--> ''"[[SarcasmMode Yeah,]] [[BrainBleach bestial, lesbian Garchomp sex]]. [[INeedAFreakingDrink Reeaaal tasteful]]."''
--> -- Jupiter, watching Mars watch [[RuleThirtyFour a porno VR of]] [[InterspeciesRomance Cynthia and Garchomp]] [[TooMuchInformation doing BDSM stuff together]]

Think you know what the legendary Pokémon are like when they're not out busy trying to save the world? Think again.

''The Life of the Legendaries'' is a Pokémon fanfic written by Jakayrta on FanFiction.net, known as [[strike:Drakon]] [[strike:Pentacarbonyl]] Drakon on the Bulbagarden forums. It details the story of all the legendary Pokémon, as they would be if they were to live all together in the Hall of Origins.

They seem to live much like a bunch of college students, really.

The fic is here: [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5568055/The_Life_of_the_Legendaries on FanFiction.net]]

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!!This work contains examples of:

* AbuseIsOkayWhenItIsFemaleOnMale - not really abuse, but Latias played that prank on Latios with the diaper and everything.
* ActionGirl - Cynthia is ''not'' afraid to get physical when things call for it. In more ways than one.
* [[SpaceshipGirl Airship Girl]] - Infi, the AI unit on Zero's airship, the Megarig, manifests as a young woman with clothing and hair based on the infinity symbol.
* AuthorityEqualsAssKicking - Cynthia is the Sinnoh League champion. She not only has powerful Pokémon but she can deliver a righteous ass-whooping with her bare hands.
* AuthorAppeal - The only way to explain why there are many scenes of Lugia in a diaper.
** And the TechnologyPorn.
* BecomingTheCostume - At a contest in Lilycove City, Cynthia and James get costumes that essentially turn them into Pokémon.
* BrotherSisterIncest - Not quite incest but Latios and Latias tend to make out with each other a lot.
* CerebusSyndrome - After the first eight or so chapters, the fic starts getting really dark, as the legendaries prepare for some sort of war. It doesn't stop being funny, though.
* CoolAirship - The ''Hikokyu II'' and the Megarig definitely count.
* CoolPlane - The Origin Fighter counts.
* CostumePorn - Hinted at in Chapter 13, where Cynthia laments about not being able to buy a very expensive Garchomp costume.
** Actually expressed in Chapter 15, where Cynthia finally gets her hands on that costume (even if it is just a rental), and the final scene of that chapter is two Garchomp making out. Basically, there's ''literal'' costume porn in the story.
* CrackFic - The very reason this fic exists. Anybody who manages to read to the end of Chapter 13 and ''not'' think that it is a crackfic is probably on crack themselves.
* CyberpunkIsTechno - A nightclub in Tenebrae City (known as Club Giaru) plays techno music and techno music only.
* CyberpunkWithAChanceOfRain - Tenebrae City (the {{cyberpunk}} city set in the VideoGame/PokemonMysteryDungeon world) is always foggy or rainy.
* {{Cyborg}} - The Ampharos bartender in Club Giaru. And Monazite, the cyborg Sableye.
* DeflectorShields - Military vessels and Pokémon stadiums and battle arenas have them to protect against Pokémon attacks.
* DescriptionPorn - The 2021-series costumes, when they finally do appear, [[FixFic are much better technically explained]] than in [[{{Fanfic/Generation2021}} Generation 2021]], the fic upon which they are based.
* DirtyOldMan - '''CHARON.'''
* DudeLooksLikeALady - Reshiram (a male) is mistaken for a female by Lugia.
** The [[LadyLooksLikeADude reverse]] is true of Zekrom - see TheLadette below.
* FlareGun - The captain of a ferry shoots a flare at Jessie and James when they try to to hijack his ship.
* FullFrontalAssault - Noland ends up fighting two naked grunts in hand-to-hand combat aboard the ''[[CoolAirship Hikokyu II]]''. Granted, he did steal their clothes beforehand so he could sneak by security.
* GadgeteerGenius - Mewtwo is pretty good when it comes to inventing stuff.
* GroinAttack - Cynthia attempts to ''rip off'' a Galactic grunt's genitals after he tried to rape her.
** Groudon also takes a Hydro Pump to the crotch as well.
** Riley's Lucario got his balls crushed when he ended up grappling with a Galactic grunt.
** Noland crushes a Galactic grunt's nuts when he is placed in a chokehold by said grunt.
* TheGunslinger - Johnny Mac is the only member of the heroic group who uses firearms.
* HeroesPreferSwords - Palkia's main weapon is his spacial sword.
* InterspeciesRomance - Cynthia and her Garchomp - first appearing as such in the in-fic movie, ''Champ-Chomp IV''. This story singlehandedly sparked an alternate name for the Cynthia/Garchomp ship, known as [=ChampChompShipping=] ("[[{{Fanon}} officially]]" known as [=SignatureShipping=]).
* JerkAss - Shaymin, and to a lesser extent, Mew.
* KineticWeaponsAreJustBetter - Firearms are seen as a perfectly viable alternative to Pokémon.
* TheLadette - [[spoiler:Zekrom]] is like this. [[spoiler:she]] drinks a ''lot'' of beer and is crude and rude.
* LaserBlade - Palkia's Spacial Rend manifests as a glowing pink sword.
** Psycho Cut can also manifests in this form.
* MacrossMissileMassacre - The ''Hikokyu II'' attacks [[spoiler:Altomare]] with AGM-82 "Onidrill" radar guided missiles.
* MagneticWeapons - the ''Unova'' class gun cruiser ''[[MyNaymeIs Shandara]]'' mounts an eight inch railgun.
* ManChild - Jirachi, Mew and Celebi are quite immature for Legendaries.
* {{Mons}} - duh.
* MyNaymeIs - The names of the various navy ships are warped spellings of Pokémon names
** Aircraft carrier - ''UNV Sazandra'' (Sazandora / Hydreigon)
** Gun cruiser - ''UNV Shandara'' (Shandera / Chandelure)
** Destroyer - ''HNS Gardvior'' (Gardevoir)
** Battleship - ''HNS Craydaunt'' (Crawdaunt)
** Missile cruiser - ''SCNV Saedra'' (Seadra)
** Attack submarine - ''SCNV Draconite'' (Dragonite)
* {{Nanomachines}} - The self-repair mechanism on the ''[[CoolAirship Hikokyu II]]'' uses this.
* NiceHat - Cynthia's Garchomp also has a fedora ''exactly'' like the one IndianaJones wears.
* NoIndoorVoice - DIALGA, REGIGIGAS AND PALKIA. THEY ALWAYS TALK IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS. Except that Palkia can [[InnocentInnuendo shrink himself down to a smaller form]] that has a softer voice.
* OlympusMons - the eponymous Legendaries
* PointDefenseless - Averted. The 20 mm gatling autocannons on the ''Hikokyu II'' are capable of fending off most threats.
* PottyFailure - Latios has this happen to him due to Darkrai making him have a nightmare of Latias chaining him to his bed and spanking him with a spatula while the other Legendaries watch.
* PoweredArmor - not directly used, but the Garchomp costume that Cynthia so badly wants allows the wearer to basically function as a Pokémon inside the costume. It is known as the "2021" brand from "Zekurom Industries", a ShoutOut to the title and author of another fic, [[{{Fanfic/Generation2021}} Generation 2021]], in which costumes of the exact same variety exist.
** Celebi wears protective armor when fighting off poachers.
* PowerPerversionPotential - A cosplayer in a Gardevoir costume uses the costume's psychic powers to remove a waitress's dress in a hotel restaurant
* PrivateMilitaryContractors - Silph Co. is explicitly described as a Pokémon technology and private military company,
* PsychicPowers - Johnny Mac has psychic powers.
* ReferenceOverdosed - Chapter 14 is just full of this - Jakayrta makes references left and right to users on Bulbagarden.
* SamusIsAGirl - [[spoiler:Zekrom]][[note]]this was before ''PokemonTheMovieBlackAndWhite''[[/note]] and Garchomp are both female.
* SpyCatsuit - The undersuits for the Pokémon costumes are form fitting tight black jumpsuits.
* StatuesqueStunner - Cynthia stands at six feet even and she seems to magnetically attract men.
* TheStoner - Shaymin and her gracidea.
* TechnologyPorn - A little bit, especially with regards to military tech.
** Not to mention the VR's that play ''literal'' porn. This kind of VR is even used as a torture device for the legendaries that are captured on the ''Hikokyu II'' - and Entei [[IncrediblyLamePun gets the butt of it]].
* WhamLine: "Welcome to Team Galactic, [[spoiler:Zero]]"
* WhipItGood - Cynthia's Garchomp has a whip.
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