->''"All the action. All the women. Half the intelligence."''
-->-- '''Tagline'''

''Spy Hard'' (1996) is an action-comedy movie that marked the film debuts of Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg, spoofing spy and other action films. Creator/LeslieNielsen stars as [[Film/JamesBond Dick Steele]], Agent WD-40, opposite Nicolette Sheridan as his partner [[FemmeFatale Veronique Ukrinsky]], Agent 3.14, as the two try to stop the evil genius, General Rancor (AndyGriffith), from taking over the world.

The film was clearly aiming for the Zucker-Abrams-Zucker style of RapidFireComedy, but fell short and probably suffered from comparisons to the still-recent ''Film/TheNakedGun'' films, the last of which was released just two years before this flick. Still, it has its moments; and it's ''Film/CitizenKane'' compared to the movies that Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg would go on to direct themselves. This makes a lot more sense when you consider it was Jason Friedberg's dad, ''Rick'' Friedberg, who both directed and wrote the final screenplay, proving the old adage that talent tends to skip a generation. (Not saying ol' Rick was a movie genius either).

!!This movie contains examples of:

* AcronymAndAbbreviationOverload: Steele, to Agent 3.14:
--> '''Steele''': You carry a UB-21 Schnauzer with a Gnab silencer. That's KGB. You prefer an H&K over an A.K. Your surveillance technique is NSA. Your ID is CIA. You received your Ph.D. at NYU. Traded in your GTO for a BMV. You listen to [=CDs=] by [[Music/{{REM}} R.E.M.]] and Music/{{S|toneTemplePilots}}TP. And you'd like to see J.F.K. in his [=BVDs=], getting down with O.P.P. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And you probably put the toilet paper back on the roll with the paper on the inside.]]
* ActionGirl: Agent 3.14. She effortlessly beats up three goons threatening Steele and in the climax almost single handely defeats Rancor's guards while Steele focuses on Rancor himself.
* AnArmAndALeg: General Rancor lost both his arms after his previous run-in with Agent Dick Steele, but has had various prosphetic replacements constructed. After Steele ties Rancor to his own missile in the climax, he loses his legs as well.
* AwesomeMcCoolname: Nielsen's secret agent is named Dick Steele.
* BigBad: General Rancor.
* BigStupidDoodooHead: WD-40 to the villain in the climax: "Let me tell you what being patriotic really means, you scumbag poop."
* BlindDriving: The bus driver played by Music/RayCharles. Yes, the blind dude. {{Inverted|Trope}} in that he's actually pretty good (when the brakes work, at least). It's implied he isn't really blind, since he compliments Ukrinsky on her dress.
* TheCameo: Creator/MrT, Music/RayCharles, Pat Morita, HulkHogan and many, many others.
* CardCarryingVillain: It's only visible in the background, but Rancor Industries has "Commited to Evil" as its company motto.
* CreditsGag: While he's singing the title song, Music/WeirdAlYankovic interacts with the credit captions a couple of times; he bats the movie title away, and does a double-take at his own credit when it appears.
%%* DamselInDistress: Barbara Dahl.
* DisposablePilot: Creator/MrT plays one of these in the opening sequence.
* DramaticSpaceDrifting: Parodied when General Rancor is launched into space aboard his rocket, and then floats around until he slams into an Apollo-type spacecraft, prompting a voiceover of "Houston, we have a problem".
* DrivesLikeCrazy: Kabul is far worse- Ray Charles is blind; Kabul doesn't even ''look'' the first time he and Steel meet. Shortly after, he runs over a womans foot...then asks for her phone-number, like he did it on ''purpose''. He later takes his hands off the wheel of an ambulance.
%%* EvenTheSubtitlerIsStumped
* EyePoke: Used against Dick Steele. He blocks successfully but he's punched out immediately after anyway.
%%* FauxActionGirl: Barbara Dahl.
* FeetFirstIntroduction: Parodied. When Dick first meets Agent 3.14, the camera pans up what you think is her legs, but is actually a huge billboard of some random woman's legs.
* {{Flashback}}:
** Steele has one about Victoria Dahl, which consists of a parody of ''Film/ButchCassidyAndTheSundanceKid''. Later, Steele tries to have another flashback but The Director cuts it short: "We don't have time for flashbacks."
** Steele has a flashback of the first time he met an agent with whom he is speaking: less than thirty seconds earlier.
* FullMoonSilhouette: Executed during the ''Film/{{Speed}}'' parody, during the bus jump.
* GoofyPrintUnderwear: On the poster.
* HollywoodSilencer: The bad guys use a pillow to silence the ''machine gun'' they are using to execute a [[AcceptableTarget mime]].
* HomeAloneAntics: {{Averted|Trope}}: A bunch of secret agents chasing a CaptainErsatz of [[Film/HomeAlone Kevin McAllister]] through a house simply evade and defuse all of the traps.
* ImColdSoCold: Parodied when Steele rescues 3.14 from the nunnery; at one point a bunch of ice lands on 3.14 and she remarks that she's so cold. Instead of the obvious, Steele assumes that the people who kidnapped her did horrible things to her:
--> '''Steele''': What have they done to you? They'll pay for this.
* InnerMonologueConversation: A seductress responds vocally to Dick's InnerMonologue.
* {{Jerkass}}: General Rancor. Agent Coleman, and Robert Culp as the obnoxious businessman on the plane.
* JunglesSoundLikeKookaburras: Parodied. As a spy sneaks into a secret base in a Caribbean jungle, a bunch of jungle sounds can be heard, including the kookaburra call. Then the camera moves to the side a little, where we see that a guard is making all these sounds, while reading from a book: ''The Cries of Common Jungle Animals''.
* LargeHam: Andy Griffith as General Rancor, and how.
* LeftTheBackgroundMusicOn: [[DaChief The Chief]] is talking, while facing the camera, about how horrible it will be if General Rancor succeeds in his master plan, while a violin is playing in the background. He then gets annoyed and turns around to yell at the violinist standing to the side.
* LiteralCliffhanger: Spoofed when Steele first defeats General Rancor, when his love interest Barbara Dahl is hanging from a cliff. Not only does Steele's sleeve rip, revealing a ridiculously muscular arm, but it stretches [[CartoonPhysics like they're in a cartoon]]. She falls into the ocean to her death, performing a swan dive.
* LockAndLoadMontage: Parodied. The heroes get jumped by enemy mooks mid-montage.
* MadeOfExplodium: Music/WeirdAlYankovic's head, after holding the final note of the title theme for about two minutes. Possibly a [[ActorAllusion Musician Allusion]] to Music/TomJones- obviously a parody of ''Film/{{Thunderball}}'', but may be a reference to the fact that Tom Jones actually ''passed out'' when holding that famous last note.
* MasterOfDisguise: [[DaChief The Chief]] disguises himself as all sorts of furniture throughout his office- he calls it "the ancient art of Origatze".
* MsFanservice: Agent 3.14 spends the entire film running around in very short, tight skirts and minidresses. While Steele is looking at her crucially important pendant he becomes distracted by her... upper chest area.
* NeonSignHideout: The villian's headquarters has a clearly marked "Intruder Entrance" sign on one of their doors, and it isn't SchmuckBait either, it's actually pointing out to intruders the best place for them to enter.
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: "[=McClatchey=]" is clearly supposed to be a stand-in for Macaulay Culkin.
** AndThisIsFor: The bad guys even hit him for the bad movies Culkin did.
--> "I wasn't even in Film/MyGirl 2!"
--> ({{beat}}) "We don't care!"
** Not so with HulkHogan, who fares poorly in the fight and has to tag in Dr. Joyce Brothers, a media psychologist who wrote for Good Housekeeping. She does significantly better.
%%* NoisyNature: Parodied.
* NunTooHoly: ... but they will {{m|oreDakka}}ake ''you'' hole-y.
* PungeonMaster: General Rancor, who is missing both his arms and has various prosphetic replacements.
--> "Arm me!"
* RealityIsUnrealistic: That note that Weird Al sings that was edited to last for a ridiculously long amount of time? Nope. That was the plan, but Al found out he really could hold the note out that long.
* RedAndWhiteComedyPoster
* RedundantParody:
** Partial example with the spoof sequence of ''Film/TrueLies'', given that that was ''itself'' a comedic and near-parodic take on spy action films- though, to be fair, it was much, much more of an Action film than this movie.
** Similarly, there is a parody of the already absurd scene from ''Film/PulpFiction'' where JohnTravolta and UmaThurman dance [[Series/{{Batman}} the Batusi]]. It's no more ridiculous than the original.
** Don't forget the ''Film/SisterAct'' spoof, another film that was already a comedy.
** The running gag from ''Get Smart'' of Agent 13 taking cover in something absurd is "parodied" here.
** Basically {{Foreshadowing}} of Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg's later films. They never do seem to know if the movie they're spoofing was a drama, or an actual comedy.
* RunningGag: A jogger is frequently injured during the film. Also the guy who keeps getting hit in the chest with arrows and knives.
* SexySecretary: Miss Cheevus, who constantly flirts with Dick Steele.
%%* ShesGotLegs: Parodied.
%%** Played straight with Barbara Dahl.
* SpiritualSuccessor: To ''Film/TheNakedGun'' films.
%%* SpySpeak
* StrappedToABomb: The film plays this for laughs, as the film was a spoof type film. The villain ties up the captured lady agent to the bomb.
* StrappedToARocket: General Rancor's eventual fate.
* SuicidalGotcha: Steele escapes by jumping off a roof, only to appear again in a Harrier jump-jet, scaring off the pursuers. It is then revealed to be a prop being lifted by a helicopter for a billboard.
%%* TakeMyHand
* TakeThat: After the thugs capture the CaptainErsatz of [[Film/HomeAlone Kevin McAllister]] and the Professor Ukrinsky, they decide to take the time to torture the former, by hitting his head off of stairs, one for all the movies they didn't like, that starred Macaulay Culkin at the time.
--> '''Thug 1:''' This is for Film/GettingEvenWithDad.
--> '''Thug 2:''' And this is for Film/MyGirl
--> '''Thug 1:''' And this is for [[{{Sequelitis}} My Girl 2]]
--> '''Mcluckey:''' [[NotMeThisTime I wasn't even in My Girl 2.]]
--> '''Both Thugs:'''' WE DON'T CARE!!!!
%%* TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat
* TechnologyMarchesOn: InUniverse as the native islander uses a cell phone to inform the general that Steele had been spotted on the island.
* ThisPageWillSelfDestruct: Steele leaves the tape recorder in the helicopter that he was being flown in, causing it to explode.
%%* WaferThinMint
%%* ViewersAreGoldfish: Parodied.
* YourHeadASplode: "Weird Al" Yankovic, hitting the high note of doom in the opening credits.