-->''A lost city... A cult of unholy warriors... And a boy's quest for the secret of his father's death.''
-->-- The tagline

-->''"'I'm Rowsdower. Zap Rowsdower.'"''

-->''"You know what? You lose me straight away when your movie's protagonist is named 'Zap Rowsdower'. The second I hear him identified as 'Zap Rowsdower' I am squeezing past you and climbing over your legs and muttering "excuse me" and I am getting the hell out of the movie. Only this time I couldn't because I was at work and I'm hourly and I had used up all my vacation and sick time. How about Plink Holmgren? Or Pow Flowhauer?"''
-->-- '''Mary Jo Pehl'''

''The Final Sacrifice'' is a noble but doomed attempt to film an old-fashioned adventure film in rural Canada with [[NoBudget an ultra-low budget]] (around $1500) and an inexperienced cast and director. It is best known from [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S09E10TheFinalSacrifice its appearance]] on ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000''.

Ruled by the evil Satoris, an ancient cult of [[{{Mooks}} Canadian wrestlers]] is bent on world domination. Instrumental to their plan is a map to the ancient [[{{Precursors}} Ziox]] cult idol, recently discovered by a young boy, Troy [=McGreggor=]. When the cult [[CallToAdventure invades his home to recover the map]], he flees and ends up in the bed of a passing pickup truck, driven by the film's DesignatedHero--a burly, surly Randy Bachman-lookalike hilariously named [[AwesomeMcCoolname Zap Rowsdower]]. At first Rowsdower considers turning Troy over to the police, but after Troy helps him to fix his broken-down truck and Rowsdower helps Troy escape from the cult leaders again, he decides to let Troy stay with him. Rowsdower and Troy become friends and together search for the [[MacGuffin lost idol]] before the cult can claim it and take over the world.

The map leads Troy, and eventually Rowsdower, all over Alberta, through some unlikely caves, and finally to the unkempt shack of a hairy, grizzled fugitive by the name of Mike Pipper. Pipper was a partner of Troy's father; he has been hiding in the woods from Satoris for seven years (who never found him, even though it took Troy and Zap a few days at most). Pipper reveals that the cultists are the last descendants of the Ziox, an ancient culture whose civilization was destroyed by their god after they turned away from it and worshiped an evil idol instead. According to Pipper the Ziox built a [[{{Atlantis}} great city]] that was more advanced than "anything the ancient Egyptians or Romans ever knew", but their god sank the city in a yearlong rainstorm.

Eventually, Troy is captured by Satoris and his cult. Satoris means to make Troy the titular final sacrifice, which will give him an army of invincible zombie warriors. It's up to Rowsdower to save Troy and put an end to the cult's activities.

[[SimilarlyNamedWorks Not to be confused with]] ''Film/ChildrenOfTheCornIITheFinalSacrifice.''

Contrast with the films of Creator/DavidCronenberg and Creator/AtomEgoyan, both of whom make ''good'' Canadian movies.

''MysteryScienceTheater3000'' episode recap [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S09E10TheFinalSacrifice here]].

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!!''The Final Sacrifice'' contains examples of:

* AcheyScars: Rowsdower's tattoo.
* AdventurerArchaeologist: Troy, although he ranks as the wussiest one ever.
* TheAlcoholic: Rowsdower. His empty beer bottles and flask do come in handy.
* AliensInCardiff: Eagle Hat is the center of the Ziox civilization.
* TheAllegedCar: The Rowsdower-mobile, which apparently needs hard liquor to start it up.
* ATeamFiring: Throughout the film, most notably during a long car chase in which the villains spray the truck with bullets and yet fail to hit either of the truck's occupants. In another example, Rowsdower fires a shotgun at two cultists at near point-blank range and ''misses''.
* {{Atlantis}}: It turns out the city was sunk because the Ziox worshiped a cheap mock up idol.
* TheAtoner: Rowsdower is a former member of Satoris' cult.
* AwesomeMcCoolname[=/=]FailOSuckyname: In this case, Zap Rowsdower is a name so stupid that, thanks to the riffs, it became ''awesome.''
** In the credits, the name "Kelly Zombor" is listed. The bots made sure to emphasize '''ZOMBOR'''... ''kelly'' '''ZOMBOR'''.
*** HilariousInHindsight: Kelly Zombor (actually a ''male'' boom operator!) went on to work for a lot of big Hollywood movies after "The Final Sacrifice." Not particularly ''good'' ones in some cases, but he sure has made a living!
* BadAss: We're clearly supposed to buy Rowsdower as one, but... not really seeing it. Maybe if he did anything impressive or cool, like, ever, yeah, but as it is...
** He does fight his way through the entirety of Satoris's army throughout the film though. Granted even the ultimate dweeb that is Troy managed to knock one out at the beginning, but fighting ones way through an army of mad (and heavily armed) cultists despite being nothing but a chunky, be-mulleted drunk is no mean feat.
* BadassLongcoat: Satoris has one. The badass part is debatable.
* BigBad: Satoris.
* BondJamesBond: "The name's Rowsdower. ''Zap'' Rowsdower."
* CatapultNightmare: Rowsdower has an unnecessarily dramatic yell after having a nightmare about getting his cult sign burned into his arm.
* {{Catchphrase}}: ''Zap Rowsdower!''
* ChewingTheScenery: Satoris gets a lot of these.
* CoversAlwaysLie: [[http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X8f6M57wv3g/T5X-USDnT5I/AAAAAAAABBw/ccfJDV4WWsc/s1600/final+sacrifice.jpg This]] was the cover for the US release of the film. There are no swords in this movie, and those two guys on the cover look nothing like either of the two actual leads.
* CrucifiedHeroShot: Attempted with Rowsdower when he has a nightmare about when he was first inducted into the cult. The cult members tie him to a cruciform to brand him, and this for some reason causes [[FauxSymbolism his wrist to bleed]].
* {{Cult}}[=/=]ReligionOfEvil: The goal of this particular religion is to raise an army of zombies to TakeOverTheWorld.
* DisappearedDad: Killed by the cult in the beginning of the film.
* EightiesHair: Zap Rowsdower's mullet. Satoris had one at the start of the film as well, before trading it in for a slick feather job.
* EvenEvilHasLovedOnes: Satoris wears a wedding ring throughout the entire movie, though it's never mentioned.
* EvilSoundsDeep: Satoris. Just hearing him say "Zap Rowsdower!" just makes that name all the more funny.
* FanNickname: Garth Vader, for Satoris.
* FiveManBand: Only three protagonists, but they fill the roles surprisingly well.
** TheHero: Rowsdower/Troy.
** TheLancer: Rowsdower/Troy.
** TheBigGuy: Rowsdower.
** TheSmartGuy: Pipper/Troy.
** TheChick: Troy.
** SixthRanger: Pipper.
* GoodScarsEvilScars: Rowsdower's tattoo
* GrumpyOldMan: Mike Pipper turned into one of these over time.
* TheGuardsMustBeCrazy
* HealItWithBooze: Rowsdower pours a drink on a branded mark.
* HumanSacrifice: Well, it's part of the title.
* TheDrifter: Zap, Canada's [[strike: worst]] [[strike: greatest]] worst action hero.
* TheHero: It's debatable who's the hero here. The insufferable, useless wimp or the doughy, unlikeable asshole, hmm...
** Rowsdower does way more heroic stuff than Troy; it's even debatable as to whether Troy was responsible for setting right what went wrong.
* ImprovisedWeapon: During his final confrontation with Satoris (who's wielding a torch), Rowsdower uses a grappling hook. No, not on a rope. There just happened to be an abandoned grappling hook nearby, which Rowsdower uses as a cudgel.
** Meanwhile, Troy, in what is probably his first and only useful act, picks up the perfectly serviceable ''rifle'' from the exact same area.
* InherentlyFunnyWords: '''Rowsdower!'''
** A close second is "Mike Pipper".
* LargeHam: Satoris loves to munch on the scenery and talk like [[strike:Garth]] Darth Vader.
* TheLostWoods: Expect to see a ''lot'' of forest. The movie probably couldn't afford anything else...
* LowSpeedChase: Toward the end of the movie, the Ziox mooks chase Rowsdower up a hill. But the hill they're climbing happens to be ''incredibly steep'', so they all run up the hill slowly.
* MacGuffin: The map to the idol....which is eventually rendered pointless when Satoris just torches it from a distance anyway for no reason.
* MagneticPlotDevice: The map to the idol.
* MalevolentMaskedMen[=/=]{{Mooks}}: The black clad wrestlers.
* MyGreatestFailure: Rowsdower's unsuccessful attempt to save Troy's father—[[VillainsDyinggrace Satoris left him alive afterward just so his failure would continue to torment him.]]
* {{Nerd}}: Troy may just be the best example. ''Constantly'' [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] during the MST3K episode.
* OldShame: Averted, at least for Bruce Mitchell a.k.a. Rowsdower. To this day he's a great sport about acting in this flick—even though neither he nor the rest of the cast received any compensation for the job—and doesn't consider any of his previous work a total waste (although we have a suspicion that Mitchell isn't returning Tjardus Greidanus's calls anymore).
** In an interview on the DVD release, Mitchell admits to never having seen the entire [=MST3K=] version of this film. Would one of our fellow [=MSTies=] to the north please do something ''aboot'' that?
* OlderSidekick: Rowsdower has the indignity of being the sidekick to a 97 pound weakling.
* OrdinaryHighSchoolStudent: Troy's pretty much ordinary other than the wrestlers coming after him.
** An ordinary high school student should have more muscle mass than that.
*** Not if he is in Chess Club.
* {{Precursors}}: Ziox.
* StockUnsolvedMysteries: Troy finds a folder labeled "Lemon Mine" among his father's things. The Lost Lemon Mine is an [[http://www.thelemonproject.ca/?page_id=13 urban legend]] about a supposed gold mine reputed to be somewhere in Alberta.
* TellMeAboutMyFather
* TitleDrop: Failed.
-->'''Satoris:''' You will be the last sacrifice! The last one...
* TooDumbToLive: During the car chase, cultists [[PlotArmor fail to shoot at Rowsdower]] while he's setting up Molotov cocktails. Furthermore, when they're sent off road down a very gentle grade, they fail to attempt to brake or steer.
** The shot before seems to imply that the cultist was reloading. Though that does mean he took over 90 seconds to reload his M16...
* UnexplainedRecovery: Rowsdower is run down and struck on foot by a truck driven by the cultists chasing him. He lies motionless, then the next shot shows Rowsdower up and running with no ill effect. Or pursuers for that matter.
* UnfortunateNames: Rowsdower and also the movie's director, Tjardus Greidanus.
* UnnecessaryCombatRoll: One of the cultists, when they attack the house.
* VocalDissonance: Satoris sounds like a cross between Darth Vader and Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: Aunt Betty inexplicably has a British accent.
** Many Canadians actually do; a number of British people have emigrated to Canada over the years.
* YouKilledMyFather: Troy is led to believe that Rowsdower killed his father and loses faith in him. Eventually it's revealed that Rowsdower actually tried to prevent the death. Of course, since Satoris would have given the order, he's still the figure that gets the lion's share of the blame anyway.
* WhyDontYaJustShootHim: Satoris, after initially subduing Rowsdower and keeping him at bay by having every one of his goons pointing rifles at him... asks two of his minions to leave and kill him, thus providing Rowsdower with plenty of opportunity to escape. As opposed to just shooting him *right there* when he was helpless.
** Particularly heinous in that Satoris tells the minions "Take him out to the woods and kill him." Telling them this as they're holding him right there in the middle of the woods, and no reason whatsoever that the spot they were at was any worse to execute someone than another patch of woods 100 yards west.
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[[TheStinger Rowsdower!]]
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