A typical day for [[WesternAnimation/MyLifeAsATeenageRobot Jenny Wakeman]] turns awkward when she and Brad discover that her new touch sensors work a little better than they ever realized... and even more awkward when a little "fooling around" leads to a whole host of desires Jenny never knew she had.

But Jenny's sexual awakening isn't the only thing she's got on her plate. Along with all the baggage that comes with teen sex, she's got to deal with the scheming of [[AlphaBitch the Crust cousins]] and the Cluster's latest plot to win her over to their side.

Read it [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2379730/1/My_Life_as_a_Teenaged_Von_Neumann_Device here]], but be warned it's (obviously) NSFW.
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!!This fic contains examples of
* AlternateContinuity: In this continuity, Jenny and Misty never come to blows like they did in "Mist Opportunities" and are still best friends. Also, in this continuity, Vexus slowly but surely resumes control of Cluster Prime after Vega's coup backfires, unlike the series, where the coup goes without fail and Vexus was ultimately exiled.
* BetterAsFriends: It takes a while after Brad and Jenny find out about each other's affairs (Jenny with Sheldon, Brad with Brit) for them to see eye-to-eye or even speak to each other, but they eventually come to terms that Brad was more interested in the thrill and adventure Jenny faces rather than an actual relationship.
* BerserkButton: Jenny's pregnancy actually ''invokes'' this, as anything remotely resembling a danger to the child is dealt with extreme, and in [[spoiler: Vexus']] case, lethal force.
* BettyAndVeronica: This fic portrays Sheldon and Brad as a gender-flipped example of this trope; Brad's the cool and suave Veronica, while Sheldon is the sincere yet awkward Betty. [[spoiler:It ''looks'' like Brad "wins" at first, but after Britt manipulates Jenny and Brad into a break-up, Brad concedes that he was mostly dating Jenny for the adventure of it, so Sheldon "wins." Interestingly, the fact that Brad is a good sport about it wins him some "Betty" points, while Sheldon later develops some confident "Veronica" traits so he can help Jenny.]]
* TheCasanova: The author cuts Brad, normally a CasanovaWannabe, a big break here, as he teaches Jenny about sex and hooks up with her, has a steamy (albeit one-sided and manipulated) affair with Brit Crust, is asked by Nexus to visit Cluster Prime some time for a more "private thank-you" for his help in the rebellion, enters into a steamy, but solid relationship with Tiff Crust, and, as it turns out, he learned everything ''he'' knew about sex from Misty on one of her return visits to Earth! Dude knows how to get around the galaxy...
* ComingOfAgeStory
* {{Demonization}}: [[spoiler: It turns out that part of the reason Britt was always such a bitch to Jenny is because Britt was unconsciously demonizing Jenny as a glory-seeker. But when Jenny puts herself at risk to save her baby, and on top of that puts herself at risk in a situation where ''no one can see Jenny doing it'', Britt is forced to realize that Jenny really is the hero she always seemed to be...which means ''Britt was wrong!'' And that causes Britt to undergo a Villainous Breakdown.]]
* EvenEvilHasStandards: Vexus eviscerates a pair of Cluster soldiers who raped Jenny.
* EverybodyHasLotsOfSex
* FunWithAcronyms: '''T'''actile '''I'''nformation '''T'''ransferral '''S'''ystem, '''T'''raffic '''H'''alting and '''O'''dor '''N'''eutralizing '''G'''arment...funny, yet functional terms!
* HeelFaceTurn: Tiff Crust finally gets fed up with her cousin's AlphaBitch attitude, especially after [[spoiler: Britt goes crazy.]]
* HiddenDepths: Turns out Tiff is rather articulate when it comes to writing letters.
* JourneyToTheCenterOfTheMind: Jenny goes into Sheldon's mind after [[spoiler: Vexus drives him BrainwashedAndCrazy.]]
* MamaBear: After her assault on a pregnancy-weakened Jenny during the Halloween party, Vexus has Jenny down and out before planning to eviscerate everyone she loves, starting with her child, whom Vexus tries to pierce through Jenny's abdomen. Cue Jenny ''separating Vexus from her attacking arm'' and then throwing Vexus so hard into a oak tree, ''she breaks both the sound barrier and Vexus herself!'' It's then taken to gruesome levels when Jenny literally ''tears'' Vexus in two, holding her upper body aloft, before punching Vexus' head ''clean'' off her shoulders!
* MegaCrossover: Sorta; the story is sprinkled with references to other Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon shows.
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: [[spoiler:In chapter 8, Jenny reflects that she was previously disdainful of Sheldon because he was unpopular, somewhat unattractive, and his interest in robotics made him an outcast. Upon realizing this Jenny becomes uncomfortable at how close this is to describing ''herself''. And she becomes even more disgusted with herself when she realizes that now that she's dating popular, attractive Brad, and even previously when she was chasing popular and attractive Don Prima, she's come very close to emulating the social-ladder-climbing of the ''Crust cousins''.]]
** Nora Wakeman also has a moment like this in chapter [[spoiler:22, because in this fanfic, it turns out that Phineas Mogg and Nora Wakeman's rivalry is pointless, since Phineas Mogg ''wasn't'' ripping off Nora's ideas after all. In fact, he actually helped Nora with many of her projects, including XJ-9 herself. Furthermore, Nora and Phineas had a romantic tryst once at a party, but Nora was too drunk at the time to remember it later, so Phineas has wondered for years why Nora seemed to give him the cold shoulder for no reason. When Nora realizes all of this, she sobs that she's been such a fool.]]
* NiceJobBreakingItHero: [[spoiler: Britt Crust probably wouldn't have gone crazy if Jenny hadn't snapped in Chapter 15 and decided to repay all the times the Crust cousins had publicly humiliated her.]]
* PornWithPlot
* PrimalScene:
** Played for drama after Sheldon walks in on Jenny and Brad after TheirFirstTime and has a FreakOut [[spoiler: which leads to him getting hit by a car, leading to him getting [[BrainUploading his brain uploaded into the Silver Shell]].]]
** Played for laughs when Tuck freaks out after seeing Mrs. Wakeman [[ADateWithRosiePalms pleasuring herself in the bathtub]], and again when Tiff Crust barges in on [[spoiler: Mrs. Wakeman and Doctor Mogg having "old person sex".]]
* RapeAsDrama: In chapter 10, Jenny is molested by a pair of Cluster goons.
* RidiculouslyHumanRobot: To the point of Jenny having ''working reproductive organs'' modeled off human ones.
* RomanticFalseLead: [[spoiler:Brad. Jenny dates him at the beginning of the fanfic, but ends up dating Sheldon later after a really bad break-up with Brad (engineered by Britt). However, Brad is treated sympathetically; he remains a pretty good guy from start to finish, and he admits later that he was mostly dating Jenny for the adventure of it, so he's a good sport about Jenny dating Sheldon later.]]
* SanitySlippage: [[spoiler: Britt Crust goes from having an irrational hatred of Jenny to outright paranoia about "the machines" to getting a messiah complex and being convinced she's the only one who can save the human race from the "robot menace".]]
* SetRightWhatOnceWentWrong: Sort of. [[spoiler:When Jenny has to go into Sheldon's mind to prevent a BrainwashedAndCrazy Silver Shell from removing the Sheldon personality, she ends up having to make some of his more negative memories about her more positive, to prove to Sheldon that Sheldon deserves to still be around.]]
* ShotgunWedding: Jenny is nearly forced to wed Vexus's son.
* SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan: Jenny starts dating Brad, who although a Casanova is ultimately a good guy. [[spoiler:She later dates Sheldon, after coming to fully appreciate how much he cares about her.]]
* StandardFiftiesFather: [[spoiler: Sheldon's second robot body is modeled on this.]]
* TheTalk: Dr. Wakeman gives Jenny and Brad some sage advice after finding out they're in a relationship.
* TheirFirstTime: Brad and Jenny in chapter 4.
* TheUnfavorite: Tiff Crust to Britt Crust.
* VillainousBreakdown: [[spoiler: When Jenny refuses to surrender to the Britt/Vexus hybrid when it looks like her friends and family have been killed, Britt undergoes a HeelRealization and ''literally'' breaks down... which unfortunately leaves the berserk Vexus in charge of their body.]]
* YourCheatingHeart: Both Brad and Jenny wound up having an affair with others, although Jenny's was more about discovering Sheldon was a better love match and Brad's affair with Brit was rather one-sided. [[spoiler: Upon discovering the pregnancy resulting from Jenny's affair with Sheldon, Brit attempts to use this to demoralize Jenny by not only revealing who the father is to Brad, but also showing Jenny photos of Brit's earlier tryst with Brad. It almost works.]]
* YouShallNotPass: [[spoiler: When Britt/Vexus attacks the Wakeman household while Jenny's giving birth, [=XJs=] 1 through 8 sacrifice themselves in order to buy time.]]