''Rustlers' Rhapsody'' is a 1985 parody of old B-Westerns, in which the hero Rex O'Herlihan the Singing Cowboy rides his wonder-horse Wildfire into yet another small frontier town to dispense a dose of non-lethal justice to the local CattleBaron. Only this time, reality finally catches up with Rex, and things do not go entirely as planned...

A fun good-natured little flick, particularly enjoyable for fans of old-time Westerns.

!!Contains examples of:

* AccidentalAimingSkills: Rex tries to teach Peter how to light his cigarette by shooting the tip. Nervously, Peter cocks the revolver and fires ... only to shoot Rex's ''hat'' off his head.
** In the climactic gunfight, Rex has been wounded in his shooting arm, and his nemesis Bob is about to finish him off. Rex raises his gun, fires, and:
--->'''Peter:''' Rex, you shot him in the ''head''! How do you feel about that?
--->'''Rex:''' ''[weakly]'' I missed his hand.
** Alternatively, [[spoiler:Rex had just found out Bob [[EvilLawyerJoke was a lawyer]], and could have fibbed a little about missing Bob's hand...]]
* AffablyEvil
* AffectionateParody
* AudibleGleam
* BadassLongcoat: Lampshaded by the narrator, who is envious of the guys in spaghetti westerns because "they all got to wear those great raincoats, even when it was 110 in the shade."
* BattleInterruptingShout: Averted - Rex shouts until the gunfight stops, only to realize that it stopped because everyone had already shot each other.
* BeautyIsNeverTarnished: The cattle baron's daughter is dragged behind a galloping horse for miles. This results in not one bruise, broken bone, or scratch, just a single smudge on her face for the hero to [[IndirectKiss clean off]].
* TheBlacksmith / IntrepidReporter / {{Schoolmarm}}: All mentioned [[LampshadeHanging at one point]], but none of them [[TheGhost actually appear in the film]].
* BlastingItOutOfTheirHands: This is the only way Rex ever shoots at anyone. [[spoiler:Except for the one time he misses his opponent's hand. Good thing [[EvilLawyerJoke it was a lawyer]] he shot.]]
* BoringInvincibleHero: Subverted. Like most B-Western heroes, Rex seems, and believes himself to be, invincible, yet in this town the villains have a new trick up their sleeve.
* CattleBaron: Though as the film explicitly points out, you never actually see any of his cattle, just hear some mooing in the background.
* CelibateHero: Rex. Until he finds out that the Good Cowboy has to be a ''Confident'' Heterosexual, which he has to resolve before the final shootout.
* CoolHorse: "I wish ''my'' horse could do that!"
* ContractualGenreBlindness: Rex.
* DangerouslyGenreSavvy: The villains figure out that, as villains, they must subvert the standard formula to have any chance of winning. Since the good guys always win, they hire ''themselves'' a good guy to stand against the hero.
* DelayedNarratorIntroduction: "Now this is the story of the day when a most wonderful thing happened to Rex. He met me."
* DrinkOrder: Rex tries to order a glass of milk, prompting stares from the bartender and the patrons. After changing his order a few times, he determines that this is one of those "tough bars", and orders, "A glass of warm gin served with a human hair in it." The other patrons go back to what they were doing.
* EvilLawyerJoke
* GenreSavvy: Rex has been through the standard B-western plot so many times he knows exactly what's going to happen. This time it's different because the villains get GenreSavvy too.
* GroinAttack: When Rex teaches Peter how to be a sidekick, one of the lessons is "jumping out of a second story window onto your horse".
* HaveAGayOldTime: "Throw Another Faggot On The Fire"
* HookerWithAHeartOfGold: So golden, she doesn't actually have sex with anyone. She just talks dirty to them. [[spoiler: Until Rex "gets better" at the end of the film..]]
* IJustShotMarvinInTheFace: When the two {{Mooks}} and Blackie confront Rex in the saloon at the beginning, [[spoiler: the {{Mooks}} don't bother checking if Blackie is in their line of fire before they draw and shoot.]]
* ILikeThoseOdds: Four {{Mook}}s stroll into Rex's camp in the middle of the night. Just to be semi-fair, Rex only uses [[WillfullyWeak one gun]].
* ImprobableAimingSkills: Not only can Rex consistently [[BlastingItOutOfTheirHands shoot the guns out of their hands]], he can do so from 100 yards away, shooting casually from the hip while mounted.
* InTheBack: Blackie's mooks accidentially shoot him in the back.
* LandInTheSaddle: This is part of Peter's sidekick training.
* AManIsNotAVirgin: Rex's AchillesHeel.
* ParodySue: Rex, naturally.
* RailroadBaron
* RomanceInducingSmudge: Spoofed where the cattle baron's daughter has been dragged behind her horse for hours. When Rex rescues her, she has [[BeautyIsNeverTarnished only a tiny smudge on her cheek to show for it]], which Rex tenderly wipes away.
* SeenItAll: How Rex O'Herlahan knows the future. The same thing keeps happening over and over again in every town he visits.
-->'''Rex:''' All these western towns are the same.\\
'''Pete:''' Oh no! Oakwood Estates is unique!\\
'''Rex:''' Is the Matron a pretty but somehow asexual schoolmarm?\\
'''Pete:''' Yeah, but--\\
'''Rex:''' Is the Blacksmith a big jolly guy who only gets mad when his barn burns down?\\
'''Pete:''' Yeah...\\
'''Rex:''' Is the newspaper run by an idealistic young journalist who's hawked everything to buy his press?\\
'''Pete:''' Damn! ''[beat]'' Oh, wait! I know one thing this town has that the others don't! None of the other towns have--\\
'''Rex:''' The railroad coming through?\\
'''Pete:''' ''[flabbergasted]'' ''All western towns have the railroad coming through?!''
* SexAsRiteOfPassage
* TechnicalPacifist: Rex only shoots villains in the hand.
* TookALevelInBadass: Rex, after he takes care of becoming a Confident Heterosexual, and has a [[ItsPersonal "This time, it's personal!"]] moment.
* UnlimitedWardrobe: Rex; he has a good-sized wagon for storing all his outfits.
* WhatADrag: Happens to the CattleBaron's daughter.
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