does the ''Law & Order'' SignatureSoundEffect.
** Pitka is unfamiliar with hot dogs and wonders if they're really serving dog genitals or if he's being ''Series/Punkd''.
** A picture of "[[Franchise/StarWars Guru Wars]]" is on a magazine cover, complete with lightsabers.
* SmokeOut: Pitka and Rajneesh escape an angry Jacques at a nightclub by throwing a smoke bomb and instantly disappearing.
* ToiletHumor: A huge part of this movie's comedy, including a scene involving jousting with urine-soaked mops.
* TradeSnark:
** Guru Pitka appends "TM" on advice-giving acronyms.
** And on the posters for the film itself, the title has a "TM" by it.
* TwoDecadesBehind: Jacques [[Franchise/FridayThe13th Jason Voorhees]]-style goalie mask was about thirty years out of date when the film came out.
* VanityLicensePlate: Jacques has "[[GagPenis Big Coq]]" on the plate of his car.
* VowOfCelibacy: Pitka at 12 years old is forced to wear a chastity belt with an Elephant head codpiece. It does not protect its contents from ''{{groin attack}}s''.

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