''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6147425/1/Hemiones_Talent Hermione's Talent]]'' by [[Fanfic/MyImmortal hotttopicgirl]] is a Literature/HarryPotter fanfic in which, according to the summary, Hermione demonstrates her titular talent of [[SongFic singing]] (!) to prove that [[FantasticRacism Muggles can be just as good as wizards]]. Then the angst lands and HilarityEnsues.

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!!''Hermione's Talent'' contains examples of:

* AlphaBitch: This fic's version of Hermione is one. [[OutOfCharacter Yes.]]
* AnachronismStew: None of the songs that Hermione sings had been released when she was at Hogwarts. Also, the war is over but Dumbledore is somehow alive.
* BackFromTheDead: Dumbledore, apparently. We never learn how or why.
* BeigeProse: The entire fic consists of dialogue, internal monologue and [[SongFic copy-pasted song lyrics]], with no actual descriptions of anything or anyone.
* {{Chickification}}: Hermione, of course.
* ClusterFBomb: Almost all the dialogue.
* CollateralAngst: Draco's response to the DramaBomb.
* ContemplateOurNavels: Hermione does a lot of this when she's singing.
* CrapsaccharineWorld: It looks at first glance like a [[{{WAFF}} cute fluffy fic]] in which Hermione sings [[AuthorAppeal the author's favourite songs]] to her classmates and teachers. [[DarkerAndEdgier It isn't.]]
* CutenessProximity: Hermione, when faced with Merlin the kitten[[note]]who Draco bought as a ReplacementGoldfish for [[StuffedIntoTheFridge Crookshanks]] but later [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse vanished without a trace]][[/note]], does a very good impersonation of the Webcomic/{{XKCD}} strip illustrating that page.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: Hermione repeatedly refers to the day on which she caught Ron cheating with Lavender as their "one-year anniversary"; for all there are probably people who'd refer to a first anniversary that way, [[TheSmartGirl Hermione]] is ''not'' one of them.
* DiabolusExMachina: Dolohov appearing in the Forbidden Forest.
* DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch: The author doesn't seem to realise that "git" is a very mild insult in British English and [[SophisticatedAsHell contrasts sharply]] with [[ClusterFBomb the general tone of the rest of the dialogue]].
* DistressedDamsel: Hermione.
* DramaBomb: The plot consists entirely of standard-issue teen angst. Then [[EnsembleDarkhorse Antonin Dolohov]] appears in the Forbidden Forest, [[DroppedABridgeOnHim kills Ron]] and [[GratuitousRape rapes Hermione]].
* DroppedABridgeOnHim: Ron.
* FantasticRacism: The original premise was of Hermione demonstrating that {{Muggles}} were just as good as wizards, but this got overshadowed very quickly.
* FeaturelessPlaneOfDisembodiedDialogue: See BeigeProse.
* GratuitousRape: Happens to Hermione, and is apparently [[DarkerAndEdgier the favourite hobby of Death Eaters in this universe]]. Because they weren't evil enough already, clearly.
* HappilyEverAfter
* HowDoIUsedTense: The author seems averse to the past perfect tense, resulting in some rather awkward constructions.
* IKEAErotica: When Draco and Hermione get back together at the end of part 2, they have [[ShowDontTell what Draco tells us]] is the best sex ever. The description doesn't convey this.
* KarmaHoudini: Dolohov, via WhatHappenedToTheMouse.
* LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek: In Potterfic form.
* MurderersAreRapists: This appears to be the characterisation of the Death Eaters in this fic.
* NoIndoorVoice: Hermione, Ron and Lavender hold entire conversations in ALLCAPS.
* ObligatorySwearing: Hermione, who doesn't say anything stronger than "arse" in canon and that was her equivalent of a PrecisionFStrike, is now saying "fuck" every other word.
* ObviousBeta: Those parts of the fic that aren't copy-pasted from azlyrics.com appear to be somewhere between an outline and a first draft.
* OutOfCharacter: Everyone.
* PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy: Neville. Yes, ''Neville''.
* PresentDayPast
* ProductPlacement: The author's username.
* RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil: Now the Death Eaters were definitely '''not''' the most pleasant folks in canon, what with the [[ANaziByAnyOtherName Nazi allegory]] and the like. Still, they weren't, y'know, ''rapists''!
* RedemptionEqualsDeath: Ron's death is presented as this in-universe, but it's closer to StuffedIntoTheFridge.
* ReplacementGoldfish: Draco buys Merlin for Hermione to replace Crookshanks, but he only appears in the scene where he's introduced.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Constantly. Most notably, the official title is actually "Hemione's Talent".
* ShowDontTell: Very much averted.
* SlutShaming: Hermione tells Lavender that she's worse than Ron, even though ''he's'' the one who actually betrayed her, because she's a "slut". Lovely.
* SongFic: Several times over.
* SoundtrackDissonance: Perhaps best epitomised by [[http://wtffanfiction.tumblr.com/post/29153709861/fandom-harry-potter-now-ms-granger-shall-be this]] [=WTFFanfiction=] post, but none of the songs are a particularly good fit for anything to do with Harry Potter.
* SpiritualSuccessor: "Karaoke Night" by the same author isn't a sequel, but is a Hermione/Draco fic with a very similar premise but no horribly misjudged GratuitousRape (yet). The [[SongFic karaoke]] is still [[PresentDayPast anachronistic]] and accounts for [[{{Padding}} most of the wordcount]], the plot still consists entirely of a Hermione/Draco/Ron/Lavender/[[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Astroia"]] [[LoveDodecahedron love pentagon]] at an unspecified Hogwarts party and everyone still indulges in [[ClusterFBomb more ALLCAPS swearing]] than [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} Karkat Vantas]].
* StuffedIntoTheFridge: Crookshanks never appears in the story and we later learn that he died for no apparent reason. Ron's fate could also count.
* SuspiciouslyAproposMusic: Hermione tries to [[InvokedTrope invoke]] this in her choices of songs, especially early in the story.
* UnintentionalPeriodPiece: A disproportionate number of the songs in Hermione's Talent (especially part 2) were new when it was written in 2010-11, placing its PresentDayPast firmly in early 2011.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: How Harry and Ginny react (or rather, don't react) to Hermione dating Draco.
* WeAllLiveInAmerica: Even aside from the anachronism, a lot of the musical choices are not well known in the UK. To say nothing of how the characters talk.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: Lavender becomes a Death Eater (!) but then disappears from the story. As does Dolohov after Draco punches him. Merlin the [[ReplacementGoldfish Replacement Cat]] appears in all of one scene.
* XMeetsY: ''Fanfic/MyImmortal'' as a LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek. Alternatively, ''Fanfic/MyImmortal'' meets ''JerrySpringer'' meets ''Series/{{Glee}}''.
** With a dash of ''Hogwarts Exposed'' for the [[GratuitousRape worst moments]].
* YourCheatingHeart: Ron cheating on Hermione with Lavender is what starts the plot off. Draco also cheats on Hermione with [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Astroia"]] but they were "[[Series/{{Friends}} on a break]]" (in those exact words) so [[ProtagonistCentredMorality it's okay]].

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