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[[caption-width-right:293:TheyFightCrime]]
The Hound and the Blacksmith is a VisualNovel/FateStayNight fic written by Elf, the Mistress of Porn. It stars Archer, Lancer, and Ayako as they live their lives after the 5th Holy Grail War. It follows Archerís romantic problems, Lancerís courtship of Ayako, and the eventual partnership between Archer and Lancer.

The Hound and the Blacksmith can be found on [[http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/176-The-Hound-and-the-Blacksmith Beastís Lair]] and [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6884089/1/The_Hound_and_the_Blacksmith_The_First_Case Fanfiction.net]].

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* AlmightyJanitor: Lancer, Cu Chulainn, the Hound of Ulster, Irelandís Son of Light, works at a supermarket.
** To an extent, Archer fits this as Tohsakaís 'creepy butler.'
* AffablyEvil: Gilgamesh. Evil is debatable though.
* AntiHero: One of the few things Lancer and Archer have in common.
* AssholeVictim: Shinji.
* BigDamnHeroes: [[spoiler: Sakura saves Ayako when she is being attacked by Dead!Shinji.]]
* BoisterousBruiser: Lancerís solution to an enemy his lance thrusts backfired on is to hit it ''harder.''
* BoyMeetsGirl: Or rather, "Girl meets resurrected Celtic demigod."
* BuddyCopShow: The premise of the story. Elf even admits that the story was inspired by 80ís buddy cop films like ''Film/LethalWeapon''.
* CantHoldHisLiquor: Which is how Archer manages to wind up joining Gilgamesh in singing Bohemian Rhapsody (quite terribly off key) in the back of a limo.
* CanNotSpitItOut: Averted. Archer manages to tell Rin he wants to go with her when itís already too late.
* CatchPhrase: Archer's got one.
-->"Stupid low luck rating."
* ChekhovsGag: Gilgamesh once jokes that, since everything is made pure again when it's reborn, [[spoiler:Archer is technically a virgin]]. Guess what the vampires are looking for.
* CunningLikeAFox: Ayako all the way. [[spoiler: Outsmarts an enemy that had Lancer on the ropes.]]
* DeadpanSnarker: We got this all around the cast.
* DepravedBisexual: "Flirting" for Gilgamesh involves very ethically dubious activities.
-->Gilgamesh was going to approach Rin to work for him, Rin, unknowing who he was exactly, was going to take the offer. Archer cut her off and it ended in combat. Or rather, bound in divine chains with Gilgamesh laughing in his ear as something poked him that he really didnít want to think about.
* DidntThinkThisThrough: Lancer didn't think too hard about [[spoiler:leaving Archer alone in the Matou mansion in the same room as a dangerous vampire]] in chapter 18. [[WhatTheHellHero He gets called out on this.]]
* DirtyOldMan: Archer. And [[DepravedBisexual Gilgamesh]] for that matter.
* DoubleEntendre: Lancerís full of them.
-->'''Lancer:''' Go on, pretty vixen. Take a lick at me.
-->'''Ayako:''' Okay, that just sounded wrong.
-->'''Lancer:''' You were the one who twisted my words, Ayako. Now if you want to take a ''lick'' at me I'd be more than happy to return the favor.
-->'''Ayako:''' God you're really perverted, you know that?
-->'''Lancer:''' I come by it honestly, but if it'll make you feel more at ease go ahead and give me a good hard blow.
-->'''Ayako:''' Ack! God youíre still doing it.
-->'''Lancer:''' Give me a good beating?
-->'''Ayako:''' No!

-->'''Lancer:''' I'll believe anything you tell me, but out in the open's not the place to go baring yourself.
-->'''Ayako:''' Youíre doing it again, Lancer!
* EvenTheGuysWantHim: Gilgamesh is GAR for Archer and not particularly subtle about it.
* {{Fiction500}}: Gilgamesh has his own company. It is obscenely lucrative. Such is the power of the Golden Rule.
* FriendlyNeighborhoodVampire: Zelretch bails Rin out with the Association. But the other vampires in the storyÖ.not so much.
* FreudianTrio: Lancer is the Id, Ayako is the Ego, Archer is the Superego.
* FriendlyEnemy: Archer gets along with Gilgamesh and Lancer pretty well.
* HappilyEverAfter: Referenced by Ayako with regards to Lancer.
* GenreSavvy: Ayako. Sometimes. See TemptingFate.
--> Ayako wasnít seeing Happily Ever After in their future, but she was seeing Happily Now.
* GetOutOfJailFreeCard: Gilgamesh has one for Archer. Archer is less than pleased.
* GroinAttack: Ayako manages to get one over on [[spoiler:Ethan]] by punching [[spoiler:''herself'']] in the groin.
* HeadbuttingHeroes: Archer and Shirou. Shirouís more or less given up on being a hero though.
* HeroesGoneFishing[=/=]VillainsOutShopping: Gilgamesh manages to get Archer sufficiently drunk enough to sing along to [[Music/{{Queen}} "Bohemian Rhapsody"]] with him. He then demands that someone hunt down this Freddie Mercury fellow so that he can sing for him personally at all times, only to discover to his annoyance that the singer in question is too dead to do that.
* HomoeroticSubtext: Between Archer and Gilgamesh. It is ''hilarious.''
* HonestyIsTheBestPolicy: Lancer comes clean with Ayako shockingly quickly in the story.
* HotBlooded: Lancer.
* ICallHimMisterHappy: "You did not just refer to your genitalia as Ďmy boys.í"
* IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer: Just about everyone has given Lancer this speech regarding his relationship with Ayako.
* ILoveYouBecauseICantControlYou: Apparently, this is the reason why Archer is Gilgamesh's 'favorite subject'. Archer is...not that thrilled at this revelation.
--> '''Archer''': "That's rather fucked up."
* IntergenerationalFriendship: Archer and Lancer, after a fashion. They both come from two different time periods. Theyíre not friends yet, but the premise of the story all but guarantees they will be.
* KissOfTheVampire: Rider to Ayako. Ayako does not look back on it fondly.
* KnightInSourArmor: Archer.
* LadykillerInLove: Lancer's biggest hurdle in his relationship with Ayako is proving that he's really not just a hopeless pervert trying to get in her pants. This is not helped by the fact that his quite various sexual exploits (most damningly, the ones he had while ''married'') are conveniently available on Wikipedia for anyone's reading pleasure.
-->'''Lancer:''' Next person who says, ďI know what kind of person you are, Iíve read your story,Ē to me is going to get my fist in their face.
* LaughablyEvil: Gilgamesh.
* LightningBruiser: Lancer is fast, strong, and smart. He also has rune magic as a back-up.
* NaiveNewcomer: Ayako
* NoSell: Lancer is pretty much immune to Eloise's "want" power, much to her consternation.
* NobleDemon: Eloise somewhat, when compared to [[CardCarryingVillain her companions]] anyway. She certainly doesn't ''have'' to target murderers, rapists and molesters to survive.
* OddCouple: Archer and Lancer.
* OurVampiresAreDifferent: They have superpowers that can take out cocky Heroic Spirits.
* ParentheticalSwearing: "I've read your story" is everyone's way of calling Lancer a manwhore.
* RapeAsDrama: There are elements of this between Rider and Ayako. Lancer is more than ready to kill Rider over it.
* ReallyGetsAround: Lancer, being Cu Chulainn and all, has a very colorful sexual history that anybody with access to the internet could find. "I've read your story" quickly becomes shorthand for "I know you are incapable of keeping it in your pants."
* RedOniBlueOni: Archer is the Blue Oni and Lancer is the Red. Inverted by their battle attire.
* ShoutOut: Apparently [[Anime/YuGiOh Seto and Mokuba]] work for Fujimura.
* SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan: Archerís the sensitive guy and Lancerís the manly man.
* SupernaturallyDeliciousAndNutritious: Rider takes a rather unsettling liking towards Ayako for this reason.
* SuperpowerLottery: Ethanís is pretty good.
* TemptingFate: Ayako.
--> Not like I'm going to get attacked by another vampire or anything.
* TheNoseKnows: Lancerís got it.
* TheyFightCrime: Goes hand in hand with a [[BuddyCopShow Buddy Cop Story.]]
* TooDumbToLive: Shinji propositions a vampire for sexual favors in return for shelter. She starts giving a blowjob and [[{{Squick}} uses her teeth.]]
* {{Tsundere}}: Rin is the obvious one. Archer is much less so. Doesnít stop Sakura from calling him on it.
* UnresolvedSexualTension: Archer and Rin, because Archer confessed far too late.
* UrbanFantasy
* VirginPower: The blood of virgins is useful to vampires for keeping their bodies from degenerating. This is why they're so interested in Ayako [[spoiler:and Archer]].
* VitriolicBestBuds: Archer and Lancer have this in spades.
* WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer: Subverted, as Lancer's solution of "stab him even harder" just makes things worse for himself.
* WineIsClassy: Gilgamesh loves his booze and is willing to share! Even if Archer canít hold his own worth a damn.
* WunzaPlot: "One's a Celtic demi-god with a lust for battle and the ladies, the other is a former Counter Guardian who's body is made of swords. Together they fight the forces of evil. Or something."
* {{Yakuza}}: Archer works for it.
* YouWouldntBelieveMeIfIToldYou: What Ayako tells Lancer when he asks about Rider attacking her at night and drinking her blood. Not only does Lancer believe her, he then proceeds to [[BrokenMasquerade systematically destroy the entire Masquerade]] for her.
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