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A 1994 comedy film starring Melanie Griffith, Ed Harris, Anne Heche and Creator/MalcolmMcDowell (and a kid that looks like a blond-er Haley Joel Osment). Three pre-teen boys decide they want to see a naked woman, and actually save money to hire a hooker for that purpose (apparently they think that's all they do). They go from the suburbs to the city by themselves and meet one named V (Melanie Griffith) who accepts the deal. After the exchange, the children's bikes are stolen, forcing V to give them a ride home.

V's car breaks down in front of the last boy's house, and he tells his widowed father (Ed Harris) that she is a math tutor. He helps fix her car, but then she finds out that her pimp has been murdered--by a Mob Boss, from whom he had stolen money. Fearing for her life (the mob is still looking for the money) V asks the kids to hide her, which they do--in their treehouse.

There is also a subplot about Frank's father being obsessed with saving a wetland.
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!!This movie provides examples of:

* AbortedArc: The plot point about Frank failing Sex Ed is dropped once he gives his report.
%%* AllMenArePerverts: Or else na´ve to the point of stupidity.
%%* BriefcaseFullOfMoney
%%* ComicTrio: Brad, Frank and Kevin.
%%* DirtyKid: Our protagonists.
%%* DumbBlonde: V
* EasilyForgiven: The mob boss just lets V go.
** Also, the kids after the whole thing is revealed.
%%* EvilBrit: Waltzer
%%* FromTheMouthsOfBabes
* GreenAesop: Because saving a swamp has something to do with zany prostitute misadventures, right?
* HarmfulToMinors: When V shows her breasts, Frank covers his own eyes.
%%* HookerWithAHeartOfGold: V
%%* InnocentInaccurate
* KarmaHoudini: The three boys. Frank even breaks a number of school codes and laws in a single scene and receives no punishment, even though his teacher witnessed the whole thing. Though that ''may'' have been just a daydream of Frank's. However, see ZanyScheme.
* MissingMom: Frank's mother died before he was bo-- Er, I mean... [[DeathByChildbirth just after he was born]].
* NoSocialSkills: V isn't very discreet when meeting one of the boys' fathers and pointing out he's a past client of hers ''right in front of his wife''.
%%* OneDialogueTwoConversations
* PaperThinDisguise: V with sunglasses is unrecognizable.
%%* [[SavingTheOrphanage Saving the Wetlands]]: The subplot.
* TinCanYouHearMeNow: As Ebert himself pointed out in his written review, this bit makes little sense given how kids have cell phones these days (although cell phones were not really commonplace back when the film first came out).
* ToiletHumor: The film begins with the line, "You ever fart and sneeze at the same time?"
* TheUnreveal: No, we don't get to see Melanie Griffith's boobs. (But two of the boys do.)
* WiseBeyondTheirYears: While the boys are unrealistically stupid, the girls are able to tell V is a prostitute just by looking at her.
%%* WretchedHive: The city is portrayed like this.
* ZanyScheme: While the kids ''might'' be excused because of their ignorance, and [[RuleOfFunny the whole thing being a comedy]], when V asks Frank's dad to take his pants off before she will explain things, what little common sense the film had flew away.

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