-> ''"Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in 150+ movies, Podcast/RiffTrax has nothing to say."''
-->-- '''Rifftrax''''s reaction to this movie.

''Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny'' is a 1972 Christmas film directed by Barry Mahon and R. Winer that aired as a weekend afternoon kiddie matinee. It stars Jay Clark as SantaClaus [[AmateurCast and "Kids" from Ruth Foreman's Pied Piper Playhouse]].

Actually, no, that description doesn't nearly do it justice.

It's actually a complete and utter MindScrew from start to finish. Standard movie-watching logic does not apply to this film. In fact, any attempt to apply basic storytelling logic to the film will probably give you an aneurysm. It ignores every basic dramatic convention. The final episode of ''Series/ThePrisoner'' was less of a MindScrew than this movie (Same goes for ''[[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion End of Evangelion]]'' as well). To say that the movie feels like a fever dream, or Creator/DavidLynch attempting to make the most surreal kids movie ever made is an understatement.

Santa and his sleigh are stranded on a beach somewhere in Florida in inch-deep sand, his reindeer having flown back to the North Pole to cool off. Several kids (including [[Literature/TheAdventuresOfTomSawyer Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn]]) try to help him out with a variety of farm animals (and a guy dressed in a gorilla suit!), but to no avail. Just when all hope is given up, Santa is reminded of the story of "Literature/{{Thumbelina}}", upon which the film sidetracks the Santa Claus story to focus on Thumbelina. The eponymous Ice Cream Bunny doesn't show up to help Santa until the very end, where the two drive off in his old fire truck.

Did we mention that the "Thumbelina" segment is actually a ''longer'' and entirely different film, complete with its own opening and closing credits left intact? Yep, Santa's story to the children includes detailed descriptions of who the executive producer was. By now you should start to understand why this film is basically a LogicBomb for humans.

The "Thumbelina" segment was shot at the long-defunct Pirates World theme park in Florida in 1970, and stars Shay Garner as the title character. It is a re-telling of said story done in the style of a museum exhibit, complete with models of the sets. [[NestedStory So, that makes the theme park itself a Framing Device, too!]]

Oddly enough, depending on where the film was shown, certain prints replaced the Thumbelina segment with one based on "Literature/JackAndTheBeanstalk", also shot at Pirates World, with Mitchell Poulos as the boy hero. This was no improvement, especially as the Giant (Renato Boracherro) offered such lines as, "Wife, bring me my creepy-crawlies! Mmmm-mmmmmm!". There was no FramingDevice in ''Jack'', unlike ''Thumbelina'' having the main actress gazing with DullSurprise at a series of dioramas.

Barry Mahon, one of the directors, was actually a fugitive from the true story of ''Film/TheGreatEscape''. What did ThoseWackyNazis ''do'' to him that caused him to make ''this''?

Read Website/TheAgonyBooth's recap [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Santa_and_the_Ice_Cream_Bunny_1972.aspx here]]. Also available as a Podcast/RiffTrax [[http://www.rifftrax.com/ondemand/santa-and-ice-cream-bunny video download.]] The Christmas 2015 Rifftrax Live show is the Jack and the Beanstalk ("It's [[PoorMansSubstitute Discount]] [[Series/TheBradyBunch Greg Brady!]]") version. The film was also the subject of Episode 51 of the ''{{Podcast/Tranquil Tirades}}'' podcast.
!!''Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny'' contains examples of:

* AllMythsAreTrue: In addition to Santa and a fill-in for the Easter Bunny, Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn are real people.
* AmateurCast: The kids are actually billed as "'Kids' from Ruth Foreman's Pied Piper Playhouse". (That's not a typo: "Kids" is in quotation marks in the credits.)
* ApatheticCitizens: When the Elves learn that the Reindeer have returned but Santa hasn't, rather than do anything about it, they just get back to work. Not even some kind of investigation or magical communication device, or anything?
* BlatantLies: The poster advertises this film as being "all new" and promises an "exciting rescue" by the Ice Cream Bunny, when in fact only about a third of the film is made up of new footage, and the "rescue" involves the Ice Cream Bunny giving Santa a ride home in his fire truck.
* BrokenAesop: Before and after the Thumbelina story, Santa repeatedly tells the kids they must never, ever give up...right after he's ''repeatedly'' given up trying to move the sleigh and swears up and down that nothing will work. Most glaringly, he gives up after trying to dig the sleigh out himself even though it's ''working'' (he clears about half of one of the runners in less than a minute).
* CanineCompanion: Rebel the dog.
* DeusExMachina: It's strongly implied that the Bunny ''drives'' Santa to the North Pole on his fire truck. Santa's sled teleports back to the North Pole as a failsafe, should it and Santa ever be separated. (Of course, there's no explanation why that failsafe can't be implemented while Santa is ''in'' the sled.)
* FilmingForEasyDub: Possibly the single worst example ever committed to film. It was obviously shot silent to keep the (non-existent) budget even lower and the dialogue was looped in later, and they kept the shots of the actors' mouths moving to a minimum. Like ''Film/TheBeastOfYuccaFlats'', but much worse. Yes, this film sailed below the standards set by ''Creator/ColemanFrancis''.
* ForcedMeme: It's obviously trying to promote the Ice Cream Bunny as a new lovable character for children, but it's not clear if the bunny was a pre-existing character from Pirates World or was a new character created for the film.
* FramingDevice: The whole bit with Santa was just one of these for "Literature/{{Thumbelina}}", along with the theme park for said segment.
* GainaxEnding[=/=]NoEnding: The film doesn't end. It just sort of stops.
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar: In one scene if you turn up the volume you can hear Santa mutter "damn it" under his breath.
* GreekChorus: [[Literature/TheAdventuresOfTomSawyer Tom and Huck]] are this [[TropesAreTools in theory]], as they sit in the bushes and observe the action from the outside. They don't actually contribute anything worthwhile to the story.
* HeatWave: "It's so ''hot!''"
* InformedAttribute: We're told that Rebel is a smart dog, which might be a bit easier to believe if he didn't drink out of muddy puddles and nearly get run over ''three times'' during the climatic "rescue" scene.
* InsistentTerminology: Santa doesn't let you forget about the '''predicament''' he's in.
* JumpCut: Rebel gets out of the path of the fire truck via a really bad edit (presumably cutting out someone running into the shot to physically move the dog).
* LastEpisodeNewCharacter: The Ice Cream Bunny doesn't appear until the climax to rescue Santa.
* LensFlare: Used a few times in shots of the sun to illustrate Santa's complaints about how hot it is.
* MindScrew: To say that the movie has a tendency to be random, bizarre and nonsensical is an understatement.
* {{Mondegreen}}: Santa calling out "Kim!" is often misheard as "Kid!"
* NestedStory: The "Thumbelina" short...which even has its own ''credits''. [[MindScrew Which in turn]] has a nested story of "Thumbelina" in with a story of a girl going to Pirates World. The "Jack and the Beanstalk" version is less so, since that film didn't have a kid going to Pirates World.
* NeverTrustATitle: The titular Ice Cream Bunny doesn't show up until the last five minutes of the movie, and the majority of the movie is the "Thumbelina" story (or "Jack and the Beanstalk", depending on what version you're watching).
* NoNameGiven: While summoning the kids, Santa calls each one out by name, except for the three girls jumping rope, to whom he simply calls out, "Girls!"
* NonIndicativeName: As pointed out below, no explanation is given for why he's called the Ice Cream Bunny. He's not made of ice cream, nor is he shown handing out or eating ice cream. The filmmakers seem to have assumed that the Ice Cream Bunny was so well known that, like Santa, he required no introduction. This is apparent when Santa's reaction to seeing him come to the rescue is "The Ice Cream Bunny! Of course!"
* OneBookAuthor: The only known directorial credit for the mysterious R. Winer, though some Google sleuthing suggests he might be [[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0934871/ this guy]], who was based in South Florida.
* OnlyInFlorida: Where else could a film like this be made? Or take place?
* OutOfCharacter: Instead of being [[Literature/TwasTheNightBeforeChristmas "chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf"]], this Santa is a rather skinny DramaQueen who spends most of the film whining.
* OutOfGenreExperience: From Santa's sleigh predicament to a cheap theme park adaptation of "Thumbelina".
* ThePiratesWhoDontDoAnything: The Ice Cream Bunny supplies no ice cream whatsoever.
* ProductPlacement: For Pirates World theme park. The internal evidence suggests this film was created to double-dip off pre-existing movies previously funded by the park's owners for the kiddie matinée circuit.
** If you sense desperation, it's because Disney opened [[Ride/DisneyThemeParks Walt Disney World]] the year before. A year after the film was released, Pirates World was bankrupt. By 1975, the place was closed. Not long after, the park was razed and condos built in its place.
* PublicDomainCharacter: Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, who serve no purpose to the plot other than extra {{Padding}}. It also stars SantaClaus who gets stuck in Florida.
* RememberTheNewGuy: "My old friend, the Ice Cream Bunny!"
* SavingChristmas: Santa is stuck in Florida, and according to the calendar he presents at the end of the film, there are only five days until Christmas.
* ScareQuotes: ''Starring JAY CLARK as SANTA, and "KIDS" from RUTH FOREMAN'S PIED PIPER PLAYHOUSE'', implying that whoever did the opening titles was skeptical of their ages or acting ability.
* SerialEscalation: ''[[InvertedTrope Inverted]]'', and then generally played with oddly. The very first animal brought in to try and move the sleigh is a gorilla (suit-wearing man), followed by a mule, a pig, and then a sheep...[[OverlyLongGag then a cow...]]
* StockFootage: One of the elves peers outside the workshop to view a clip of some reindeer on a ''green'' landscape of the North Pole.
-->'''[[Podcast/RiffTrax Mike Nelson]]''': Crap, it's July! We missed Christmas!
* StopTrick: The sleigh's disappearance at the end of the film.
* ThoseTwoGuys: Tom and Huck, who were just paddling around in a lake when they hear the commotion of the kids being summoned by Santa. They swim to shore and run after the group, then spend the rest of the movie standing behind a bush watching everything unfold without getting involved.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: During the climax, the Ice Cream Bunny drives through the Pirates World theme park, and the people at the park pay no mind to an anthropomorphic rabbit driving through in an antique fire truck carrying kids and a dog.
* ViewersAreMorons: As the AgonyBooth review says "Like most other terrible children’s films, the filmmakers seem to think that simply because the movie is for kids, they have to pretend like they’re making it for retards. Every actor speaks as slowly as possible, enunciating every word as if they’re talking to people who don’t speak English. All the characters take longer than [[AcceptablePoliticalTargets George W. Bush to string a sentence together]], and [[LargeHam deliver the most obvious emoting you’ll see outside of a Sally Struthers infomercial]]."
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: When they came to watch all the action after leave the raft, Tom and Huck are accompanied by a racoon with a leash, like it was the pet of them. The last we see of this critter is that's running very fast, to never been seen again.

!!The "Thumbelina" adaptation contains examples of:

* AdaptationSpeciesChange: The field mouse from the original story becomes a female mole, presumably so she could have her own happy ending with Mr. Digger.
* AmusementParkOfDoom: That steeplechase ride near the beginning and end -- No safety belts, plenty of sudden turns, and dangerously fast. Have fun, kiddies!
* AndYouWereThere: Tom Thumb is played by the same actor as the young girl's boyfriend?
* BeautyIsNeverTarnished: Thumbelina's dress never gets messed up, even during many months spent in the outdoors. Her hair is always flawlessly combed.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: When Thumbelina is lost in the woods, she starts singing, "Fiddle-dee-dee!" She explains through the song that it's her way to cope with frightening situations, and advises to "give it a try and you’ll agree".
** The frog, apparently alone, explains his entire back story while looking directly at the camera (probably, it's hard to tell since his eyes are part of a mask). One can only assume he's speaking to the audience.
* DelayedNarratorIntroduction: The narrator from the drive thru-looking speaker in the exhibit throughout the film is actually Mrs. Mole, who lets Thumbelina into her home during the winter.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: The witch certainly needs to reiterate the price of her services after singing about it for five minutes!
* DullSurprise: Thumbelina, who reacts to everything as though she's been drugged and isn't sure if what she's seeing is real or not.
* FourthDateMarriage: Thumbelina protests marrying a frog and Mr. Digger because they've only known each other for a day, but then has no problem with immediately marrying Tom Thumb. Sure, there's species to consider, but species is barely even brought up. Her main reason for agreeing to marry Tom Thumb seems to be that he wasn't as pushy as her other suitors.
* FramingDevice: ''Thumbelina'' tacks on ''another'' framing device of the main actress gazing at dioramas while the ragged loudspeaker narrates.
* HappilyEverAfter
* IWantSong: Thumbelina's "Flower Child" song, in which she expresses her desire to enjoy the outside world which her marriage to Mr. Digger will deny her.
* MayDecemberRomance: In the loosest sense of "romance" possible. Mr. Digger convinces Thumbelina that it would be in her best interests to marry him, and she goes along with it for a while. Her main concern is that he's old. The fact that he's a mole doesn't seem to enter into it.
** She does express concern that in marrying him, she'll have to remain underground and never see the sun again.
* MindScrew: Given the {{Acting For Two}} above, you've got to wonder if the girl listening to the story is hearing her own voice whenever Thumbelina talks.
* NestedStory
* PairTheSpares: After Thumbelina doesn't go through with marrying Mr. Digger, he settles on Mrs. Mole instead.
* [[RecapEpisode Recap Film]]: Utilized in the ending for some reason other than more padding.
* ShesGotLegs: Besides going braless, Shay Garner's ParentService also involves plenty of leg. She wears a miniskirt in the amusement park scenes and her Thumbelina skirt stops way short of her knees.
* ShowDontTell: [[AvertedTrope Averted]], as crucial story moments are skipped over [[{{Infodump}} and described by the narrator or characters]].
* StockFootage: Whenever the film is going to describe something that would too expensive to film, it cuts to the girl at the exhibit listening and tilting her head.
* SuppressedMammaries: Inverted. It's incredibly obvious that Shay Garner is not wearing a bra.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: Thumbelina's Mother explains that she'll see the Witch, to bring her a little girl, in a manner as casual as saying that she's going to the Market, to pick up some milk!
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: It's never stated what happened to Thumbelina's mother after her kidnapping. The last we see of her, she's grieving over the kidnapping of her daughter.

!! The ''Literature/JackAndTheBeanstalk'' adaptation contains examples of:
* EasilyForgiven: [[spoiler:Honest John cons several townsfolk out of money, but he's still invited to join the crown in the final song without any comeuppance. Especially odd since the previous scene in the town was his victims comparing notes and organizing a lynch mob.]]
* FridgeLogic: InUniverse, one of Honest John's customers asks why he's selling magic beans for so cheap if they're able to help people get rich.[[note]]Oddly enough she fails to even ask why ''he'' isn't using them to get rich.[[/note]]
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: The giant hits his head against his own trap and knocks himself out after spotting Jack running away with the magic harp.
* HonestJohnsDealership: The cow/bean salesman literally goes by the name Honest John.
* KarmaHoudini: Honest John gets no punishment for being a unrepentant con man.
* NoIndoorVoice: The giant.
* SpotlightStealingSquad: The giant is such a LargeHam that he ends up being the most memorable character.
* {{Squick}}: InUniverse, the giant's wife loses her appetite upon watching the giant eat "creepy crawlies."
* TimeSkip: It's implied that Jack's trips to the giant's castle take far longer than portrayed. Jack's sister even apparently got married during his final ascent.