Officially entitled "soulless shell", complete with missing caps, this fic has been dubbed the [[FanFic/LegolasByLaura legolas by laura]] of the {{Redwall}} fandom, and described as being "like a badfic bingo card". To attempt to summarise this thing:

The story begins with the introduction of Leif Melyamos, a half-rat half-mouse, whose parents are killed by a mysterious organisation of evil which captures him and declares him to be the "crimson king" (apparently no relation to Franchise/TheDarkTower series). They demand he demonstrate his powers, and it's revealed very suddenly that he has the ability to [[CanonDefilement shoot beams from his paws and teleport, by which fact no beast seems very surprised for some reason]]. Skip an uncertain amount of time, and Leif has become the leader of the mysterious organisation of evil, despite being a good guy at heart. His rival, Councilman [[AerithAndBob Arnold]], is accused of rape and Leif has him arrested, only to have him escape. Luckily Leif is on a date nearby with his fangirl Maiomi, who is supposed to be seventeen but [[{{Lolicon}} acts seven]] because the author can't write female characters convincingly, finds Arnold, and slaughters him messily while in his brand new randomly-appearing monster form, which has horns and wings. Leif then goes on a quest to find his father's magical sword, which demands a sacrifice of blood before it will let him use it. The story ends abruptly there, as the author has not resumed it since.

The original can be found [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3940868/1/soulless_shell here]] and the {{MST}} [[http://lycaenion.livejournal.com/8874.html#cutid1 here]]. The dramatic reading is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmYn9OMQU7Q&feature=PlayList&p=3E7FD1033F3575BB&playnext_from=PL&index=0&playnext=1 here.]]

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!!This fanfic provides examples of:

* AdaptationDecay: Putting it mildly.
* AerithAndBob: Characters' names include Leif, Maoimi, Aveena, Karas, Thrnos, Monroe, and Arnold.
* AttentionDeficitOohShiny: Raynold's only defining characteristic.
* AuthorityEqualsAsskicking: For Leif, and it's mentioned that Cataros is an experienced spy while Rajh is a veteran warrior. By contrast, the rest of the council is mostly useless.
* BadassBoast: The CrowningMomentOfFunny is an attempt at one of these.
* BeigeProse: "Ahh he yelled as he slashed him his blood hit the floor."
* BlackComedyRape: Unintentionally so.
* BizarroEpisode
* BoringInvincibleHero: There are no opponents who could present any sort of challenge to Leif.
* CardboardPrison: Arnold talks his guards into letting him out and joining him in revenge against Leif.
* CurbStompBattle: Leif against everyone he fights. Lampshaded in the encounter with three of Arnold's guards (who, to be fair, as {{Mook}}s, wouldn't give most heroes any trouble, either).
* DarkerAndEdgier: Well, at least it's trying to be.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: At one point, Thrnos bows twice in a single run-on sentence.
* DirtyOldMan: Arnold.
* DualWielding: Leif in his demon form.
* WickedWeasel: Arnold is a ferret.
* FatBastard: Arnold, again. He's even described as one in-story.
* FatIdiot: Arnold. See TooDumbToLive.
* FrickinLaserBeams
* HugeGuyTinyGirl: Leif isn't actually all that big in his mortal form, but Maoimi apparently can't reach above his waist.
* InNameOnly: This thing bears no relation to the canon except for the fact that it's briefly mentioned that the characters are rats/mice/foxes/ferrets/whatever, and are the "evil" species of the world. Except Leif is half-rat half-mouse and is a good guy, yet is the leader of the bad guys ... [[MST3KMantra Try not to think about it too hard.]]
* IndecisiveParody: It can't be real, right?
* InterspeciesRomance: Leif's father was a rat and his mother was a mouse. He himself engages in the beginnings of a romance with the rat Maoimi, but the sequel "Blood omen" mentions that he eventually married another character named Maria, who was referred to as a human, though it's unclear if the author actually meant she was a human or if he just lost track of the fandom.
* KnifeNut: Leif likes to wield daggers and throwing knives.
* LaResistance: Maria and her mother are the leaders of the "rebel group zaridos".
* LargeHam: Leif. See "Narm".
* {{Lolicon}}: Seemingly Maoimi, who behaves like a toddler and apparently can't reach above Leif's waist when hugging him.
-->Ara: "Wait, wait, she's seventeen? We've been making paedophile jokes the whole time for a reason, she acts like she's seven!"
* MostFanficWritersAreGirls: Averted - the author claimed to be a fifteen-year-old boy. The evidence suggests he is indeed male, but is probably lying about his age, if he's not trolling.
* MSTing: See links.
* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands
* NoEnding: The author appears to have gotten bored with it, or discouraged by the lack of reviews.
* NoHoldsBarredBeatdown: Leif performs one on Arnold.
* NoPunctuationPeriod
* ObligatorySwearing
* OddNameOut: Arnold. See the MST:
-->"It's really just the 'Arnold' bit that's bugging me, because the first thing I thought of was the governor of California. You can tell the author's just out of ideas."
* [[OlderThanTheyLook Older Than They Sound]]: Maoimi.
* OneWingedAngel: Leif's bizarre winged transformation, which comes completely out of left field.
* RapeAsDrama
* ReasonableAuthorityFigure: Leif.
* RedEyesTakeWarning: Leif.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Especially "Councilmen Rajh, Councilmen Arnold" etc. How many of each of them are there?
** “Common im defiantly a match for you”
* ScarsAreForever: On Rajh.
* SaidBookism: "Replied" is the most common alternative to "said", and is used so often it's almost a subversion.
* ShoutOut: The "crimson king" routine is a reference to the DemonsAndWizards song "Crimson King". The song itself was based on Franchise/TheDarkTower, though it's unclear if the writer knows this. Also, in the sequel "Blood omen", the hero Zain sings the Music/{{Helloween}} song "Keeper of the Seven Keys" for reasons having apparently nothing to do with the story.
* SpellMyNameWithAnS: Raynold/Reynold
* StealthParody / TrollFic: The quality implies it's intentionally bad, though there's something eerily earnest about it.
* TeleportersAndTransporters: Leif as well as at least one other person.
* ToThePain: See CrowningMomentOfFunny.
* TheUnpronounceable: Thrnos.
* TooDumbToLive / WhatAnIdiot: Arnold falls for Leif's not very clever bluff when threatened with execution for rape, inadvertently confessing to his crimes while begging for mercy as Leif sentences him to death. It's suggested that had he not done that, Leif might not have had enough evidence to actually sentence him to death. He then breaks out of prison, and not only is dumb enough to want to kill [[GodModeSue Leif]] in revenge, but tries to rape a young girl first, pushing Leif's BerserkButton and earning him a messy death at the hands of his OneWingedAngel form. Apparently, he didn't even think to bring the guards he recruited with him, although given how easily Leif dispatches them soon afterward, they wouldn't have done much good.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: Nobody reacts in the slightest to Leif's monster form and beam-shooting.
* WaifFu: The first fight scene with Leif learning to shoot beams from his paw takes place when Leif is only three or four (we think, it's quite hard to tell with the clumsy pacing).
* WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma: When there actually ''is'' any punctuation whatever.
* VerbalTic: Leif often inserts "ehs" into his sentences.

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