[[quoteright:320:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Machete_poster_larger_5412.jpg]]

->''"They just fucked with the wrong Mexican."''

The story of ''Machete'' is an interesting one. It began when Creator/RobertRodriguez first met Creator/DannyTrejo on the set of ''Film/{{Desperado}}''. He believed Trejo should have been a "Mexican Jean-Claude Van Damme or Charles Bronson" named Machete. Other projects got in the way, though, and ''Machete'' was put on the shelf. Rodriguez continued to use scenes he had planned for it in his other movies, and also introduced a [[LighterAndSofter significantly friendlier version]] of the character in ''Film/SpyKids''.

In 2007, Rodriguez filmed parts of ''Machete'' for a fake trailer attached to the beginning of ''Film/{{Grindhouse}}''. After making another [[Film/{{Shorts}} children's film]], he revisited ''Machete'' and set about making it into an actual film. The final product includes [[AscendedMeme every scene from the fake trailer]], and gained massive popularity as the quintessential exploitation action flick parody of the '00s. It boasts an impressive cast, including Creator/DannyTrejo, Creator/StevenSeagal, Creator/RobertDeNiro, [[Creator/CheechAndChong Cheech Marin]], Creator/JessicaAlba, Creator/LindsayLohan, Creator/MichelleRodriguez, and more.

''Machete'' stars Danny Trejo as Machete, a mysterious Badass Mexican hired off the street to kill a [[EverythingIsBigInTexas Texas]] state senator. However, before he can complete the mission, he is betrayed and left for dead by the same men who hired him. Now, eager for revenge, Machete sets out to take down the senator and everyone else who gets in his way.

A sequel called ''Film/MacheteKills'' was released October 11, 2013, with Trejo, Alba, and Michelle Rodriguez slated returning alongside Amber Heard, Music/LadyGaga, Creator/MelGibson, and Creator/CharlieSheen (as Carlos Estevez, his birth name).

A third film, ''Machete Kills Again... In Space!'', is in the works.
----
!!They just fucked with the wrong troper!

* FiveFiveFive: Pops up on Booth's phone. Also, 1-800-HITMAN has one too few numbers.
* AboveTheInfluence: Machete, with a drunk Jessica Alba no less. [[spoiler:Mind you, it works out for him.]]
* AbsurdlySharpBlade: Machete's... machetes, and the scalpel whip he later uses.
* ActionGirl: Luz and Sartana. April in the end TookALevelInBadass.
* AdamWesting: Lots and lots.
** Creator/StevenSeagal pokes fun at his countless [[InvincibleHero unstoppable badass]] role by playing a villain... who is so badass that [[spoiler:he can only be killed by a self-administered seppuku]].
** LindsayLohan as a [[DrugsAreBad drug-addicted]], [[ReallyGetsAround slutty]] MafiaPrincess who likes to stream her naughty bits on the internet (willingly, this time) alongside her mother. And whose father makes some... unfortunate comments about her.
** MichelleRodriguez as an [[ExaggeratedTrope over-the-top version]] of her [[TypeCasting usual]] [[SpicyLatina sexy]], badass Latina roles. [[VasquezAlwaysDies Her death doesn't even merit a spoiler.]] [[spoiler: Her [[NotQuiteDead surviving and]] [[MetaCasting largely subverting her typecasting]] makes her reveal at the end serious, ultimate badass.]]
** Felix Sabates as essentially the same doctor he played in ''[[Film/{{Grindhouse}} Planet Terror]]'', and, in fact, who he actually is in real life: when Sabates isn't appearing Rodriguez' movies, he's the Rodriguez' family doctor.
** And, last but not the least, Danny Trejo! A HeyItsThatGuy for his entire career, [[TypeCasting typecast]] as "that creepy KnifeNut Mexican", he finally gets a leading role as the described character type.
* AllGirlsWantBadBoys: Machete is a veritable sex magnet in the film, with almost every female character falling for him.
* AlmightyJanitor: Luz runs a food stand. Machete gets along as a laborer and poses as an actual janitor and a gardener later.
* AndStarring: "And Introducing: Don Johnson"
* AwesomeMcCoolname: Machete is not actually his [[TheyCallHimSword nickname]], it's his ''birth name''. Doubles as a [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast Name to Run Away from Really Fast]].
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Invoked when Sartana brings up Luz's "aiding illegal immigrants, evading border patrol and unsanitary food preparation".
* BadHabits: [[spoiler:April wears a nun outfit for the final battle, shortly after she finds out that her father had been killed.]]
* {{Badass}}: Considering it's an action movie directed by Robert Rodriguez, [[WorldOfBadass pretty much the entire cast]]. Especially Machete himself. One villain says he's "CIA, FBI, DEA, all rolled up into one mean fucking burrito."
* BadassBiker: Machete rides a chopper with ape hanger handlebars. Later he mounts a Gatling gun to a bike.
* BadassGrandpa: Machete Cortez' birthday is listed as May 16, 1944... which is Danny Trejo's birthday, making him 66.
* BadassLongcoat: Machete wears a longcoat at the final battle. Full of [[MacheteMayhem machetes]]. OhCrap.
* BadassMustache: Just look at it. The padre has an awesome one as well.
* BadassPreacher: Played by Cheech Marin, too.
-->"I took a vow of ''peace''. And now you want me to help you ''kill'' all these men?"
-->"Yes, bro... I mean, padre."
-->(gives it some thought, then shrugs) "I'll see what I can do..."
** Later, in the movie:
-->'''A thug''': "Please, have mercy!"
-->'''Padre''': "God has mercy. I don't."
* BareYourMidriff: Luz forgoes wearing combat armor in the final battle, instead wearing a black bikini top [[spoiler:and an eyepatch]].
* BatmanColdOpen: The film opens three years earlier with Machete and a [[DeadPartner sidekick Federal]] chasing down a woman kidnapped by Torrez. [[spoiler: Too bad [[ObviousTrap it's a trap]]!]]
* {{Beat}}: A hilarious one from the guards:
--> [[LampshadeHanging You know, any Mexican comes in here with garden tools, we let him in.]] -beat- -beat- -OhCrap-
* {{BFS}}: Machete wields[[OneSceneWonder (but doesn't use)]] a machete as big as he is in the climax.
* BigBad: Drug lord Torrez establishes himself as this in the opening. [[spoiler:It turns out he's working with Booth to manipulate the racist Senator [=McLaughlin=] and paramilitary leader Von Jackson to help him close the border. This way he can control the entire drug trade all by himself because only he knows the weak points, so he orchestrated pretty much everything in the movie.]]
* BigBrotherIsEmployingYou: Rivera.
* BlastingItOutOfTheirHands: [[spoiler:Born-again April, with ''[[ImprobableAimingSkills automatic weaponry]]''.]]
* BlondeBrunetteRedhead: April, Luz and Rivera.
* BloodyHilarious: All over the place, but mostly ''the intestines.''
* BloodstainedGlassWindows: The showdown between Padre and Osiris.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: [[spoiler:Senator [=McLaughlin=]'s murder of a Mexican family is exposed to the public... with the exact footage of the event you watched earlier in the movie.]]
* BroomstickQuarterstaff: Machete uses a mop to fight his way past Booth's goons after the faked assassination attempt on the senator.
* CaptainObvious: One of the films is called ''Machete Kills''.
* CarFu: Low-rider hydraulics have never been so lethal, as one unfortunate redneck finds out in the last battle, getting squashed flat by a bouncing low-rider.
* CarMeetsHouse: Several times.
* CaughtOnTape: The villains commit so many criminal acts in front of video cameras that it veers from TooDumbToLive territory to borderline suicidal. Heck, a Texas state senator, during an election year, actually ''requests'' that someone videotape him committing murder and burn a bunch of copies of the DVD.
* ChekhovsGun:
** Booth is ironically the one who gave Machete the hand-phone ("Machete don't text") in the first place.
** Chekhov's Corkscrew: When Machete visits Luz's house, for a second, camera focuses on a corkscrew lying on the table. Later, when they are attacked, he uses it in combat.
** At a safehouse hospital, a friendly doctor mentions how the human body has 60 feet of large intestines. Guess what Machete uses when he needs to make a quick exit out of that hospital's window?
* ContractOnTheHitman: The whole plot is to hire Machete to assassinate [=McLaughlin=], then frame him for the attempt to get support for the Senator.
* CreatorProvincialism: The film is set in Austin, where Robert Rodriguez lives and his film studio is based.
* CrossOver: Creator/DannyTrejo has [[WordOfSaintPaul stated]] that the Machete Cortez in ''Machete'' is what the Machete Cortez from ''Film/SpyKids'' does when he's not taking care of the kids. As Creator/RobertRodriguez intended to make a ''Machete'' movie years before [[DevelopmentHell he was able to]], he inserted a more family-friendly version of the character into Spy Kids in the meantime, so this is technically canonical.
* CrucifiedHeroShot: With surprising attention to detail. Most depictions that even ''use'' nails will have them driven into the palms; this movie accurately shows the nails being driven into the wrist-joints.
* DangerTakesABackSeat:
** [[spoiler:How Luz finishes off Von Jackson in the end.]]
** Machete uses this to bust himself out of the first arrest.
* [[DarkActionGirl Dark]] FauxActionGirl: Aside from shooting the naked woman (who also counts) who tricks Machete in the opening in the back of the head in her first scene, Cheryl Chin's character does ... pretty much nothing. [[spoiler: All she does when Torrez dies is pout fetchingly.]]
* [[spoiler:DarthVaderClone: Luther Voz in ''Machete Kills'' and in the trailer for ''Machete Kills Again... In Space!''.]]
* DeadlyDodging: Machete gets into, and ''out of'' a street fight, doing only this (it ends when the other guy breaks his own fist on scaffolding), because [[https://www.alluc.to/stream/machete Machete]] doesn't hit unarmed men. While eating a taco, no less.
* {{Determinator}}: Machete has a bullet in his head and got shot in his shoulder. This won't stop him from [[BadAss kicking ass.]]
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything:
** How did Machete's hit on [=McLaughlin=] go tits up? [[WhoShotJFK A second gunman was involved.]]
** The nonfatal assassination itself has been to compared to the shooting of former Taiwan president Chen Shubian, complete with "magic bullet" accusations (it grazed his belly).
** A political assassination involving a man named Booth? [[UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln Hmmmm...]]
** It takes place in Texas (due to a mixture of CreatorProvincialism and, well, it's cheaper to shoot where your studio is). True, Austin, but still.
** The campaign adds comparing Mexican immigrants to vermin is similar to Jews being compared to rats in the Nazi propaganda film ''The Eternal Jew''.
** An American politician who lives in Texas and affects a Texan accent but isn't even from the South? Hmmmm.
* DoubleEntendre: When the kidnapped girl starts feeling up Machete.
-->'''Girl:''' What's this ''long'', ''hard'' thing?
-->'''Machete:''' My machete.
* TheDragon: Booth officially serves as the right-hand man to Senator [=McLaughlin=], but is also working for Torrez. He also has his own Dragon, [[spoiler:whom he kills for screwing up one too many times.]]
* DualWielding:
** Machete with a pair of machetes vs. Torrez with his katana and wakizashi.
** Sartana with her [[ImprovisedWeapon stiletto heels!]]
* {{Eagleland}}:
** Flavor 2 for all the bad guys, except Torrez, who's Mexican. Von Jackson and [=McLaughlin=] ''think'' they are Flavor 1, but their bullying and trigger-happy redneck cowboy ways make them Flavor 2. [[spoiler:Though [=McLaughlin=] seems to fall to Mixed Flavor -- right around the time he admits he's not even from Texas -- in the end.]]
** Sartana, the Mexicans, and a handful of LaResistance Caucasians are Flavor 1.
* EasilyForgiven: [[spoiler:[=McLaughlin=] is pretty easily forgiven by the Network once Von and his man turn on him. April is not so forgiving, though.]]
* EpicFlail: Made from [[MacGyvering a nurse's belt and some surgical knives.]] Do NOT try this at home.
* EthnicMenialLabor: You didn't suspect the movie will feature Hispanic laborers, did ya?
* EvenEvilHasStandards: Subverted. When Von Jackson kills a pregnant woman, Senator [=MacLaughlin=] half-heartedly calls him out on it, then he kills the husband with the same sadistic pleasure.
* EverybodyKnewAlready: Luz is She... who'da thunk?
* EverythingIsBigInTexas: Including man-sized machetes.
* ExactWords: Machete tells Booth that April and June are with God. Booth assumes that they're dead, when they're actually in church.
* ExaggeratedTrope: Hoo boy. It would be easier to say that every trope listed is exaggerated to varying degrees, and some are driven SerialEscalation.
* ExplainExplainOhCrap: Booth's guards go through this when Machete infiltrates their boss's mansion by posing as a menial gardener. They let him through without any real check, then question why weren't more thorough because he could be anybody, then realize their stupidity.
* EyepatchOfPower: [[spoiler:Luz gets one after her she gets shot in the eye.]]
* EyeScream:
** [[spoiler:Luz's fate. She dons an eyepatch to manage.]] The fact that the character in question loses an eye at all is probably a reference to what happens to Creator/JohnnyDepp in ''Film/OnceUponATimeInMexico'', from the same director.
** Sartana can do this with [[ImprovisedWeapon her stiletto heels.]]
* FailedASpotCheck: When two Mooks defending Booth's mansion come across Machete, he bluffs his way past them by holding up a pickaxe and weedwhacker and saying "New gardener." One of the Mooks begins lecturing the other how [[NationalStereotypes everyone views illegals as common day-laborers and muses that any Mexican]] could just sneak past any security point by claiming to be a gardener... When the Mooks realize what they did, Machete's already got the [[ImprovisedWeapon weed whacker revved up.]]
* FalseFlagOperation: The bad guy's plot.
* FairCop: Sartana Rivera
* {{Fanservice}}:
** Gratuitous nudity about three minutes into the movie. [[FanDisservice Too bad the girl in question gets blown away.]]
** Creator/LindsayLohan (actually a body double, although she's pretty close herself later on) and her character's mother topless and making out with Machete in her daddy's swimming pool, though this is equally qualifiable as FanDisservice.
** Creator/JessicaAlba shows ''almost'' everything in a ShowerScene. Her nude scene was later revealed to not have been nude after all. She's wearing fairly covering panties and top, which were later removed digitally.
** Creator/MichelleRodriguez's {{Stripperiffic}} combat uniform. (Hell, her standard clothes - Daisy Dukes and spaghetti-strapped tank top - also count.)
* ForeignCultureFetish: Torrez apparently has one for Japan, down to using a katana to kill his victims and [[spoiler:committing seppuku]].
* GatlingGood: Machete attaches a Gatling gun to his motorcycle, then rides over an explosion from nowhere to shoot a mob of Mooks.
* GenreSavvy: The guards in black suits go through a [[ZigZaggingTrope zigzagging version of the trope]]. At first, they are GenreBlind enough to let in a {{Badass}}-looking Mexican with [[ImprovisedWeapon sharp garden tools]], but quickly realize - and {{Lampshade}} - that they were suffering from PlotInducedStupidity. When Machete pays a second visit, they are GenreSavvy enough to surrender to him, understanding his role as the ActionHero and theirs as [[{{Mooks}} expendable goons]]. He's nice enough to let them live, if only because [[PunchClockVillain they're not racist assholes.]]
* GenreThrowback: To '70s exploitation/trash movies, especially in the vein of blaxploitation movies.
* GodivaHair: April, waking up in a church after having been fucked sensele... drugged by Machete. It doesn't always cover everything up.
* GoOutWithASmile: [[spoiler: [=McLaughlin=] after getting shot up by the remnants of Von Jackson's group when he is mistaken for a Mexican. He seems to enjoy the irony and gives a classic De Niro grin.]]
* {{Gorn}}: A Rio Grande of blood is spilled in the movie, with dozens of characters killed in gruesome ways. Like [[spoiler:bungee jumping... with intestines.]]
* TheGuardsMustBeCrazy: Played with. Booth's guards drop the ball by letting Machete in, thinking he's another day laborer and complaining about how people always fall for the simplest disguises, but almost instantly [[{{LampshadeHanging}} realize it.]]
* GunsAkimbo: With [[ShotgunsAreJustBetter shotguns]] no less!
* GratuitousSpanish: Lots of it.
* HandicappedBadass: [[spoiler:Luz]] gets one eye shot out midway through the film and spends the rest of it sporting an EyepatchOfPower.
* HandCannon:
** [[spoiler:April's]] S&W500 in the final battle.
** [[spoiler:Luz]]'s sawn-off - based on comments from IMFDB about the size of its barrels, it's ''6-gauge''.
* HeelRealization: One of Booth's {{Mooks}}. "Ive been watching the boss, and the boss is a real scumbag." That same Mook, when confronted by Machete shortly thereafter, promptly quits his job and gives Machete his gun.
* HonorBeforeReason: The entire reason Machete's in this situation, because he wouldn't let Torrez kills the girl he kidnapped no matter what he might do to him.
* HospitalHottie: The twin nurses who help Machete out. They show up during the climax, dual-wielding guns to cut down racists.
* {{Hypocrite}}:
** The evil scheme: [[spoiler:Crooked politicians and drug runners want to seal up the border... to make it easier for them to import ''their'' illegal merchandise]].
** One of the mooks at Booth's house is Hungarian.
** Booth has no problem using and abusing Mexicans, oh, and by the way, can you pass him another taco at lunchtime...?
* HypocriticalHumor: One Mexican corrects his fellow dishwasher's pronunciation of Spanish profanity... and then pronounces "Hey" wrong. The same character also supports the anti-immigration policy, as he's already on this side of the border. [[spoiler: Subverted when he ''and'' his coworker turn out to be part of Luz's network.]]
* ImpairmentShot: Machete as he is wheeled into an ER.
* InvincibleHero: Machete due to outclassing everyone else in sheer badassitude, which even gets invoked at the end. [[spoiler:Torrez has defeated Machete in a knife duel and is about to kill him, which Luz notes will happen if they don't interfere. Sartara counters her by noting that Machete simply ''can't'' lose purely because he's Machete, and Luz says she's got a point. Then Machete suddenly gets up and impales Torrez.]]
* IronicEcho:
** Not verbally, but Torrez says to Machete that beheading him would be the honorable way to kill him, but Machete doesn't deserve to die honorably. [[spoiler:Torrez later commits seppuku.]]
** The two guards bitching to the three hitmen Machete shoots during his escape from the assassination attempt.
--> "I thought Jango shot you..." "[[NeverSayThatAgain I don't want to hear that story ever again.]]"
** Booth says, "I'm sending you to a convent" to his daughter early in the film. She dons a habit before the film's climax.
** Von Jackson says "An eye for an eye" on shooting Luz. [[spoiler:She turns out to be NotQuiteDead, but the [[MoeGreeneSpecial bullet took out her eye]].]]
** "Welcome to America."
* TheIllegal: Major plot point.
* ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy: Every Mook suffers from this.
* ImprobableAimingSkills: Nearly every hero (and the top-tier [[BigBad Bad Guys]]) have this.
* ImprobableWeaponUser: Many of the {{Improvised Weapon}}s get rather outlandish. Machete uses a Grass String Trimmer as weapon on one of the goons. As the goon reaches for his gun, Machete repeatedly uses the trimmer on his fingers without hurting him badly.
* ImprovisedWeapon: TheMovie of the trope. Machete turns just about every prop within arms reach into a weapon. Booth is shown "disciplining" one of his {{Mooks}} with a USB cable. Sartana kills one man with a table ornament and another with her shoes.
* InspectorJavert: Rivera, at first.
* JanitorImpersonationInfiltration: Machete shows up with [[PaperThinDisguise gardening tools]], and the guards just let him in. And he actually IS dressed as a janitor earlier in the movie to get to his sniper perch.
* KatanasAreJustBetter: Torrez' weapon of choice. Leads to a sword fight between katana-wielder and machete-wielder.
* KarmaHoudini:
** [[spoiler: Osiris, who disappears before the climax, due to his death scene getting left on the cutting room floor. Remnants of von Jackon's vigilantes manage to escape and continue gunning down people they think are Mexicans. Torrez' female sidekick just walks off, pouting.]]
** In a rare [[ZigzaggingTrope Triple Subversion]], [[spoiler: [=McLaughlin=]. First he looks like he's going to escape disguised as a Mexican (after helping the Mexicans, strangely enough), but then April shoots him. Then he turns out to have survived thanks to a bulletproof vest, and flees on foot. But then he gets killed by Von Jackson's men, mistaking him for a Mexican.]]
*** ...or perhaps not, as they were planning on executing him earlier, anyway.
* KarmicDeath / HoistByHisOwnPetard: [[spoiler: [=McLaughlin=] - after putting on a Hispanic-looking outfit to escape the Big Final Shootout - is caught stumbling along the border fence by remnants of Von Jackson's army and shot down, falling into the electrified fence. [=McLaughlin=] even smiles as he dies, apparently appreciating the irony.]]
* KavorkaMan: Ladies ''love'' Machete. Considering the trailer insists "Machete gets the women," this [[YouCantFightFate was unavoidable]].
* KnifeNut: Both the hero and the villain use them as their weapon of choice.
** Machete has a whole collection of Machetes, using them to kill goon after goon.
** Torrez is particularely fond of Katanas.
* LatinoIsBrown: The red-headed kid in the Latino community has to explain that he's not Mexican, he just grew up in the neighborhood.
* MadeOfPlasticine: At one point, Jessica Alba picks up a pyramid-shaped sculpture and rams it through a guy's chest.
* MacheteMayhem: A given. Machete later gets a ridiculously huge one in the final battle that disappears during the showdown with [[spoiler:Torrez]].
* MafiaPrincess: April relishes quite a bit in the life her criminal father allows her to live. He's disgusted by the way she sells herself as a wannabe porn starlett however, but not because he wants to protect his daughter; he wants to have her for himself.
* MagicalSecurityCam: The playback of the taping of Von Jackson and [=McLaughlin=] shooting Mexicans attempting to cross the border simply replays the scene early in the film, complete with angle cuts.
* MajorInjuryUnderreaction: [[spoiler: Torrez undersells getting impaled with a machete in a way only Creator/StevenSeagal can. With the machete still sticking in him, Torrez appears to attempt a ritual disemboweling: knowing he was already dead, he tries going out like a {{Samurai}} but fails, much to his Asian girlfriend's disgust.]]
* MaleGaze: Used several times, notably with Luz (by Machete) and a nurse (by [=McLaughlin=]) [=McLaughlin=] gets yelled at for it.
--> [[LampshadeHanging "I can feel your eyeballs reaching my uterus..."]]
* MaskedLuchador: One of the assassins attacking Machete and Sartana wears a Lucha mask [[spoiler:to conceal the fact the Feds are now after Sartana]].
* MayDecemberRomance: Machete (66-year-old Danny Trejo) gets it on with Luz (32-year old Michelle Rodriguez) halfway through the movie and rides off with Sartana (29-year-old Jessica Alba) at the end.
* MeaningfulEcho: "If not us, then who?"
* MeaningfulName: Machete, Booth... Probably the most meaningful name in the entire movie is Luz, who is a beacon of hope for her people.
* MisfitMobilizationMoment: The "Network" mobilizes.
* ModestyBedsheet: Jessica Alba poses nude in front of a refrigerator with her arms positioned in just the right way to hide anything naughty (and in fact Alba was wearing normal underwear which was CGI'd out.
* MoeGreeneSpecial: [[spoiler:Luz gets shot in the eye. She survives it.]]
* MobileKiosk: Luz's taco van.
* NationalStereotypes: Plays with the Mexican stereotypes. The Mooks all seem to be Irish-American or Italian-American. Oh, and one [[TokenMinority Black]] [[BlackDudeDiesFirst guy]], whose death isn't shown.
* NeverTrustATrailer: While the film is mostly faithful to scenes filmed for the 'Original' trailer, some scenes from the ''real'' trailers don't appear in the final cut.
** One scene from the ''[=Grindhouse=]'' trailer that didn't make the real film is [[spoiler: the shot of Booth cowering behind armed guards while Machete launches himself with a Gatling gun/motorcycle combo at them. Booth dies in another scene and isn't there when Machete goes all GatlingGood at the bad guys.]]
** There's also Machete's coat uncovered a '''lot''' of machetes strapped '''everywhere.''' In the film, he just uses two hilariously huge machetes in the final battle.
** The trailer originally had Machete taking aim at the senator as he coasted down the street in a convertible, full on JFK style.
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: [=McLaughlin=] is a far right-wing politician out of Texas, [[spoiler: [[GeorgeWBush who isn't even from Texas originally]].]] There are a few nods to Ron Paul's alleged white supremacist ties, as well.
* NonIndicativeName: Machete does most of his damage with Improvised Weapons. And one Weaponized Motorcycle.
* NoodleIncident: All those newspaper headlines that "She" was responsible for...
* NoOneShouldSurviveThat: [[spoiler: Luz, aka She]] was shot through the ''eye'' at not much more than point blank range, and except for the obvious loss of vision in that eye survives without lasting ill effects, even though such a wound (if survivable at all) would likely result in massive brain damage.
* NoPartyGiven: [=McLaughlin=] is referred to as an "independent" candidate. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_Senate#Current_composition On that basis alone, his odds of winning probably weren't too good.]] Indeed, Booth tells him he would never be reelected without him.
* OffstageVillainy: Torrez' drug operations have been... expanding.
* OffWithHisHead: Machete decapitates a lot of people, including five guys with a single stroke in the opening scene.
* OhCrap:
** "You're telling me that Mexican day-laborer is a '''GODDAMN FEDERALE'''?!"
** When Booth gets Machete's first-ever [[spoiler:text message.]]
** When the bad guys' plan for immigration begins falling apart...
** When [=MacLaughlin=] realizes the nun he's talking to is April.
* OnlyAFleshWound
-->'''Machete:''' "I wasn't going to kill [=McLaughlin=]. I was only going to shoot him in the neck, to stop him from saying those stupid things."
* OneHandedShotgunPump: Done by the priest. With ''two'' shotguns at once.
* OohMeAccentsSlipping: Steven Seagal as Torrez, who has zero accent, despite being a Mexican native who curses in Mexican. It's intentional of bad foreign villains of ''[=Grindhouse=]'' films, where foreign people... weren't.
* PapaWolf: [[spoiler: Booth to his drug-troubled daughter April. It would be his redeeming quality, if it wasn't because he wants to bone her. At least he knows it's wrong, and has confessed it to a priest.]]
* ParentalIncest[=/=]VillainousIncest: Booth confesses to impure thoughts about April. Meanwhile, she's filming porn with her mother.
* ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish: Invoked when [[spoiler: Machete]] hacks the encrypted files on [[spoiler: Booth's]] computer.
* PlotHole: As with most other tropes in this film, deliberately used as a throwback to poorly cut and hastily shot [=grindhouse=] films that were rife with these.
* PsychoForHire: Osiris Amanpour (1-800-HITMAN)
* PunnyName: Luz's alter-ego, "Shé". Pronounced like Che. You know, overused Communist icon.
* RagtagBunchOfMisfits: The Network. Also counts as LaResistance.
* RampJump: An incredibly {{egregious}} example at the climax of the movie: Machete mounts a [[GatlingGood minigun]] onto a [[CoolBike chopper]], and ramps off of a part of the scenery with a [[ImpressivePyrotechnics huge explosion]] behind him (with no apparent cause [[RuleOfCool other than]] [[AwesomenessIsVolatile it would be awesome]]), and cuts down a dozen mooks with gunfire before landing.
* RatedMForManly: The movie is a homage to the [[RoaringRampageOfRevenge avenging anti-hero]] movies of TheSeventies. So it's got everything - guns, [[MacheteMayhem machetes]], explosions, machetes, sexy women, [[OverlyLongGag machetes]], and tequila - that made such movies so manly. And ''thankfully'' without the awful disco soundtracks. Well, besides the scene with Lohan. Oh, we forgot to mention it's a ''[=Grindhouse=]'' [=spinoff=].
* RealTrailerFakeMovie: ''Machete'' started out as one of these.
* RecycledInSpace!: As of Comic Con 2011, the sequel Machete Kills Again has been retitled Machete Kills Again IN SPACE!
* RefugeInAudacity or RuleOfCool: Take your pick.
** [[SoBadItsGood Refuge In So Bad Its Good]]: every [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse plot hole]], SpecialEffectsFailure, awful delivery, [[FlatCharacter poorly defined character]] and ConspicuousCG only make it a better homage to the schlock that codified these tropes.
* RescueSex: Subverted in the opening scene. Machete rescues a female kidnap victim who turns out to be jaw-droppingly attractive, totally naked, and eager to reward her rescuer, while Machete is only interested in saving her. [[spoiler:For his trouble she stabs him with his own machete, as it's all a trap by the BigBad.]]
* RetiredBadass: Played straight with Padre. [[spoiler:Heavily implied with Luz.]]
--> "I don't kill anymore." "You don't kill any ''less'', either."
* RightManInTheWrongPlace: The plot gets kicked off when Machete's framed for assassination of a racist senator - Booth has no idea he just hired the wrong Mexican.
* RightWingMilitiaFanatic: Von Jackson and his border vigilantes.
* RoaringRampageOfRevenge: They DID, after all, just fuck with the wrong Mexican...
* RousingSpeech: given by [[spoiler: Sartana]] to the Mexican workers, and it's appropriately cheesy.
* RuleOfFun: Robert [=DeNiro's=] reason for being here.
* RunningGag: Von Jackson's [[TheDragon dragon]] throwing up after witnessing something violent. [[LampshadeHanging Lampshaded]] by Von Jackson himself.
-->"You need to work on that."
** Torrez saying "puñeta" every time he shows up. It's, sadly, a practically untranslatable Spanish curse word (the closest it can be translated to is "jerking off" used as an exclamation or adjective), [[BilingualBonus but to any person familiar with Spanish, it's rolling-on-the-floor funny.]]
* TheSavageSouth: Insane Mexican mercenary runs amok in Texas.
* [[ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight Screw The Rules, I'm Doing What's Right]]: When Sartana gets pulled off the case, she decides to deliver all the evidence she has acquired from Machete to a news reporter.
-->"Well, [[ToBeLawfulOrGood there's the law and there's what's right]]. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome I'm gonna do what's right]]."
* ScrewThisImOuttaHere: Upon encountering Machete ''again'' after getting getting shot in the legs during Machete's escape from the framing, a mook [[KnowWhenToFoldEm immediately quits angrily.]]
* {{Seppuku}}: [[spoiler:When Machete mortally wounded Torrez, Torrez scornfully finishes himself off this way, to deny Machete to glory of killing him. Torrez has to pause, saying it hurts more than he thought it would, before pulling the blade all the way through.]]
* SequelHook: [[spoiler: "Machete... Will Return in... ''Machete Kills!'' And... ''Machete Kills Again!''"]]
* TheSiege: The climax of the film. Rather appropriately, given the film's pro-immigration themes, the heroes are the ones trying to break into the fort.
* SirNotAppearingInThisTrailer: Jeff Fahey was barely in the trialer and did not appear on a lot of promotional material, despite having more screen time than De Niro and Seagal.
* ShoutOut:
** In the original ''[=Grindhouse=]'' trailer, Machete is seen inspecting a table full of weapons while Creator/JohnCarpenter's synthesizer score from ''Film/EscapeFromNewYork'' plays, imitating a scene from that film.
** A computer screen showing a projection of the Texas/Mexico border lined with electrical fencing resembles similar screens on the opening [[InfoDump Info Dumps]] of ''Film/EscapeFromNewYork'' and ''Film/EscapeFromLA''.
** And the wide shot of the four bad guys walking into the church seems to echo the [=DiVAS=] entering the church in ''Film/KillBill''
** [[spoiler:Luz]] in an eyepatch and stepping out of an ambulance covered in leather could homages Elle Driver and/or Snake Plissken. She even says "What eye?" in the same tone of voice Snake would.
** Padre [[spoiler:getting shot quite badly in the knee in the church]] echoes Marquez's injuries in ''Film/OnceUponATimeInMexico''
** And the BloodyHilarious intestines...thing seems to echo El and Carolina's hotel escape in ''Film/OnceUponATimeInMexico'', except that was a chain.
** A gunfight against mob enforcers in a church while Ave Maria plays in the background is a reference to Creator/JohnWoo films.
** Don't forget where the name Film/{{Sartana}} comes from.
** Senator [=McLaughlin=] (played by Robert [=DeNiro=]) drives to the Vigilantes' compound in a... [[Film/TaxiDriver taxi]].
** Another ShoutOut to ''Film/OnceUponATimeInMexico:'' The shadowy freedom fighter is called "She". El Mariachi is also known as simply "El," which is Spanish for "He" (or possibly "the").
** [[spoiler:Luz]] getting shot in the eye and returning with an EyepatchOfPower is a shout-out to the apparent death/ressurection of Cheech Marin's character in both ''Desperado'' (where he was shot in the eye) and ''Film/OnceUponATimeInMexico'' (where he returned sporting his own eyepatch).
* ShroudedInMyth: "She", as well as Machete by the end.
* ShutUpHannibal: A rare example by a villain. Booth delivers his speech to [=McLaughlin=] about how much the senator needs him, and [=McLaughlin=] responds by shooting him.
* SleazyPolitician[=/=]StrawHypocrite: Senator [=McLaughlin=], [[ExaggeratedTrope to the point of absurdity]]. [[CrowningMomentOfFunny When your political ads could have come straight from a GTA game]], it's kind of a given.
* SoundtrackDissonance: The use of Ave Maria and Vicente Fernandez's "El Rey" during scenes of slaughter.
* SouthOfTheBorder: Parodied.
* SpicyLatina: Not just Creator/MichelleRodriguez, the poster girl for this trope, but also Creator/JessicaAlba who rarely plays this role, as well as several more. The nude woman in the opening scene also counts.
* {{Spinoff}}: Of ''[=Grindhouse=]'' and ''Film/SpyKids'', though the latter's only connected by a character name and actor (WordOfGod is that it's the same character though).
* SplitScreen: The fight scene at Jessica Alba's house.
* SpoilerOpening: You'll notice a difference between Luz in the opening credits and Luz in the movie. [[spoiler:The one in the credits has an eyepatch...]]
* StevenUlyssesPerhero: During one scene, Machete is listed as the character's ''birth name''.
* TheStoic: Machete. Even when faced with the prospect of getting laid. And in the middle of sex.
* {{Stripperiffic}}: Luz wears only pants, a black bikini, and [[spoiler:an eyepatch]] as her combat outfit during her fight scene at the end.
* StylisticSuck: This being a ''[=Grindhouse=]'' [=spinoff=] and parody... you can tell Rodriguez was aiming to fill the movie to the brim with cheesy special effects and intentional FridgeLogic. For example, a lot of the effects are obviously intentionally half-assed or done wrong.
* TakeThat: A ''Cinco De Mayo''-themed trailer was issued with "A [[http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/05/05/machete-trailer-lohan/ special message]]... to ARIZONA!" In response to an anti-illegal-immigrant law (SB 1070) that had just passed in that state.
* TakingYouWithMe: [[spoiler: Torrez]] considers this as he's dying...
-->''"...But you'll probably be in Hell waiting for me."''
* TankTopTomboy: Agent Rivera, who is always presented as an ActionGirl.
* TechnicalPacifist: Machete, believe it or not. Sure, he kills ''a lot'' of people, but he goes out of his way to take out a lot through nonlethal means. Note the group of {{Mooks}} who live to encounter him a second time - only to survive again.
* TestosteronePoisoning
* ThemeNaming: Booth's daughter and wife, April and June.
* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill: Such as lowriders smashing people or strangling people with someone elses' guts.
* [[TheyCallHimSword They Call Him Machete]]: [[HisNameReallyIsBarkeep That's also his real first name]].
* ThirdPersonPerson: Machete sometimes refers to himself as this. "Machete don't text. Machete improvises."
* ThoseTwoGuys: Booth's security guards and the two dishwashers.
* [[ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks Throwing Your Machete Always Works]]: In this movie, ''it does.''
* TisOnlyABulletInTheBrain:
** Luz survives a bullet in the brain unscathed (well... minus an eye, but it doesn't seem to cause her much trouble).
** Machete actually survives two. The first bullet saved his life by stopping the second bullet's advance.
* TrailersAlwaysSpoil: Anyone who's seen the trailer (or even just the opening credits) will know that Luz survives losing her eye and gets a patch. She also appears with the eyepatch on the cover of the DVD.
* TrenchcoatWarfare: Machete carries a ludicrous number of blades inside his trenchcoat.
* {{Troperrific}}: No exploitation movie trope was left untouched!
* TwoPersonPoolParty: ...or Three Person in this case, as Machete scores with mother/daughter pair June and April Booth.
* UglyGuyHotWife: Perhaps not ugly, but Machete is definitely scarred and craggy-looking. And both his wife (for the half-minute she was alive on-film) and Sartana are considerably easier on the eyes.
* TheUnreveal: The fate of Machete's daughter. Torrez claims in the opening sequence that he'll kill Machete's daughter but we never find out if he did. A later scene implies that Luz is Machete's daughter but we never find out if that's true either.
* VasquezAlwaysDies: [[spoiler: Subverted. MichelleRodriguez, the poster girl of the trope, gets a bullet in the eye... but returns later for the final battle. And to top it off, she survives that as well.]]
* TheVerse: Apparently, takes place in the same universe as ''Film/SpyKids'', albeit a ''much'' DarkerAndEdgier version of it. If this is true, then Sartana has another twin sister (from a deleted scene) who's married and a spy...
* VictoriasSecretCompartment: This might be an example, or it might not be, but the nude woman in the opening scene eventually withdraws a phone from Victoria's OTHER Secret Compartment. In other words, someplace you really, really [[CountryMatters shouldn't keep a phone]].
* VillainousBreakdown: Booth.
* TheVoiceless: One Mexican only communicates with a sketchpad.
* WeaponizedCar: a whole fleet of these in the climax. Except that at some point they ran out of weapons and put in hydraulics instead.
* WhatAnIdiot: In-universe: the mooks guarding Booth's mansion complain about people stereotyping all Mexicans as day laborers, and muse that any Mexican could just walk in unhindered if they said they were a day laborer. Unfortunately for them, they just let Machete in, who was pretending to be a gardener. [[OhCrap Cue them staring at each other in realization while Machete gets out the weed whacker...]]
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: [[ProfessionalKiller Osiris]] disappears before the climax, without getting killed or finishing his job. In one of his later scenes, he notes that Machete isn't looking for ''him'', implying that he simply quit. He was originally supposed to get caught scoping out the chop shop and get decapitated by a power saw, but the scene was deleted.
* WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer: The white kid's buddy is an artist who draws perfect portraits of Sartana and Machete. What does he do in the final fight, when the nurses, Wrench Wenches and dishwashers are all packing heat? [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Just... run around sketching like mad, apparently.]]
* WilhelmScream: One of the border vigilantes emits one in the climax before [[CarFu being squashed by a hydraulics-hopping lowrider]].
* WorldOfBadass: It can be simply said that the entire cast lives and breathes badassery.
* WorldOfHam: Machete ''is'' the page summary for this trope.
* WouldNotShootAGoodGuy: Machete spares the lives of Booth's guards, who only had an extremely vague clue as to what their boss was getting up to. Also, when he is "arrested" by phony cops, he waits until he hears them admit that they're fake before killing them.
* WriterOnBoard: Played for laughs and invoked. Rodriguez does, apparently, mean the film's pro-immigration stance sincerely, but he also portrays the conflict as not even really about race, but about money, with a Mexican drug lord as one of the main villains, and turns up the {{narm}} and {{anvilicious}}ness, since it ''is'' meant to be a throwback to stupid race exploitation films that ''were'' iconic to the post-Civil Rights movement.
* YouHaveFailedMe: Torrez, Booth, [=McLaughlin=], and Von Jackson don't like it when their underlings make too many mistakes. [[spoiler: They even start turning on ''each other'' when their more monstrous actions go public, Booth getting killed and Von Jackson about to execute [=McLaughlin=].]]
* YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness: [[spoiler:All the bad guys to each other when Machete ruins their plans, ''again''.]]
* YouKilledMyFather: Textbook example when [[spoiler:April shows up in the end to shoot [=McLaughlin=].]]
----