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->''People go up river, big snake is very hungry. Guess what happens.''
-->--The '''NZ Listener's''' twelve-word review of '''''Anaconda'''''

''Anaconda'' is a 1997 monster movie with an AllStarCast ranging from Owen Wilson to Jon Voight to Music/JenniferLopez to Music/IceCube on the hunt (in their own various ways) for the eponymous giant snake. Largely notable for Jon Voight as Paul Sarone, [[LargeHam chewing up scenery]] with a far greater appetite than any serpent could muster.

There were three sequels which oddly enough [[ArcWelding Arc Welded]] itself across three movies:

* ''Film/AnacondasTheHuntForTheBloodOrchid'' (2004): Which had a company sending a team into Borneo to find a flower that was supposedly the fountain of youth. Not surprisingly they have to contend with the numerous anacondas to get it.

* ''Anaconda 3: The Offspring'' (2008): In which one of the anacondas was captured and experimented on to find out its longevity. It escapes, breaks out its mate and goes on a rampage (made more deadly due to the fact that these anacondas have spear tails from the experiments...no we're not making that up) some mercenaries are sent to get it back. Notable for staring David Hassleholf

* ''Anacondas: Trail of Blood'' (2009): Which continues where 3 left off. The offspring of the previous anaconda is found and used to help make the flower. The anaconda breaks out once again while the employer from the last movie sends more mercenaries after the scientist who took the anaconda for his own to get the fountain of youth serum. All the while a previous character from the last movie is looking to destroy it. Yeah its just as confusing and convoluted as it sounds. Oh the snake can regenerate in this one.

The latter two movies were direct-to-video, and all three sequels are considered worse than the original. A fourth sequel which will also be a crossover with ''LakePlacid'' will be released in 2014.

Will be "starring" in a Podcast/RiffTrax Live show on October 30, 2014.

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!! ''Anaconda'' provides examples of:

* ArtisticLicenseBiology: Oh so very much, all in the name of the RuleOfScary. Among other things:
** Anacondas don't grow that damn big.
** They don't move at the speed of a cheetah in chase.
** They don't predominantly prey on humans, especially after [[SuperPersistentPredator encountering life-threatening resistance each time]].
** They don't eat multiple preys the size of a human being one after the other. After consuming a meal like that (which can take hours), the snake will find a secure location where it will remain immobile for months to digest its food.
** [[NoisyNature They hiss, but they don't squeal/roar.]]
** They certainly don't regurgitate their prey just so they can hunt again [[ForTheEvulz out of sheer sadism]]. They sometimes do this for safety purposes, such as when they're threatened by a predator and they can't afford to be lethargic by having such a big meal in their stomach.
** They're ''constrictors,'' they don't just grab their prey and swallow it. Even when they find a ''dead'' animal, they'll usually constrict it first just to be safe.
* TheAmazon: Despite its authentic Portuguese cursing ("filho da..."), infamous for its upward waterfall although it could be an optical illusion. However, the whole waterfall thing is a crock.
* BetterToDieThanBeKilled: Danny Trejo's nameless poacher in the opening is attacked by an Anaconda intent on eating him. When it corners him at the top of the boat's mast, he shoots himself to prevent himself from being digested alive.
* BigBadEnsemble: The Anaconda would be the most logical choice as the main villain and kills the most people, but Sarone manipulated everyone to capture the snake and murdered a fair number of people for profit himself.
* BigDamnHeroes: [[spoiler:The team leader is knocked unconscious by a poisonous wasp near the beginning of the film and remains in bed for much of the remainder. He eventually reappears to fight off Paul Sarone, who was about to kill the others for costing him to the Anaconda's prize by killing it.]]
* BlackDudeDiesFirst: Averted. [[spoiler:The Token Black guy is one of only 3 people to survive.]]
* CelebrityParadox: An Ice Cube song is heard on the radio.
* CruelAndUnusualDeath: The Anaconda's killing method is downright horriffic; ReptilesAreAbhorrent is certainly at play here. Dying at its hands according to one expert involves being constricted by the snake's coils so hard that eventually your bones break and your veins burst. That's if you're lucky. You might also survive, only to be EatenAlive afterwards, to be slowly digested or spit out again.
* DaylightHorror: In the second half of the movie, the Anaconda repeatedly attacks in broad daylight, devouring still-living people whole.
* {{Determinator}}: Paul Sarone has one objective on his mind: capture an Anaconda and sell it to a rich buyer. He'll do anything and sacrifice anyone to achieve that goal, even after he's presumed dead.
* DidntThinkThisThrough: Even if Sarone had caught the snake there was no way he could have kept it alive and transported it.
* DueToTheDead: Subverted. Sarone was a [[SinisterMinister former priest]], so he holds a eulogy for a recently deceased crew member after the Anaconda devoured him in front of everyone. However, his prayer is so half-hearted and insincere that [[{{Jerkass}} he just comes off as a prick instead]], especially since Sarone is directly responsible for the guy's death and his weeping girlfriend is sitting right next to him.
* DwindlingParty: The cast gets picked off by the Anaconda one by one. It turns out [[spoiler:that Sarone had set this up from the start; the crew were his bait for the snake all along.]]
* EatenAlive: Rather contrary to how real Anacondas behave, the one in this film seems to eat its prey still living after constricting them for a short while. One of the victims even gets spit out and has just enough energy left to wink at the heroine.
* EvilPoacher: Paul Sarone is a Paraguayan former priest who decided to become a snake poacher in the Amazon instead, capturing them for rich clients. [[spoiler:It's revealed that he's been manipulating the whole crew from the beginning and was using them to capture the Anaconda.]]
* FaceDeathWithDignity: Subverted. The tied-up Sarone is about to be murdered by a vengeful Denise because he let the Anaconda eat her boyfriend, and he seems willing to accept his impending death and gives her some advice on never looking your victim in the eye. [[spoiler:He's just using it to catch her off-guard and [[MurderousThighs strangle her with his thighs]].]]
* {{Fanservice}}: Very early on in the movie, there is a scene of Jennifer Lopez in a see-through slip with nothing on underneath.
* ForTheEvulz: The opening scroll implies that ''[[ReptilesAreAbhorrent the Anaconda itself]]'' is sadistic, as it regurgitates its prey just for the pleasure of hunting and killing something again. It actually does this in the climax with one unlucky guy, and the victim is still alive after having been devoured.
* GracefulLoser: Oddly, [[spoiler: Sarone ''after'' he's been eaten. He engages in some friendly GallowsHumor when the anaconda regurgitates him for a moment, winking at the protagonists.]]
* HazardousWater: The Amazon water is downright lethal; besides a giant man-eating reptile making it hazardous to even move in, the characters also mention various other nasties that could attack a swimmer like parasitic fish and poisonous wasps.
-->'''Gary:''' There's something down there.\\
'''Sarone:''' I know.\\
'''Gary:''' No, I really mean it.\\
'''Sarone:''' [[SincerityMode I really mean it too.]]
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: [[spoiler:After Sarone tries to feed a bunch of people to the biggest Anaconda to capture it, the Anaconda escapes from its restraints and pursues him instead, eating him whole.]]
* HoneyTrap: Terri tries one of these on the manipulative Sarone, who by then has pretty much taken over the whole expedition. DoubleSubverted, as it's so obvious (she has shown nothing but contempt for him up to that point) that Sarone knows immediately that they're trying to distract him to [[TapOnTheHead knock him out]]. He catches them and kisses her anyway, but gets knocked out by a second guy he didn't foresee.
* ImpendingDoomPOV:
** Played straight in the opening, with the Anaconda pursuing Danny Trejo's nameless character around his boat shown from its own POV.
** Played with in a later scene, as the looming creature coming after Owen Wilson and Kari Wuhrer [[spoiler:turns out to be a wild boar, not the snake. She'd turn up later.]]
* InstantDramaJustAddTracheotomy: The team leader puts on some scuba gear and gets in the water to fix the motor, but is stung by a poisonous wasp which blocks his throat. He's quickly hoisted back on board and saved by Sarone, who performs an improptu tracheotomy. [[spoiler:It's later revealed that he staged the entire incident to manipulate the crew to follow him to the Anaconda's feeding grounds and serve as bait.]]
* KillItWithFire: In the climax, they try to kill the largest Anaconda by setting it on fire after it's trapped in a factory pipe. This ends in a bit of InfernalRetaliation as it still goes after them ''while it's on fire'' before it slinks away in the water. Even that doesn't kill it, and it takes a pick-axe to the skull for the Anaconda to ultimately die.
* LargeHam: Jon Voight. Oh, god, Jon Voight. Let's just say, he's the main reason to watch this movie. By far.
* MacGuffin: The objective of the expedition is to film a documentary about a native tribe. [[spoiler:They're not seen until the very end]], and are about as interchangeable as a pot of gold.
* MouthCam: [[spoiler:Sarone]] eventually meets his end to one of these as the Anaconda eats him alive.
* MurderousThighs: Sarone provides one of the rare male examples of this trope, showing that he and the anaconda are NotSoDifferent.
* TheMutiny: The crew eventually figures out what Sarone's up to. He quickly nips this in the bud by presenting a gun and later bitchslapping Westridge around when he shows even a hint of insubordination, but he is successfully overthrown in a later attempt.
* NeckSnap: Bizarrely, ''[[ItCanThink the Anaconda]]'' uses this on it first victim.
* NoisyNature: The Anaconda on occasion hisses, but if injured or in pursuit of our heroes, it will squeal and wail.
* NothingIsScarier: In the opening, the Anaconda attacks a nameless poacher who was piloting a boat full of captured animals before [[BetterToDieThanBeKilled he kills himself]]. When the expedition later runs into his boat, it's completely empty with not a sign of life. They investigate, only for nothing to happen until a guy who got lost is picked off without anyone but Sarone noticing.
* NotSoDifferent: Sarone gives [[spoiler:Denise]] some friendly advice on murder. Then he promptly breaks her neck. His [[MurderousThighs method of execution]] parallels the ''other'' villain of the film. Moreso, they're both vicious, relentless predators who seem [[SuperPersistentPredator willing to pursue their prey to the ends of the Earth]].
* ObviouslyEvil: Paul Sarone is a creepy, suspicious guy from the start and awfully handy with killing things, but no one suspects him of any ulterior motives until he's already put himself in charge. Jon Voight does everything but cackle with an EvilLaugh or twirl a mustache.
* ReptilesAreAbhorrent: Just in case the audience isn't already unsettled by gigantic snakes trying to eat people, asserts that anacondas will [[EatenAlive regurgitate their still-living prey]] after swallowing them, [[ForTheEvulz just for the malicious pleasure]] of ''eating them again.'' [[spoiler:This happens to the human antagonist in the climax]].
-->"You brought that snake... you brought the ''devil''!"
* RiverOfInsanity: The search for the Amazonian tribe doesn't go quite as planned....
* SinisterMinister: Sarone mentions that he was a priest before he decided to become an EvilPoacher. He claims he wasn't even bad at his job, he just wanted to "explore the world"... which apparently involves catching giant, man-eating snakes and feeding people to them.
* SmugSnake: Paul Sarone. In addition to being a ManipulativeBastard, you could probably count the times that smug smile leaves his face on one hand. If you were missing a thumb.
* SuperPersistentPredator: The Anaconda seems to find man the tastiest meal, with its feeding grounds even scattered with the dusty remains of human bone. [[spoiler:Sarone proves himself to be just as determined to catch the Anaconda, using anyone he can as bait.]]
* TailSlap: Too many examples to count. Suffice it to say, the Anaconda uses its tail as a primary weapon almost constantly.
* UpToEleven: After having managed to kill the first one, the second anaconda they encounter (at the abondoned factory) is ''even bigger'' than the already enormous first snake.
* WeCanRuleTogether: Sarone suggest to Owen Wilson's character that they should become partners so he can help him catch the Anaconda. Wilson looks forward to getting rich off it and filming the whole thing. [[spoiler:He gets bitten for his troubles, with Sarone sacrificing him without a second care.]]
* WithMyHandsTied: The crew ties Sarone's hands behind his back, but they didn't count on his MurderousThighs.
* YouAndWhatArmy: During a verbal spat between Ice Cube's character and Westridge, the latter makes this retort after Cube told him he could kill him without breaking a sweat. Cube just counter-replies with YourMom.
* YourMom: Said by IceCube to the British guy.

!!''Anaconda 3: The Offspring'' provides examples of:

* BewareMyStingerTail: One of the abilities the snakes get from their genetical enhancements.

!!''Anacondas: Trail of Blood'' provides examples of:

* DyingMomentOfAwesome: Humorously subverted by one of the characters. The giant snake is bearing down on him and bullets won't stop it, so be pulls the pins out of two grenades and screams, expecting the snake to swallow him and explode....but it just slithers away instead, leaving him to explode by himself.
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