Describe Hagrid and the Skoolgurlz here.

[[CrackFic How?]]

[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5640811/1/Hagrid_and_the_Skoolgurlz Hagrid and the Skoolgurlz]] is a strange ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' fan fiction story about Hagrid and his heavy metal band. Once Grawp dies of a tumor, Hagrid fulfills his last wish by forming a heavy metal band with Ron, Luna, Hermione, Aragog, Dumbledore, and [=McGonagall.=] The band then does around the world using their [[Literature/MagicSchoolBus Magic Tour Bus]] and... destroy every town they go to.

And while they are gone, Hogwarts has a [[ZombieApocalypse slight problem]] that Harry, Malfoy, and Cho Chang need to take care of.

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!!This work provides examples of:

* ADateWithRosiePalms: Neville finds a closet filled with Playboys when he, Harry, Draco, and Cho are searching for weapons to fight the zombies. He enters and never leaves.
* ArtifactTitle: Even though his name is in the title, Hagrid seems to have the least screen time devoted to him. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] as the title is ''the band's'' name.
* [[PersonOfMassDestruction Band Of Mass Destruction]]: Any place the band plays a gig at will likely get destroyed somehow. [[spoiler: NAMBLA is disbanded due to all the boys growing up thanks to rock n' roll, Ireland blows up, France is destroyed by a reality tear caused by [[ButtMonkey Ron]] having sex, Fanfic is destroyed along with [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing 75% of the world's Mary Sues]], and Gotham City...[[AvertedTrope is spared]], though the band does end up wanted by the Justice League. Hipsterville is also undamaged for now.]]
* BestialityIsDepraved: This exchange, shortly after the zombies invade the school.
-->'''Draco:''' Dammit Harry! How did this happen!
-->'''Harry:''' Hey, Neville did it! He was the one that called that zombie sex line!
-->'''[[ExtremeOmnisexual Neville]]:''' But I thought it said "zebra" sex line!
-->'''Cho:''' That doesn't make it better!
* ButtMonkey: Ron, big time.
-->'''Luna:''' ''(after landing in Paris)'' Weren't we going to Darfur?
-->'''Hagrid:''' Shut up, Ron!
-->'''Ron:''' But I didn't...!
* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: Hagrid calls them this when they go to Paris.
* CrackFic
* CloudCuckoolander: Dumbledore, Luna, and sometimes Hagrid.
* EatsBabies: Aragog. He joins the band "for the bite-sized children."
* EpicFail: During the band's gig in Gotham, ''the entire Bat family'' shows up to arrest them, as well as all the supervillains in attendance...but then they start arguing amongst themselves, allowing the band and the supervillains to escape. Except Catwoman, who just slow claps. Even better, Batman's comment afterwards implies this isn't the first time this has happened.
* GagBoobs: Hermione's can eat people. And talk.
* GratuitousJapanese: At [[MarySue Sailor Earth's]] request, Voldemort sings a love song, "with a lot of Japanese words".
* {{Irony}}: [[MyImmortal Ebony's]] flyer misspells "Hagrid and the Skoolgurlz" by spelling "schoolgirls" correctly.
* KatanasAreJustBetter:
-->Cho grabbed a crossbow, a Magnum Pistol, and a katana, because ''katanas are just better''
* MarySue: In universe. The band visits a place called Fanfic, California, full of all kinds of Mary Sues, including [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella Swan]]. Voldemort then forms a band, called Midnight Xtasy. Each member introduces themself by stating what type of Sue they are. The band consists of Voldemort, [[CopyCatSue Sailor Earth]], [[FixerSue Peggy Shipper]], [[PuritySue Lapis Lazuli]], [[SympatheticSue Madison Misery]], [[JerkSue Nocturne Langley]] and [[GodModeSue Leon Goldborn]].
** ThirtySuePileup: Mentioned by name.
* NoIndoorVoice: Hargid in particular, but there is much screamed dialogue in this fic.
* NoFourthWall
* {{Oireland}}: Every stereotype imaginable is used. [[spoiler: And then it explodes.]]
* PutOnABus: [[spoiler: [=McGonagall=]. Literally.]]
* RacistGrandma: [=McGonagall=]. The writers acknowledge ([[AuthorFilibuster in-story]]) that she has a lot of depth in the novels, but they thought it would be more fun to write her as a jerk/racist. [[spoiler:Later, she is forced to become the new [[Literature/MagicSchoolBus Mrs. Frizzle]]... for a group of elementary-age black children.]]
* RefugeInAudacity: At one of its tamer moments, [[spoiler: Snape takes advantage of the zombie outbreak by [[ILoveTheDead getting it on with a zombified Lily]].]]
* RelaxOVision: "Aragog had to make an example of Ron. Use your imagination, because if I said what he did, I would be banned from every nook and cranny on the internet. Yes, even /b/."
* RememberTheNewGuy: Apparently, [[spoiler: Dobby]] was in the band since day one. [[spoiler:But no one really cares when he dies.]]
* RunningGag: People mistaking Aragog for various bugs and crabs.
** Also, Ron's rabies. [[spoiler: Aragog gets sick of the joke and sucks the rabies out of him.]]
* ShoutOut: Several, mostly to bad fanfiction and MyImmortal.
** Luna steals two boys from a NAMBLA meeting. Their names are [[KingdomHearts Sora and Riku]].
** Draco says they should go to [[Theatre/AVeryPotterMusical Pigfarts]] to escape the zombies. Harry scoffs at the idea...[[spoiler: and then kills Rose Potter.]]
** Hermione's response to [[spoiler: being replaced as manager by a random mystery woman?]]
-->'''Hermione:''' I'mma start my own band! [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} And we'll have blackjack! And strippers! In fact, forget the band!]]
** The song "My Old Manager's A Bitch" is [[SuspiciouslySimilarSong rather similar]] to [[Literature/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas the Grinch song.]]
* ThePowerOfRock: Can turn boys into men. [[spoiler:This is what ruins NAMBLA.]]
* TheReveal: [[spoiler: The mystery woman who becomes the band's manager is Pocahontas, and she wants the band to keep doing gigs and destroying places instead of solving Hogwarts' zombie issue.]] [[DeadFic Unfortunately, the author has not updated since this reveal.]]
* UnexplainedRecovery: The random Irish man. [[spoiler:He later dies with the rest of Ireland.]]
** Also Ron, after Aragog "makes an example" of him.
* YaoiFangirl: Luna
** YaoiGuys: Sora and Riku, Luna's "Yaoi Pets".
* ZombieApocalypse: Harry, Draco, and Cho end up having to deal with one back at Hogwarts.