[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/FVK_9497.jpg]]
-->''Oy vey, have you got the wrong vampire.''

''The Fearless Vampire Killers, [[EitherOrTitle or: Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are in My Neck]]'' (universally known in countries outside America as ''Dance of the Vampires'') is a 1967 horror comedy film from director Creator/RomanPolanski (who also starred and cowrote the screenplay), which gives a good-natured ribbing to vampire movies, particularly those in the HammerHorror tradition. It is today perhaps best known as the inspiration for ''Theatre/TanzDerVampire'', a ScreenToStageAdaptation that is extremely popular in Europe, as well as for being the film which introduced Polanski to his future wife, Sharon Tate, and in turn, being a FunnyAneurysmMoment.

The eminent ([[SmallNameBigEgo in his own mind, at least]]) vampire expert Professor Abronsius (Jack [=MacGowran=]) and his bumbling assistant Alfred (Polanski) arrive in a small Transylvanian village to track down and kill a nest of vampires that they believe are lurking nearby. Stopping to rest at a local inn, they become convinced that they are on the right track, both by the presence of garlic adorning every available surface, and by the reluctance of the innkeeper Shagal (Alfie Bass) to discuss the location of the local castle.

As Professor Abronsius spends his days surreptitiously searching for clues, Alfred meets and falls head-over-heels for Shagal's beautiful daughter Sarah (Tate). He is not the only one who notices her, however, and soon the lord of the local vampire coven, the elegant Count von Krolock (Ferdy Mayne), abducts her to his castle. When Shagal attempts to keep the interlopers out of the matter and rescue his daughter himself, he is quickly turned into a vampire himself. It therefore falls to our two heroes to travel to Castle von Krolock, rescue the fair Sarah, and put the curse of the undead to rest once and for all.
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!!Provides examples of the following tropes:

* AbhorrentAdmirer: Alfred sees Herbert, the Count's son, this way.
* AbsentMindedProfessor: Abronsius is easily distracted by books, bats, and discoursing on how great a scholar he is.
* AffablyEvil: Count von Krolock
* AndThenJohnWasAZombie: [[spoiler: Sarah transforms into a vampire at the end]].
* AristocratsAreEvil: Shagal appears to be the only "commoner" vampire.
* TheBadGuyWins: Unintentionally,[[spoiler: Krolock only meant to have Sarah join his legion of undead within the castle, meaning she would just be another victim. He succeeds on that front but ultimately lost Sarah when Alfred and Abronsius escape. However that only means the curse of vampirism has spread beyond his castle which wasn't his intention.]]
* TheBlindLeadingTheBlind: Alfred hangs on Abronsius' every word, and doesn't seem to realize that he's more than a bit incompetent.
* BlondGuysAreEvil: Herbert is the only blond man in the film.
* BreakingAndBloodsucking: Krolock captures Sarah this way by coming in through the window roof of the bathroom she's in. As she's taking a bath and naked, she can't run leaving her in a perfect position for Krolock to bite her.
* CensorSuds: When Alfred encounters Sarah in the bath.
* ClassicalMovieVampire: Count von Krolock.
* DepravedHomosexual: Let's just say that Herbert is interested in sucking more than just Alfred's blood.
* DirtyOldMan: Shagal.
* DistractedByTheSexy: A constant problem for Alfred.
* DistressedDamsel: Sarah, though she never seems aware of the danger she is in or shows any desire to be rescued.
* FailureHero: Both Abronsius and Alfred show to be terribly incompetent and useless hunters, so that [[spoiler: not they only fail in killing any of the vampires, but end up helping in spread the vampirism to the rest of the world by bringing a vampirized Sarah with them.]]
* FanService: Sharon Tate in a bathtub. Yikes.
* FantasticReligiousWeirdness: Crucifixes ward off vampires ... but only Christian ones.
* GlamourFailure: Vampires do not show up in mirrors. This becomes important in the ballroom scene.
* HauntedCastle: Practically ''de rigeur'', isn't it?
* HeroesWantRedheads: Alfred and Sarah.
* TheIgor: Alfred is a rare heroic version.
* InnocentFanserviceGirl: Sarah.
* KnowNothingKnowItAll: Professor Abronsius' advice is singularly unhelpful at just about every stage of the film.
* LogoJoke: Leo the [[MetroGoldwynMayer MGM]] lion morphs into an animated [[LooksLikeOrlok Orlokian vampire]], whose fangs drip blood that trickles down past the scrolling credits.
* LoveAtFirstSight: Alfred's reaction to Sarah, and Herbert's reaction to Alfred.
* MatzoFever: Alfred, for the beautiful red-headed Jewess Sarah.
* NiceJobBreakingItHero: [[spoiler:The fearless vampire killers unwittingly bring a vampire back to civilization, where it can spread the curse and continue the supernatural evil of vamprisim]].
* NonindicativeName: While Abronsius is indeed fearless, Alfred is scared as hell, and both aren't effective in killing vampires.
* OurVampiresAreDifferent: Actually, they've got every one of the classic traits. Vampires sleep in coffins, only go out at night, and do not appear in mirrors. They can be warded off with garlic and religious symbols (apparently only the religious symbols they believe in). Theoretically, at least, they can be killed with a stake through the heart, but the protagonists never get a chance to test that idea.
* TheProfessor: Professor Abronsius likes to think he is this.
* TheRenfield: Koukol.
* ScreenToStageAdaptation: Became the popular European musical ''Theatre/TanzDerVampire'' (and, allegedly, the much less popular American version, ''Dance of the Vampires'').
* ShiksaGoddess: Shagal for his blonde serving wench, though anything would be preferable to his wife.
* SlidingScaleOfComedyAndHorror
* TheyCalledMeMad: Professor Abronsius' vampire obsession eventually got him fired from his post at Königsberg University, where his colleagues dubbed him "The Nut."
* TwistEnding: [[spoiler:Sarah has already become a vampire, and turns Alfred as Professor Abronsius unknowingly takes them to Vienna.]] Doubles as a DownerEnding [[InferredHolocaust and a]] CruelTwistEnding.
* {{Uberwald}}: Transylvania gets this treatment, natch.
* VampireBitesSuck
* VampireDance: The climax occurs during the vampires' annual ball.
* VampireHunter: What does it say in the title?
* VampireVords: The Count talks like this, but Herbert, oddly, does not.
* VampiresAreRich: Shagal appears to be the only lower class vampire.
* TheVirus: Vampirism.
* TheVonTropeFamily: von Krolock
* YiddishAsASecondLanguage: Shagal, the innkeeper.
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