[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Joan_Wilder_6080.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350: [[{{Tagline}} She's a girl from the big city. He's a reckless soldier of fortune. For a fabulous treasure,]] TheyFightCrime... uh, make that, [[{{Tagline}} they share an adventure no one could imagine... or survive]].]]
->'''Jack Colton''': "Wait a minute, he's after you? Who the hell are you?"
->'''Joan Wilder''': "Well, I'm a romance novelist."
->'''Jack Colton''': "You're what? What are you doing here?"
->'''Joan Wilder''': "I told you, my sister's life depends on me."
->'''Jack Colton''': "Ah, don't give me that shit. I thought you were donating a kidney or something."

An AffectionateParody of romantic adventures that also qualifies as an example of the genre. This film was made in 1984 and stars Kathleen Turner, Creator/MichaelDouglas, and Creator/DannyDeVito.

Kathleen Turner plays Joan Wilder, a successful author of mass-market romance novels -- she has a very long-running series centered around the heroine Angelina and her love interest Jesse. Unfortunately, success in her career doesn't translate to success in her love life. Even her publisher chides her on her unrealistic expectations, and accuses her of waiting around for a Jesse of her own.

Her life changes when a mysterious package arrives in her mail. The return address lists her brother-in-law, who was recently found hacked into little pieces in Colombia. Joan then receives a phone call from her sister, who's being held hostage. Her kidnappers are looking for a very specific map, one that used to belong her husband. Opening the package, Joan finds the map's now in her possession, and the kidnappers will kill her sister unless she delivers it to them. In Colombia.

Unfortunately for Joan, her knowledge of the locale is limited, to say the least. She starts her adventure by boarding the wrong bus on the advice of a not-so-friendly local. It turns out, the kidnappers aren't the only ones interested in her treasure map. Her troubles worsen when her bus crashes, thrusting her right into the path of a mysterious stranger. Little does she know he's the man of her dreams.

[[HilarityEnsues Adventure ensues.]]

The first commercially successful film in the Creator/RobertZemeckis canon. Diane Thomas, the movie's screenwriter, was famously discovered by Michael Douglas working as a waitress. After ''Stone'' she seemed on the verge of a great career, before [[AuthorExistenceFailure dying tragically in a car accident just a year later]]. Thus this became [[OneBookAuthor the only film she ever wrote]]. There's now a screenwriting award named in her honor.

A sequel called ''The Jewel Of The Nile'' was also released. Zemeckis was not involved, as he was busy at the time with a little film called ''Film/BackToTheFuture'', nor was Thomas, although she was still living when it went into production (she's one of the people the movie's dedicated to). Turner, Douglas, and [=DeVito=] all returned, however.
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!!This film provides examples of:

* AdrenalineMakeover: Joan begins the movie mousy and stiff with a perpetual sloppy hair bun. By the time she returns from Colombia, she's changed her whole look, starting with literally letting her hair down.
* ActionSurvivor
* AdventurerArchaeologist: Jack Colton. Actually he's more like "adventurer".
** Though Joan's [[MenAreTheExpendableGender brother in law]] was one such without the luck IndianaJones has.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking - From the opening scene:
-->That was the end of Grogan... the man who killed my father, raped and murdered my sister, burned my ranch, shot my dog, and stole my Bible!
** ValuesDissonance: Granted, in some periods and cultures someone's Bible was often a ''huge'' deal. Especially if it's a family Bible.
* {{Badass}}: Jack Colton and Zolo.
* BilingualBonus: Ralph calls his cousin Ira "maricon", which is Spanish slur roughly translated as "faggot."
* BlatantLies: Ira's promises that he would never hurt Ralph because "they're the same person" and [[ItsAllAboutMe "I'd never hurt me!"]], and especially his promise at the end to send the boat back "very soon". [[MookFaceTurn It's no wonder Ralph turns on him]].
* BumblingSidekick: Ralph. Would be a ButtMonkey if he weren't so contemptible as to deserve almost everything that happens to him.
* CatScare: When Joan returns to her apartment and finds it vandalized, her pet cat Romeo startles her by jumping out at her
* CallBack: At the beginning of the film, the villain of the book Joan is writing tells the heroine, "You can die two ways: quick like the tongue of a snake, or slower than molasses in January." During the film's climax, Zolo poses a similar question: "How will you die, [[spoiler: Joan Wilder]]? Slow, like... a snail? Or fast, like a shooting star?"
* CatchPhrase: Ira's "Look at those snappers!"
* ChekhovsGun: When Joan is getting ready to rush off to Colombia, her publisher Gloria mentions, amongst a list of terrible traits to be found amongst the locals, that there are a lot of "macho men" there [[InsultFriendlyFire who love her books]]. Later, [[spoiler:what looks like a tense gunpoint scene turns into a chance to procure a valuable ally, just because [[ContrivedCoincidence it turns out]] that Juan the drug-runner is [[ImYourBiggestFan Joan's biggest fan]], ''and'' reads her novels to his {{mooks}}, who are fans too]].
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Ira (Look at those snappers!) to a degree, but most definitely Juan, the drug-runner and [[spoiler: Joan's Biggest Fan]].
* ContrivedCoincidence: All over the place. The package with the map is too big to fit in the mailbox, so Joan's neighbor gives it to her as she's on her way out to meet her publisher; thus it isn't there when her apartment gets ransacked. When Zolo misdirects Joan into getting on the wrong bus, it happens to take her into the heart of the province where the map says El Corazon is hidden. And of course, Jack's jeep happening to be parked in the middle of the road, causing the bus to crash when Joan distracted the driver.
* DeadpanSnarker: Jack Colton.
* DeathTrap: In ''Jewel,'' the villain puts our heroes in one, then describes how it works in lingering detail. Jack asks what kind of depraved mind comes up with such a monstrosity. Joan diffidently informs him it's from one of her novels.
* {{Deconstruction}}: Of the LovableRogue (among other archetypes). Joan fantasizes about rugged, rough and tumble men of adventure, and then she actually meets a real one - Jack T. Colton - and finds that the real thing isn't all that easy to deal with.
* DeterminedHomesteadersWife: Angelina draws liberally from the archetype.
* DiscOneFinalBoss: The movie is initially set up with it looking like Ira and Ralph are the main villains due to the kidnapping and ransom plot. Zolo's first appearance is in fact a RedHerring in this regard, since it takes place just before Joan receives the critical phone call--thus suggesting he was sent by them to find the map, and only after he failed to recover it did they call to set up the ransom demand. It isn't until Zolo's real identity is revealed that the viewer realizes who the true BigBad is, though perhaps the buffoonish nature of [[ThoseTwoGuys Ralph and Ira]] might have tipped them off sooner.
* DoubleSubversion: After obtaining the map, just when it seems he will pull a YouSaidYouWouldLetThemGo on Joan and Elaine, Ira...actually does release them. Then, just when it seems they've gotten away scot-free, gunshots suddenly ring out. [[ZigZaggingTrope It appears]] that Jack [[BigDamnHeroes has come to rescue them]]...only to have it revealed he's been captured by the BigBad.
** Another, minor example is the expectation Joan and Jack both seem to have that no one in Colombia speaks English or has access to modern technology. With Joan, being the NaiveNewcomer and FishOutOfWater that she is, it is understandable, but Jack has been living there over a year and a half and should know how frequently English is spoken--if not by a random drug runner, then at least by the staff of a hotel which has to deal with foreign tourists.
** And one more: the villagers tell Joan and Jack that Juan has a car. When they have managed to befriend him and ask about it, Juan laughs it off, telling them the villagers were pulling their leg, and that "they must have meant my little mule, Pepe". Cue incredulous looks from the heroes...[[spoiler:followed by TheReveal that indeed Pepe is [[TestosteronePoisoning no car]]]].
* DramaticThunder: During the confrontation at the fort.
* EvilVersusEvil: The finale, where Joan's exchange with Ira is ambushed by General Zolo, who in turn was led there by capturing first [[ChekhovMIA Ralph]], then [[ChangedMyMindKid Jack]]. Made literal when Ira's men shoot it out with Zolo's as a means to [[DirtyCoward cover Ira's escape]].
* FakeOutOpening
* FourthDateMarriage: Averted. They don't get married until the sequel.
* FriendOrIdolDecision: Jack has to choose between rescuing Joan from Zolo, or getting the stone back from the crocodile that swallowed it. [[ThePowerOfLove He chooses love, of course]]...[[SubvertedTrope only to have his gun be out of bullets]], so that he has to [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments climb the wall]]. [[DoubleSubversion And by the time he gets there,]] [[ActionGirl she's already rescued herself.]] He's surprisingly not too upset about this.
* FunWithForeignLanguages: When Zolo asks Ralph if they've met, Ralph says 'no comprendo'. Zolo asks if he's an American (since when he met Ralph earlier, he was speaking in an American accent). Ralph hastily says in badly broken Spanish, and that he isn't an American, he hates them.
-->'''Ralph:''' I hate Americano! I spit on 'em! Ptui! American scum-o! Scum-o!
-->'''Zolo:''' Etes-vous Francais? (Are you French?)
* GenreSavvy: When Jack finds nothing but a kid's porcelain bunny at the end of the map and laments all their trouble in search of The Stone, Joan points out that in one of her books, she hid the treasure inside a statue. Guess where The Stone turned up.
* GroinAttack: Ouch, poor Jack.
* HorsebackHeroism: Jesse, in the opening scene
* IShouldWriteABookAboutThis
* ImYourBiggestFan: Juan is a huge fan of Joan's books.
* InevitableWaterfall
* IntoxicationEnsues: Well, when all you have to burn for warmth is kilos and kilos of marijuana, you gotta do what you gotta do.
-->'''Jack''': [''leans back out of a cloud of smoke with a goofy smile on his face''] Now ''that's'' what I call a campfire.
* InsistentTerminology: ''Mondo dismal'', which Joan and her publisher call men who take advantage of women.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Michael Douglas as Jack.
* KarmicDeath: Averted. We're led to believe that it's gonna be the villain who always plays with his crocodiles [[spoiler: But it's actually Zolo that gets eaten by them.]]
* KnightOfCerebus: Zolo. When he's around there's always a sense of threat and fear particularly where Ira speaks about 'em.
* MacGuffin: The eponymous stone. Also, the map.
* MarySue: [[invoked]] Angelina in Joan's novels.
* MixedMetaphor: Joan turns Grogan's metaphors into this. He says he's gonna either kill her 'quick like the tongue of a snake, or slower than the molasses in January.' 'But it was October', she protests.
-->'''Grogan:''' I'd kill ya if it was the Fourth of July!
* MostWritersAreWriters: By a female writer about a female author.
* OhCrap: Jack gets a good one (both verbal and expression-wise) just after Joan falls down the mudslide, and just before he gets sucked down after her.
* [[OneBookAuthor One-Film Screenwriter]]: Diane Thomas, [[AuthorExistenceFailure against her will]].
* {{Qurac}}: Kadir in ''Jewel of the Nile''.
* RampJump: Lupe's Escape
* RealSongThemeTune: Subverted. Eddy Grant (known better for "Electric Avenue") recorded "Romancing The Stone" with intent to make it a pop hit and OscarBait -- but it was edited down to background music playing when Joan and Jack are permitted to enter the Bellmaker's home.
* RopeBridge
** An aged trestle, actually. Jack was apparently being hyperbolic.
* SheCleansUpNicely: Joan. [[spoiler: Jack too.]]
* ShesGotLegs: Jack takes a few chances to ogle Joan's legs in the jungle.
* SkeletonCrew: The crashed drug-smuggling plane in the Colombian jungle has the mummified corpses of two pilots still in their seats--one even acts as the PeekABooCorpse. Jack and Joan find refuge from the rain in the fuselage and raid the pilots' personal belongings for food and drink.
* StabTheScorpion
* StandardSnippet: The main theme to ''How the West Was Won'' is used, uncredited, during the FakeoutOpening, presumably as a stand-in for "epic exciting Western". The fact Joan is shown wearing headphones when she finishes writing the scene suggests this is actually a case of LeftTheBackgroundMusicOn.
* SuggestiveCollision: Jack and Joan tumble down a muddy incline together, landing in a shallow pool... with his head between her legs.
* TitleDrop: Almost. Ralph says, "At least I'm honest - I'm ''stealing'' this stone. I ain't tryin' to romance it out from under her!"
* ThoseTwoBadGuys: Ira and Ralph.
* ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks: Both played straight and subverted. Played straight in the FakeOutOpening when Angelina throws the knife strapped to her thigh to kill Grogan. Subverted [[spoiler: when Joan tries to pull the same trick on Zolo. He blocks it with the branch he's using to attack her with, and then tries to kill her with that instead.]]
* TookALevelInBadass: ''Joan''. She starts out the movie as a mousey, cringing DamselInDistress, but by the end of it she's throwing switchblades, burning Zolo with his own cigar, bashing him with a broken board right in his handless stump, knocking him [[KillItWithFire onto a lantern]], and dodging so that [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill he falls into a pit of crocodiles]]. How far she's come is first hinted at during the start of hostilities at the fort: when the guns start going off, Elaine (whom Joan had initially thought was the stronger sister) faints, but Joan doesn't even bat an eye, simply helping her up and dragging her off to safety elsewhere.
* TreasureMap
* VerbingNouny
* VileVillainSaccharineShow: Not Ralph and Ira who are too bufoonish and incompetent to count, but the sadist and cruel Zolo is too serious and frightening for an 80's family movie.
* WasntThatFun: When Jack faceplanted between Joan's legs after a mudslide. Of course, he was talking about the mudslide, not the faceplant. Probably.

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