->''"Welcome to Hell, Blofeld."''
-->-- '''Film/JamesBond'''

->''"Curious... how everyone who touches those diamonds seems to die."''
-->-- '''Mr. Wint'''

%% The site owner himself has discussed TheOneWith and said they should stay. Please leave them alone.
[[TheOneWith The one where]] Connery came back (for the last time in the official series).
%% The site owner himself has discussed TheOneWith and said they should stay. Please leave them alone.

'''''Diamonds Are Forever''''' is the seventh ''Film/JamesBond'' film, starring SeanConnery in his last (and least regarded) Eon series appearance. After Bond kills Blofeld in the opening sequence, he is assigned to an international diamond-smuggling case. A huge amount of diamonds have been stolen from the South African mines and two CampGay assassins are killing everyone in the smuggling ring ladder, rung by rung. Bond infiltrates the group by managing to kill smuggler Peter Franks and poses as him in an effort to find out what is going on. He discovers that the head of the smuggling ring is none other than a not-so-dead-after-all Ernst Stavro Blofeld, who found a way to create body doubles of himself through plastic surgery. The diamond smuggling is revealed to be part of a plan by to build a KillSat and hold the world hostage.

Of note, Sean Connery, who was done with the series after ''Film/YouOnlyLiveTwice'', was lured back to playing Bond [[MoneyDearBoy thanks to a massive paycheck.]] He used half of it to establish a charity to support deprived children in Edinburgh. When asked if he would ever play the character after this, Connery replied "Never again." This later served as [[HilariousInHindsight inspiration]] for the title of the unofficial Bond film ''Film/NeverSayNeverAgain''.

Parts of the first ''AustinPowers'' movie are a direct spoof of ''Diamonds Are Forever'', including the Las Vegas setting and the casino sequence, the miniature models displaying the reach of the villain's businesses, the Russian-accented countdown, and the RoomDisservice sneak-attack against the hero at the end of the film.


* AccidentalAimingSkills: {{Mook}}s come into Bond's hotel room where he's meeting with a woman, and toss her out the glass door and off the balcony, where she falls about 100 feet to land dead center in the hotel pool. In response to Bond's [[LampshadeHanging lampshading]] that it was a fantastic shot, the astonished mook admits, "I didn't know there was a pool there!"
* ActuallyADoombot: Blofeld has been using plastic surgery to turn henchmen into doubles to fool Bond. It works, and Bond kills two of them mistaking them for the real deal, plus a third in the first scene who is in between procedures.
* AmericaSavesTheDay: U.S. helicopters attack Blofeld's oil rig.
* AnimalAssassin: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd use a scorpion to kill Dr. Tynan.
* TheAnticipator: Bond drops into Willard Whyte's penthouse suite and, having been observed by Blofeld, is greeted by Willard Whyte (actually Blofeld with a disguised voice) with the words, 'Howdy. Welcome, son. We've been expecting you'.
* AntiLoveSong: ''I don't need love/For what good will love do me?...''
* ArtisticLicenseBiology: Dr. Tyan is killed by a scorpion sting and dies almost instantly. Most scorpion stings aren't fatal, and even then can take hours to kill.
* ArtisticLicenseGeography: Someone mentions "Nairobi, ''in South Africa''". Even if they didn't mean the republic, the city is in ''east'' Africa.
* ArtisticLicenseHistory: The first laser was generated using a '''ruby''', not a diamond.
* ArtisticLicensePhysics \ ConvectionSchmonvection: Shady Tree opens Bond's coffin without any problem, even though it would be hot as hell since it had just come out of a crematorium...
* AssShove: "Alimentary, my dear Leiter."
* AuctionOfEvil: "An international auction, with nuclear supremacy going to the highest bidder."
%% AwesomeMusic goes on AwesomeMusic/JamesBond
* BANGFlagGun: Kidd and Wint use one to kill Shady Tree in a deleted scene.
* BavarianFireDrill: "Klaus Hergesheimer - G Section"
* TheBigBoard: Willard Whyte's financial holdings.
* BodyguardBabes: Bambi and Thumper. No, really, those are their names.
* BondOneLiner: Oh, so many. Many aren't even by Bond, but Kidd and Wint.
* BuryYourGays: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd
** Mr. Kidd's death doubles as a StealthPun: since he's [[{{KillItWithFire}} burned to death by shish kebab flambés]], he qualifies as a...(wait for it!)..."flaming homosexual."
* {{Camp}}: Lots of it.
* CampGay: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd.
* CampStraight: Charles Gray's portrayal of Blofeld is decidedly more Camp than in previous films. He's even in drag at one point in the film.
* CantKillYouStillNeedYou: Shady Tree rescues James Bond from Albert Wint and Charles Kidd's incineration attempt on him because he had passed phony diamonds on to Shady, and Shady wants the real stuff. Albert R. Saxby tries to rescue Shady Tree in the same manner, but as James soon finds out, Saxby had talked the two assassins down too late and Shady had already been shot in the head by Mr. Wint.
* CarSkiing: While being pursued by Las Vegas police Bond uses a ramp to put his car up on two wheels to fit through an alley that would normally be too narrow. The police car following him also tries it but flips over on its roof instead.
* CementShoes: How [[spoiler:Plenty O'Toole]] dies.
* ChairReveal: After Bond enters Willard Whyte's penthouse apartment, Blofeld reveals himself by spinning his chair around.
* ChekhovsGun: Tiffany Case's black wig.
* CloneByConversion: Blofeld attempts this at the start. Bond subverts the trope by drowning the would-be clone in mud.
* CollapsingLair: Willard Whyte's oil rig, as a result of the helicopter attack.
* ContinuityNod: Bond's RoaringRampageOfRevenge at the start of the film seems to have been motivated by [[spoiler: Blofeld killing Tracy]] at the end of the [[Film/OnHerMajestysSecretService last movie]].
* CreepyMonotone: The guy counting down the satellite in the final scene
* DeadPersonImpersonation: Bond, as Peter Franks. Inverted when Bond switches wallets with Franks in Amsterdam.
* DeadpanSnarker: The entire film is practically a war of snark between Bond and Blofeld.
* DistractedByTheSexy: {{Lampshaded}}, as Blofeld asks Tiffany to put something on over her revealing bikini, saying "I've come too far to have the aim of my crew affected by the sight of a pretty body.".
* DisneyVillainDeath: Peter Franks.
* TheDragon: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd as well as Bert Saxby and Bambi and Thumper.
* DragonTheirFeet: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd. For that matter, they and Blofeld are never onscreen at the same time, nor are they ever seen directly communicating with him.
* DressingAsTheEnemy: In the opening segment Bond [[MuggedForDisguise takes out one of Blofeld's doctors and steals his clothing]] so he can infiltrate an operation room.
* DroppedABridgeOnHim: Blofeld, assuming that you count his final demise as happening in this film. In fairness, they were apparently planning to bring him back for one last outing in the next film, but Kevin [=McClory=] demanded that the producers stop using Blofeld. He is finally KilledOffForReal in the BondColdOpen of [[spoiler:''Film/ForYourEyesOnly'']], though for legal reasons the studio couldn't confirm that until decades later and he is credited as "man in wheelchair".
* ElevatorActionSequence: Bond's lethal fight with smuggler Peter Franks.
* ExpospeakGag: Q demonstrated his slot machine tampering gizmo to Tiffany Case, that is until she got up and followed a lady holding a Persian cat.
* EverythingsSparklyWithJewelry: Including {{Kill Sat}}s.
* FakeOutMakeOut: Bond does this with ''himself''.
* FamedInStory: After Bond disposes of Peter Franks he switches wallets with the body. When Tiffany Case inspects the corpse and finds the wallet her first reaction is a disbelieving "You just killed James Bond!" Given how often Bond drops his name in the films, it makes sense that he'd develop something of a reputation.
* FieryRedhead: Tiffany Case, when Bond first meets her.
* TheFilmOfTheBook: The second film where they started taking serious liberties with the source material (the first being ''Film/YouOnlyLiveTwice''); not necessarily worse, but still noticed. For instance, Blofeld and SPECTRE are not in [[Literature/DiamondsAreForever the novel]] - the villains are the smuggling ring The Spangled Mob.
* {{Fingore}}: The "mousetrap" Bond carries in his jacket at the beginning seems to slice the henchman's fingers off.
* {{Foreshadowing}}: Several examples.
* FrickinLaserBeams: On Blofeld's KillSat.
%% FridgeBrilliance is on YMMV/DiamondsAreForever
%% FridgeLogic is on YMMV/DiamondsAreForever
* GemEncrusted: The KillSat itself.
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar: Bond's line after he's held up at gunpoint in his hotel room with Plenty: "Well, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up."
* GoGoEnslavement: Bond arrives on Blofeld's base to find Tiffany in a bikini.
* GoodIsDumb: Tiffany Case after her HighHeelFaceTurn.
* GoodSmokingEvilSmoking: Blofeld uses a cigarette holder; he ''must'' be evil.
* GrapplingHookPistol: Bond's "mountaineering about" outside Willard Whyte's penthouse.
* GroinAttack
** Thumper knees Bond in the groin off camera.
** Bond squeezes Wint's groin while tying his hands and the bomb together with his coattails, causing Wint to squeal with delight before he has a chance to realize that he's screwed.
%% HeyItsThatGuy is on Trivia/DiamondsAreForever
* HighHeelFaceTurn: Diamond smuggler Tiffany Case after she falls in love with Bond. It's the only thing that keeps her alive and out of prison.
%% HighOctaneNightmareFuel is on YMMV/DiamondsAreForever
%% HoYay is on YMMV/DiamondsAreForever
* TheInfiltration
* ImpersonationGambit - Bond infiltrates the diamond smuggling operation by impersonating Case's contact, Peter Franks. Naturally, this necessitates a bit of [[NoKillLikeOverkill improvisation]] when the real Peter Franks comes calling.
* ImprobableAimingSkills: The thug who throws Plenty O'Toole out a hotel window.
-->''"I didn't know there was a pool down there."''
* InstantSedation: Bond and the KnockoutGas in Willard Whyte's elevator.
* JustBetweenYouAndMe: Both subverted and played straight.
* KaleidoscopeHair: When Bond first meets Tiffany at her apartment, he's perplexed to see her change from [[VisualPun a blonde to a brunette to a redhead in quick order.]]
* KarmaHoudini: Mr. Slumber, possibly, though it is feasible Blofeld had him killed offscreen just like all the other "links" in the pipeline.
* KillItWithFire: The final fate of Mr. Kidd (well, he probably drowned, but only because he was trying to put the fire out).
* KillSat: Now, with [[EverythingsBetterWithSparkles sparkles!]]
* MeaningfulName: Plenty O'Toole, Bambi, and Thumper.
* MineralMacGuffin: The diamonds Blofeld needs for his {{KillSat}}'s FrickinLaserBeams.
* MinionShipping: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd. Possibly Bambi and Thumper also, given their indifference to Bond's charms.
* MinorCrimeRevealsMajorPlot: Diamond smuggling -> Hold the world for ransom.
* MoneySong: ''Diamonds are forever/They are all I need to [[FetishFuel please me/They can stimulate and tease me]]...''
* MsFanservice: Tiffany Case and Plenty O'Toole. Justified since it is a James Bond movie.
* MuggedForDisguise: During the opening sequence Bond takes out a doctor and steals his medical clothing so he can investigate inside a building.
* MurderByCremation: Attempted, but failed.
* MurderousThighs: Whyte's bodyguard Bambi subjects Bond to hers.
* NakedFreakOut: Plenty O'Toole (see below)
* NakedPeopleAreFunny: Close enough. Plenty O'Toole is almost completely naked when she gets thrown out the window and lands in the pool, and before that with her arms folded protectively over her chest while she screamed in humiliated protest was clearly played for laughs.
%% {{Narm}} is on YMMV/DiamondsAreForever
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: Willard Whyte for Howard Hughes (in fact, the plot emerged from a dream Broccoli had, where he went visiting his friend Hughes and an impostor was there instead).
* NoOneCouldSurviveThat: [[spoiler:Blofeld at the end. Indeed it ''was'' going to be revealed he survived, but then the rights issues reared their ugly head]].
* ObviousStuntDouble: In the scene where Willard Whyte's two female captors dive into the pool after Bond, Thumper is clearly not the same woman as the actress who was playing her earlier.
* PinkMeansFeminine: Plenty O'Toole wears pink sheer panties.
* PoorCommunicationKills: "Your problems are all behind you now...".
* PostClimaxConfrontation: With Wint and Kidd.
* PowerMakesYourHairGrow: Between [[Film/OnHerMajestysSecretService the last movie]] and this one, Blofeld somehow usurped Willard Whyte's vast empire, and suddenly...
* PrettyInMink: Tiffany is covered by a white fox throw in one scene.
* PunchClockVillain: Dr. Metz.
* PunnyName: Tiffany Case.
* RedAlert: At the U.S. missile base just before Blofeld's KillSat attacks.
* RedRightHand: Looks like Blofeld's cat(s) has (have) heterochromia i.e. eyes of two different colors.
* RightHandCat: Belonging to Blofeld.
* RoaringRampageOfRevenge: Bond goes on this at the start of the film presumably to [[ContinuityNod avenge]] [[Film/OnHermajestysSecretService his wife]].
* RoomDisservice: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd try this on Bond and Tiffany Case.
* ScullyBox: Lana Wood needed one when on screen with Sean Connery.
%% Sequelitis is on YMMV/DiamondsAreForever
* SexFaceTurn: Tiffany Case, with James Bond.
* ShamefulStrip: Arguably happens to Plenty O'Toole after Bond takes her back to hotel room, but the real shame came not so much from the act of Bond stripping Plenty down to her ''bare essentials'' but rather came from Plenty being caught after the fact.
* SheFu: Bambi and Thumper
* ShootOutTheLock: A padlock on the door to Willard Whyte's room is shot off to free him.
* SimpleScoreOfSadness: Used whenever we see Mr. Wynn and Mr. Kidd.
* SpySpeak: "Quarterback to Tight End. Operation Passover commence."
* StabTheSalad: Mr. Wint and his icepick-like cork removing device.
* StormingTheCastle: Armed helicopters vs. a heavily armed oil platform.
* StraightGay: While Mr. Wint could be said to be vaguely swishy (though not really for the time), Mr. Kidd is so un-flamboyant, you'd never guess he's gay if not for the "For a lady" scene.
* SwissCheeseSecurity: Around Willard Whyte's laboratory where the KillSat was constructed.
* TapOnTheHead: Bond is knocked out after placing the diamonds in a compartment.
* TechnologyMarchesOn: The codes that control the satellite are stored on a tape cassette that protrudes prominently in Tiffany's bikini bottom. Today, a flash drive would've been more discrete, though there'd still be the communication SNAFU between Bond and Tiffany.
* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill: Inverted, some guy is threatening world governments with a satellite-mounted laser guided from fortified offshore oil rig, and all the US government responds with is [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_UH-1_Iroquois utility]]/[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hughes_H-6 observer]] helicopters armed with rockets. Granted, bombers would have greatly shortened the climax of the movie.
%% TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot is on YMMV/DiamondsAreForever
* ThoseTwoBadGuys: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd again.
* TimeBomb: Used twice by Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd - first to destroy the diamond-smuggling helicopter, and at the end in an attempt to kill Bond and Tiffany Case.
* TrapDoor: Subverted when Bond [[WrongGenreSavvy suspects one of these in an elevator]], only to be gassed instead.
* TreasureChestCavity: The diamonds are smuggled into the US inside Peter Franks' body.
* TwoRightsMakeAWrong: Bond and Tiffany both have the idea of swapping the control tape for Blofeld's KillSat with a fake. Result: the real tape gets swapped right back into the machine.
%% ValuesDissonance is on YMMV/DiamondsAreForever
* VictoriasSecretCompartment: What Tiffany lacks in subtlety, she makes up for in cheek. [[FanService Such nice cheeks, too]]...
* VillainousCrossdresser: [[BrainBleach Blofeld does this as a disguise to escape.]]
* VillainousRescue: Bond is only saved from being cremated because Shady Tree asks to take him out, as the diamonds were fake.
* VisualPun: When Bond meets Tiffany, she changes hair color twice in his presence, like [[BlondeBrunetteRedhead a trope about a trio of female characters...]]
* VivaLasVegas
* VoiceChangeling: Both Blofeld and James Bond use voice duplicating machines to fool other people.
* VoodooShark: Bond tilts a car to get through a narrow alley, from which it exits tilted the other way. This was considered so obvious that a shot was inserted showing the car flipping around, despite this clearly being impossible.
* WelcomeToHell: Bond to Blofeld after he apparently kills him. Yeah, [[JokerImmunity not really]].
%% WhatAnIdiot is on YMMV/DiamondsAreForever
* WhatNowEnding: "James, how the hell do we get those diamonds down again?"
* WholePlotReference: ''Film/DieAnotherDay'' pretty much takes the plot of this one lock, stock and barrel.
* WholesomeCrossdresser: Blofeld sure looks like a kindly old lady in that getup...
* WickedCultured: Blofeld loves his smokes and [[DeadpanSnarker quips]].
* WiperStart: Bond does this twice. First, when he jumps into the moon rover, he doesn't know how to start it. Second, when he hops into the crane lowering Blofeld's escape sub, he doesn't know how to operate it and drops the sub into the water.
* WouldHitAGirl: Or at least choke one.
* WrongGenreSavvy: Bond suspects an elevator he was forced into to have a trapdoor, so he backs right up against the wall. Unfortunately he's gassed instead.
* YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness: Blofeld sends assassins to dispose of the members of his diamond smuggling ring.
* YouLookFamiliar: Charles Gray (Blofeld) earlier played a British agent in ''Film/YouOnlyLiveTwice''. Ironically, said agent is murdered by SPECTRE, so he is basically playing the man ultimately responsible for his own death.