->"Excitement? Why, I got more arrows in the back of that coach than a porcupine has got stickers!"
-->'''Calamity Jane'''

A 1953 movie musical based on the famous gunslinger, ''Calamity Jane'' starred Doris Day as the title character and Howard Keel as Wild Bill Hickok. One of the film's songs, "Secret Love", became an Oscar-winning hit song for Day.

Calamity Jane comes to the town of Deadwood, South Dakota one day. She decides to revitalize the local saloon by bringing them Chicago star Adelaide Adams. Unfortunately, she instead brings them Adelaide's maid, Katie Brown, whom she found trying on her costumes. Katie becomes a hit with everyone, including Jane's secret love, Lt. Daniel Gilmartin. A rivalry for his affections with Katie ensues.

!!This film features examples of:
* ActuallyPrettyFunny: Calamity finds Katie mistaking her for a man to be hilarious, until [[LadyLooksLikeADude the implications]] sink in.
* AndImTheQueenOfSheba: The small-town theatre hall owner in Deadwood sarcastically says this when Calamity asks why he doesn't send for Adelaide Adams.
-->'''Calamity:''' Why don't you send for her?\\
'''Henry:''' ''Sure.'' Why don't I send for the Queen of Sheba?\\
'''Bill:''' Yeah.\\
'''Calamity:''' [[SarcasmBlind ...No good. They want Adelaide!]]
* BattleCouple: Considering how Calamity Jane and Bill Hickok are skilled gunslingers and like trouble, you'd think they'd turn out to be this couple in an instant, but it's implied to be averted after they get together as both of them want to settle down and raise children. They've been close friends for quite some time, so it's not outlandish to assume that they played this straight at some point.
--> '''Bill's friend:''' I don't know what kinda life you're gonna have living with that catamount, Bill, but it ain't gonna be dull!
--> '''Bill:''' That's fer dang sure.
* BelligerentSexualTension: Jane and Bill have this.
* BetaCouple: Katie and Danny.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: When Katie does a big talk on how she has to go no matter what and heads to pack, a baffled Jane turns to the camera.
--> '''Calamity''': I got me the strange feeling someone's getting hustled!
* DoesNotLikeMen: Jane has a song about this in the ScreenToStageAdaptation.
* DraggedIntoDrag: Francis Fryer appears on stage as "Frances", but not willingly.
-->'''Wild Bill Hickock:''' She ain't very good lookin'.
-->'''Calamity Jane:''' That ain't all she ain't.
* HistoricalBeautyUpdate: The RealLife Calamity Jane didn't look like Doris Day ''at all.'' In fact, photos of the time show she looked more like Howard Keel. No, really; Martha Jane Cannary looked more like a man than a woman.
* LadyLooksLikeADude: Due to her masculine appearance, Katie initially mistakes Jane for a man.
* LastSecondWordSwap: From "I Can Do Without You": ''You can go to... Philadelphia''. Calamity's hesitation implies she wanted [[{{Hell}} a word]] that rhymes with the third syllable of "Philadelphia".
* LoveTriangle: Jane and Katie over Danny.
* NoManOfWomanBorn: When Bill is forced to dress like a female Indian at the saloon, everyone laughs out loud. Angered, Bill pulls out a gun and warns he'll "put a bullet in the next man who laughs." Instant silence... except for Calamity, who keeps laughing hysterically.
* ObliviousToLove: Calamity fails to notice that Bill is in love with her, and that Danny isn't.
* SheCleansUpNicely: ''Everyone'' reacts this way to seeing Jane in a dress.
* TheSavageIndian: Jane brags about the many she has fought and killed.
* TomboyAndGirlyGirl: Jane and Katie.
* WeddingsForEveryone: Katie and Danny, along with Jane and Bill.
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