->''"It's a lie. It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and... All the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it's beautiful 'cause that's what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone... But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so... The exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie."''

''Closer'' is a 2004 film directed by Creator/MikeNichols and based on a 1997 play by English playwright Patrick Marber, starring Creator/JuliaRoberts, Creator/JudeLaw, Creator/NataliePortman, and Creator/CliveOwen.

Basically, it's a romantic drama set in contemporary London about two opposing sets of couples: Dan (Law) and Alice (Portman), and Larry (Owen) and Anna (Roberts), and their infidelities and heartbreak in a classic love square. It's better than it sounds. [[BestKnownForTheFanservice Its most famous scene is arguably the one where Alice is a pink-wigged stripper.]]

Owen and Portman received UsefulNotes/AcademyAward nominations, and won Golden Globe Awards, for their performances, with Owen also snagging a UsefulNotes/{{BAFTA}} Award.


!! Tropes:

* AdaptationDistillation: Patrick Marber wrote the screenplay based on his own play, trimming off a lot of the fat in the process. [[ExecutiveMeddling Pity about the ending though...]]
* BettyAndVeronicaSwitch: Both men have the choice between the wise, steady photographer Anna and the vivacious, flirtatious 'waif' Alice, but it's flipped around in that ''Anna'' is the one who can't remain faithful to either of her lovers, while Alice is committed to Dan.
* BetweenMyLegs: In Alice's scene in the club, while she's putting on her outfit.
* BittersweetEnding: Heavy on the bitter. Dan and Alice break off their relationship [[spoiler: and she's been lying about her name the entire time,]] Anna is still unhappily married to Larry, and Alice returns to New York alone but free of the relationship drama.
* {{Bookends}}: The movie opens with Alice walking down a London street to "The Blower's Daughter," and ends with her walking [[spoiler: through New York's Times Square]] at the end.
* BrutalHonesty: Everyone at one point or another, but Larry almost all the time.
* CassandraTruth: [[spoiler: "My name is Jane", Alice's repeated response to Larry's query as to her real name. He thinks that she's insisting on sticking to her stripper persona.]]
* CountryMatters: Larry plainly and forwardly asks Alice what her cunt tastes like. She replies "heaven." The word is also occasionally tossed around as an insult.
* CrapsackWorld: Everyone in this movie has varying levels of unhappiness with their love life (and for Dan and Alice, professionally, as well), and ends with an uneasy closure on that same note.
* DeadpanSnarker: Everyone, pretty much. It's that kind of script.
* DownerEnding: The original play's ending. [[spoiler: Alice dies.]]
* EmpathicEnvironment: Dreary, gray London seems to coincide with most of the character's situations. In particular, the pouring rain when Dan shows up at Larry's office to tearfully beg him to let Anna come back to him. And bright, sunny New York mirroring Alice's fresh start.
* {{Fanservice}}: The strip club scene.
* {{GIRL}}: The spark that sets Larry and Anna's relationship is Dan masquerading as Anna in a cybersex chat room.
* [[AGoodNameForARockBand A Good Name for a Song]]: Music/PanicAtTheDisco and Music/FallOutBoy both took inspiration from the film: The songs "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" and "But It's Better If You Do" form a quote from the aforementioned stripping scene. The line "He tastes like you, only sweeter" in "Thnks fr th Mmrs" is, in the film, Anna's response to Larry's question of what Dan's ejaculate tastes like. The line "I love everything about you that hurts" in G.I.N.A.S.F.S is taken from the aforementioned pink wigged stripper scene.
* {{Hypocrite}}: Dan, in spades. First, he's stunned to learn that Anna slept with Larry again. Apparently it's okay for Anna to cheat ''with'' him, but not ''on'' him. He can't get over it and it's implied that this contributed to Anna leaving him. Then, he's equally floored when Larry reveals that he and Alice slept together and can't get over that either, causing their reconciliation to fail. This after breaking Alice's heart by emotionally cheating on her for a year (during which he was essentially stalking Anna), ''physically'' cheating on her for another year, and only getting back together with her after Anna dumped him (meaning she's clearly nothing more than his second choice) but he can't accept that she slept with someone else (Anna's cuckolded husband, no less) during a time when they were ''not together.''
** Larry, too. Not two seconds after admitting to having cheated on Anna with a prostitute, he's flipping out when she admits to her affair with Dan.
* {{Jerkass}}: The four main characters have all their moments of jerkassery, particularly Larry. Alice / [[spoiler: Jane]] on the other hand has a couple of JerkWithAHeartOfGold moments.
* InformedAttractiveness: Alice's final scene, in which nearly every man she passes as walks down the street is awestruck at the sight of her.
* LineOfSightName: [[spoiler: Alice, real name Jane Jones]] takes [[spoiler: her]] name after a person commemorated in real life in Postman's Park.
* LoveMakesYouCrazy: And [[LoveMakesYouEvil evil]], and [[LoveMakesYouDumb bloody stupid...]]
-->"Have you ever seen the human heart? It looks like a fist soaked in blood."
* LoveTriangle: Repeatedly.
* ManicPixieDreamGirl: Alice tries very hard to be one of these.
* MinimalistCast
* NoodleIncident: Anna alludes to an abusive relationship in her past, but no other details are given.
* OnlySaneMan: Alice. She has enough common sense to leave Dan the minute he admits to his infidelity, rebuffing his lame excuses, to reject Larry (initially), knowing full well that they'd only be seeking a pointless revenge against their cheating exes, to dump Dan for good when she realizes their reconciliation won't work, and to finally go home to escape the crazy, unhappy situation and make a fresh start.
* ScarpiaUltimatum: Larry demands sex from Anna in exchange for signing their divorce papers.
* SlutShaming: Anna indicates that Larry treats her like a whore in bed. He sarcastically snarls, "I wonder why?", essentially telling her that she ''is'' one, then tops off their argument by calling her a "fucked up slag".
* StalkingIsLove: Dan tries this with Anna, for a whole year. It works.
* SympatheticAdulterer: Played with. While no one's cheating is made out to be okay, they aren't vilified for it either.
* TimeSkip: Frequently, and only revealed by the characters dialogue.
* WhamLine: Plenty, usually revealing a character's adultery.
* WhamShot: The plaque with the name Alice Ayres. Cue Dan's stunned look as he realizes he has no idea who he was dating for four years.
* WouldHitAGirl: Anna mentions having been hit in a previous relationship and Dan slaps Alice after she spits on him, officially putting the nail in the coffin of their relationship.
* YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre: Larry suspects that Anna's behavior is because she doesn't feel that she deserves to be loved, but he emphatically tells her, "You ''do''!"
* YourCheatingHeart: And how. Out of the four characters, Alice is the only one who neither cheats on nor with anyone (Larry is separated from Anna and Alice has left Dan by the time he and Alice sleep together).