[[quoteright:340:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/HemoAAEQ_4232.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:316:I'm a very boring person, I suppose. But I'm okay with that. I have to be, don't I?]]

A ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'' fanfiction by [[http://roachpatrol.tumblr.com/ Roachpatrol]] and [[http://urbananchorite.tumblr.com/ Urbananchorite]].

Alternia: where warm blood defines a troll's nobility, cold blood their commonality, and Her Imperial Luminescence Aradia Megido struggles to keep her people together. Whether or not she can do it before Ascension Day is another thing entirely.

In other words, where some fanfictions switch around the blood colors of the trolls, ''Hemostuck'' does a complete spectrum reversal with Aradia her Imperial Luminescence at the top and saltlickers Eridan and Feferi at the bottom. It's a gorgeously illustrated story that's as much about the characters as it is about the world they live in, with [[http://roachpatrol.tumblr.com/post/7250160196/hemostuck-religious-shenaniganry new gods]] and blue blood death matches and so much more. At the moment, it's split into three parts: ''Pretty Little Windstorm'', which focuses on Tavros being a resignedly badass dork and his uncouth lowblood friend who drags him on unseemly adventures; ''Fisher Prince'', which tells the story of Eridan Fucking Ampora, the swaggest seadweller to stalk the docks; and ''Lost Teeth Like White Jewels,'' a tale of how Karkat, a stubbornly atheist member of the Threshecutioner Corps gets involved in both hunting seamonsters and ridiculously tangled quadrant drama.

The stories themselves can be read [[http://archiveofourown.org/series/8470 here]]. Background information and tidbits of what lies ahead (there is quite a lot of thought being put into this great honking AU) can be found [[http://hemostuck.tumblr.com/ on this blog]] and in Roachpatrol's [[http://roachpatrol.tumblr.com/tagged/hemostuck Hemostuck tag.]]

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This series provides examples of:
* AllLovingHero: Karkat loves the whole world. [[EvenTheGuysWantHim The whole world loves Karkat right back.]]
* AllThereInTheManual: The Hemostuck tumblr and the notes on Roach's provide further information that can't be crammed into the story.
* AlternateUniverseFic: Oh, so very much. One, the hemospectrum is reversed. Two, no such thing as Sburb. Three, there might be more worldbuilding in this fic than there is in the comic proper. And four, the original human kids (and Karkat) are actual, definite gods who are taking a ''very'' close interest in the affairs of mortal trolls, especially a certain twelve.
* AuthorAvatar: The whole Threshecutioner Corps, in fact. More information [[http://hemostuck.tumblr.com/post/37466355960/hello-do-there-exist-martyn-yhosti-and-colleagues-in here]].
* {{Badass}}: ''Eridan,'' of all people, complete with BadassBoast.
--> "I'm Eridan fucking Ampora, thank you ever so," you snap. "I'm half shark and half hurricane, you get me? I can outrun, outfight, and outfuck any ten trolls put together and this was never your ''glubbin'' show in the first place!"
* BadassAdorable: Tavros, who is half metal alloy, half {{Adorkable}}, and a well-hidden core of UnstoppableRage.
* BadassCape: Subverted, Eridan just thinks Sollux's cape makes him look like a nerd.
* BizarreAlienReproduction: As explained [[http://hemostuck.tumblr.com/post/11268283865/anon-asks-what-is-exactly-the-reproductive here]].
* BloodSport: A series of death matches going on between the blue bloods that Vriska's involved with. Has a lot to do with politics. And cannibalism, because why not? [[spoiler:Through shenanigans, Vriska ends up getting Tavros crowned as the Blue King, which definitely won't have any negative repercussions at all.]]
* TheConsigliere: Tavros to Aradia.
-->'''Tavros''': It is, uh, totally the duty of the Empire's Grand Premier to behave with grace and diligent responsibility to each of her Luminesence's subjects, as he's, uh, the clear water that reflects the benevolence of, uh, her holy flame.
* CostumePorn: Court dress is fancy as can be.
* CoveredWithScars: Some trolls perform ritual scarification to dedicate themselves to a particular godhead - an atom for Frost and Frogs, a lightning bolt for Wind and Shade, and so on. A single ritualistic scar is the mark of someone pushing the far side of "zealot". So it's both alarming and unsurprising that Terezi has covered her entire upper body including her arms and minus her head with the iconography of Heat and Clockwork, crashing straight through "tribute" and out the other side to, in the words of the creators, "an epidermal dirty love letter."
* CoolBike: Vriska's flying motorcycle (proudly sporting the glorious name that is ''Fucksl8yer''). Very handy for kidnapping members of state for the sake of [[spoiler:participating in a death match over the mountains.]]
* DeathIsCheap: [[spoiler:Karkat, at one point in ''Lost Teeth'', pushes himself too far, has a heart attack, pukes blood, and dies, for real no pulse or breath busted heart and brain dead gone. Then he comes back. This has apparently ''occurred before''.]]
* DespairEventHorizon: Eridan experiences this when he thinks [[spoiler:Feferi has been killed.]]
* EvenTheGuysWantHim: ''Karkat.'' EveryoneIsBi as in canon, Karkat's job is to essentially pass out the hots to ''the whole goddamn world'', and gosh, he delivers.
* EveryoneIsRelated: The twelve characters are all related, by troll standards. Troll families are made up of one's quadrants, and theirs, and ''theirs'', as far out as you have to get to reach a closed system. Most people generally only worry about their "inclades", fairly close relatives of three removes or less. The characters form a "clade", a family made up of only inclades- meaning that by the time they're in their late teens, every one of them is related to all the others. This is explicitly very unusual; clades are rare, and usually have closer to seventy members than twelve.
* EverythingsDeaderWithZombies: Zombies feature heavily in Fisher-Prince. Why? Because they're awesome.
* ExpandedUniverse
* FantasticGhetto: The seadwellers get forced into the ghetto 'round the docks, and some of the worse-off end up living in what passes for the sewers.
* FantasyPantheon: A [[http://roachpatrol.tumblr.com/post/7250160196/hemostuck-religious-shenaniganryvery well-thought-out one]], in which each of the original four kids of ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'' is represented; and (somewhat bizarrely) Karkat, even though he is definitely living on Alternia being mortal. Having Rose as a Goddess introduces the rather intriguing concept [[spoiler:of her taint [[EverythingsDeaderWithZombies creating zombies out of recently killed trolls]]. From the last chapter of Fisher Prince, it can be surmised that she's using Eridan as an avatar for her grimdark purposes.]]
* FlatEarthAtheist: Eridan. Sort of.
** As of Lost Teeth, this is definitely Karkat. Interacting with four of the five gods in person? Being fed marshmallows by them? Watching them fight like siblings and laugh at the ridiculous clusterfuck of drama that is his life? It's a ''hallucination''. A really...oddly cohesive and persistent hallucination that knows things Karkat himself doesn't know. Yes. Right.
* HookerWithAHeartOfGold: As a threshecutioner, Karkat is basically a sacred whore. His role is to help other trolls with their social problems by any means necessary, up to an including providing feelings jams and hands-on sexual education. Good thing Karkat [[EthicalSlut really, really loves his job]].
* IllBoy: Karkat.
* ImpossiblyCoolClothes: There exists such a thing as formal dress ''armor'' designed to be simultaneously functional and awesome. There are clacky lacquered gloves that go with full-length gowns; there are knee-high boots with cloven toes and three-inch heels; there are double-breasted jackets or frock-coats on pretty much anybody. And there is so much jewelry. And that's just formal wear for the aristocracy or public servants. Blue-blood casual wear especially is HellbentForLeather and they have more piercings than you'd think would fit on any given body part, and Eridan, even as a dirt-poor sea-dweller, dresses so sharp he'd cut himself if he wasn't getting cuts all the time anyway from random knife-fights. But...
* ImpossiblyTackyClothes: ...Sollux Captor kind of overdoes it, in that he includes all three primary colors in his outfits, has a weird fixation with bees and swans around in a high-collared cape. To look upon him is to go gaudily deaf.
* LightIsNotGood[=/=]DarkIsNotEvil: As in canon, trolls are nocturnal, and effectively see the symbolism of light and dark (as understood by humans) backwards. Daytime is perilous and spent sleeping, night-time is safety and spent active. The face of god associated with darkness and voids (Pulse and Haze) is the most venerated and one of the most kindly, while the most fearsome and destructive is Light and Rain, called explicitly "the brightest face" and "the fair lady of light". There are references to "daymares" and "day terrors", and scattered all throughout the text are human turns of phrase with night and day switched around.
* LookingForLoveInAllTheWrongPlaces: Eridan.
* LoveDodecahedron: Karkat's section of the clade is rather messed-up around the time of ''Lost Teeth.'' Considering how much the relationships in the clade change over time, it's safe to say that all twelve trolls make up a loose, shifting LoveDodecahedron that gradually gets sorted out, and Karkat is just the center of a particular tangle.
* MarryThemAll: [[spoiler:Karkat is torn over which best friend to go flushed with -- Eridan or Sollux. This problem is solved by Karkat dating both of them. It helps that Eridan and Sollux are already in a caliginous relationship with each other, and are only too happy to compete over who's better at pleasuring their new matesprit.]]
* {{Mythopoeia}}: The authors have created own mythology pertaining to the five gods of Alternia. Readers are allowed to submit their own myths as well, and do so with reckless abandon. The Gods are based on the four original kids (and Karkat, sort of), like so:
** The God of Pulse and Haze, who governs voids, within and without; these include domain over space, romance, family, the future, the soul and destiny.
** The God of Heat and Clockwork, who governs the sun, order, intelligence, machines, progress and justice.
** The God of Frost and Frogs, who governs the jade moon, healing, sleep, dreams, nurturing love, natural death and rebirth.
** The God of Wind and Shade, who governs the sky, luck, fortune, chaos, bravery, joy and opportunity.
** The God of Light and Rain, who governs the rose moon, rain, the ocean, secrets, rage, vengeance and destruction.
** Note that none of the faces are unholy - though Wind and Shade and Light and Rain are both extremely chaotic, with [=W&S=] being a trickster deity and [=L&R=] a force of terrifying destruction, they're as vital to the makings of the world as their siblings and venerated as such.
** The seadwellers also venerate Frost and Frogs and Light and Rain as corruptions of ocean gods called 'the Sisters', who were subjugated by the male 'bright gods'. There were also the clown cultists, once, who worshipped twin Mirthful Messiahs, wore face-paint and wandered around in long caravans looting, killing and laughing it up. The worshippers have since been wiped out and anything that even looks like clown-cultism is now ''extremely'' illegal. Which makes Gamzee, a dedicated clown-cultist (albeit a nice one) rather a problem whenever he comes to shore or interacts with landdwellers.
* NayTheist: [[http://hemostuck.tumblr.com/post/24083877868/anonymous-asked-hemostuck-are-there-atheists Word of God]] describes "atheism" among the current youngest generation as basically this trope. "When someone in the upper cohorts says they’re ‘atheist’, they mean they don’t believe that God exists as anything but a convenient social construct. When the first cohort says they’re ‘atheist’, they pretty much just mean they’d like to stay out of God’s way." Even Karkat's attitude is described as closer to disbelieving in a political party than to disbelieving in the existence of something.
* OfficialCouple: So many that it requires a [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-Sf1AviSBaT-dd4p8TpURF0qZHVuwxoJigZiMqjYwLo/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1 shipping chart]] to keep track of all of them.
* TheOphelia: Feferi is very beautiful (all the more so because she's a pretty ''seadweller'' who has no scars or injuries at all; they tend to be CoveredWithScars and shabbily dressed and generally look like shit) and has a tenuous grasp on reality.
* OurZombiesAreDifferent: The methods for creating a zombie are numerous and varied. Also messy.
* PerfectlyArrangedMarriage: Tavros and Aradia's moirallegiance.
* PromotionToParent: The basis of their being moirails is how Eridan and Feferi agreed to be something like each other's lusii when they were kids and found themselves orphaned.
* RapeAsBackstory: Kanaya, Eridan. See below.
* RapeAsDrama: Kanaya and Eridan have had hard lives.
* SelfMadeOrphan: [[spoiler:Karkat. And all Threshcutioners]]
* SharpDressedMan: Eridan works extremely hard for this, to the point of obsessing over stains in his single well-made jacket. Karkat, in his fancy Threshecutioner outfit, pulls this off effortlessly. Sollux doesn't look too shabby in his pinstripes and waistcoat, either.
* SmokingIsCool: All through Pretty Little Windstorm, Tavros can be seen trying very hard to abstain while everyone but his moirail is annoyed at how tetchy he gets without his fix. [[spoiler:By the end, he gives up on quitting and rejoins Vriska in the terrible wonderful habit.]]
* SweetTooth: Karkat to a mildly disgusting degree (though justified by his illness - either he's sick and needs energy to keep going, or recovering and needs energy to heal). He likes his coffee as syrup, essentially, and has been known to carefully gather all the leftover sugar from an empty snack box and dump it into his mouth, as well as eat powered sugar from the bag.
* TangledFamilyTree: ''Like you wouldn't believe.'' Yet somehow it keeps from being dysfunctional.
* UnreliableNarrator: [[spoiler: Karkat in Lost Teeth.]]
* UnresolvedSexualTension: Confirmed by the authors that there is definitely a ''thing'' between Karkat and Eridan, although they try to ignore it most of the time.
* WithThisRing: Trolls exchange rings when they officially become a couple in any quadrant, though it's rarest in the ashen. One of Eridan's more regular sources of income is pawning off Sollux' kismesis ring to annoy him.