->''"My, my, my, my, Mitchell. What would your momma say?''\\
''If she ever knew that you were crawlin' out and carryin' on that way...''\\
''Crackin' their heads, and jumpin' in and out of beds and hangin' 'round the criminal scene.''\\
''Do you think you are some kind of a star, like the guys on the movie screen?"''
-->--The ThematicThemeTune.

''Mitchell'' is a 1975 film starring Joe Don Baker as an abrasive, unpopular, alcoholic police detective. The film opens with the murder of an unarmed home invader by Walter Deaney (played by John Saxon). Though Deaney claims self-defense, Mitchell is doubtful but can't properly pursue the charge due to the FBI wanting Deaney for far worse. The police chief tries to keep Mitchell busy by getting him to stake out a man named Cummings who's involved in trafficking stolen merchandise and later drugs. Deaney also sends Mitchell a hooker named Greta to try and butter him up. After a disturbing sex scene involving beer and baby oil, he arrests her for having pot. Eventually Deaney tries to kill Mitchell, but dies in the attempt. Cummings is meanwhile trying to stop some Italian mobsters from bringing a shipment of heroin through his port. After a rather long scene of Mitchell yelling at a child, Cummings manipulates Mitchell into believing he'll help him catch the mobsters but in reality Cummings just plans to steal the real heroin and set up Mitchell. Mitchell gets wise and kills the Italian gangsters, then chases Cummings's boat. After a brief fight on the boat, he kills Cummings's lousy butler and finally Cummings himself. He returns home to find Greta waiting for him and he goes ahead and arrests her again for good measure (as she's been revealed to be high on pot, the viewer suddenly understands why she was willing to sleep with Mitchell).

Initially released by Creator/AlliedArtists, the film was later recut for television by Creator/{{Lorimar}} to remove all of the nudity, profanity, and violence, with some scenes obviously having been shot twice during production to remove swearing. It was the Lorimar cut that appeared on ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' in 1993, now further recut for the length of the program and actually losing the resolution to the Deaney subplot in the process. The episode went on to be extremely popular largely for its jokes focusing on the unpleasantness of the Mitchell character. It also featured the departure of host Joel Hodgson, thus guaranteeing its visibility among other episodes of the show. Not surprisingly, it is this version of ''Mitchell'' that most people are familiar with.

For the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' episode see ''[[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S05E12Mitchell here]]''.
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!!This film contains examples of:

* AffablyEvil: Cummings is ''immensely'' more likable than Mitchell, and even gives him some advice on how to be nicer (It amounts to "Don't shoot people you want information from").
* AntiHero: Mitchell combines elements of the classic definition (lacks heroic traits like... competence) and the modern definition (does immoral things without remorse).
* {{Bowdlerise}}: See Jerkass below. Originally it was "Bastard", not "Jerk", written on the windshield. Likely a cut intended for TV. In the same scene, during the argument with the kid, "Piss off!" was redubbed as "Buzz off!"
* TheCassandra: Poor Cummings. He hears about a drug shipment coming into his port from the ''cops'' before he hears about it from the person actually making the shipment. Yet his pleas that [[TheInfiltration something has clearly gone badly wrong]] and that at the very least a change in plans is in order, fall on deaf ears. Little wonder he ultimately decides, [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder to hell with everybody.]]
* ChalkOutline
* ChronicBackstabbingDisorder: Had Cummings played straight with Mitchell and not tried to double cross ''him'', too, he'd have gotten off scot-free.
* CowboyCop: Mitchell.
* {{Determinator}}: One of Mitchell's more endearing qualities.
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: "I'm sorry, the beer got a little excited."
* DrugsAreBad: Mitchell doesn't seem to care if Greta's a prostitute (at least as long as she doesn't try to charge ''him''), but as soon as she pulls out a joint, he hauls her in for Possession. ''Twice''.
** To be fair, Mitchell ''only'' brings her in when he finds out she's a "Christmas gift", and the implication that he's a dirty cop; in response, he brings her in because ''technically'' she's committing a crime (and she ''dares'' him to bust her.) He doesn't care about drugs ''that'' much. The second time is purely PlayedForLaughs.
* EnemyCivilWar: Half the reason Mitchell wins is that Mistretta and Cummings are engaged in one of these because Cummings, understandably, doesn't want to deal with the hijacked heroin shipment.
* FairCop: Harshly averted.
* FanDisservice: Baby oil.
-->'''[[MysteryScienceTheater3000 Crow T. Robot]]:''' [[{{Earworm}} My, my, my,]] '''''MY GOD, NOOOOO!!'''''
* ForTheEvulz: Deaney's killing of the burglar was purely for his own malicious amusement.
* GambitPileup: Okay, so Cummings double-crosses Mistretta and Mitchell, Mistretta plans to double-cross Cummings and kill Mitchell, and Mitchell is going through the motions of cooperating so he can take his time and arrest everyone. Mitchell somehow manages to come out on top and kill all the bad guys, but it's a narrow scrape.
* GoodIsNotNice: Mitchell
** Police chief Pallin is arguably worse. The dialogue suggests he gave Mitchell the stakeout assignment hoping Cummings would kill him. He also chews out Mitchell for simply doing his job (finding the holes in Deaney's story) without explaining why Mitchell should drop it (at first).
* HookerWithAHeartOfGold: Although at first she's being paid to sleep with Mitchell as a bribe, by the end of the movie, she's willing to do it for free -- thus demonstrating either utter lack of taste or the charity of a saint.
** [[spoiler:Although Mitchell turns down this offer, and we are led to believe he turns Greta back in to the police on further drug possession charges anyhow.]]
* IncrediblyObviousTail: Mitchell doesn't even ''try'' to be subtle at staking out Cummings.
* {{Jerkass}}: Everyone in the movie thinks Mitchell is an asshole. '''Even the villain'''.
-->Greta walks up to Mitchell's stakeout car while he's inside with Cummings, and writes "Bastard"/"Jerk" on the windshield in lipstick.
* JerkassHasAPoint: Mitchell may be a dick, but he's the only one who figures out that Deaney's killing the robber at the start of the film was more than just a home robbery gone bad. No one else believes him, probably on account of him being a jackass.
** The glance the other two cops give each other implies they know Deaney's story is BS, but since the FBI was already investigating him they figured it was best just to drop it.
* TheMafia/ TheSyndicate
* JugglingLoadedGuns: Deaney gives a profoundly stupid answer ("Some of 'em. I can never be sure which") when the police ask him whether his guns were kept loaded. Had he responded that the burglar could have loaded it on his own and he wasn't willing to risk finding out for himself if that was the case, it may have deflected a lot of Mitchell's suspicion.
* JustBetweenYouAndMe: Mistretta, who by all account has never met Mitchell and thus has no reason to gloat, does this while he and his {{Mooks}} have Mitchell at gunpoint.
* NoMrBondIExpectYouToDine
* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: Deaney refers to the Mexican thief as a "wetback". Joel and the 'bots are not amused. Then again, neither is Mitchell.
* PornStash
* ReassignedToAntarctica: To pull him away from Deaney, Mitchell is put on a one-man stakeout of Cummings's house. Never mind that it takes many people to properly stake out a house; his boss is obviously just shuffling him out of the way. It's pretty much confirmed in dialogue when Mitchell is briefed on-site, but he's [[{{Determinator}} determined to succeed anyway.]]
* ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight: Mitchell. He refuses to let the vile Deaney go for shooting an unarmed intruder.
* SerialEscalation: Mitchell goes from the murder of a burglar to dealing with a major international drug cartel and ''ending'' it.
* ShoutOut: The ending is an {{Homage}} to ''KeyLargo''.
* SmugSnake: Deaney.
* SpannerInTheWorks: Mitchell is a walking disaster for every character's plans, up to and including his own department's. The amazing thing is he rarely bothers to do anything proactive. He just hangs around and the bad guys do stupid things.
** That's uncharitable. Mitchell is more like Series/{{Columbo}} in that he's quietly observing and playing both sides against each other, waiting for the right moment to attack.
*** Columbo's actually a likeable, funny character, though, isn't a total slob[[note]]though Linda Evans is even more of a slob[[/note]], and doesn't screw things up for his department.
* StopCopyingMe: Done to the point that it drives the [[MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]] boys (and Mitchell) insane.
-->'''Boy:''' My mother doesn't like you.\\
'''Mitchell:''' Well I don't like your mother.\\
'''Boy:''' Why not?[[note]]meaning "Why don't you like her?"[[/note]]\\
'''Mitchell:''' Why not?[[note]]meaning "Why shouldn't I dislike her?"[[/note]]\\
'''Boy:''' No, why not?\\
'''Mitchell:''' No, why not.\\
'''Boy:''' Why are you repeating what I say?\\
'''Tom Servo:''' Tonight, on ''Crossfire''...\\
'''Mitchell:''' Why are you repeating what ''I'' say?\\
'''Boy:''' I'm not!\\
'''Mitchell:''' Well, I'm not.\\
'''Boy:''' You are!\\
'''Mitchell:''' Buzz off.\\
'''Boy:''' What?\\
'''Mitchell:''' What?\\
'''Boy:''' What did you say?\\
'''Mitchell:''' What did you say?\\
'''Boy:''' Did you say something?\\
'''Mitchell:''' Did you say something?\\
'''Tom Servo:''' '''''[[SkywardScream AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!]]'''''\\
'''Boy:''' You said buzz off!\\
'''Mitchell:''' You're lying through your teeth!\\
'''Boy:''' YOU'RE LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH!\\
'''Mitchell:''' Buzz off, huh?\\
'''Boy:''' Buzz off!\\
'''Mitchell:''' '''''BUZZ OFF, KID!!'''''[[note]]'''Servo:''' ''(as Mitchell)'' I'm gonna give him 10 seconds then I'm gonna ''run him over''![[/note]]
** Subverted in that the hero starts it with a child, and loses it with (and to) the child.
* VillainBall: Cummings would've almost certainly gotten away scot-free if he hadn't tried to double-cross Mistretta and Mitchell, since Mitchell hadn't uncovered any evidence that a DA would consider using against Cummings apart from knowing about a heroin shipment.
** Still, can you blame him for wanting [[DesignatedHero Mitchell]] to be punished?
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