''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6147425/1/Hemiones_Talent Hermione's Talent]]'' by [[Fanfic/MyImmortal hotttopicgirl]] is a Literature/HarryPotter fanfic in which, according to the summary, Hermione demonstrates her titular talent of [[SongFic singing]] (!) to prove that [[FantasticRacism Muggles can be just as good as wizards]]. Then the angst lands and HilarityEnsues.

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!!''Hermione's Talent'' contains examples of:

* AbortedArc: Almost every subplot in the fic is one of these, as the author regularly seems to lose interest and fall back on having Hermione sing anachronistic songs until something else happens.
* AlphaBitch: This fic's version of Hermione is one. [[OutOfCharacter Yes.]]
* AnachronismStew: None of the songs that Hermione sings had been released when she was at Hogwarts. Also, the war is over but Dumbledore is somehow alive.
* BackFromTheDead: Dumbledore, apparently. We never learn how or why.
* BeigeProse: The entire fic consists of dialogue, internal monologue and [[SongFic copy-pasted song lyrics]], with no actual descriptions of anything or anyone.
* {{Chickification}}: Hermione, of course.
* ClusterFBomb: Almost all the dialogue.
* CollateralAngst: Draco's response to the DramaBomb.
* ContemplateOurNavels: Hermione does a lot of this when she's singing.
* CrapsaccharineWorld: It looks at first glance like a [[{{WAFF}} cute fluffy fic]] in which Hermione sings [[AuthorAppeal the author's favourite songs]] to her classmates and teachers. [[DarkerAndEdgier It isn't.]]
* CutenessProximity: Hermione, when faced with Merlin the kitten[[note]]who Draco bought as a ReplacementGoldfish for [[StuffedIntoTheFridge Crookshanks]] but later [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse vanished without a trace]][[/note]], does a very good impersonation of the Webcomic/{{XKCD}} strip illustrating that page.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: Hermione repeatedly refers to the day on which she caught Ron cheating with Lavender as their "one-year anniversary"; for all there are probably people who'd refer to a first anniversary that way, [[TheSmartGirl Hermione]] is ''not'' one of them.
* DiabolusExMachina: Dolohov appearing in the Forbidden Forest.
* DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch: The author doesn't seem to realise that "git" is a very mild insult in British English and [[SophisticatedAsHell contrasts sharply]] with [[ClusterFBomb the general tone of the rest of the dialogue]].
* DistressedDamsel: Hermione.
* DramaBomb: The plot consists entirely of standard-issue teen angst. Then [[EnsembleDarkhorse Antonin Dolohov]] appears in the Forbidden Forest, [[DroppedABridgeOnHim kills Ron]] and [[GratuitousRape rapes Hermione]].
* DroppedABridgeOnHim: Ron.
* FantasticRacism: The original premise was of Hermione demonstrating that {{Muggles}} were just as good as wizards, but this got overshadowed very quickly.
* FeaturelessPlaneOfDisembodiedDialogue: See BeigeProse.
* GratuitousRape: Happens to Hermione, and is apparently [[DarkerAndEdgier the favourite hobby of Death Eaters in this universe]]. Because they weren't evil enough already, clearly.
* HappilyEverAfter
* HowDoIUsedTense: The author seems averse to the past perfect tense, resulting in some rather awkward constructions.
* IKEAErotica: When Draco and Hermione get back together at the end of part 2, they have [[ShowDontTell what Draco tells us]] is the best sex ever. The description doesn't convey this.
* KarmaHoudini: Dolohov, via WhatHappenedToTheMouse.
* LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek: In Potterfic form.
* MurderersAreRapists: This appears to be the characterisation of the Death Eaters in this fic.
* NoIndoorVoice: Hermione, Ron and Lavender hold entire conversations in ALLCAPS.
* ObligatorySwearing: Hermione, who doesn't say anything stronger than "arse" in canon and that was her equivalent of a PrecisionFStrike, is now saying "fuck" every other word.
* ObviousBeta: Those parts of the fic that aren't copy-pasted from azlyrics.com appear to be somewhere between an outline and a first draft.
* OutOfCharacter: Everyone.
* PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy: Neville. Yes, ''Neville''.
* PresentDayPast
* ProductPlacement: The author's username.
* RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil: Now the Death Eaters were definitely '''not''' the most pleasant folks in canon, what with the [[ANaziByAnyOtherName Nazi allegory]] and the like. Still, they weren't, y'know, ''rapists''!
* RedemptionEqualsDeath: Ron's death is presented as this in-universe, but it's closer to StuffedIntoTheFridge.
* ReplacementGoldfish: Draco buys Merlin for Hermione to replace Crookshanks, but he only appears in the scene where he's introduced.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Constantly. Most notably, the official title is actually "Hemione's Talent".
* ShowDontTell: Very much averted.
* SlutShaming: Hermione tells Lavender that she's worse than Ron, even though ''he's'' the one who actually betrayed her, because she's a "slut". Lovely.
* SongFic: Several times over.
* SoundtrackDissonance: Perhaps best epitomised by [[http://wtffanfiction.tumblr.com/post/29153709861/fandom-harry-potter-now-ms-granger-shall-be this]] [=WTFFanfiction=] post, but none of the songs are a particularly good fit for anything to do with Harry Potter.
* SpiritualSuccessor: "Karaoke Night" by the same author isn't a sequel, but is a Hermione/Draco fic with a very similar premise but no horribly misjudged GratuitousRape (yet). The [[SongFic karaoke]] is still [[PresentDayPast anachronistic]] and accounts for [[{{Padding}} most of the wordcount]], the plot still consists entirely of a Hermione/Draco/Ron/Lavender/[[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Astroia"]] [[LoveDodecahedron love pentagon]] at an unspecified Hogwarts party and everyone still indulges in [[ClusterFBomb more ALLCAPS swearing]] than [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} Karkat Vantas]].
** As Blog/DasSporking put it: "[The author] decided that one fic about a Ron/Hermione/Draco/Lavender/Astoria love pentagon and the associated wangst against an anachronistic karaoke party backdrop with shouty sweary dialogue wasn't enough. She'd found her niche. Let's face it, there's hardly going to be writers queuing round the block to compete with her."
* StuffedIntoTheFridge: Crookshanks never appears in the story and we later learn that he died for no apparent reason. Ron's fate could also count.
* SuspiciouslyAproposMusic: Hermione tries to [[InvokedTrope invoke]] this in her choices of songs, especially early in the story.
* UnintentionalPeriodPiece: A disproportionate number of the songs in Hermione's Talent (especially part 2) were new when it was written in 2010-11, placing its PresentDayPast firmly in early 2011.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: How Harry and Ginny react (or rather, don't react) to Hermione dating Draco.
* WeAllLiveInAmerica: Even aside from the anachronism, a lot of the musical choices are not well known in the UK. To say nothing of how the characters talk.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: Lavender becomes a Death Eater (!) but then disappears from the story. As does Dolohov after Draco punches him. Merlin the [[ReplacementGoldfish Replacement Cat]] appears in all of one scene.
* XMeetsY: ''Fanfic/MyImmortal'' as a LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek. Alternatively, ''Fanfic/MyImmortal'' meets ''JerrySpringer'' meets ''Series/{{Glee}}''.
** With a dash of ''Hogwarts Exposed'' for the [[GratuitousRape worst moments]].
* YourCheatingHeart: Ron cheating on Hermione with Lavender is what starts the plot off. Draco also cheats on Hermione with [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Astroia"]] but they were "[[Series/{{Friends}} on a break]]" (in those exact words) so [[ProtagonistCentredMorality it's okay]].

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