-> "this year we got fucking magic computers up in this bitch. we got internet. we got fucking playstation and xbox. we got facebook."
-->-- "Dumbldeer"

''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8295909/1/Harry_Potter_Uses_Facebook_For_The_First_Time Harry Potter Uses Facebook For The First Time]]'' is a fanfic by {{THEPETEPETERSONEXPERIENCE}}. [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin True to its title]], the story finds [[Franchise/HarryPotter the Boy who Lived]] setting up an account on [[Website/{{Facebook}} the popular social networking site]] after [[WizardingSchool Hogwarts]] gets "magic computers". [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity]] (not to mention [[CrackFic insanity]]) ensues.
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!!Tropes:

* AnachronismStew: As to be expected of the author of Fanfic/IndianaJonesDotCom and Fanfic/RedDeadRedemptionButWithAGoodEnding. Despite the early-to-mid '90s setting of the books, Harry uses Facebook, adds Music/LilWayne to his "Like" list, fights Music/JustinBieber, parties to Music/{{LMFAO}}, and plays [[VideoGame/ModernWarfare Modern Warfare 3]] on his Xbox 360. He also would have seen ''Film/TheDarkKnightRises'' on Blu-Ray if Ron hadn't walked in on his parents having sex while going to get it.
* GroinAttack: Harry tries one on Music/JustinBieber during their fight, only for it to fail. Turns out that Justin has "no balls or even a penis".
* IAteWhat: Snape eats Harry's shit, thinking it's chocolate, as part of Harry's "super fucking devious" plan.
* Music/JustinBieber: Shows up as the new student in Potions class. He quickly gets in a fight with the other students, who win the fight by attempting to give him a wedgie by attaching his underwear to a window, only for him to fall and "probably" die.
* TheInternetIsForPorn: All Neville seems interested in doing on his new "magic computer" is looking up porn.
* ToiletHumor: Snape apparently smoked so much that it gave him diarrhea so bad, it "even flooded the potion room". And when it's revealed that he also has cancer, Dumbledore makes all of the students send Snape presents. Harry's present? He buys a box of chocolates, dumps all the chocolates out, and takes "a big stinky shit" in the box. [[IAteWhat Which Snape eats when he receives the present]].
--> "this must be yuro-pee-in chocolate which is why it smells funny" snaep siad.
--> "more like euro-poop-in chocolate if you know what i mean ;)" the nurse said.
--> "i don't get it bitch. get out!" snape said. he went back to snuff the chocolates.



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