How do you make an extremely difficult game even more difficult? By getting increasingly intoxicated while trying to beat it! Be careful not to die in real life.
* Take a ''lick'' every time you die.
** Take another if it was caused by a trap.
* Down a six pack when you beat the game.
** Call an ambulance in advance if you [[spoiler:[[KaizoTrap get killed]] [[PressXToNotDie during the ending]]]]. You know what to do afterwards.
* Take a drink when you notice a reference.
* Take a drink everytime a spike shoots upward or downward. Take another if it happens more than once in the same room. Take another if the spike shoots off in a different direction than what it's pointing at.
** You'll be dead by the end of the first area at that rate.
* Take a drink every time a Delicious Fruit falls up.
* Take a drink every time [[NonStandardGameOver a different game over tune plays]].
* Take a drink every time you enter a boss arena.
** Take another if it begins with the Kid initiating dialogue with the boss.
** Down the whole bottle and throw it at the nearest person to [[DrowningMySorrows kill all possible embarrassment]] if you die from Dracula's [[ImprovisedWeapon Wine]] [[KilledMidSentence Glass]] [[ThatOneAttack Death]] [[PressXToNotDie Toss]] attack. Holy crap that comes out of nowhere.
* Take a drink when [[spoiler:the [[FissionMailed fake]] [[InterfaceSpoiler error message]] appears.]]
** Take an additional one if [[spoiler:it doesn't fool you because you're using a different OS, or XP but with a different language or theme.]]
*** Drain the glass in shame if, despite the previous condition, it still manages to kill you.
* Drink all liquids in your house if you complete game on [[FinalDeathMode Impossible]]