* Take a chug of Guinness every time Ed says "Gravy" or "Buttered Toast".
** Or whenever Eddy says the words "Scam" or "Cash".
* Any time that Eddy calls Ed "monobrow".
** Any time that Eddy calls Ed the name of a character from a play, a writer, or an artist.
* Take three chugs any time someone in the show says "jawbreakers"
** Four if you see them ''with'' a jawbreaker.
** Finish your drink if the Eds ''actually '''eat''''' jawbreakers.
* Every time Kevin says "Dorks," take a sip and say goodbye to brain cells.
* Any time Jimmy gets brutally injured, take two swigs.
* Drink half a can for every [[ExtremeOmnivore omnivorous item]] Ed eats.
** Drink the whole can for every time Ed is used as an item.
* If you ever see dollar signs in Eddy's eyes, drink.
* Take a shot each time Double D repeats a word three times in a row. Filthy, filthy, filthy. Plastered, plastered, plastered.
** Take two for every time he says "Oh, dear".
** Also, whenever Ed repeats a word or phrase three times in a row. Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole. Eggs, eggs, eggs.
* Drink every time Rolf says a strange proverb.
** Drink continuously when Rolf talks about something related to his homeland/his family.
** And again for every culture shock he has.
** And again every time he calls them "Ed boys".
** [[RuleOfThree And]] ''[[RuleOfThree again]]'' every he [[ThirdPersonPerson says his own name]].
* Drink every time Plank "says" something.
** Add a shot whenever Jonny says "I don't get it either, Plank."
* Take a large drink whenever Sarah exhibits HighPressureEmotion.
** Take another if she threatens Ed that she will "tell Mom", or some variation.
* Take a drink whenever Nazz giggles.
** Or whenever she says "dude" or "totally"
* Whenever the Kankers kiss the Eds, drink.
** If the Kankers ''don't'' kiss the Eds, take a chug.
** If the Kankers don't even see or speak to the Eds, down a bottle.
* Any time any of the characters [[BreakingtheFourthWall break the fourth wall]], drink.
* Take a few swigs whenever Sarah and Jimmy are more successful than the Eds without even having to plan a scam.
* Every time the Eds are already scamming the other kids at the beginning of the episode.
* Take a shot every time damage that is probably worth millions of dollars and could take months to fix has been repaired by the next scene or episode.
* Take a shot for every [[GuiltByAssociationGag "Guilt by Association" gag]]. Two if Edd ''isn't'' the victim.
* Take a shot whenever Edd says something scientific. 2 if you ''understand'' it. And take 3 shots whenever he makes a outlandish contraption, and take another shot if it's made out of garbage. If you choose to follow this rule, then may God have mercy on your soul.
* One sip for every [[HoYay "gay moment"]] you see. Have an ambulance on standby.
* Have a sip every time someone says the word "Up" in "They Call Him Mr. Ed". [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpJRZqY1nCI Have an ambulance by your side]] [[labelnote:because]]this is '''71 sips''' we're talking about here[[/labelnote]].
** Take two sips/a shot every time someone says "Down" in the same episode. (Have an ambulance on standby for the latter option! If doing this with the "up" one, switch this one to a sip or [[HoistByHisOwnPetard suffer the consequences]].)
* Take a drink for every time "bro" or "brother" is mentioned in "An Ed Is Born."