->Hohenheim: Thanks to the magic of fanfiction, this van will fit us all.

'''Selleck Waterfall Sandwich''' is a fifteen-chapter musical parody of FlowerDrumSong by Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin. In the fic, [[Manga/{{Gintama}} Kagura]] and her brother, Kamui, arrive back to Earth after a vacation on their home planet so Kagura can marry [[OnePiece Sanji]], who is already in love with Nico Robin. When Kamui discovers this affair, he sets his sister up with [[Manga/KatekyoHitmanReborn Hayato Gokudera]], who becomes fast friends with Kagura. Unfortunately, Robin's mother, Nico Olvia, does not approve of their friendship. Things go downhill when Olvia takes a restraining order out on Gokudera and Kamui decides to abuse loopholes by possibly marrying Kagura with Okita. HilarityEnsues.

This fanfic was first published in November, 2010, shortly after Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin got her account. She posted the final chapter in December of that year. This fanfic contains examples of:
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* AllForNothing: Turns out, [[spoiler: Umibozu got Yato traditions mixed up, which meant that Kagura didn't have to get married in the first place]].
* AntiLoveSong: Gokudera sings [[Theatre/AvenueQ There's a Fine, Fine Line]] in chapter three.
* ArrangedMarriage: First, it's Kagura and Sanji, which then changes to Kagura and Gokudera. Finally, it changes to [[spoiler: Kagura and Okita]].
* BadGirlSong: Robin's bad girl song is I Like it Rough. When she sang it in chapter 12, Gokudera's plans to [[spoiler: break up Sanji and Robin]] fail right in front of his eyes.
* BigEater: Kagura and Bonney. Subverted in chapter three when they are in an eating contest against each other.
* Bilingual Bonus: Chapter nine's title is, "iSimon!", which is Spanish for, "Hell yeah!"
* BoyfriendBluff: Kagura does this with Yamamoto for a short time so they can abuse loopholes with Olvia's restraining order.
* BSODSong: Gokudera has several of these. The most notable example is [[FranzFerdinand The Dark of the Matinée]], which he sings when [[spoiler: He finds out that Kagura is going to marry Okita]].
* CantActPervertedTowardALoveInterest: Sanji doesn't act like a HandsomeLech whenever he's with Robin.
* ChekhovsGag: [[Manga/FullmetalAlchemist The Homunculi and Hohenheim's]] scenes in chapter one when they are giving Kagura and Kamui a ride are mirrored in the last chapter when [[spoiler: Gintoki and the gang are trying to get to Kagura and Okita's wedding to stop it]].
* ConcertClimax: In the penultimate chapter, Gokudera sees Kagura with [[spoiler: Okita]] outside of a lounge while a concert is wrapping up. This is when Gokudera also finds out that [[spoiler: Kagura and Okita are getting married]].
* ConvenienceStoreGiftShopping: This seems to be how Gintoki, Shinpachi, Kagura, Tae, and Kamui got Gokudera's birthday presents in chapter eleven.
* CoveredInGunge: Shinpachi implies that Sanji and Robin were covered in gunge for sexual activity in chapter three.
* DidYouJustHaveSex: Kamui, Gintoki, Kagura, Tae, and Shinpachi have this moment at the end of chapter one when they (think) they see Sanji and Robin getting it on. Kamui has the same moment in chapter two with, unsurprisingly, Sanji and Robin.
* DontExplainTheJoke: Everytime Hohenheim says, "Thanks to the magic of fanfiction, this van will fit us all", the Homunculi think that Hohenheim is pregnant since his first name is Van.
* DrunkenSong: Kamui sings Music/WeirdAlYankovic's beer song in chapter ten. He is drunk while this happens.
* EarlyBirdCameo: Okita works at a booth at the Shinsengumi's World's Fair-Styled Inventions and Bakery Goods Expo. He appears later [[spoiler: as Kagura's fianceé]].
* EpicFail: Kagura, Gokudera, and their friends run around town all day to buy wedding gifts for [[spoiler: Sanji and Robin]], when they realize that the last place they need to go to is Crate and Barrel. Upon realizing that their hometown doesn't have a Crate and Barrel, they take the train to another city five hours away just to shop at Crate and Barrel when they could've skipped it altogether.
* EpicRocking: Feel Good Inc, Party in the Local Park, Brooklyn Rage, Meet me Halfway, Perfect, Whereever You Will Go, Life's Gonna Suck, Love me Dead, this fic seems to be built on this trope.
* EverybodyLaughsEnding: At the end of the fic, after [[spoiler: it is revealed that Kamui, not Kagura, should've been the one to get married]], as the characters are leaving to go get tacos, everyone (minus Kamui, because he was drugged) is laughing.
* ExpositionParty: Happens in chapter seven. Sanji throws a party for no reason other than to [[spoiler: propose to Robin]].
* FourTemperamentEnsemble: Kagura is Sanguine, Gokudera is Choleric, Kamui is Melancholic, and Gintoki is Phlegmatic.
* FunnyBackgroundEvent: In chapter ten, while everyone is outside of Bed Bath and Beyond and just shooting the breeze, the Bed Bath and Beyond explodes for no reason.
* GreekChorus: The authoress' [=OCs=] make comments from a confessional room in an undisclosed location at various parts in the story.
* GriefSong: Kagura sings Over after [[spoiler: Gokudera is arrested]]. This is {{Hilarious in Hindsight}} for two reasons: One, LindsayLohan sings that song. And, two, [[spoiler: the gang bailed Gokudera out of jail later]].
* HakunaMatata: The Seven Deadly Sins, I'm in Love With a McDonalds Girl, Lucky, Feel Good Inc, Sunday, and [[VideoGame/DefenseOfTheAncients DotA]].
* IHaveToWashMyHair: In chapter ten, when Robin and Sanji ask Kagura and Kamui to [[spoiler: be in their wedding]], Kamui says that they (meaning Gintoki, Shinpachi, Kagura, Kamui, and Tae) have to step outside to discuss what Sanji and Robin asked them. It isn't until the five leave the building anwser the question. [[spoiler: Their answer is a simple, "Hell no!"]]
* IWantSong: Kagura's I want song is Airplanes in chapter five and Gokudera's I want song is This Fire in chapter 11.
* MeddlingParents: Olvia.
* MexicanStandoff: Almost happens in chapter eleven when the author's OCs crash Gokudera's birthday party while wielding their weapons and dressed as if they are in ''OnePieceStrongWorld''.
* MockingMusic: When Gokudera's plan fails in chapter twelve, Robin sings I Like it Rough by LadyGaga.
* TheMusical
* Nakama: Gokudera and Kagura.
* NoFourthWall: The confessional room segments with the authoress' OCs has no fourth wall, as they talk to the audience.
* NoodleIncident: In chapter one, Hijikata mentions that Katsura got arrested in the past for being drunk, disorderly, and [[OffscreenMomentOfAwesome attacking somebody with a bonsai tree]].
* OnlySaneMan: Hibari, Ryohei, Tsuna, most of the Straw Hats, Takasugi, Sakamoto, Katsura, and most of the Supernovas barely get any lines. Subverted even further when Chrome Dokuro and Mukuro Rokudo only show up for one chapter.
* OverUsedRunningGag: "Bitchin'!"
* ParentalNeglect: Umibozu doesn't show up and stop Kagura's marriage until the last chapter. Why didn't he stop Kamui from marrying Kagura off before the siblings went back to Earth?
* ParentsWalkInAtTheWorstTime: Olvia serves cookies when Kagura, Gokudera, Sanji, and Robin visit her in chapter three. She also leaves cookies for Gokudera and Kagura in chapter six even though she is away on vacation.
* {{Parody}}: This is a parody of FlowerDrumSong, as stated above.
* SanitySlippageSong: "This Fire". Fortunately, Gokudera gets better.
* SevenDeadlySins: Not only do [[Manga/FullmetalAlchemist the Homunculi]] show up, they even sing the Flogging Molly song The Seven Deadly Sins.
* ShoutOut: There are many shout outs per chapter, and that's not including the songs that were sung.
* SidekickSong: The Vongolas have "Party in the Local Park".
* TheSimpsonsDidIt: The scene where Kondo and Hasegawa are looking at their credit card bills is similar to a scene in TheSimpsons episode "Catch 'em if You Can", where Ned and Rod Flanders are looking at their credit card bills.
* SongFic: The entire fic is a musical.
* StepfordSmiler: Olvia. She may seem nice and friendly on the outside, but, on the inside, [[spoiler: she attempts to ruin the protagonist's friendship all because she doesn't approve of Gokudera]].
* TalkAboutTheWeather: In chapter three, when Gintoki, Tae, and Shinpachi are watching T.V., the weatherwoman is talking about how nice the weather is.
* TheSongBeforeTheStorm: During the [[WHAMEpisode WHAM chapter]], Gintoki sings [[Film/TheMask Cuban Pete]] right before [[spoiler: Sanji proposes to Robin]].
* ThoseTwoGuys: Yamazaki, Matsudaira, and Kondo. Any Supernova that isn't Trafalgar Law also counts.
* UnusualEuphemism: This exchange between Gintoki and Shinpachi in chapter two.
-->Shinpachi: "He probably sings this in the shower. To Robin. As they take a shower together while Robin washes Sanji's hair as Sanji -"
-->Gintoki: "You know what? I've had enough. I'm going outside. [[LampshadeHanging Shinpachi, you're just euphemistically making things much worse]]."
* TheVillainSucksSong: Gokudera sings [[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Kyle's Mom's a Bitch]] to express his anger toward Kamui in the second-to-the-last chapter.
* WhereWhere: Kamui does this to Kagura to trick her into thinking [[DGrayman Allen Walker]] is outside. In reality, [[spoiler: he did it to bring Okita into the apartment while Kagura was distracted]].
* XDaysSince: There is a two week timeskip between chapters six and seven. Apparently, nothing exciting happened during the time we didn't see.
* YouFailBiologyForever: Played straight with this exchange in chapter three.
-->Gokudera: "Nico Olvia is feminine? I don't think so. Did you see her rock the mom jeans? Plus, how does a silver-haired woman give birth to a black-haired woman?"
-->Kagura: "Did you even learn about genetics in Biology class?"
-->Gokudera: "I never paid attention to it, because it was a really boring chapter. I think I also bombed the test on that material."
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