''[[http://web.archive.org/web/20120425003400/https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6672938/1/Loves_Heartstrings Love's Heartstrings]]'' is one of infamous FanFic writer Creator/SueMary's stories. Stating that she didn't have enough "romanse" in her fanfiction, she wrote what is certainly the romantic drama of the ages... and chose Series/HannahMontana and Po of ''Franchise/KungFuPanda'' [[CrackPairing as the star-crossed lovers]].

The "story" begins with both Hannah and Po both feeling that they "lack the happy tru relashunships", but a chance encounter at "Tarbucks" over a cup of "[[RougeAnglesOfSatin Coughy]]" changes everything. Impressed by Po's ability to save [[Film/DieHard John McClane]] from terrorists, Hannah agrees to go on a date with him. After a dinner at "Red Loster" and an inexplicable cameo by [[strike:MC King Kong Mushi]] "[[VideoGame/ParappaTheRapper Da Ocopose Guy from Prappa Rappa]]", they are firmly in love. But Hannah's abusive and alcoholic father [[strike: Billy Ray Cyrus]] Rubray Cryust interferes and causes a horrible tragedy.

As one can imagine from that summary, ''Love's Heartstrings'' is chock-full of {{Narm}}, RougeAnglesOfSatin, and features the most bizarre examples of RonTheDeathEater and DracoInLeatherPants ever seen in fanfiction.

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!!This fanfic provides examples Of:

* BestialityIsDepraved: Billy Ray Cyrus rapes Po.
* BigNo: Though it's actually spelled as a "[[RougeAnglesOfSatin Big Moo]]".
* BlackComedyRape: Unintentional, but the idea of Billy Ray Cyrus raping ''[[BestialityIsDepraved Po]]'' is just too {{narm}}y to be taken seriously.
* CrackPairing / CrossoverCouple: Hannah and Po. [[invoked]]
* CrossoverCameo: "The Guy from [[Film/DieHard Dye Hard]]", "[[VideoGame/ParappaTheRapper Da Ocapose Guy from Prappa Rappa]]", and even [[Film/OneFlewOverTheCuckoosNest Nurse Ratched]] appear in the story for no reason other than perceived AuthorAppeal.
* DisappearedDad: After [[spoiler:raping Po]], Billy Ray Cyrus "went gone". He returns for a final showdown at the story's conclusion.
%%* FunetikAksent: A staple of Sue Mary's stories.
* IAmNotShazam: Po is only called by his actual name ''once'' in the whole story. Every other time he's referred to as some misspelled variant of Kung Fu Panda (and one other time as [[Franchise/WinnieThePooh Poo]]). [[invoked]]
* NonIndicativeName: About halfway through the story, the words "Chapter 3: The Kung-Fu King of Kackistan" appear. There is never a Kung Fu King or a place called Kackistan mentioned again.
%%* RapeAsDrama: Attempted, see BlackComedyRape.
%%* DoubleStandardRapeMaleOnMale: Double-subverted, in effect?
* ThePowerOfLove: Hannah and Po use this to defeat [[strike: Billy Ray]] Rubray.
* UnusualEuphemism: During the final battle, Billy Ray Cyrus "aws naked and they could see his huge 'kelp bunny'."
** It gives "[[Fanfic/ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen the mancarrot]]" a run for its money.
* WordSaladTitle: Both ''Love's Heartstrings'' and Chapter 3: The Kung-Fu King of Kackistan.
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