[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/shootemup-p.jpg]]

!!!If you were looking for the VideoGame genre, go [[ShootEmUp here]].

A.K.A ''[[FanNickname Guns: The Movie]]''

->''I'm a British nanny, and I'm dangerous.''

Eighty-six minutes of Creator/CliveOwen and Creator/PaulGiamatti shooting at each other over a baby.

Oh, you want a bit more than that? All right, we'll give it a shot...

Mr. Smith (Owen) is waiting for a bus, when he decides to follow a gunman, who is following a pregnant woman with murderous intent. He kills the gunman and his fellow {{Mooks}}, saving the newborn, but not the mother. The Mooks' boss, Mr. Hertz (Giamatti) continues the attempted infanticide at every stop. Smith enlists a lactating hooker (Creator/MonicaBellucci) to take care of the baby, who Mr. Smith names Oliver, while Smith fights Hertz and tries to find out who wants the baby dead and why.

No, really.

The film exists to show gunfights in every conceivable situation, from high-speed chases to [[CoitusUninterruptus mid-sex]] to mid-''skydiving''. Heck, it might as well be called ''Guns: The Movie'' because that's really the main focus of the film. The plot is secondary to [[AffectionateParody meta-humor]] and ''really'' over-the-top action sequences. No, we mean '''''really''''' over-the-top. RogerEbert commented: "''I may disapprove of a movie for [[WillingSuspensionOfDisbelief going too far]], and yet have a sneaky regard for a movie that goes [[CrossesTheLineTwice much, much farther than merely too far.]]''" By one count, Smith kills over one hundred and twenty people over the course of the film.

Not to be confused with ShootEmUps, the video game genre. Although they do have a lot in common.
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!!The film provides examples of:
* ActionHero: Mr. Smith, who can not only kill a man with just a carrot [[spoiler:but also shoot someone with a literal handful of bullets ''with no gun'' via '''fireplace.''' With his hand broken.]]
* ADateWithRosiePalms: "What were you doing in there?" "Cleaning my gun." "...Oh, really?" The man in question is polishing his gun for most of the film. Literally, though.
** In the commentary track, it is suggested that the reason he's always cleaning his gun is because he uses it for... stuff. [[{{Squick}} Yeah, non-gun-related activities.]]
* AffablyEvil: Hertz. He honestly seems more amused by Smith than anything else at first, although that changes as the film progresses.
* ArtisticLicensePhysics: As the Series/MythBusters proved, shooting the merry-go-round like that would not get it to move as depicted in the film. Given that this movie runs on RuleOfCool, it can be forgiven.
* AssholeVictim: Of a sort. When Smith and DQ need a car, Smith isn't particularly concerned that he has to steal a car, nor which car he picks. Then he sees an expensive one illegally parked in a handicap zone and immediately picks that one.
* AwesomenessByAnalysis: Hertz is a former FBI profiler. According to his minions: "He doesn't guess -- he sees things we don't."
** [[spoiler:Forensic behavior consultant. My god, how many times do I have to tell you guys? Details make all the difference in this business.]]
* BadAss: If we have to tell you, we're going to slap you.
* BadassBystander: What kicks off the entire plot.
* BadassLongcoat: Smith's. Despite being hobo-ish, he manages to pull it off.
* BadBoss: Hertz is probably one of the worst ever as he maims and kills his own men just for the hell of it.
* BadassAndChildDuo: Which leads to a whole lot of BadassAndBaby carrying while in fights.
* BerserkButton: A number of things can trigger this response in Mr. Smith. For example, when he steals a car for parking in the handicapped zone, or runs another car off the road for repeatedly changing lanes without a signal, as well as littering. Basically everyday annoyances that usually only merit a gripe or two from normal people trigger sociopathic rage in Mr. Smith. [[HeroicComedicSociopath And we love him for it]].
* BizarreAndImprobableBallistics: The ending takes this to a new level -- [[spoiler:a robber hides behind cover, so Smith shoots the robber's partner several times -- first in the leg (causing him to fall down), then in the arm (causing his gun to point at the hiding robber), then in the wrist (causing him to fire). Keep in mind that Smith's fingers are broken at the time, so he pulls the trigger by putting a carrot in the trigger guard and slapping the back of the gun with his other hand.]]
** [[spoiler:Actually, TruthInTelevision, there is a nerve in the arm and wrist makes it twitch in the general direction done in the movie. But [[ImprobableAimingSkills hitting it]] on purpose is next to nil Unless you're Smith.]]
* BondOneLiner: Makes up a good 60-70% of Smith's lines.
* BoobyTrap: Smith rigs up automatic weapons in Hammerson's gun warehouse to fire when he pulls cords attached to the triggers, aiming them via OminousMultipleScreens. CameraAbuse occurs with the last mook to get shot.
* BrokenAesop: A movie that celebrates gun violence has a [[UsefulNotes/AmericanGunPolitics pro-gun control]] message. According to the DVD commentary, this was not an attempt at a SpoofAesop, but was simply in keeping with the overall gun theme. All the problems and solutions of the film directly relate to guns. Recite the mantra.
-->'''Hertz:''' Guns don't kill people. But they sure help!
* BulletProofVest: If Smith bothered throwing in a headshot or two for good measure, it would have been Bye Bye Hertz at the whorehouse (although Hertz was still knocked out cold and did not recover until the heroes got some head start out of there). Also DQ believes a bullet proof vest to be a better investment than a crib for the baby in light of their recent predicament.
** And if Hertz had kept his vest on, he would have won his final shootout with Smith.
* CacophonyCoverUp: Presumably why the BabyFactory was established on top of a heavy metal rock club.
* CanineCompanion: Duchess becomes one to Smith at the end of the movie.
* CarFu: Smith's temporary road rampage, and [[spoiler:feinting throwing Oliver to bait Hertz. And the vault into the van to kill a van full of mooks.]]
* CatchPhrase: Parodied. Smith steals Bugs Bunny's, and Hertz promptly steals Elmer Fudd's.
** There's also "[[PreAssKickingOneLiner You know what I hate?]]"
* CharacterFilibuster: Smith often goes off on a rant about minor things he hates. DQ makes fun of him for it.
* ChekhovsGag: "Your trigger finger is all the safety you really need." In that case, poor Smith will have to improvise by the time the movie's over.
* ChekhovsGunman: [[spoiler:Senator Rutledge appears on TV while Smith is checking channels in his slum.]]
* ChildrenRaiseYou
* CoitusUninterruptus: Smith guns down a few mooks in the process of having sex with Donna. [[BondOneLiner "Talk about shooting your load."]]
* CountingBullets: When Hertz is torturing Donna, he shoots to heat up the barrel of his gun. When Smith comes in to save her Hertz points his gun at him, and Smith notes that he's hasn't got anything left. Hertz however has been counting the rounds Smith has fired up to now, so he knows Smith is out too.
* CompensatingForSomething: Hammerson's lecture on America being a place where "[[OnlyInAmerica a poor man can become rich, and a pussy can become a tough guy]] -- ''if'' he's got a gun in his hand." It's notable that Hertz has the biggest pistol in the movie.
** Shown with PhallicWeapon symbolism when Hertz tortures Doona with the hot barrel of his Desert Eagle.
* CorruptCorporateExecutive: Hammerson.
* [[spoiler:CorruptPolitician: Senator Rutledge sells out to the gun lobby. Though he makes up for it in RedemptionEqualsDeath.]]
* CripplingTheCompetition: Hertz tortures Smith by breaking his trigger fingers and then threatens to cut his eyes out. This ends very badly for Hertz.
* CynicismCatalyst: [[spoiler:According to Hertz, Smith's wife and child were killed in a restaurant by a rampaging gunman, using weapons he bought in Smith's gunshop.]]
* DarkAndTroubledPast:
** Smith -- there's a few hints dropped, and Hertz believes he knows what it is, but Smith never confirms it.
** DQ explains hers as she's indulging in a bit of WhatTheHellHero:
--->'''DQ''': You bring me this child so I can feed him, take care of him, a baby that can be dead at any moment. And you never even think to ask me what happened to my own child.
* {{Determinator}}: Most obviously shown when Smith [[spoiler: takes down the BigBad and TheDragon, ''after they break all his fingers, with nothing more than five bullets set off by fire.'']]
* DeadpanSnarker: Smith and Hertz. Smith is more deadpan and Hertz is more snarky.
* DisposableWoman: Oliver's mother starts out as a DamselInDistress and is killed off minutes later so that the importance of her baby can remain a mystery.
* DisproportionateRetribution: Smith rams a guy off the road for driving aggressively without signaling. What really tips him off is the driver littering soon after. But keeping with the tone of the movie, Donna lampshades it: "You are the angriest man in the ''world''!"
* DoubleEntendre: "That's a six-shooter. I just counted six shots. You've blown your load." In a whorehouse, no less.
** Don't forget the end of the scene : "Nothing like [[ItMakesSenseInContext a good handjob]]".
* DragonInChief: Although Hammerson is the mastermind, his enforcer Hertz gets the most screentime.
* DramaticDrop: DQ's serving trays when Smith reunites with her, though it's implied she does this deliberately.
* DyingTruce: [[spoiler:At the very end, when Smith and Hertz are both nearly dead, Smith lets Hertz answer his cellphone as he walks away. The truce breaks, though, and both of them attempt one final shot to really kill each other off.]]
* EstablishingCharacterMoment: Hertz braces his gun on a wounded mook's chest, then shoots the man when his breathing disturbs his aim. When Smith takes the gun off him a moment later, he exchanges calm GunpointBanter, [[spoiler:then reveals his Desert Eagle will only fire with his thumbprint]].
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: Is it ever.
* ExcuseMeWhileIMultitask: Mr. Smith enters a gunfight [[CoitusUninterruptus while continuing to have sex with DQ]].
* EyeScream: Mr. Smith's carrots are good for his eyesight, but not for one Secret Service mook.
** Hertz's driver also gets a scalpel in the eye from Smith.
* FailsafeFailure: Thumbprint scanners on all of Hertz's guns. Smith simply [[BorrowedBiometricBypass hacks off a mook's hand]] and points the gun with it.
* FamousLastWords: Subverted. [[spoiler:Smith tells the Strawman liberal politician how his (the politician's) death will create the sympathy needed for his gun control legislation to pass. When the politician starts to speak in resigned, but dignified agreement, he is KilledMidSentence.]]
* FauxAffablyEvil: Hertz is a husband and father, and has a remarkably unexceptional home life that bleeds into his ruthless thuggery.
* FourEyesZeroSoul: Hertz.
* {{Fingore}}: Hertz' torture, followed by attempted EyeScream.
* FlippingTheBird: Not a good idea [[{{Fingore}} in this movie]].
* FrontlineGeneral
-->'''Mook:''' Don't you think you should hang back, sir?
-->'''Hertz:''' The leader who stays in the rear, takes it in the rear. Besides...violence is one of the most fun things to watch.
* GenreSavvy: Mr. Smith seems to know about typical action movie tropes, and actively takes steps to avoid them (see HaveYouToldAnyoneElse). Hertz is also quite savvy:
-->'''Minion''': We got fifty guys.
-->'''Hertz''': Well, that'll have to be enough.
* GunFu: The entire movie is made of this.
* GunPorn: This is the type of movie where the protagonist shows off his good parenting skills by teaching ''gun safety to a baby''. Bizarrely subverted by the anti-gun message later on in the film, though.
* GunsAndGunplayTropes: Pick one; it's probably in here. Not that that should surprise anyone.
* GunsDoNotWorkThatWay: Apart from the obvious RuleOfCool examples, the CountingBullets scene doesn't match the actual guns being used by either Hertz or Smith.
* GroinAttack:
** Played for laughs with the male version (the Marilyn Manson wannabe with the cock ring.) Played for drama and squick with the female version [[spoiler:(when Hertz is about to burn DQ's vulva with his hot gun barrel).]]
** Smith at one point shoots a Mook in the crotch, causing a rather fantastic spray of blood.
* HairTriggerTemper: Smith and we love him for it.
* HaveYouToldAnyoneElse: Discussed and subverted. Smith calls NBC, ABC, CBS, The Post, The Times, and the FBI to come check out [[spoiler: an illicit baby bone marrow harvesting laboratory]], because he hates it when a hero calls only one person and ends up betrayed by that one person. Unfortunately, [[spoiler:the Lone Man uses his connections to make sure it stays out of the press]].
* HelicopterBlender: [[spoiler:the fate of the Lone Man.]]
* HeroesLoveDogs: One of the few things Smith ''does'' like.
** The BigBad has a dog he's openly fond of too. [[spoiler:This turns out to be a ChekhovsGun -- Smith realises the senator has changed sides when he sees dog hair on his trousers, and realises he's met with the villain.]] Subverted when Hammerson is shown [[TaxidermyIsCreepy stuffing his dog's predecessor]].
-->'''Hammerson:''' Don't worry Duchess, this ain't going to happen to you. Not for a few years anyway. ''(Duchess whimpers)''
* HookerWithAHeartOfGold: DQ who, to protect baby Oliver, will [[spoiler: give a John a blowjob to buy him a bulletproof vest.]] Smith quips, "I hate to think what you'd do to get him into the right school."
* HighAltitudeBattle: And it's awesome.
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: Hertz might have won the final shootout if he hadn't had such a big and heavy gun to try and aim and fire while critically wounded.
* HypocriticalHumor: After Hertz [[spoiler:discovers the "Oliver" he ''ran over in the street'' is just a baby doll hooked up to a recording]], he flips out and yells, "Oh my God, that is twisted. That sick son of a bitch!"
* ILoveTheDead: Hertz gropes the bare-breasted corpse of Oliver's mother, though he at least looks ashamed of himself immediately afterwards. It does give him a EurekaMoment when he realises Smith has to ensure Oliver is fed.
* ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy : Like the rest of this movie it's cranked up to 11 - ''and that's if they're able to fire at all.'' Lampshaded when Go-To-Guy claims he was only trying to scare Smith into surrendering. Smith snarks back that it explains why he's such a lousy shot.
* ImprobableAimingSkills: Starting from being able to precisely hit a Merry-Go-Round's bars to make it spin faster. The finale is this: [[spoiler:manipulating a robber's arm to point at and fire at his co-robber behind cover.]]
* InfantImmortality: Do we need to tell you? Averted for the two other babies.
* InterplayOfSexAndViolence: The mid-coitus gunfight.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Smith, who is willing to protect a baby (and a mother) he doesn't even know and is genuinely concerned about the prostitute.
-->[when asked if there's anything he doesn't hate by the LoveInterest] I don't hate you.
* JustKeepDriving: Smith runs a guy off the road for the unforgivable act of cutting him off without using a blinker. Oh, and littering.
* KilledMidSentence: [[spoiler:Senator Rutledge.]]
* KnightInSourArmour: Smith again.
* LampshadeHanging: "[[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy Do we really suck]], or ''[[ImprobableAimingSkills is he really that good]]''?"
* LandInTheSaddle: The modern version.
* LargeHam: With a varying degree, everyone but the baby is a LargeHam. However, Mr. Hertz trumps them all. [[RunningGag And we love him for it.]]
* LaserGuidedKarma: Gun merchant Hammerson is (of course) shot with his own gun.
-->'''Smith:''' [[BondOneLiner Aren't guns just fucking great, Hammerson?]]
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Hertz is good at these "Violence is one of the most fun things to watch."
* LiteralAssKicking: Done by Hertz to a henchman near the beginning of the film. [[BadBoss After getting shot in the bum.]]
* LogoJoke: The sprocket holes in the New Line Cinema logo appear to the sound of gunshots.
* MadeOfPlasticine:
** In several scenes, Smith kills people using ''carrots''.
** [[spoiler:The last shot blows a hole in Hertz's chest, lungs and all visible.]]
* MadlibsCatchphrase: Do you know what I hate? [Something relevant to the situation]
* MeaningfulRename: "Smith" is both a [[MrSmith generic pseudonym]] as well as a reference to the character's former career as a gunsmith. It also recalls the popular brand Smith & Wesson. The name reflects the character's desire and inability to forget his tragic past.
* MoreDakka: From semi-auto pistols. Somehow. The animation during the end credits gives new meaning to the phrase "a hail of bullets."
* MundaneMadeAwesome: The film's first shot is an extreme close-up of Smith's face, with dramatic music, as he eats a carrot.
* MsFanservice: Monica Bellucci as DQ is quite the epitome of this trope.
* MrSmith: Smith is obviously not the hero's real name; the BigBad even lampshades him as TheManWithNoName who rides into town on a WhiteStallion. Hertz thinks he's worked out [[MysteriousPast who Smith is]], but isn't completely sure right up to the end.
* NeutralFemale: Monica Bellucci's character. The mother in the opening doesn't count because, realistically, you wouldn't ''expect'' her to do any fighting, and because the whole movie happens because ''she's'' the one who first opens fire on the goons sent to kill her. Oh, and she dies.
* NoNameGiven: Many of the supporting characters are simply identified by descriptive names in the credits despite their screentime or importance: The Baby's Mother, The Lone Man, Hertz's Driver, etc. The most bizarre is one {{Mook}} identified as "[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Man Who Rides Shotgun]]."
* NotSoAboveItAll: Hertz resolving not to lose his temper, quoting the Discovery Channel on how anger lowers your IQ. Needless to say, he gets [[VillainousBreakdown increasingly livid as the movie wears on]].
* OfCorsetsSexy: Donna spends most of the movie in one.
* OneManArmy: Smith dispatches a whole battalion of Mooks [[spoiler:by setting up an intricate system of rope-aimed, rope ''fired'' guns. As far as the Mooks are concerned, he's everywhere at once.]]
** Throughout the whole movie, he kills almost ''a hundred and fifty guys''.
* PetTheDog: Done straight up with Hammerson, who's openly fond of his Alsatian, and subverted with Smith -- who'll shoot a man because he has a ponytail, but refuses to shoot a tracker dog because he likes dogs. [[spoiler: He even adopts the aforementioned Alsatian after killing Hammerson.]] But Smith's best PetTheDog moment is when he starts showing affection for the baby ([[ItIsDehumanizing which he previously referred to as 'it']]) by ''teaching him the proper way to handle a firearm safely''. Awww...
** This, of course, triggers Donna's ''he'd-make-a-good-father-so-now-I-want-to-have-sex-with-him'' hormones.
** Hertz's affection for his [[MoralityPet off-screen son and wife]].
* PlatonicProstitution: Hiring a lactating prostitute to take care of a newborn baby.
* PreAssKickingOneLiner: If you cause Smith to ask someone if they know what he hates, make your peace with God '''IMMEDIATELY.'''
* PrettyInMink: Donna's purple fur coat.
* PrettyLittleHeadshots: Oliver's mother, who is pretty and got a neat little hole in her head, apparently so we wouldn't realize she was dead immediately. [[spoiler: Averted for the entire rest of the movie.]]
* PropheticName: DQ winds up as a waitress at Dairy Queen.
* PutTheLaughterInSlaughter: Hertz, a screaming tornado of beard and teeth.
* RatedMForManly
* RefugeInAudacity: The entire MO of the movie, along with RuleOfCool.
* RubeGoldbergDevice: In order to get into the AbandonedWarehouse he's using as a home, Smith takes a rat out of a cage, removes a brick from the wall and pushes the rat inside. The rat runs down a tunnel into a wire basket on a pulley which drops from the weight, pushing down a latch to open the door.
* RuleOfCool: Pretty much the entire point of the film, and meta-humor. Given how over-the-top it is... it actually ''works''.
* RightHandAttackDog: Duchess seems this way, but is a subversion.
* SerialEscalation: When the first gunfight has Smith use leaked oil to turn himself into a sledding death machine, you know how often this trope's gonna be used.
* ScreamingBirth: Justified when you've got a shootout taking place all around you, including hot cartridge cases dropping onto your belly. It doesn't help when the man helping with the delivery elects to cut the umbilical cord with a point-blank gunshot.
* SoapOperaDisease: Senator Rutledge.
* ShotInTheAss: One mook gets it twice, once from Smith and [[YouHaveFailedMe the other from Hertz for cocking up]].
* ShoutOut:
** The whole film is a series of hyper-violent yet comedic encounters between [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes a protagonist who constantly eats carrots, and his hunter, a balding antagonist]] whose ringtone is "[[WesternAnimation/WhatsOperaDoc The Ride of the Valkyries]]". Made explicit in one scene:
-->'''Smith:''' What's up, Doc? ''(bites carrot)''\\
'''Hertz:''' You are a wascally wabbit.
** The whole film was (admitted by the director) based on the scene from the end of ''Film/HardBoiled'' where Tequila runs around the hospital with a baby, shooting a unending stream of {{mook}}s.
* SignsOfDisrepair:
** Smith shoots out a "Faulk Truck & Tool" sign in the opening gunfight to read, "FUK U," while saying, "Fuck you, you [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment fucking fuckers]]!" The camera pans to show the word "TOOL" next to it, and Hertz shoots out the L to have it read, "FUK U TOO", responding with, "Tit for tat."
** A later scene halfway through the film has a thrown gun shoot off most of the numbers on an "XDaysSince" sign at a gun factory, leaving only 0 out of over 1,000 days.
* StairwellChase: Subverted -- more like "stairwell turkey shoot".
* StealthPun: Monica Belluci's character (a lactating prostitute) is named/nicknamed DQ - the initials are for her real name Donna Quintana. That, and [[spoiler: Dairy Queen.]]
* StrawmanPolitical: The liberal politician [[spoiler:thinks he's destined for the White House, will do anything to get there (including inflicting horrible pain on babies), and sells out his beliefs to save his own life. To be slightly fair, the Conservative strawman is going to kill him painfully if he doesn't loosen up his gun laws.]] The conservative strawman does bad things with great relish, and monologues about how guns are great because they let cowards feel powerful. So one strawman's a little more overstuffed than the other.
* TheStoic:
** Smith, usually. Even when ranting about stuff that pisses him off. The Lone Man, as well, even as his men drop like flies and he flings himself out of a plane to attempt to kill Smith.
** Hertz spends a fair chunk of the movie as one, too, lampshading it with the explanation that getting mad causes a reduction in IQ, something he can't afford. All this, of course, just makes his eventual blow-up in the warehouse all the more hilarious:
-->'''Hertz:''' '''GOD''''''''DAMMIT,''''' '''SMITH!!!'''
* TakeThat: The very first gun that Smith uses in the movie, a Walther PPK, jams, and he calls it a "piece of crap." Clive Owen, the actor who plays Smith, was briefly considered to play Film/JamesBond in ''Film/CasinoRoyale''. Bond's signature weapon is a Walther PPK.
* TankGoodness: Smith puts Donna and the baby inside an M24 Chaffee in a museum.
-->"You'll be safe from gunfire and most explosives."
* ToyotaTripwire: Smith uses a car door to take out a machine-gun-toting mook hanging out of the side of a van.
* TestosteronePoisoning: This film takes everything that's awesome about GunPorn and ramps it up to [[RefugeInAudacity ridiculous levels]].
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Smith likes his carrots, and his first kill in the movie? Via carrot.
* UsefulNotes/GunSafety: Smith knows you can never learn 'em too young.
* UseYourHead: Hertz is about to poke out Smith's eye with a scalpel -- Smith headbutts him in the face, getting the scalpel through his forehead but missing his eye. He then yanks out the scalpel and impales Hertz's mooks.
* VillainousBreakdown: Hertz. As his patience wears out, his temper began to get the better of him.
* [[HeroicResolve Villianous Resolve]]: Hertz is a grade A asshole, but he pulls himself up off the floor after taking !four! bullets in the chest, an obviously critical wound, and stands up for the final showdown with Smith.
* VisualGag: Smith exclaims "Shit!" when he has a EurekaMoment; on seeing Senator Rutlidge in the newspaper Oliver has been using as a diaper.
* WallBangHer: Smith does this to DQ while killing the mercenaries.
* WalkingTransplant: Rutledge inseminating multiple women in order to mine the bone marrow from babies.
* WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer: Smith uses his gun to do just about everything, from shooting villains to delivering babies.
* WithThisRing: Smith slips the triggerguard of a pistol over DQ's finger with obvious symbolism.
* WeNeedADistraction: Donna needs to slip inside the tank, so Smith promises a distraction. He sees a woman striking her child so he proceeds to spank her.
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