Because obviously [[JustForFun/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife we have nothing better to do.]]
[[SchmuckBait We considered adding 'every time there is a punctuation error' to the list, but that would be suicide.]]

[[{{DrinkingGame}} Without further ado...]]
* Take a shot every time you have to reread an entire sentence or paragraph because of the PurpleProse.
** Two more if you still don't get it.
* Take a shot every time Grignr (or anyone) calls a man a 'slut'.
* Take a shot every time a woman is referred to as a 'wench' or 'female'.
* Take a shot every time the word 'stygian' is used in any form.
* Take a shot every time two contradictory descriptions are used together.
* Take a shot every time the author [[CostumePorn spends a paragraph discussing clothing.]]
* Taketh a shot when e'er someone uses YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe
* Take a shot every time Carthena's breasts are mentioned.
* Take a shot every time someone [[{{Fainting}} faints]] or loses consciousness. Two for the [[DeusExMachina epileptic priest.]]
* [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness Partake of a measured portion of heady baccan fluid ]] every time eyes or blood are described as [[PurpleProse 'emerald-green orbs' or 'life fluid' or something similar.]]
* Take a shot every time the plot halts to allow Grignr or the narrator to go off on a tangent involving wenches.
* Take a shot every time an adjective is used as an adverb.
* Down a bloody mary every time there is an entire paragraph of {{Gorn}}.
* Drink another Bloody Mary every time a synonym of "red" is used.
* Drink every time the blatant AuthorAppeal becomes too much.
* Take a shot every time the author [[{{Malaproper}} misuses]] [[AuthorVocabularyCalendar a]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin word.]]
** Another if it makes it unintentionally hilarious.
* Take a shot every time the laws of anatomy seem to have been [[ArtisticLicenceAnatomy rewritten]] by Creator/RobLiefeld.
* Take a shot every time the narration points out that a villainous character is fat.
* [[AuthorTract Take two every time the author starts using the characters as a mouthpiece for his opinions.]]
* Check sanity and I.Q. levels if ever it starts to make sense.

Empty the bottle if you are still conscious by the end.

See also the [[{{DrinkingGame/MyImmortal}} My Immortal Drinking Game]], for those with masochistic tendencies.

Survivors And Near Survivors go in the discussion portion