[[quoteright:350:[[Fanfic/MyInnerLifeAdaptations http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/mil.JPG]]]]
[[caption-width-right:350: Please wake up, Link...]]

->''"Dreams come in many forms. Some good, some bad, some very realistic, even ones that [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment feels very real]]."''
-->—'''[[FauxlosophicNarration Prologue,]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck and it's all downhill from there.]]'''

''My Inner Life'' is a Zelda MarySue fanfic of epic proportions. Written at some point between the late 90s and early 2000s, it has gone down in history as one of the most memorable stories of its type ever written. It all started when a starry-eyed fangirl known as Jen began to have lucid dreams about Link and believed they were a real second life she lived, writing them down to share them with the world.

The story followed the exploits of a girl named Jenna, a traveling merchant who meets and falls in love with Link Silverblade, who has a last name now. She then proceeds to marry him, have lots of [[{{Lemon}} sex]] with him while [[GruntingOrgasm grunting like tigers in heat]], and bear his babies. Along the way, the couple takes part in a bizarre bonding ceremony, battles Dark Link, and discovers that [[GodModeSue Jenna is descended from a race of magical people]] [[ElementalPowers who can control the elements.]]

The author [[CutShort never actually finished the story]], but it lives on in the memories of many traumatized and amused Zelda fans. The story, plus a shrine to the author herself, can be found [[http://linksqueen.tripod.com/ here]]. You can also hear it in DramaticReading form [[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=9657945AD58D5150 here]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/user/RenegadeTimeLady here]], although the latter isn't finished yet. If those aren't enough to quell your interest, there is also a Sims 2 reenactment in the works, part one of which can be found [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9z2rLuD0ss/ here]]. Also recommended is this [[http://zelda-queen.livejournal.com/18688.html sporking]]. Another interesting [[http://thepdohf.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-nightmare-on-hyrule-field-part-1-get.html spork starts here]].

Adaptations of ''My Inner Life'' are troped over [[Fanfic/MyInnerLifeAdaptations here]].

Also, see ''FanFic/MyImmortal'', ''[[Fanfic/LegolasByLaura legolas by laura]]'', ''DoomRepercussionsOfEvil'', ''FanFic/LoveIsDeffinatlyBlind'', ''FanFic/BackToTheFrollo'', and ''Literature/AtlantaNights''.

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!!''FanFic/MyInnerLife'' provides examples of:

* AllThereInTheManual: In the Author's Notes, Jenna mentions that she had to catch up the fic to where she was in the dreams and says that she's at a point in which she's given birth to twins (her third and fourth children with Link). This bit doesn't happen within the story itself.
** There are also extensive footnotes, although it's something of a subversion in that [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment a lot of the information was included in the story itself]].
** By the point when the author and Link are crossing the desert back, Jen responded to a reader saying that she, Link and Nabooru would travel to her homeland, the great lebian coast, and that they'd face Dark Link again, she also spoils the presumed arc by telling us that Link would die, but not to worry, since he'd be back soon.
* AlwaysChaoticEvil: The Draconians.
* ArtisticLicenseBiology:
** Four-month-old babies ''do not know simple math'', nor can they crawl.
** Also, [[http://www.babycenter.com/0_milestone-chart-1-to-6-months_1496585.bc babies don't start laughing or giggling until they're about 2-4 months old]], while Link Jr is giggling from the start.
** Let the record show that having sex while pregnant will ''not'' make your baby stronger. Let it also show that getting drunk while pregnant will give your baby the aptly-named Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, [[CaptainObvious which isn't a good thing]].
** Also, movement is generally more awkward and difficult during the last of the second trimester and the entirety of the third trimester, since, you know, the kid gets huge and all, while here Jenna is capable of traveling around and doing action scenes.
** One does not boot horses in the ''legs'' to get them to move. It's the ribs. Really a firm squeeze with your legs is all that's needed. And maybe a light nudge with the heels. Actually, it seems rather impossible to boot a horse in the leg while you're riding it–horses ''are'' pretty big animals, after all. In fact, hitting a horse in the legs is more likely to send the rider flying off than make the horse actually go.
** Jenna seems to be convinced that a horse's pregnancy is 3 months, when in reality, it can take a full year for a foal to completely gestate.
** And then there's the fact that apparently tigers mating is not actually sexy. See [[http://weepingcock.livejournal.com/696223.html?view=36251039 this Weepingcock post,]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4EMa7ytRxo Youtube]] and [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger#Reproduction Wikipedia]] for more information.
* ArtisticLicenseChemistry: Jenna was able to smell sulfur from across a lake. Given that sulfur has a faint odor, she either mixed it up with Hydrogen Sulfide or she did no research at all. More likely, however, it was one of her [[GodModeSue Sue powers]].
* ArtisticLicenseSexEd: Some of the things described in the sex scenes would not work. At all. The author has no idea what the male refractory period is and seems to think that men can climax twice in five minutes without any problems (some can, but the odds are against it and doubly so for those out of their twenties!). Also, women do excrete a certain fluid during orgasm, but the sheer amount that shows up after every one of Jenna's orgasms means that she has some serious health problems. She's losing a ton of fluid rapidly each time- maybe, if the story had gone on, she would have died because of this.
* AuthorAppeal: There's quite a few things the author clearly has a fondness for that keep recurring in the story. Jenna spends a lot of time bathing with Link or being washed by him, for example.
* AuthorFilibuster: The warnings.
* AuthorVocabularyCalendar: During the sex scenes. PLEASURE! HEAVENLY NAKED BODY! SHEER ECSTASY!
** "He lifted my head up until our eyes met." A phrase which sounds more like Link is [[OffWithHisHead ripping Jenna's head off.]]
** Jen also really, ''really'' likes to use the words "[[Franchise/StarWars youngling]]" when describing any sort of baby animal; "miracle" when describing her first son, Link Junior; and "sneer" when describing how a villain utters their latest cliche.
** To say nothing of the references to tigers during the sex scenes. In the sexual bonding ceremony, the characters are described as acting like tigers four times in just two paragraphs!
* AwesomeMcCoolname: Jenna ''Silverblade'' and her horses, Midnight Star and Star Dancer.
* BigBad: Dark Lord Ariakas.
* BigBrotherIsWatching: The monks from the bonding ceremony.
* BoringInvincibleHero
* CaptainObvious: "The nipples on my breasts."
* CatchPhrase: 80% of Dalamar's dialogue is a request for expediency. "We must make haste!" is his most common.
* CatGirl: Not a literal example, but Jenna's "cat like instincts" (which are never explained) certainly invoke this trope. Just in case she didn't have quite enough CommonMarySueTraits. She's also later able to smell blood and sulfur from ''across a lake''.
** Again, the tiger references in the sex scenes.
* {{Chickification}}: Every rival for Link's affections, including [[BarrierMaiden Princess]] [[LadyOfWar Zelda]], Malon, [[UnluckyChildhoodFriend Saria]], and [[{{Tsundere}} Ruto]] are reduced from their powerful and determined selves to fawning over the [[BlackHoleSue Sue]], angst about how [[IwantMyBelovedToBeHappy they want Link to be happy with her]], ''and'' give her cool stuff... like ''the Ocarina of freakin' Time''.
* TheComplainerIsAlwaysWrong: After Jenna is given her own guardian fairy by the Great Deku Tree, Mido is the only one who points out that there's no reason for her to have one. [[JerkassHasAPoint He has a completely legitimate point there]], since Jenna is not a Kokiri.[[note]]The justification is also rather flimsy; Jenna's fairy is supposed to protect her should Ganondorf return, but the game shows that Ganondorf is far more powerful than Link's own guardian fairy, who was useless in the fight against him. Also, Ganondorf is dead in this story and never does return.[[/note]] Of course, Saria instantly gets all up in Mido's business for this, yelling at him for having the gall to suggest that Jenna doesn't deserve every little thing she is given.
** Throughout the story, it's told that griffins don't trust people. However, the only ones to actually display any mistrust, a pair of guards, are subsequently yelled at for goofing off on the job. Even though it's a guard's job to be suspicious.
** Also, when Link and Jenna are about to travel to the griffins' home, he tries to get her to stay behind with the very good point of her being six-months pregnant. She goes with him anyway, and we're supposed to congratulate her on how feminist she supposedly is.
* CostumePorn: Some of the CostumePorn scenes in this fic [[UpToEleven could put even]] ''FanFic/MyImmortal'' to shame!
* DamselInDistress: Jenna alternates between this and ActionGirl during the fight scenes.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment:
** "It was a warm spring night and night had just arrived."
** Even dreams that feel realistic feel very real.
** "....AND IT IS ALSO THE READERS RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILTY....."
** "Should you ever need one of us in a time of need..."
** "Knowledge of those great heroics is well known..."
** "I entered a strange room.""The room was strange..."
** "The more he attracted my attention the more I became more attracted to him."
** "Completing each would bond us together in an unbreakable bond."
** "Hearing his voice inside my mind made me feel closer to him. I felt as if our minds were connected."
** There's also a spring festival. A footnote helpfully tells us that it's a festival that's held in the spring.
* DontLikeDontRead: The author's note takes this UpToEleven. If copied and pasted into Word or similar, it turns out the rant (consisting entirely of how people who complain about her writing or consider her character a MarySue are bad and should feel bad) goes on for three pages-ish.
* DramaticReading: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKzJ9_oKnCs This story]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVgTZv15pck has three]] [[http://www.youtube.com/user/RenegadeTimeLady of them.]]
* ElementalPowers: Jenna discovers she has these.
* FanSequel / CrackFic: "[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9279967/1/My-Inner-Life-The-Legend-Of-Jenna My Inner Life: The Legend Of Jenna]]".
* {{Fauxlosophic Narration}}: Jenna tries to make herself sound philosophical and intelligent in her prologue, but it does a better job of giving examples of redundancy and general idiocy.
* FootnoteFever: Because she felt the need to explain what a Spring Festival was. [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin It's a festival held in Spring.]]
** In many cases, she gives a footnote and then has Link explain to Jenna what the term is ''several sentences later'' in the body of the text. One footnote actually retells plot points from the main story.
* [[ForgotAboutHisPowers Forgot About Her Powers]]: Jenna is ''constantly'' forgetting that she can control the elements and thus dispose of most enemies in no time flat. Or rather, she remembers only after everyone else has been incapacitated and she's been cornered, or she'll remember it outside of a battle so she can use it as a reason why she's not a DamselInDistress, but every other time, she just forgets. It makes scenes that are supposed to be tense actually more stupid that they already were.
** Jenna also seems to conveniently forget that Link is more than capable of taking care of himself and defeating monsters the likes of which she has never seen whenever she wants to create tension. [[SarcasmMode Yes, Jenna, of course Link could never hope to defeat Dark Link without your "help", nevermind the fact that he already did so when saving Hyrule.]]
* FullNameBasis: Dark Lord Ariakas is rarely called anything but.
* HandOnWomb: Jenna does this a lot when she finds out she is pregnant.
* HaveAGayOldTime: "So like I said, if the content of this story sounds, too queer to you, TURN BACK NOW!"
* HypocriticalHumor: Unintentionally: The author's note goes [[AuthorFilibuster on and on]] about how immature it is to blow up just because people write something you don't like; it was written because people gave her fanfiction negative reviews.
** Also in the author's note, she says that she didn't mean to make Jenna conceited because "I'm not really like that." In the story though, which is told from her perspective, she refers to ''herself'' as beautiful in the narration, claims ''she'' would be Hyrule's sole and most powerful protector, and calls ''herself'' compassionate in her dialogue.
* InformedAbility: The Great Deku Tree says at one point that Jenna is "spiritual." Besides her worship of Link, no evidence is seen for this otherwise.
** ThePiratesWhoDontDoAnything: Much emphasis is also placed on Jenna's importance as a merchant, but she can apparently drop that to marry Link with no ill consequences to Hyrule's supply of cloth.
* IkeaErotica: In some cases, although it's almost always averted in favor of PurpleProse.
* InsistentTerminology: This story isn't something Jenna pulled out of her head. It came FROM HER DREAMS!
* IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: Ruto, Saria, and Malon. In the latter's case, it's expanded more so in one of [[HeAlsoDid the author's other fanfictions.]]
* ItsAllAboutMe: Jenna, of course, especially when Hyrule goes to war and the only thought on her mind is how it will affect ''her''.
* KaleidoscopeEyes: Not just the local MarySue, oh no, ''everyone'' seems to have these.
* LoveAtFirstSight
* MillsAndBoonProse: The sex scenes.
* MoralDissonance: The pregnant bender. Either Jen forgot that her character was pregnant at the time (which wouldn't be surprising) or she'd never heard of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (which also wouldn't be surprising).
* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands: Jenna's powers, including:
** Finding out she's descended from the made-up "Silverites," a race of people who can control the elements, was discovered at a very opportune time.
** Her "cat like instincts" also come right out of nowhere. She doesn't even explain where they came from; they're introduced about halfway through the story with no explanation.
** The "Phoenix Circles", which she apparently is skilled enough at fighting with to challenge Dark Link when Link cannot. Even though he's beaten Dark Link before and only gotten stronger since then. It's also prudent to point out that these "Phoenix Circles" are actually chakrams, and if one were to draw them on paper based on what little description was given, they would look incredibly similar to a certain [[http://images.wikia.com/kingdomhearts/images/0/0f/Axel_Days_2.png Flurry of Dancing Flames']] version of these.
* ObligatorySwearing: Not as severe as some cases, though it's still there.
* OurGryphonsAreDifferent
* {{Padding}}: Nothing really happens until Dark Link shows up.
* ParentalFavoritism: Sort of. The King treats Jenna like his own flesh and blood more than his own daughter.
* {{Plagiarism}}: The Draconians, Lord Aiakas, and the name Dalamar are all ripped from the ''{{Dragonlance}}'' books.
* PostVictoryCollapse: Jenna faints immediately after using her new-found ElementalPowers to kill Dark Link as an excuse to wake up in Link's arms.
* {{Psychic|Link}} [[IncrediblyLamePun Link]]: Jenna has one with Link.
* PornWithoutPlot: There's not a hint of real, life-threatening-to-a-main-character conflict until near the end of the ''twelfth chapter'' and even then, it's resolved in less than two chapters. Indeed, there isn't ''any'' conflict, life-threatening or not, in the story until then.
** Link and Jenna are parted for several months of plot time because he has to go to war. He's back in a few pages.
** Another conflict is set up towards the end, involving Jenna and Link getting in the thick of a brewing war amongst CanonForeigner countries. It reaches its climax when a huge bat-like creature attacks them at night and they opt to run away to Hyrule Castle instead of fighting. The story ends that same chapter and we're LeftHanging.
* PurpleProse: Holy ''hell'' is there PurpleProse!
* PutOnABus: Link's horse, Epona, is put out of action by being constantly pregnant.
* RealLifeWritesThePlot: Jen's lucid dreams.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: The spelling itself isn't too bad by fanfic standards, although Jen keeps using "alter" for "altar", "minuet" for "minute", etc. What's really bad is that she thinks quotation marks don't just open and close a quote, but go between every sentence within the quote.
** Also, the deliciously [[MemeticMutation memetic]] "from the ''gecko''" (presumably "get-go".)
** For some reason, the author mixes up "through" with "threw", pretty much ''every single time''.
** She also constantly writes "so" as "soo", which is either a spelling error or an attempt to emphasize the word.
** Another example is saying "award robe" instead of "a wardrobe".
** One hilarious example is Jenna saying that they'd "bread" Link's new stallion with Epona.
* SatelliteLoveInterest: Upon meeting Link for the first time, Jenna's first thoughts are how handsome he is and how beautiful their children would be. They're banging within a few pages, without a hint of tension or believability.
* ScreamingBirth coupled with InstantBirthJustAddWater
* ShoutOut: Probably unintentional, but the names Dalamar and Ariakas [[DragonLance sure do sound familiar...]]
* SexEqualsLove: as TheirFirstTime
* SickeninglySweethearts: Link and Jenna.
* SigilSpam: Jenna's Triforce-spammed dresses and Triforce jewelry.
* SmugSnake: Dark Link
* SomewhereAnEquestrianIsCrying: Jenna always gets her horse to walk by booting it in the legs.
* SophisticatedAsHell: The sex scenes, where flowery language is intercut with words like "nutsack" and "pussy".
* StayInTheKitchen: Present throughout the story:
** Even though Jenna is determined to outshine Link in every capacity, she's still utterly devoted to him in a very anti-feminist way.
** Ruto, who should be old enough to run her own life by now, is admonished for not listening to her father.
** Epona is put out of action with constant pregnancy.
** Female griffins are repeatedly seen leading their "younglings" around like it's the '50s.
** Zelda can only take the throne if she is married.
* SuckinessIsPainful: In the [[AuthorFilibuster incredibly long author's introduction]], Jenna [[SarcasmFailure fails to understand hyperboled criticism]] that claims this.
-->'''Jenna''': Also as a side note, I NEVER physically hurt ANYONE with this story. I got one reviewer that said. “Oh God please stop writing, your hurting everyone.” Now I want to know where I physically touched that person. I want to know how I’m twisting anyone’s arms to read this. I have never done anything of the sort in any way, shape or form and I DO NOT appreciate being accused of that!
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: The authors' notes mention (in ''more'' than just the line quoted above) how she never "physically" hurt anyone with the story, to the point that she seems to acknowledge that [[GoMadFromTheRevelation mental trauma might have occurred]].
* ThirstyDesert: The Black Desert. This is even moreso than most deserts, because [[CaptainObvious it's black]], so it retains heat more easily.
* ThreeMonthOldNewborn: Seconds after his birth, Link Junior is cute, clean and cooing in his mother's arms. He's smiling, giggling and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick doing math]] not long after.
** Don't forget, there was no mention of an umbilical cord and apparently the birth only took...eh, maybe five minutes?
* TitleDrop: In the prologue. "This is a book about ''my inner life..."''
* UltimateEvil: Dark Lord Ariakas, though TheUnseen.
* VerbalTic: The word "so" is consistently misspelled "soo", making Jenna sound like an air-headed valley girl.
* WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: What happened to Jenna's horse Star Dancer?
* WingedUnicorn: Called "Unipegs" in the story. They appear towards the end of the story when Hyrule is preparing for war. Of course, by "appear", we mean "are mentioned in passing as an ally and swiftly forgotten".
* TheWrongfulHeirToTheThrone: Thanks to [[BlackHoleSue Suvian]] influence, Jenna is now in line to rule Hyrule with Link should Zelda decline to take the throne (which, considering how Zelda is [[DemotedToExtra treated throughout the story]], is almost a certainty).
** And according to Jenna, Zelda can only take the throne if she's ''married'' (despite the fact that Zelda has been canonically shown ruling Hyrule by herself without spouse or parents in the majority of the games), something Jenna is certain she will never do. No wonder, because [[RelationshipSue Jenna took Link first.]]
** Another of the author's fanfics, "Childhood Lost", features Zelda angsting about her lost childhood (while recapping Ocarina of Time). Although this is an interesting concept, Jen never wrote more than one chapter and mishandled it horribly, and it looks like if it had continued it would have ended with Zelda giving up her claim to the throne in favour of Jenna, all interspersed with inappropriate Music/MariahCarey lyrics.
* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: The Deku Tree and the King of Hyrule.

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