[[caption-width-right:220: Good luck trying to charm her.]]

''Lair of the White Worm'' is a 1988 horror movie directed by KenRussell; starring Amanda Donohoe and a young Hugh Grant, loosely based on a novel by Creator/BramStoker.

The fim begins with Angus Flint, a Scottish archealogist, discovering a large reptilian skull in the backyard of English sisters, Mary and Eve Trent. The Trent sisters share with him that their father disappeared in a local legendary cave while on expedition and believe the skull might be connected somehow. This cave was on the property of the D'Ampton family, nobles in the area and the subject of a local legend. Centuries ago, a D'Ampton fought a giant snake in the same cave and killed it by cutting it in half with a sword. This giant snake is referred to in legend (and a rock'n folk song) as the D'Ampton Worm. They soon meet James D'Ampton (Grant), the current heir to the property, and attempt to unravel the mystery.

Meanwhile, returning from a vacation, Lady Sylvia Marsh (Donohoe) returns to her mansion next to the D'Ampton home. Lady Marsh is a well respected member of the area and, of course, happens to be a vampire. It also just so happens that she worships the D'Ampton Worm and is keen on its return. She has her eyes set on James D'Ampton and the sisters, particularly Eve. As it turns out, Lady Marsh needs the blood of a virgin to release the D'Ampton Worm and Eve fits the bill. What follows is a surreal, tongue-in-cheek horror movie filled with the occult, blood sucking, a giant snake, and Amanda Donohoe with a strap-on.

!!This film provides examples of:

* AndThenJohnWasAZombie: The final shot is of [[spoiler:Angus]] in full-fledged vampire mode. It creates a bit of a BolivianArmyEnding.
* BadassBookworm: Angus is pretty nerdy but isn't afraid to fight vampires and giant snakes.
* BatmanGambit: Angus and James' preparation to take down Lady Marsh involves research, careful planning, and giant pairs of balls.
* BetweenMyLegs: A shot of Eve toward the end as she is prepared to be sacrificed.
* BreakTheCutie: It seems this happens to [[spoiler: Eve after her virginity is nearly taken away by Lady Marsh.]]
* {{Camp}}: Quite intentional.
* DaylightHorror: The vampires can function during the day. The cop-turned-vampire going after Angus is a clear example.
* DeathBySex: Spending a night with Lady Marsh has a very obvious result.
* EyeScream: The aforementioned vampire cop happens to land on a sundial, ripping an eye out of his socket in a particularly gory shot.
* {{Fanservice}}: Every scene with Amanda Donohoe.
* FullFrontalAssault: Lady Marsh attacks while at least partly nude in the end.
* GirlOnGirlIsHot: Unless it deals with virgin sacrifices.
* GoodLipsEvilJaws: Lady Marsh's transormation into gaping-jawed reptilian horror.
* GroinAttack: An oral attack from a vampire even... Ouch!
* HeyItsThatGuy / RetroactiveRecognition: A very young HughGrant as James D'Ampton, as well as an also-very-young PeterCapaldi as Angus Flint.
* HumanSacrifice: The D'Ampton Worm needs one in order to come back. It's preferable that the human is a virgin.
* LesbianVampire: Lady Marsh has sex with men but that seems to be a means to an end when it comes to feeding. She takes a more particular liking to Eve.
* MonsterProgenitor: It's implied that the D'Ampton Worm spawned the snake-like vampires shown in this film. It's also possible that Lady Marsh was one of the first or possibly the first.
* MrsRobinson: A very dark example.
* NatureAbhorsAVirgin: Lady Marsh mocks the idea of virginity and is delighted in sacrificing virgins to her snake god.
* OurVampiresAreDifferent: They're LizardFolk, apparently. The usual weakness toward Christian crosses is also averted as shown when Lady Marsh dissolves a crucifix by spitting acid on it. Oh, and these vampires function in daylight [[TakeThat without having]] [[Literature/{{Twilight}} to sparkle]].
* SettingUpdate: The original novel took place during the Victorian Era but the movie takes place in modern day (or at least, modern day for TheEighties).
* SlidingScaleOfComedyAndHorror: This is a pretty balanced movie with scares and laughs often happening at the same time.
* SnakesAreSexy: Combined with a healthy dose of VampiresAreSexGods.
* SomethingElseAlsoRises: That pen in D'Ampton's dream. Of course, the entire movie is just gleefully raunchy and there's a ''ton'' of unabashedly sexual symbolism around.
* TheVamp: Lady Marsh... in more ways than one.
* VirginSacrifice: The D'Ampton Worm prefers this.
* WeaksauceWeakness: A vampire's natural enemy is the mongoose. It coincides with the snake motif, sure. And yeah, the mongoose ends up getting killed anyway but... still a little silly.
** Also, playing the bagpipes puts them in a trance briefly. [[spoiler:Unless they have earplugs, of course.]]