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[[caption-width-right:300: [- Wait... Why is [[Franchise/{{Scream}} Ghostface]] on the cover? -] ]]

-> ''There's no such thing as safe sex.''

''Lovers Lane'' is a SlasherMovie released in 2000.

In 1986, a small town was shaken by the violent Valentine's Day hook murders of Harriet Anderson and Ward Lamson (who were married... but not to each other) in a secluded area nicknamed Lovers Lane. The double homicide was quickly pinned on a local oddball pervert named Ray Hennessey, who was placed in the nearby Meston State Hospital, under the care of Doctor Jack Grefe, half-brother of Sheriff Tom Anderson, Harriet's husband. He was also given the (rather unoriginal) nickname "the Hook".

Things are fine until Valentine's Day thirteen years later, when Ray escapes, killing an orderly and taking his old hook (which Doctor Grefe kept under glass in his office) in the process, leaving behind a newspaper clipping which implicates he will go after Doctor Grefe's teenaged daughter, Chloe. Despite news of the Hook's escape, a group of high school students (which includes Chloe, Janelle, Doug, Tim, Cathy, Bradley, Sheriff Anderson's daughter Mandy, and Ward Lamson's son and Chloe ex-boyfriend Michael) decide to spend the night up on Lovers Lane, boozing, partying and sexing it up without having to worry about anyone, since the only people who live anywhere close to the area are Old Man Yasgur and his wife.

Of course, the Hook, who is being tracked by the police (headed by Sheriff Anderson) and high school principal Penny Lamson (Michael's mother) cannot resist all this sweet young meat, especially when the children of his original victims are among it.

!! This film provides examples of the following tropes:

* AccidentalMurder: Michael unintentionally runs an injured Cathy over with a car.
* AdaptationExpansion: Of the old "escaped hook handed maniac on the loose" urban legend.
%%* AlphaBitch: Chloe and (to a lesser extent) Cathy.
* ArtificialLimbs: While in captivity, Ray had a fake hand. He leaves it behind during his escape.
%%* AutoErotica: Goes without saying.
* AxeBeforeEntering: At least three doors get hacked through.
%%* BadassMustache: Sheriff Anderson, in the opening.
%%* BaldOfEvil: Ray and Doctor Grefe.
%%* BedlamHouse: Meston State Hospital.
* BigBadEnsemble: Doctor Grefe and Chloe are [[BigBadDuumvirate working together]], while Ray is just doing his own thing.
* BigDamnHeroes: As Mandy and Michael are cornered by Doctor Grefe, Sheriff Anderson shows up and shoots him several times. It only slows him down, though.
* BigDamnVillains: Ray randomly appears and kills Chloe.
* BrokenHeel: While fleeing Doctor Grefe in the opening, a couple trip due to being half-dressed.
* CainAndAbel: Sheriff Anderson and Doctor Grefe.
%%* CarFu: See AccidentalMurder above.
* CatScare: Doug and Tim using ketchup to make it look like Tim was attacked. Later, Sheriff Anderson is scared by an actual cat while looking through Doctor Grefe's house. Later ''still'', Michael and Mandy are scared by a pig while looking through the Yasgur barn.
* CaughtWithYourPantsDown: Chloe catches Doug playing with himself... in a public washroom.
* CellPhonesAreUseless: Averted. Tim's cellphone works fine in the woods, too bad he's one of the first to go. Mandy finds and uses it to contact her dad later, though.
* TheCheerleader: Janelle, who is never seen outside of her uniform. Going against the stereotype, she's actually pretty nice.
%%* CluelessDeputy: Deputy Schwick.
* ClusterFBomb: Michael's reaction to Mandy telling him that his father didn't die of a heart attack like his mother told him, but was murdered.
* CompletelyDifferentTitle: ''I'm Still Waiting For You'' in the UK.
%%* CouldntFindAPen: "PRISON FOOD SUCKS"
* CoverDrop: It depicts the scene where Michael and Mandy find Chloe lying in the middle of the road.
* CoversAlwaysLie: None of the villains wear a ''Franchise/{{Scream}}''-esque WhiteMaskOfDoom like the one featured on the cover.
%%* CreepyBasement
* CruelAndUnusualDeath: Janelle getting hooked in the vagina.
* CutPhoneLines: Presumably why the Yasgurs' phone is dead.
%%* DaddysLittleVillain: Chloe.
* DangerousWindows: Doctor Grefe punches through some to try and get to both Janelle and Mandy.
* DangerTakesABackseat: Chloe is revealed to be one of the killers when she dons a hook and attacks Michael from the backseat of a car.
* DeathByMocking: Tim and Cathy, and Doug if pranks count as mocking.
* DeathBySex: Played straight with Bradley, but surprisingly averted with the couple in the opening.
%%* DevelopingDoomedCharacters
* DistractedByTheSexy: In order to keep Doug occupied while Mandy sets his broken leg, Janelle lifts her shirt up.
%%* DontGoInTheWoods
%%* DramaticUnmask: Done with both Doctor Grefe and Ray.
%%* DrivenToSuicide: The briefly mentioned Mrs. Grefe.
* DudeNotFunny: In-universe, after Sheriff Anderson discovers his wife's body, an attending officer cracks "Damn, that must have hurt!" He is promptly yelled at.
%%* DumbBlonde: Janelle.
* TheEndOrIsIt: An officer brings Mandy and Michael to a police van, and tells the driver to bring them home. After the officer leaves, the driver is revealed to be Ray via his glimpsed HookHand.
* EvenEvilHasLovedOnes: It is quite apparent Chloe and Doctor Grefe really do love and care for each other.
* EvilAllAlong: Ray was framed for the murders of Ward and Harriet by Doctor Grefe, but turned out to be homicidal anyway.
%%* EvilOverlooker: The cover displayed above.
%%* EvilUncle: Doctor Grefe.
* TheFaceless: Ray's face isn't seen that clearly, until he confronts Chloe.
* {{Fainting}}: Doug faints after his broken leg is set.
* FanService: Two sets of breasts are displayed.
%%* FinalGirl: Mandy.
* FollowTheLeader: A lot of people seem to dismiss it as a rip-off of ''Film/IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer''.
* {{Foreshadowing}}: In the bowling alley, Janelle mentions that the version of the hook-handed maniac story she heard involved the killer being disfigured by a fiery explosion. Near the end, this actually does happen to Doctor Grefe. Also, Chloe's line "No, you are gonna fuck me right now, or I'm going to kill you're faggot ass."
%%* {{Frameup}}: Done to Ray by Doctor Grefe.
* GolfClubbing: Michael fends Doctor Grefe off with a golf club he finds lying around the Yasgur house.
* {{Gorn}}: Barely, considering almost everything is offscreen.
* GoryDiscretionShot: Chloe getting her throat slashed; gore is shown splattering on a car window.
* GroinAttack: Janelle gets hooked between the legs from under a bed, while Doctor Grefe later gets a golf club to the nads.
* GrossUpCloseUp: On Brad's slit throat.
* HardDrinkingPartyGirl: A girl at the bowling alley.
* HarmfulToMinors: A young Mandy approaching her mother's unattended corpse at the scene of the crime.
* HassleFreeHotwire: Done by Michael, when he and Mandy fail to find the keys to the Yasgurs' car.
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: Doctor Grefe is killed with his daughter's hook.
%%* HookHand: Ray.
* HooksAndCrooks: Doctor Grefe and Chloe, who each utilize a detachable HookHand.
* HopeSpot: The group find a shotgun, too bad Michael's jumpiness causes him to waste the only two available shots.
%%* HorrorDoesntSettleForSimpleTuesday
* IncrediblyLamePun: When Doug faints after having his leg set, Michael tells Janelle (who exposed herself to distract Doug during the procedure) that her body "is a real knockout".
%%* InTheHood: Apart of the killers' attire.
* ImprovisedWeapon: Along with a golf club, Michael also uses a car cigarette lighter on Chloe's face.
* ItsPersonal: Michael.
--> "This fucker killed my dad! I want him dead!"
%%* JerkJock: Tim.
* KeyUnderTheDoormat: Sheriff Anderson gets into the Grefe house the hard way, while Penny just uses a key she finds under the mat.
--> '''Penny:''' "Maybe I should be the sheriff."
* TheKillerBecomesTheKilled: Ray offing Chloe.
* KnifeNut: Doug gets a pair of them through the thighs.
* LittleNo: Janelle, when she starts hearing scratching noises while trying to wake the unconscious Doug up.
* TheLoad: Doug, after his leg breaks.
* LuckyCharmsTitle: ''Lo♥ers Lane''.
%%* {{Meganekko}}: Mandy.
%%* MakeOutPoint
* MalevolentMaskedMen: Along with hoods, the killers also have ski masks.
* MirrorScare: While Sheriff Anderson is looking around the Grefe house, one of the killers (presumably Ray) appears briefly in a mirror.
* MyCarHatesMe: Doug crashes it.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: Grefe, pronounced like "grief".
* NotQuiteDead: Doctor Grefe is blown up and is shot several times, but only dies when he gets hooked in the back.
* OffscreenTeleportation: Justified, there's three killers.
* OffWithHisHead: The head of Doctor Grefe's dog is found in a refrigerator.
* OhCrap: Chloe, when she realizes the hook handed man she's been talking to isn't her father, but Ray.
* ParentalIncest: Vaguely alluded to with Chloe and Doctor Grefe.
%%* ThePlace
* PlayingPossum: Done by Chloe, when Tim and Doug discover her and Bradley's car. Also done by her father, after Sheriff Anderson shoots him.
* PeekABooCorpse: A couple finding Ward and Harriet's in the opening, and Mandy finding the Yasgurs' while looking for something to barricade a door with.
* PoolScene: The school kind.
%%* PsychoPsychologist: Doctor Grefe.
%%* ReactionShot
* RedHerring: Ray appears to be this when Doctor Grefe and Chloe are revealed as the killers, but then it turns out he was running amok as well.
* TheReveal:
** Chloe went crazy after Michael dumped her, and decided to kill him and anyone who got in her way.
** Doctor Grefe, who goes along with his daughter, was madly in love with Harriet, and killed her and Ward when she rejected his advances. He is similarly obsessed with Mandy.
** Ray was framed by Doctor Grefe, but was violently insane anyway, and is killing independently of the Grefes.
* ScreamingWoman: The female member of the couple in the opening, upon finding Ward and Harriet's bodies, and Penny, who just stands there dumbstruck as Sheriff Anderson and Doctor Grefe fight near the end.
%%* ScreamDiscretionShot: Several.
* SexyDiscretionShot: Creator/AnnaFaris lifts her shirt, but we don't get to see anything... damn.
%%* TheSheriff: Tom Anderson, Mandy's father.
%%* TheShrink: Doctor Grefe.
* SinisterScrapingSound: Done by the killers, repeatedly.
* SlashedThroat: Every non-stabbing death.
* StalkerShrine: Doctor Grefe has a dual one, for both Harriet and Mandy.
* StuffBlowingUp: The Yasgur house, when Doctor Grefe sets off Michael's gas stove and matches booby trap.
* TalkToTheFist: When a drunk girl at the bowling alley starts going on about how Michael is probably shitfaced and getting laid as they speak, Penny responds by punching her in the face.
* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill: When she starts freaking out, Janelle grabs ''four'' knives.
* ThirteenIsUnlucky: Of course the murders would start again after thirteen years.
* ThisIsForEmphasisBitch: Michael, after smacking Doctor Grefe around with a golf club:
--> "Nine iron, bitch!"
* TitleIn: Valentine's Day - Thirteen Years Ago and Present Day.
%%* TurnOfTheMillennium
* TwoFaced: Doctor Grefe, after being blown up.
* UrbanLegends: When Doug tells everyone the Hook escaped, Janelle and Cathy (unaware of the town's history) bring up all the different legends and stories regarding him.
* VillainousBreakdown: Doctor Grefe, upon finding Chloe's body.
%%* VillainousIncest
%%* TheVoiceless: Ray.
* WeaponOfChoice: Regular hooks for the Grefes, and a HookHand for Ray.
* WoundedGazelleGambit: Chloe lies in the middle of the road and pretends to be injured, and states Brad is still alive, to get Mandy and Michael to go back to Lovers Lane, where she and her father can finish them off.
* {{Yandere}}: Chloe, who went insane and decided [[MurderIsTheBestSolution to kill everyone]] (with her father's help) after being told by Bradley that Michael wanted out of their relationship.
%%* YouKilledMyFather
* YourCheatingHeart: Since their bodies were found together on Lovers Lane, it was assumed Ward and Harriet were having an affair, though it's later revealed by Doctor Grefe that they weren't, he just posed the bodies like that.