[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/da6f969fb664ee275d1af13bcf25f31d.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:[[Music/ShaniaTwain Man,]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0tAq-MhxNo&index=1&list=PL4gt81gOBFeWcTQOHa1RARrxwiGUSxsge I feel like a woman...]]]]
''Becoming Female'' is a ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' fanfic by [[StrawFeminist Venus God]]. Think ''Fanfic/MyImmortal'' with "[[StrawMisogynist sexists]]" in place of "preps".

After Snape makes him drink a potion, Harry falls unconscious. He wakes up in the infirmary to discover that the potion turned him into the perfect female form. He, er, she, suddenly has the hots for [[DracoInLeatherPants Draco Malfoy]] but faces antagonism from [[RonTheDeathEater Ron]], who is sexist.

The story pretty much revolves around Crystal's (Harry's female name) attempt to marry Draco, while Ron ([[RunningGag who is sexist]]) attempts to seduce (and later rape) Crystal. Also, Gilderoy Lockhart inexplicably reappears. After losing control of Malfoy Manor to Lucius (who is also sexist), Draco organises a talent contest to raise money for the wedding. Meanwhile, Ron returns from New York, having changed his name to Ron Raper (did I mention his sexism?). Ultimately, Crystal and Draco get married and Ron Raper is eaten by the giant squid.

It can be found [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5822132/1/Becoming_Female here]]. It was followed by a sequel called ''Fanfic/BeingFemale''.
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!!''Becoming Female'' contains examples of:

* AdaptationalHeroism:
** [[KnowNothingKnowItAll Gilderoy Lockhart]] is made into a dashing hero rather than the overly boastful DirtyCoward he is in canon. Apparently the author was under the impression Creator/RobertPattinson played him.
** Being the sole female Death Eater to appear, Bellatrix gets this treatment, making a HeelFaceTurn and helping the heroes out because she's disgusted by her male co-workers.
* AdaptationalVillainy: Suffice to say, Ron was never this evil or sexist in canon.
* AdaptationalWimp: Voldemort gets defeated and locked up in Azkaban offscreen.
* AdultsAreUseless: During the talent contest, Pansy pays somebody to have sex with her on stage. Nobody stops her.
* AllMenArePerverts: Ron claims this is true and the only reason Crystal never noticed before was because she used to be male.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Gilderoy Lockhart (who'd previously gotten a huge dose of AdaptationalHeroism) is posthumously said to be stupid, sexist, and to [[Creator/KennethBranagh not even look like Robert Pattinson]].
* AuthorAvatar: Hermione, Crystal and Ginny.
* AuthorTract: On the surface, the fic is a tract against sexism and occasionally homophobia. Some who think this is a troll fic argue that it's actually a disguised anti-feminist tract. Judge for yourself.
* BackFromTheDead: In Chapter 6, Sirius inexplicably returns from his canonical death in ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix''.
* BaitAndSwitch: Ginny calls everyone out for celebrating Ron's disappearance, because she's his sister and, thus, [[CainAndAbel should be celebrating the most now that he's gone]].
* BankruptcyBarrel: Narcissa turns up at Hogwarts wearing a barrel, after Lucius kicks her out of the house. Crystal thinks this is bad because "[[SkewedPriorities the barrel made her look fat and totally clashed with her skin tone]]."
* BeautyEqualsGoodness: Gilderoy Lockhart goes from a SmallNameBigEgo DirtyCoward to a dashing hero because he was [[Creator/KennethBranagh allegedly]] played by Creator/RobertPattinson. After the author realized this was not so, Lockhart was posthumously described as evil and sexist.
* BigBad: Ron Raper. Voldemort [[DemotedToExtra only gets a couple mentions and doesn't show up at all]].
* BigNo: Crystal gives off a few of these when she feels things are getting bad.
* TheBodyPartsThatMustNotBeNamed: After Dumbledore becomes a nudist, he goes around with only his long beard covering his private parts. Most every time this is brought up, the story uses some [[UnusualEuphemism silly euphemism to refer to his penis, such as "private wahoo", "joystick", "ding-dong", and "inappropriate wand"]]. Oddly, the word "penis" actually ''is'' used one time. Also, Crystal refers to her vagina as her "pleasure hole".
* BrainBleach: [=McGonagall=] in a thong. And Dumbledore doing a striptease.
* BusCrash: In the second chapter, it’s mentioned that Professor Sprout died in a bungee jumping accident, hence why Lockhart is replacing her.
* CampGay: Dumbledore, to the point that his gayness is the source of his powers.
%%* CainAndAbel: Ron and Ginny, respectively.
* CardCarryingVillain: Ron Raper.
--> "I'm a sexist man with a sexist man's needs and you've got exactly what I need -- a woman to rape for no reason!"
* {{Chickification}}: Happens to all the female characters, including [[SternTeacher Minerva McGonagall]], [[DracoInLeatherPants Bellatrix Lestrange]] and [[GenderBender Harry/Crystal Potter]].
* CompositeCharacter: The author seems to have confused the characters of Gilderoy Lockhart and Cedric Diggory. How ''that'' happened is anyone's guess. After Lockhart was revealed to be a bad guy ([[BeautyEqualsGoodness and to not look like]] Creator/RobertPattinson), the author confused Cedric with [[HuskyRusskie Viktor Krum]].
* CountryMatters: Used at one point by Ron, which makes sense, given the story's [[RonTheDeathEater portrayal]] [[StrawMisogynist of him]].
* CorruptCorporateExecutive / EvilInc: Ron Raper founded the "Sexist Cooper Advertising".
* CrapsackWorld: In this fic's world, everyone is either a sexist, a slut or a feminist, and all of them are awful people.
* CreatorsCultureCarryover: There are quite a lot of references to American culture, especially for a story that takes place in a castle in Scotland. The most egregious is at the talent show, where the buzzers are compared to those on ''Series/AmericasGotTalent'', rather than the ones on its TransatlanticEquivalent, ''Series/BritainsGotTalent''.
* CureYourGays: The degayification camp. The inhabitants are supposed to "learn how to be ungay" by jeering and wolf-whistling Pansy in a cheerleader's outfit.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment:
** Did you know that Ron Raper is sexist?
** Chapter 29 contains the lovely quote, "We've been thinking of having a Valentine's Day Ball on Valentine's Day for Valentine's Day."
** "My black hair was long and silky like silk."
* DiabolusExMachina: Bagman sells first the talent contest, then Hogwarts itself, to Ron Raper. He is not evil nor sexist; he does it because he is "retarded".
* DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch: Near the end of the story, we’re introduced to a Hogwarts student named Fanny. In Britain, Fanny is considered [[CountryMatters a much more offensive word]] than in America, so using it as a name is unheard of over there.
* DontLikeDontRead: Pretty much the entirety of Chapter 35 is dedicated to complaining against negative reviews, complaining that the negative reviews hurt her feelings.
%%* TheDragon: Lucius Malfoy stops being Voldemort's and becomes Ron Raper's.
* DroppedABridgeOnHim:
** Professor Sprout dies offscreen in a bungee jumping accident, leading to Lockhart taking over her class.
** Lockhart himself suffers this once the author figures out that Creator/RobertPattinson wasn't his actor.
* FaceHeelTurn: Gilderoy, when the author discovers he wasn't played by Creator/RobertPattinson. [[DroppedABridgeOnHim He dies immediately after.]]
* FullNameBasis: Ron Raper is always referred to as such once he takes up that new surname.
%%* GenderBender: Harry --> Crystal
* GilliganCut: In the first chapter, Dumbledore assures the just transformed Harry that he’ll provide “a watertight story that no one will see through”. Cut to the next morning, where he gives a very poor cover story, with a fair bit of SuspiciouslySpecificDenial, including a lampshade being hung on how an entire class witnessed what actually happened.
%%* GodivaHair: [[NakedPeopleAreFunny Dumbledore]] is given the beard version of this.
* GoGoEnslavement: After [[RunningGag that sexist idiot]] Ron takes over the school, all the girls are forced to wear bikinis and [[StayInTheKitchen work in the kitchen]].
* GoodCostumeSwitch: Bellatrix starts dressing in white after changing sides.
* HappinessInSlavery: Parvati seems to like the GoGoEnslavement.
* HeelFaceTurn: Bellatrix joins the good side because Ron Raper is sexist.
%%* IKEAErotica: Draco and Crystal.
* ImpossibleHourglassFigure: Actually lampshaded; Crystal wonders why she has a skinny body and huge breasts. Hermione theorizes that it's because the potion turned her into "the ideal female form".
* InterruptedIntimacy: Happens twice to Draco and Crystal, with Blaise Zabini interrupting them the first time and Umbridge the second time. On their third attempt, they finally manage to have sex, and [[LawOfInverseFertility Crystal gets pregnant]].
* JumpingTheGenderBarrier: "Draco Malfoy smirked at me. He was the hottest guy in school and all the girls wanted him, [[{{Foreshadowing}} but I was a boy and not gay so we couldn't be together]]."
* JustDesserts: Ron Raper gets eaten by the giant squid.
* KiddieKid: Fanny, who is supposed to be a Hogwarts first year. That would make her eleven or twelve, but she's written like a stereotypical four-year-old.
* LyingFingerCross: Lucius uses this as a loophole to break a PinkySwear.
* {{Machinima}}: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0tAq-MhxNo&index=1&list=PL4gt81gOBFeWcTQOHa1RARrxwiGUSxsge One made in]] ''Videogame/TheSims2''.
* MadonnaWhoreComplex: You're a feminist or a slut. No middle ground whatsoever.
* MenActWomenAre: For its supposed feminist leanings, it's still the men whose actions are the primary movers and shakers. Crystal in particular becomes far less proactive than she was as Harry, being primarily concerned with romancing Draco and denouncing everything as sexist.
* {{MST}}: [[https://web.archive.org/web/20160321132224/http://www.whygodwhy.org/t3236-becoming-female Here]] and also [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170824185341/https://fictionhunt.com/read/10271875/1 here]].
%%* NakedPeopleAreFunny: Dumbledore.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: RonTheDeathEater renamed himself "Ron ''Raper''" because he is sexist.
* NoMeansYes: Actually stated by Ron when he tries to rape Crystal.
* OffscreenMomentOfAwesome: Gilderoy convinced Bellatrix to free him, and the two somehow managed to defeat Voldemort while the rest of the cast was holding a talent show.
* OldTimeyBathingSuit: Dumbledore wears one when he enters the hospital wing in the first chapter.
* PinkySwear: Lucius breaks one he made to Umbridge.
* RousingSpeech: Hermione gives one about how rape is wrong, so rousing that she wins the talent contest.
* RunningGag:
** Ron being called sexist. It happens 93 times in the story.
** Also, nudist Dumbledore's beard covering his "[[UnusualEuphemism wand]]".
* SelfMadeOrphan: Draco ends up killing Lucius.
* ShoutOut: Used many times, to ''FanFic/MyImmortal'', ''Series/MadMen'', and ''WebVideo/PotterPuppetPals''.
%%* StrawFeminist: The author's persona.
* StrawmanPolitical: The "sexists". If read as an anti-feminist TrollFic, the heroes are these too.
%%* {{Streaking}}: Dumbledore.
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial:
** Crystal introducing herself as "not Harry Potter".
** Lockhart discusses how eating a Beauty Flower will make one irresistible to the opposite sex...not that's he's eaten any, of course.
** Dumbledore’s cover story for Harry disappearing and Crystal taking his place includes assurance that Harry has not been transformed into a girl, in spite of an ''entire class'' seeing exactly that as it happened.
* TakeThat: Ron Raper and Sexist Cooper Advertising seem to be [[TakeThat Take Thats]] against, of all things, ''Series/MadMen''.
* TextualCelebrityResemblance: Crystal Potter looks like Creator/MegRyan, and in a strange example Hermione looks like the late feminist leader Betty Freidan.
* TonightSomeoneDies (And It Might Be Crystal): But it's Lucius.
%%* TrollFic: Maybe. The odds are pretty high.
%%* TyrantTakesTheHelm: Umbridge, then Ron Raper.
* UnexplainedRecovery: Sirius turns out to be alive after his apparent death... because.
* UnsettlingGenderReveal: Crystal Potter is Harry Potter!
%%* UnusualEuphemism: Pleasure hole. Eurgh.
* ViewersAreGoldfish: At least every second sentence reminds us that [[StrawMisogynist sexist Ron Raper and his sexist consorts are sexist]].
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