[[quoteright:215:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/221617581zv79w4w_9586.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:215: The most effective way to make [[Literature/{{Twilight}} four]] [[Franchise/HarryPotter fandoms]] [[Manga/YuYuHakusho cry in]] [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog unison]].]]
-> When [[MarySue Dally Darkblood]], a [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampire]] [[Franchise/HarryPotter Ravenclaw]], goes to [[Franchise/HarryPotter Hogwarts]], with her best [[RougeAnglesofSatin fren]], [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward Cullen]], and then [[Manga/YuYuHakusho Hiei]], [[FromBadToWorse things began to get]] intresting. [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Shadow the]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Hegehog]] comes and then [[Franchise/HarryPotter Dumbleddore]] [[RonTheDeathEater turns out to be not so good after]] [[{{Beergasm}} ale]]. With the [[RougeAnglesofSatin asstence]] of close friends and family and a [[AWizardDidIt lil wizard magic]], [[BlatantLies Hogwarts will be]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin sale fo]] [[BlatantLies the students once more...]]
-->Dallas Philpott, "[[RougeAnglesofSatin introdiction]] to the story"

The above summary does not even begin to capture the pure MindScrew that is Face The Strange (or, as it is spelled officially, "[=FaCe ThE StRaNgE=]"), a TrollFic written in an attempt to write the worst FanFic ever. [[MarySue Dally Darkblood]] is a young lady who happens to be [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot both a vampire and a witch]]. She is invited to go to [[Franchise/HarryPotter Hogwarts]] along with a certain young man named [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward Cullen]] who has been having some issues with his girlfriend [[RomanticFalseLead Bella Swan]]. On the train, they happen to run into [[Manga/YuYuHakusho Hiei]], who is selling candy to pay for his trip to Hogwarts and [[PossessionSue hits on Dally a few times]]. They also encounter [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Shadow]], the [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight anthropomorphic hedgehog]]. When they actually get into Hogwarts, Dally and Hiei decide to get it on and use magic to turn their bodily fluids into water in order to avoid impregnating Dally. Little do they know, however, that a [[CrazyJealousGuy very jealous Edward]] is spying on them, and decides to use his magic to teach Dally a lesson.

[[FromBadToWorse And it only gets worse]] [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs (and weirder)]] [[FromBadToWorse from there.]]

The [[UpToEleven even more twisted lovechild]] of ''FanFic/BrewdeningLove'' and Fanfic/MyImmortal, Face The Strange is a true test of whether [[TheInternetIsForPorn the Internet has truly made a person resistant to terror and having their childhood ruined]]. If you are feeling brave, you can read it yourself [[http://xdallyx.webs.com/thestory.htm here]], but be warned that '''it quickly becomes NSFW.'''

And now there is a sporking of it [[http://www.projectafterforums.com/index.php?showtopic=1729&hl= here]][[note]]Though note that it's far more homophobic and bigoted than the actual fic[[/note]]! And [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1VAoVlEPko&feature=g-upl&context=G2e9dd99AUAAAAAAAAAA dramatic]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWU7Ex81TGU readings]]!
----
!! Face The Strange contains examples of:

* ADateWithRosiePalms: Hiei, in Chapter 13, goes to "study" with Sasuke.
* AbortedArc: Considering he never gets a HeelFaceTurn moment and is inexplicably good again after the TimeSkip, Edward's time working with Mystique and Dumbledore could qualify as this.
* AdaptationalAttractiveness: [[Franchise/HarryPotter Dumbledore]].
--->“What do you think u punishment should be?” Dubledore asked paseing around he was wearing a black t-shirt and ripped Hollister jeans that showed off his mussles.
* AdaptationDyeJob[=/=]SelfFanservice: Edward no longer has messy auburn hair and an expression filled with [[MemeticMutation chagrin]], but is now an {{Animesque}} pretty boy with bright orange hair and eyes who looks almost nothing like the original character.
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: '''D'''ally '''D'''arkblood.
** Also, '''Ch'''arla can [[{{Animorphism}} turn into]] a '''ch'''eetah.
* AllGaysArePromiscuous: According to our author, not only are they promiscuous, they're also [[AllGaysArePedophiles pedophiles]]. And they have to [[CruelAndUnusualDeath die in horrible ways]] because of [[BuryYourGays that alone]].
* AllMenArePerverts: Every male in the story gets hard if they're within a mile radius of Dally. The few who don't are [[UnfortunateImplications homosexual rapists]].
* AllThereInTheManual[=/=]InformedAbility[=/=]WordOfGod: The biographies describe the powers of Dally's GirlPosse. We rarely see any of them in the actual story.
** Also, Sasuke's apparently 12 while the other characters are around 16 or 17. Yes, '''twelve'''. And Hiei has sex with him at a point. [[SarcasmMode But Dumbledore's a pedophile for lusting after 17-year-olds and Hiei isn't]].
* AnachronismStew: In Franchise/HarryPotter, the wizarding world was shown to be pretty old fashioned. Here, there are chain clothing outlets like American Eagle, cars, and cell phones, among other things.
* {{Animesque}}: The [[OffModel traced]] illustrations.
* {{Animorphism}}: [[OurVampiresAreDifferent Vampires]] can turn into bats and Charla can become a cheetah.
* YouFailBiologyForever[=/=]AnatomicallyImpossibleSex: The entire [[IkeaErotica sex scene]]. They turn their fluids into water, but wouldn't that affect their bodies? How can Dally even have [[UnusualEuphemism love juices]], let alone ''get pregnant'', if she's a vampire? Her boobs wrapped around his wiener like bumblebees?
** Also, this gem from Dally:
--->“YOU CAME IN ME. I TOLD YOU YOU [[CriticalResearchFailure CAN GET PREGNANT EVEN FROM ANAL]].”
** The pregnancy in general. Dally shows signs of it within a couple of days, and has the actual demonspawn not too long after that. Might be [[JustifiedTrope justified]] if you consider it's the baby of a vampire and a demon, so it might mature differently, but [[TheyJustDidntCare that might be giving the author too much credit]].
** Apparently gays are built differently than straight folk according to Dally:
--->“Its gay anal surf,” answored Dally, “if they don’t take garyatric pills then [[{{Squick}} if we put enough water in their ass their intenstines and stomach wil leak out…”]]
*** She does offer a (terrible) explanation:
--->“Oh is that because their [[DudeNotFunny asshoes are all loosened out from the sex??]]” Shadow asked.
* AtomicFBomb: The further you dive into the story, the more frequent the cussing.
** And the more frequent you'll want to.
* AuthorAvatar: Dally.
* BarbieDollAnatomy: [[ComicBook/{{X-Men}} Mystique]].
--->Jut then Mystique came out of the fire she was naked but she didn’t have nipples.
* BastardBoyfriend[=/=]DomesticAbuse: Hiei smacks Dally a few times, and is hinted at being capable of doing far worse:
--->Dally began to get nervous… if hiei was high he was also gonna get violet and if he found Billy she would surely get the smackdown.
** [[WhatAnIdiot And yet she has no problem staying with him and feels guilty if she comes even close to another man.]]
* BearsAreBadNews: It's a [[RougeAnglesofSatin typo]], [[FunnyMoments but still]]...
--->They were greeted by a big wizard with a long white '''bear''' and a pointy hat and he said, “Come students, follow me to the great hall and we will eat and get you sorted!”
* BiTheWay: Professor [[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas Skellington.]]
--->“Well students there is nothing wrong with bean gay,” he said, “I am bisexual myself.”
** Hiei, who is dating Dally, had sex with Sasuke.
* BigNo: Link, when he sees Shadow [[ManOnFire burning to death]].
* BiggerIsBetterInBed: [[Manga/YuYuHakusho Hiei]]. [[NauseaFuel And yes, we get to hear a full description of his "wand," length in inches included.]]
* BodyHorror: In addition to his CruelAndUnusualDeath, Hagrid has [[{{Squick}} multiple penises all over his body]].
** [[FromBadToWorse In later chapters]], this became a OnceAnEpisode occurrence.
** Whenever someone's "face falls", or "jaw drops", their face or jaw is described as ''falling off''. In one chapter, Dally's ''stomach'' is described as falling off (and she's pregnant at the time, to boot).
* BreadEggsMilkSquick: Chapter 15 - Harry and baby Shadow ride on horses, order [=McDonald=]'s, go to see Theatre/{{Wicked}} in Chicago and murder a random innocent Hufflepuff for no good reason.
* BreakTheCutie: [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella]]. She gets [[RapeAsDrama raped]], [[NotIfTheyEnjoyedItRationalization blamed for the whole thing]], and then [[DieForOurShip murdered]]. Keep in mind that Bella actually acts pretty kind from what little we see of her in this story.
* [[BreakingTheFourthWall Breaking The]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "3rd"]] [[BreakingTheFourthWall Wall]]: At one point, Dally literally looks up the story to reread a ripped up note. Clumsily {{Lampshaded}} by the narration.
* BrokenAesop: The story tries to push that there is nothing wrong with being homosexual, but aside from [[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas Jack Skellington]], all of the characters who aren't straight are [[UnfortunateImplications portrayed as villains]], including the only actually canonically gay character in the fic- [[Franchise/HarryPotter Dumbledore]].
** Right after Professor Skellington tells the group it's okay to be gay, we get this bit:
--->Draco is straight and it’s Adam and '''[[YouFailLogicForever Steve]]''' not Adam and '''[[YouFailLogicForever Steve.]]'''
*** When Hiei screws Sasuke, Dally is more ticked about Hiei banging a man then she is that he slept with someone else in the first place.
*** Sasuke is another one of the "good" gays, but even then [[AllGaysArePromiscuous he is a walking stereotype]].
** Another supposed [[AnAesop Aesop]] is that screwing multiple guys, especially one that isn't your true love that you're married to, is wrong, as demonstrated with [[DieForOurShip Bella]]. However, Dally has no problem doing it with Hiei the first day she meets him and is constantly going back and forth between various men.
--->[[{{Wangst}} “Hi-hi-hi-hiei and I are th-th-thorough!” she sobbed, “It t-t-t-urms out hes a f-f-f-faggot just like D-d-d-dumbledooooreeee!!”]]
* ButICantBePregnant: [[AnatomicallyImpossibleSex “YOU CAME IN ME. I TOLD YOU YOU CAN GET PREGNANT EVEN FROM ANAL.”]]
* [[ButWeUsedACondom But We Turned The Semen Into Water]]
* BuxomIsBetter: Dally's boobs just might be bigger than Hogwarts if the art of her is anything to go by. And ''[[ReallyGetsAround everyone]]'' loves it.
* CampGay: [[Franchise/HarryPotter Dumbledore]] and [[Manga/{{Naruto}} Sasuke]].
* TheChosenOne: Shadow Darkblood Yerameshi, the son of Dally.
** Franchise/HarryPotter is the "[[AndTheRest other]] Chosen One."
* ChuckCunninghamSyndrome: Dally's GirlPosse and Draco completely vanish from the story right around the introduction of Lupin and Tonks.
* ClingyJealousGirl: [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella]] is ticked off beyond repair at Edward because she thinks that he's cheating on her for [[MarySue Dally]].
* CoitusEnsues: At the end of Chapter 3.
* CrazyJealousGuy: [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward.]] He "grrs" if any male so much as ''talks'' to Dally, even ones of another species.
* CruelAndUnusualDeath[=/=]FamilyUnfriendlyDeath: Hagrid is killed by [[{{Squick}} numerous wands stabbed through the "sausages" of his body, whatever those are]]. Note that Hagrid is merely given this treatment [[DesignatedVillain because he's Dumbledore's sex buddy]].
* DeadGuyJunior: Baby Shadow.
* DeadFic: Thank God.
** ...Don't go thanking him so much now. See ScheduleSlip below.
* DemBones: [[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas Jack]] [[FandomBerserkButton Skeleton]]... Er, Skellington.
* DirtyOldMan: Dumbledore.
* DistressedDude: Dally's entire harem in Chapter 9 are kindapped and taken to Azkaban.
* DudeNotFunny: The author goes out of the way to be offensive. The groups of people she's offended include but are probably not limited to: homosexuals, Jews, black people, the mentally and physically disabled, women, men, all humans ever, etc. The remarks she makes in being offensive are often attempts at humour, which makes it worse.
* DyingToBeReplaced: Shadow, for Dally's [[PatchworkKids child]]. He's even born the same chapter as Shadow's funeral.
* EnemyMine: Edward and Hiei must put aside their differences and fuse to become "Platinum Billy" to save Hogwarts.
* EnfantTerrible: Baby Shadow.
--->It was chosen one and now it will kiss us all… because when demons and vampires mix it produces a hellspawn that is evillest at its core.
* EverybodyLaughsEnding: In Chapter 13:
--->"[[ADateWithRosiePalms That masturbator!]]” said Link and they all laughed and walked [[RougeAnglesOfSatin adaware]]…
* EveryoneHasLotsOfSex: Or, rather, two people have enough sex to count for everyone laving lots of sex.
--->(since there were no rules they had sex over one thousand times)
** Later on, the sexual references noticeably get more frequent.
* EvilMatriarch: Mystique, starting in Chapter 7.
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: The main characters definitely face some [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs very strange occurrences]].
* ExpressDelivery: Dally gives birth not too long after she discovers her pregnancy, which is not too long after she initially conceived. ''Might'' be justified by the fact that it's the son of a demon and a [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot mutant vampire witch]].
* FaceHeelTurn: Mystique decides to work with Dumbledore for some reason in Chapter 7.
** Edward does as well in Chapter 11 due to being sick of Dally's cockblocking, but then [[HeelFaceTurn switches back later]] without any explanation.
* FantasyContraception: The whole "turning-semen-into-water" shtick.
* FreudianSlip: As is almost always guaranteed in any RougeAnglesOfSatin fic. [[FunnyMoments The most hilarious of these]] occurs at the end of Chapter 2, right before Dumbledore reveals [[RapeasDrama his true nature.]]
--->Edward grred, his sences were tingling… that something was ''not'' wrong.
** Similarly, right in the next chapter:
--->The three of them mated downstairs to Professors Macnoggle’s orifice and demanded an interview.
* ForgottenFallenFriend: Shadow is pretty much brought up only once after his death a chapter or two later, and then never again.
* FusionDance: Edward and Hiei fuse to become... [[Music/GoodCharlotte Billy Martin]].
* GainaxEnding: It initially had NoEnding, but was given one in the very belated twenty-first chapter, which was posted [[ScheduleSlip five years]] after the last one. Among other things, it involves the main characters encountering BarackObama and Creator/JKRowling and, in the final scene, transforming into ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePony'' characters. Of course, by that point, it's only marginally weirder than the rest of the fic.
* GirlPosse: Charla, Annie, and Meagan for Dally. They're all pretty much interchangeable.
* GooGooGodlike: Baby Shadow is TheChosenOne, can talk and move almost immediately, has vampire powers, can read minds and communicate telepathically, creates portkeys out of midair...
* {{Gorn}}: Starting in Chapter 4 [[FromBadToWorse and spiraling downward from there]].
* GroinAttack: Dally ''[[{{Squick}} rips off Snape's dick and throws it out the window.]]''
* [[GrossoutShow Grossout Fic]]
* HaremSeeker: Dally, despite [[UnwantedHarem claims contradicting it]].
* HarmfulToMinors: Dally has no problem dropping {{Atomic F Bomb}}s in front of little Shadow.
* HateFic: Possibly for Franchise/HarryPotter, or at least the main {{Canon}}. Snape is a lustful rapist, Dumbledore is a rapist and pedophile, Lupin and Tonks have no personality beyond having sex, Harry is a prejudicial druggie... The list goes on and on.
* [[ManOnFire Hedgehog On Fire]]
* HeelFaceTurn: Edward after the TimeSkip. It's never explained why.
* HoYay: After ''[[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas Jack]]'' asks Edward to take Snape's place as a teacher:
--->Edward was shocked and '''aroused.'''
** At the end of the same chapter, although this time invoked intentionally:
--->“WHAT THE HELL HIEI” shouted Dally, “Do you like him??”

--->“I don’t think so,” said Hiei, “It was kinda hott though…”
** When Sasuke mentions that Edward and Hiei must come together to save Dally, he compares them to Harry's mother and father. OhCrap!
*** Then there's Sasuke's reaction to the result of the fusion.
--->“Omg…” said Sasuke, “That’s SO wrong… but sooo hot!”
* HufflepuffHouse: The {{Trope Namer}}s themselves. The only time the house is referenced by name is when [[ComedicSociopathy Harry kills a Hufflepuff to show baby Shadow spells]].
* {{Hypocrite}}: Dally calls Bella easy, but Bella has never been shown to screw a man other than Edward willingly (she had no clue that Snape wasn't Edward as she was blinded by a bag) both in ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' and this fic. Dally, however, had no problem having sex with Hiei thousands of times and still considers Edward her property.
** Further driven into the ground when Edward reveals he had sex with Bella before. Dally is ''ticked'' because '''she''' wanted to be Edward's first partner... After she cheated on him for Hiei.
** The main gang sans Dally discovers Hagrid dead with [[BodyHorror "wands coming out of all the sausages of his body"]] and are absolutely disturbed that someone would do such a thing to Hagrid. Moments before, they were plotting to give his sexual partner Dumbledore the slowest and most painful death possible.
* IfICantHaveYou: Edward did NOT take Dally choosing Hiei well. Though, in her defense, he murdered his last girlfriend.
* IkeaErotica: The [[Manga/YuYuHakusho Hiei]] and Dally sex scene.
* InsaneTrollLogic[=/=]YouFailLogicForever: For some reason, being a [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampire]] means that [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] is amazing at potion-making. It MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext.
** This little gem from Shadow's funeral:
--->''[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext They didn’t put him in a koffin because it reminded Edward and Dally to much of bed and theyd get sleepy]]'' so they put him in a boat they took to Hogwarts and have him a Viking wedding.
** And another bit from Chapter 11:
--->She looked in the keyhole and on the wndow and she was gunna check under the carpet… but it reminded he of shadow.
** Basically the entire plot, actually, but how about this one, just prior to the FusionDance?
--->“Its because… remember how Harrys mom and dad saved him through love?” he answered

--->“Well… it’s the same here. We need two people who love Dally the most to savor her… and mix together.”
* InstantBirthJustAddWater: Dally has her son ''immediately'' after her water breaks.
* ItsAllAboutMe: The entire world must revolve around Dally. She can have sex with whoever she pleases, but if one of "her men" does it with another woman before they do it with her (even if they've been dating said woman for a long time), that's [[SarcasmMode just sick, those jerks]].
* JerkAss: [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] in this fic makes the original Edward look exactly like the gentleman Meyer intended him to be.
** Dally becomes this sometime around when [[MoralEventHorizon she encourages Edward to kill the already-tortured Bella so she can have him all to herself]].
* JerkAssHasAPoint: Hiei (who is mainly a JerkAss for only wanting Dally to have mutant powers pretty much) in Chapter 5:
--->“WELL YOU WOULD KNOW,” said Hiei, “YOU FUCKED BELLA… AND HTEN YOU KILLED HER.”
** Edward, after Dally says she can't have sex with Edward due to being with Hiei despite the big stink she put up over Edward supposedly doing Bella:
--->“I thought you said you wanted to… you can’t blue balls me,” he said flatly, “Seriously if you don’t put out youre a bitch just like Bella.”
* KarmaHoudini: [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]], Dally, and [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Link]] murder [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella]] and [[Franchise/HarryPotter Snape]], the former of which was notably innocent. They get off without ''any'' charges.
** In fact, Edward is hired to replace Snape as a teacher after the fiasco.
* KilledOffForReal: [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Shadow]], [[DieForOurShip Bella]], Snape, and Hagrid.
* LargeHam: Everyone, but Mystique whenever she talks to Hiei deserves a special mention.
--->“Yes it is I,” she smocked, “You really think you would get aware that easy?? DYMBLEDORE AND I ARE WOKING TOGETHER NOW!! HAHAHAHA!”
* LifeEmbellished: Dally is a self-insert, and the author uses her to represent herself.
* LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters: A new one is introduced practically each chapter, and the author can't even seem to keep them straight.
* LoveDodecahedron: [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] loves [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella]], but he also wants [[MarySue Dally]]. [[Manga/YuYuHakusho Hiei]] wants Dally, but he also shows interest in [[Manga/{{Naruto}} Sasuke]]. Dally wants Hiei, but also wants Edward and [[TrueBlood Bill]], who wants her as well. [[DracoinLeatherPants Shadow]] wants Dally as well. The rest can be pretty much summed up as, "every male wants Dally."
** Oh, and [[MyGirlIsASlut she wants every man]].
*** And conveniently [[ReallyGetsAround gets with every man]].
* LoveTriangle: Although everyone wants [[MarySue Dally]] to have their babies, [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] and [[Manga/YuYuHakusho Hiei]] are the main two competing with each other.
** Broken up later with [[TrueBlood Bill]].
* MassiveMultiplayerCrossover
* MasterOfTheMixedMessage: Dally wants Hiei, and Edward has Bella! No, Dally deserves Edward, and Bella [[DieForOurShip needs to die]]! Wait, no- Edward is clingy, Hiei should be for Dally! Hold it- Hiei impregnated Dally, so he's a jerk and she should be Edward's. [[OverlyLongGag But wait]]- Edward did it with Bella before Dally, so he's a horrible person and Hiei is Dally's one and only! But no- Edward didn't have sex with Bella after all, so he and Dally are together. Nope- Dally is with Hiei since she is having his baby, so Edward shouldn't do it with her!
* MeetCute: Attempted and pulled off clumsily. Dally first spots [[YuYuHakusho Hiei]] selling candy on the Hogwarts Express. He goes to sell some for her, but is [[RelationshipSue instantly infatuated]] and gives the candy to her for free.
* MegaCrossover: ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'', ''Franchise/HarryPotter'', ''Manga/YuYuHakusho'', ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog'', ''ComicBook/{{X-Men}}'', ''WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas'', ''Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda'', ''Manga/{{Naruto}}''... And that's just the first few chapters.
* MindScrew: The entire story. '''ALL OF IT.'''
* MomentKiller: In Chapter 2, [[ComicBook/{{X-Men}} Mystique]] offers [[Manga/YuYuHakusho Hiei]] mutant powers if he marries [[MarySue Dally]]. Dally, who was so certain that Hiei was hers before, now thinks that she might want [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] instead despite the fact that she had never shown interest beyond friendship in him before and that he's already dating Bella.
* MorningSickness: Dally, of course.
* MyGirlIsASlut: Dally, [[{{Hypocrite}} even though she believes Bella is one]].
** Finally admitted in Chapter 18:
--->“you must think long and hard… [[CompensatingForSomething like my dick]]” said Edward then laughed then stopped cause it wasn’t funny because '''actually dally probably [[UnusualEuphemism effed]] everyone and was loose as a bag.'''
* NWordPrivileges: Harry on drugs, apparently. Combined with PrecisionFStrike.
---> “Nigga FUCK no,” said Harry
* NeverMyFault: Dally. Edward thinks she's cheating on him for Hiei? Hiei is a jerk! Dally encourages Edward to murder Bella? She deserved it! Dally gets pregnant? It's all Hiei's fault!
* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: [[MarySue Dally]] is a witch, a [[ComicBook/{{X-Men}} mutant]], and a vampire. [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Shadow]] is a hedgehog and a wizard. [[GodModeSue And let's not get started on Hiei's and Dally's son.]]
* NoIndoorVoice: [[SchmuckBait If you took a shot every time something was typed in ALL CAPS, you'd be hung over within a chapter.]] Here are some examples from Chapter 1 ''alone'':
--->YES COME IN” yelled Edward, he wanted a distraction.
--->“THANK YOU!” said Dally.
--->“I SAID ENOUGH GOD DAMMIT” shouted the Proffessor
* NotIfTheyEnjoyedItRationalization: Snape raping Bella, and Bella thinking it was Edward banging her. [[DisproportionateRetribution Apparently, this makes her deserve to be killed]].
* OffModel: Each page has an illustration or two to go with it. Most of these pictures are either screenshots from an actual show or movie, stock art (such as a bizarre one of a random guy in a body bag in one of the last chapters), or blatantly traced art of Dally and her crew or her baby. Much of this art varies wildly in style, but most notable is [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]], who has both an orange-haired {{Animesque}} traced illustration and images from the actual LIVE ACTION Twilight movies.
** It doesn't help that the character biographies have both official art or photographs of the characters and the traced art, further highlighting the tackiness.
* OnTheNext: At the end of Chapter 20- hilariously enough, [[DeadFic the final chapter.]]
** [[SubvertedTrope Not anymore.]] See ScheduleSlip below.
* [[OneSteveLimit One Shadow Limit]]: Averted, which makes it confusing when reading about this trainwreck of a story, especially since the author mixes up names all the time.
** Also, [[Music/GoodCharlotte Billy]] and [[TrueBlood Bill]].
* OurWerewolvesAreDifferent: [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny They apparently have a short memory span.]]
* OurVampiresAreDifferent: They don't [[BishieSparkle sparkle]], have fangs, and at one point Edward even [[{{Animorphism}} turns into a bat]]. As terrible as the fic is, she still somehow gets vampires more close to the traditional portrayal than Literature/{{Twilight}}.
* ParentalNeglect: Dally has no problem letting her baby gnaw on rattlesnakes and leaving him home alone for long periods of time. She acts ''[[WhatAnIdiot shocked]]'' when she comes how to find him gone. {{Lampshaded}} in this line:
--->“I think we should go home and check on my baby now. I know he can take care of himself but I think Prof Maconagle will call Child Protection Servises on my asshole.”
* PatchworkKids: UpToEleven and SerialEscalation [[GodModeSue Shadow Darkblood Yerameshi]] has red and black hair streaks and vampire powers like Dally, but also white hair streaks and deep red eyes like Hiei.
** His half-sister Shadette [[SarcasmMode (even the name oozes with originality)]] shares traits with Dally and [[TrueBlood Bill Compton]].
* PowerGivesYouWings: Annie, but [[InformedAbility we never see her in action]].
* PowerPerversionPotential: Using magic to turn semen into water counts. As does Dally's brilliant idea to use her powers to turn things into "kinky sexy toys".
* PrecisionFStrike: This [[SarcasmMode gem]] from Chapter 2:
--->“oh my fucking christ” she said, “I can turn into whatever I want with mustiques powers!”
** An even {{Narm}}ier example from the same chapter:
--->“HAHAHA” laughed mystique “YOU WILL NEVER FUCKIN GET TE POWEERS”
* PregnantBadass: Attempted and failed with Dally. She's portrayed as selfless for staying behind to give birth all by herself while the men she loves so much march into battle, but really she just comes off as selfish and whiny as usual, especially since this is right after she snaps at Edward for trying to bang her [[MasterOfTheMixedMessage despite her saying he needed to]] and Hiei for sleeping with Sasuke.
* RagingStiffie: [[Manga/YuYuHakusho Hiei]] in the [[ThisIsGonnaSuck lead up to the sex scene]]:
--->“Hiei is that your wand?” she asked.

--->“No… that is my penis, Dally…” he said.
** As the story "unfolds," this becomes a common occurrence among pretty much everyone in the story with a dick.
* RandomEventsPlot: The only common threads in the plot are Dally's pregnancy and taking down [[Franchise/HarryPotter Dumbledore]]. Throughout this time, the rest of the plot is all over the place. [[FromBadToWorse After baby Shadow is born, the author throws everything to the wall and hopes it sticks.]]
* RedEyesTakeWarning: Dally, [[Manga/YuYuHakusho Hiei]], and [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Shadow]] all have red eyes.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: UpToEleven! The last few chapters are practically illegible.
* RunningGag: Throughout the fic, various words are "misspelled" (clearly deliberately) as the names of various Anime/{{Pokemon}}.
* SatelliteLoveInterest: All of them. This quote from Chapter 1 summarizes it perfectly:
--->“So do you like that guy?” Edward asked.
--->“Of course, he gave me free food! He is very nice” Dally said happy.
* ScarfOfAsskicking: The students of [[Franchise/HarryPotter Hogwarts]], not that they actually get any action in this fic.
* ScheduleSlip: In October 2010, she posted a new chapter and claimed she was making a comeback. She didn't post another chapter until January 2014.
* SelfInsertFic: The author's name is Dallas ''Dally'' Philpott. The main character's name is ''Dally''.
* ShapeShifter: Mystique and -- [[MarySue of course]] -- Dally.
* {{Shotacon}} : Sasuke's twelve [[AllThereInTheManual in the character guide]]. Considering that he's a walking embodiment of AllGaysArePromiscuous, you'd never guess just by reading the fic.
* SixthRanger: The main characters literally state that they are going to convince Sasuke to join their group for this reason.
* StalkerWithACrush: Edward, who is seen in two chapters spying on Dally when she kisses and later has sex with Hiei.
* SurpriseCreepy: If you only read the first chapter and glance over the illustrations, it looks like a typical TastesLikeDiabetes wish-fulfillment MarySue story. [[FromBadToWorse Then]], [[{{Gorn}} you continue through the story...]]
* TakeThat: From Chapter 5 (keep in mind they're trying to find [[BigBad Dumbledore]]):
--->First they checked American Engle, then they checked Wet Seal, then they checked Tifanny and Co-op, but they finally found him in the queerest of all stores… Holster.
** In Chapter 14, there is a completely random DudeNotFunny bit where Dallas insults a Website/DeviantArt user by having her on television competing in the Special Olympics and describing her as ugly and "retarded."
*** Another Website/DeviantArt user is insulted at the end of the {{Maury}} subplot, where said user appears in the crowd of people wanting to [[AccidentalInnuendo "bang"]] Dally.
**** Let's face it, [[TookALevelInJerkass the sex/rape scenes of chapters 4 and 13 are only there so that Dally can piss on the]] [[ShipSinking fandom of SnapeXLily, BellaXEdward, and LupinXTonks.]]
* TalkShow: When Dally gets pregnant ''again'', she appears on {{Maury}}. [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs Yes.]]
* TeenPregnancy: Dally, ''[[MyGirlIsASlut twice]]''.
* ThatMakesMeFeelAngry: From the first chapter:
--->He thought she was very cute.
** We'd be hear all day if we listed all of the instances of this in reference to Hiei's and Dally's feelings for each other.
* ThirdOptionLoveInterest: [[TrueBlood Bill]].
* ThisIsGonnaSuck: Right in the first sentence, [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Edward" is written as "Edwart."]] Heck, the [[SarcasmMode clever]] capitalization of the title should be enough of a warning to [[SchmuckBait turn back while you still can]].
** OhCrap ensues in Chapter 3 near the end once the reader realizes that [[IkeaErotica a sex scene is nearing]].
* TimeSkip: After capturing Dumbledore.
* TooDumbToLive: Franchise/HarryPotter tells Professor [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Macnoggle]] about an attempted [[RapeasDrama rape]] on him. Two instances of TooDumbToLive ensue:
** Harry never specifies ''who'' did the violating.
** He does mention that the rapist was a male... So ''Umbridge'' ends up fired. [[FlatWhat What.]]
** At one point, Dally sees her baby ''chewing on rattlesnakes''. Granted, he's a GooGooGodlike GodModeSue, but what sane mother would let their child do that?
* TookALevelInJerkass: Dally in Chapter 7. Up until then, she was a PuritySue who could do no wrong, but at least lived up to that title. At that point, she began to get protective of '''all''' her potential men, which ends up costing innocent Bella her life.
* TransformationTrauma: At the end of Chapter 19, Dally and Hiei experience this turning into vampires. [[TheyJustDidntCare But, wasn't Dally already a vampire?]]
* TrollFic: Considering how it quickly devolves into strangeness (most notably the Hiei and Edward FusionDance) and the RougeAnglesOfSatin count grows each chapter, it is very possible that it is indeed a troll. However, there are pictures on the site of the author, so it's up in the air and will likely never be resolved unless Dallas comes out and admits it either way.
** Even if it is a TrollFic, it's literally painful to read.
** [[http://dally.omgforum.net/t507-the-grand-finale It is, indeed, a]] TrollFic. The author intentionally wrote it to be the worst FanFic ever made.
*** And then Dally apparently decided to take a page from [[JoBekkeAtHugwrts Jo Bel]] and deleted her admission of being a troll, so who knows?
* UnExplainedRecovery: Dumbledore ''explodes'' when Dally headbutts him into his phoenix. He shows up at Hollister completely unharmed a few chapters later.
* UnluckyChildhoodFriend: According to the biographies, [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] has been friends with [[MarySue Dally]] since preschool.
* UnusualEuphemism: At one point, Dally starts using "effed" to mean having sex.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight[=/=]WhatMeasureIsANonHuman: Apparently, Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog [[TalkingAnimal characters]] going to [[Franchise/HarryPotter Hogwarts]] is not out of the ordinary.
* UnwantedHarem: Subverted. Dally claims she doesn't want all these guys fawning over her, but she clearly does.
* WalkingShirtlessScene: Sasuke in Chapter 7 is barged in on half-naked. Of course, it's never specified which half is covered, and [[FreudWasRight considering that this fic hasn't steered clear of genitalia descriptions before]]...
* WhatTheHellHero: If you're really still rooting for Dally after she [[GroinAttack rips off Snape's "wiener"]] and [[DieForOurShip roots for Edward to slaughter innocent Bella]], you need help.
* WorldOfHam
* XMeetsY: ''FanFic/BrewdeningLove'' meets Fanfic/MyImmortal... [[ThisIsYourPremiseOnDrugs on drugs]].
* {{Yandere}}: Post-FaceHeelTurn Edward.
** Considering he kills Bella for [[NotIfTheyEnjoyedItRationalization being raped by Snape]] and stalks Dally, you could make a case for Pre-FaceHeelTurn Edward, too.

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