[[quoteright:263:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Eight_Legged_Freaks_cover_8997.jpg]]

->''"Do you hate spiders? Do you REALLY hate spiders? Well, they don't like you, either!"''
-->-- '''{{Tagline}}'''

''Eight Legged Freaks'' is a 2002 horror-comedy film directed by Ellory Elkayem, executive produced by [[Film/{{Stargate}} Roland]] [[Film/IndependenceDay Emmerich]], and starring Creator/DavidArquette, Kari Wührer, Creator/ScarlettJohansson and Doug E. Doug. The plot concerns a collection of spiders that are exposed to toxic waste, causing them to grow to gigantic proportions. Yeah. It's a 50s monster movie made with 21st century visual effects, and it's '''exactly''' what you're expecting.

It's set in [[Film/{{Them}} an Arizona nowhere town called "Prosperity"]] - which [[Film/DawnOfTheDead1978 just happens to have a mall, just so survivors can battle spiders with improvised weapons]]. There are mine shafts for that SurvivalHorror feel. There's even a [[ExtremeSportExcusePlot scene where jumping spiders chase dirt bikers]]. Get some popcorn and watch spiders gobble bystanders and get squished by the heroes! NarmCharm!

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!! This movie contains examples of:

* AbsurdlyYouthfulMother: Kari Wuhrer was 35 at the time of filming, but her character, Sheriff Samantha Parker, doesn't really look the part. It gets some explanation when her teenage daughter Ashley (played by then-18-years-old Scarlett Johansson) reveals during an argument between them that Sam got [[TeenPregnancy pregnant with her at age 16]].
* AffectionateParody: The film is one of old 50s mutant monster movies. It's not hard to notice that it doesn't take itself seriously.
** The spiders panting in exhaustion and squeaking "uh-oh" are pretty obvious signs.
** There is a scene where a spider jumps on a moose's head, mounted on a wall, and takes a bite, only to visibly complain about the taste.
** And then there was this advert: "If you're only going to see one film this summer about a [[Film/SpiderMan1 giant mutant spider]], make sure [[TakeThat it's the right one]]."
* AllWebbedUp: Being a movie about giant spiders, obviously this happens a lot of the time.
* AnalProbing: There's a bit where Harlan goes on a tirade about aliens and this very subject. Turns into a BrickJoke over the course of the movie.
--> '''Harlan''': ...I mean, what do they expect to find there? It's just wrong!
* AntlionMonster: One subset of the GiantSpider horde includes a small group of Trapdoor Spiders, who quickly begin snatching away people into their burrows when the whole town is under attack. One guy manages to get past them by throwing a ladder on top of the hole in front of him and walking his way across.
* ArbitrarySkepticism: Harlan believes in alien conspiracy theories, but thinks the emergence of giant spiders in the town is nonsense until he actually sees them - then he thinks they are in fact the aliens he was talking about. Lampshaded by Chris.
* ArtisticLicenseGunSafety: Most people of Prosperity obviously never learned how to properly handle a loaded gun, but the mall's janitor is easily the worst offender. When he's given Lee Harvey Oswald's rifle, he constantly keeps his finger on the trigger and the gun itself pointed at whoever's currently standing in front of him. Sam has to actually push the barrel out of her face so they can talk when she turns around to him.
* [[AttackOfTheKillerWhatever Attack Of The Killer]] [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever five-foot]] (for starters!) {{Giant Spider}}s!
* AutoErotica: Bret tries to have sex with Ashley in his pickup truck. She refuses. [[GroinAttack Emphatically]].
* BadassBiker: Bret shows some good motorcycle skills when he escapes from jumping spiders.
* BadassNormal: The main cast can be considered this, and a couple of supporting cast members by extension -- just a bunch of regular people caught up in the middle of a mutant spider apocalypse, doing everything they can to make sure they and their loved ones live to see another day.
* BadBoss: The giant tarantula accidentally stomps one of her spider goons flat without even noticing while she's on her way to tear down the gate into the mall.
* BigBad: Consuela, the female Orb Weaver, as far as an animal with animalistic instincts can be considered evil.
-->''"You know how women like breakfast in bed."''
* BookEnds: Harland's broadcast.
* TheCavalry: After Chris initially fails to convince the authorities of the graveness of the situation via 911, a small army of cops and firemen later waltzes in just in time to... do nothing - the spiders have already been defeated by that point.
* ChainsawGood: In a mall, Pete manages to lift the garage-door-style mesh that locked one of the stores, since the caretakers apparently neglected to lock it. He log rolls under and slams it down. However, the spiders reach their legs through, yanking him right up against the mesh but unable to bite him. His solution? Grab a nearby chainsaw and slice through all their limbs.
* ChekhovsGun: Bret's dirtbike.
** And the bottle of perfume.
** The taser gun - [[ChekhovsBoomerang twice.]]
* ConspiracyTheorist: Harlan, who believes the [[GiantSpider Giant Spiders]] are the alien invaders he has warned about his whole career. Amusingly, the county's ''entire emergency service force'' is apparently an avid fan of his show, so they fall under this category as well.
-->'''Harlan''': You ain't getting that anal probe near me!
* ConversationalTroping: Harlan, being a conspiracy theorist, assumes the spiders are aliens. On the second broadcast of his radio show, he talks about the anal probes. This movie has do to with neither aliens (as far as we know) nor AnalProbing.
* CoveredInGunge: Deputy Williams gets covered in increasing amounts of slimy greenish spider blood and intestines the longer the movie progresses.
* DateRapeAverted: While they are in his truck Bret gets very handsy with Ashley who refuses his advances and then zaps him with a taser that her mother gave to her in case this happened. Unusually, while the movie certainly depicts Bret as wrong and Ashley as right, it portrays his actions as being due to a moment of teenage hormone-driven boneheadedness rather than those of an evil rapist. Bret survives the entire film and he gets back with Ashley.
* DeathGlare: Combined with KubrickStare. [[UpToEleven Delivered with four big black-golden eyes at once!]] A visibly pissed-off jumping spider levels it at some escaping dirt bikers during the chase scene outside of town early on.
* DirtyCoward: Mayor Wade's approach to supporting his fellow citizens in defending the mall from the spider army? Sneak away to hide in the mines below the town and lock the door behind him.
* TheDragon: The giant tarantula apparently leads the spider army for Consuela.
* DyingMomentOfAwesome: Strangely, [[spoiler: Zeke the cat]]. His fight with a spider ''as big as he is'' just about destroys the drywall they're behind, and it's quite possible that he took the spider with him as the final seconds of their fight is shown to be shorting out the light they're above.
* EscortMission: Rescuing characters from a spider's lair deep in some abandoned mines.
* {{Expy}}: Chris bears a few similarities to Dewey from the ''Franchise/{{Scream}}'' films, another character played by David Arquette.
* FairCop: The sheriff is played by Kari Wuhrer, known for many MsFanservice roles. Lampshaded by the horndog teenagers when they call her "the sexiest sheriff in the county".
* FreudianSlip: After not having seen each other for years, Chris' attempt at asking his childhood crush Sam for a chance to catch up leaves his mouth as a request to ''hook up'' instead. Fortunately for him, she seems to find his slip more amusing than anything else and readily agrees to go out with him.
* GenreSavvy: Mike is the only one who knows fully well he's in a horror movie, and is well aware of what the spiders are gonna do. He's also well aware that no one will believe him, and lampshades it constantly.
* GiantSpider: The Movie.
* GlassSmackAndSlide: One spider attempts to jump through a shop window, only to smack "face"-first and spread-eagled into the glass, make a groggy noise and slide down slowly with an audible squeal while the people inside stare in disbelief.
* GroinAttack: With a taser.
* HeelFaceTurn: Bret starts off as a [[AllMenArePerverts sex-obsessed]] JerkAss, but ends up as a much nicer guy and even gets back together with his girlfriend. He plays SupportStaff to the Hero.
** Perhaps the taser [[GroinAttack to the balls]] acted as electroshock therapy.
* HeroicSacrifice: Subverted - twice. Both Pete and Harlan take it upon them to stay behind so others can escape the spider onslaught. Pete goes all OneManArmy on the critters and comes out unscathed (though CoveredInGunge); Harlan makes a mad dash through the milling hordes and disappears for an apparent OffscreenMomentOfAwesome to return alive and well after the movie's climax, and with the cops in tow to boot.
* IdiotBall: A diner full of customers, [[DullSurprise watching the spiders outside]]. When the spiders start jumping at the window, attempting to break through, nobody considers moving in any capacity until the spiders actually manage to do so.
* ImprobableAimingSkills: Sam's a damned good shot. Pistol, rifle, shotgun, crossbow; every result is the same - [[HighPressureBlood fountains of spider guts]]! Chris also shows off some pretty impressive skills with a shotgun, blasting a jumping spider out of the air from quite some distance away and without even properly aiming the thing.
* ImprobableWeaponUser: Chris again. When a spider climbs into Ashley's room and begins to cover her in webbing, he tries to fend it off with a wooden chair. The chair looses, but points for trying.
* ImprovisedZipline: And another one for Chris -- he uses his jacket and a radio tower's anchoring cable to make a smooth escape from a bunch of persuing spiders climbing up behind him. One of them attempts to follow him the same way. HilarityEnsues.
* IronicName: Prosperity, the rural town that's mere weeks away from being abandoned/relocated due to its flatlining economy.
* KarmaHoudini: Mayor Wade. After building a useless mall, trying to turn the town into a toxic waste dump, and locking the survivors in the mall when the spiders attack, Chris saves him. At least his stupid mall blows up.
* LetsGetDangerous: Subverted. As the townsfolk arm themselves in the mall, it looks like there's going to be a massive battle with the spiders. Then when the spiders break in, the vast majority are too scared to do anything and simply retreat en mass.
* TheMall: Built in an attempt to bring money into the town -- or, more specifically, to fill the pockets of the developers. Part of the climax takes place here.
* MayorPain: Wade has shades of both archetypes but leans more towards the evil side, what with his selling out the town to some shifty toxic waste disposal company without telling his citizens squat, and all of his previous plans that cost a lot of money and led nowhere.
* MightyGlacier: The tarantula is one of the biggest spiders alive, so of course the mutant tarantula becomes perhaps the biggest spider in the movie, with earth-shaking strength and the ability to knock over trailers with ease.
* NonMaliciousMonster: The spiders aren't evil; they kill for food, for territory (evidenced by a spider dueling Chris and his chair) or to satisfy the female spider as per their mating rituals.
* NoodleIncident: The town -- for reasons unknown even to them -- has Lee Harvey Oswald's rifle.
* OhCrap: Harlan when he looks out his trailer window and sees a massive tarantula.
* OutrunTheFireball: Towards the end of the movie. Chris and Gladys on a dirt bike escape an igniting mine shaft.
* ParentalNeglect: Bret obviously suffers from Wade's lack of interest in his son's life. When he tries to inform him that he's going out for the evening, not even quipping loudly that he might partake in an orgy and steal some cars elicits a noteworthy reaction from his father (who's arguing with his investors on the phone the whole time).
* RealityIsUnrealistic: The CGI artists had problems with the giant tarantula - scaling it up realistically turned it into an adorable fuzzy thing reminiscent of a high-quality stuffed animal. They had to remove more than half its hairs before the terrifying monster-truck-sized spider was noticeable beneath.
* RidiculouslyCuteCritter: The spiders of all things. Sure, they're giant man-eating beasts with way too many legs for comfort, but the way they behave when they're not currently eating someone is just plain adorable. They pant in exhaustion while chasing someone, they cough comically when they're forced to run through a dust cloud, and they make all kinds of funny noises during most other activities. When the swarm assaults the mall, one spider can be seen squatting on a wall post, beckoning the others on with two of its legs like a general of old waving his sword at the enemy lines. Another one uses a child's tent as disguise to sneak up on some poor guy, freezes when he turns around suspiciously, then continues when he looks away. Really, there are too many instances to list.
* RuleOfFun: It doesn't take itself too seriously plot wise.
* RuleOfScary
* ScrewThisImOuttaHere: The predominant reaction throughout the movie whenever someone is faced with one or more giant spiders. By the time the critters make their presence "officially" known by means of their ZergRush on Prosperity, the whole town (or what's left of it) hauls ass as quickly as they can. Even those characters with guns or other weapons eventually follow suit due to the spiders' sheer numbers. Unfortunately, spiders this size can run ''a lot'' faster than humans, and jumping spiders this size can leap very long distances, so unless you managed to get into a car, you're screwed anyway.
* ShownTheirWork: Most spiders have poor eyesight despite their eight eyes, but they make up for it with the ability to sense even the slightest vibration, be it through the ground (like prey moving around) or through the air (talking and other sounds). They also tend to flee when faced with intense scents. Therefore the best way to hide from giant spiders would probably be to stay as quiet and still as possible, and even the idea with the perfume might have some merit in a situation like this. Of course, all bets are off when jumping spiders show up - their primary eyes are huge, movable and specifically evolved for identifying and tracking prey.
* SpidersAreScary: For the citizens of Prosperity at least, and to most arachnophobes probably. To the remaining portion of viewers they're more likely to be adorable and funny instead of scary.
* SpiderSwarm: Par for the course.
* SuperPersistentPredator: Despite having a lair full of cocooned meals, the female spider at the end feels the need to chase down Chris and Gladys, who are on a MOTORCYCLE.
** Almost all of the spiders in the movie are this, really, as spiders are primarily ambush predators. Even the most active hunters, like the tarantula, aren't this speedy in pursuit of prey. Possibly justified by the toxic waste making them more aggressive and active.
* TakeThat: Creator/RogerEbert's [[http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20020717/REVIEWS/207170301/1023 review]] opened by saying that this film delivered everything that ''[[Film/MenInBlack Men In Black II]]'' did not.
* TemptingFate: After his cat got eaten, his wife left him, and his boss just crashed his after-work hours and instructed him to bring her every single gun the department has available, Deputy Williams just can't resist quipping that this situation couldn't possibly get any worse. The movie's grand finale commences shortly afterwards, naturally.
* TitleDrop: "Get back, you '''[[TitleScream EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS!]]'''"
** Interestingly, that line didn't start out as a TitleDrop; the title of the movie was originally ''Arach-Attack'' according to the commentary. Unfortunately, the title has UnfortunateImplications when said out loud (the movie came out not long after the war between America and ''Iraq'' started), [[InvertedTrope so the title was changed at the last minute to reflect the line]]--which was, incidentally, ''ad-libbed'' on-set by David Arquette.
** It still retained this title (or the alternate spelling ''Arac Attack'') in other countries.
*** Which itself gets titled dropped a couple of times throughout the movie.
* ThatPoorCat: We are treated to a cat getting into a fight with a spider of equal size. Most of it takes place in an air vent where we see the cat slammed against the wall multiple times.
* ThisLoserIsYou: David Arquette plays Chris [=McCormick=], a well-meaning, sensitive schmuck just trying to save what's left of his hometown and pour his heart out to his high school crush. Actually a rather respectful application of the trope; he listens carefully to the ChildProdigy, and runs right to him once he gets real evidence. He never fails to fight hard for the town. Result? ''KarmicJackpot.'' The girl, after one too many CanNotSpitItOut moments, exasperatingly admits that yes, she knows he beat up her philandering husband for her, came back to town because he genuinely wants to help, that he loves her, and that she loves him back. ''And then he finds the Mother Lode and makes the entire town filthy stinking rich!'' ''(Too bad a large majority of townspeople have become spider food by that point...)''
* ToxicWasteCanDoAnything: Spiders consume toxic waste. Spiders get taste for human and ability to grow far beyond their maximum size. The very end of the movie shows that the stuff also makes Deputy William's bald patch grow some new hair. The film gets a little slack as it has a strong comedic bent and doesn't take itself too seriously.
* TrailersAlwaysSpoil: As you'd expect. And the movie's damn fun anyway!
* TravelingPipeBulge: One of Chris' miners is hosing down a blast hole when the water suddenly stops coming. His solution to the problem is putting the hose to his mouth and sucking on it, all the while ''something'' can be seen moving ever closer through the otherwise slack hose. Needless to say his fate isn't pretty.
%%* VaporWear
* ZergRush: The jumping spiders. Additionally, the mall scene where the spiders simply plow into the mall.

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