* While browsing headlines, take a sip each time a common headline phrase is used:
** Baffling
** Bullshit/BS
** Hilarious(ly)
** Horrifying(ly)
** Insane
** Mind-Blowing
** Mind-Boggling
** Nobody Tells You
** Ridiculous(ly)
** Terrifying(ly)
** Things You/I Learn(ed)
** You Didn't Notice
** You Probably Believe
** You Won't Believe
* Take a sip every time a writer expresses their hate/fear/disgust of:
** Clowns
** Lampreys
** Pants
** Snakes
** Spiders
** Taco Bell
** Thomas Edison
** Australia
* Take a drink if the words "Classic" and "Rip-Off" are used in the same sentence.
* Take a drink every time Felix Clay and Gladstone insult one another in their articles.
* Take a drink when an article's title is changed after being published, and you can see the original one in the adress bar.
** Take another shot if the new title is click-baitey, putting focus on something unnecessary but obviously meant to shock.
* Take a drink if the winner of a photoplasty contest is used as the thumbnail.
* Take a drink when the thumbnail of a photoplasty contest uses a very misleading image that is only slightly related to one of the entries (such as a Disney movie).
* Take a drink whenever a fact-based Photoplasty contest repeats something that has already been featured in a Top list article.
** Take another shot if that list article dates to less than a week.
* Take a shot every time an Auntie-Meme-made list is introduced as made by "Cracked readers".
* Take a shot every time an article about a very controversial subject is credited to "Cracked staff".
* Take a shot every time Adam Tod Brown links to his "Unpopular Opinion" podcast.
** Take a shot every time Adam Tod Brown writes an article about things that he thinks are overrated or underrated.
* Take a shot every time a Cracked writer plugs a book they wrote in the article itself.
* Take a drink if the same picture is used several times in the article.
* Take a drink every time there is a link to a Website/YouTube video, and the video has been deleted.
** Down the whole cup if the video has been deleted ''the same day'' the article has been put up.
* Take a drink every time cocaine is associated with Hollywood.
* Take a drink every time an article negatively calls a movie a "rip-off" of another story.
* Take a drink every time the article or a caption refers to someone named Chad. Two drinks if the article isn't by John Cheese.
* Take a drink if Theodore Rosevelt or Nikola Tesla is brought up as an example of an awesome badass.
* Take a drink when an article/photoplasty bashes a Disney movie for being unrealistic about portraying a romantic relationship.
** Take another shot if it's accusing ''Beauty & the Beast'' of using Stockholm Syndrome as its main plot device.
* Take a drink whenever a writer uses the term "conceit" in place of the more common "concept."
* Take a drink whenever Winston Rowtree makes an article with pictures crammed with words.
* Take a drink every time J.F. Sargent says something is racist.
* Take a drink every time J.F. Sargent says something is sexist.
* Take a drink every time J.F. Sargent says something is "Secretly X". Take another if X = Racist/sexist.
* If you're absolutely 100% sure you've got an incredibly high tolerance of alcohol, take a drink every time a dick joke is made.
* Take a drink every time an article is sexist/racist when trying to point out "sexism/racism". Down the whole cup if people then try to defend the article's sexism/racism. Not for light drinkers.
* Take a drink whenever an article derides conservatives.
** Take a drink whenver David Wong does this, and then attacks liberals. Take another if the comments assume he is a liberal.
* Take a drink every time an author describes a grim/corrupt/weird situation and gives the reasonable/logical/uplifting conclusion....only to say "Just kidding! The irrational/illogical/downbeat conclusion is what really happened!".
** Take a second drink if this applies to an serious article about a real-world injustice/tragedy.
* Take a drink when you look at an older article (usually before the 2010s) and the author makes a joke and remark that would be considered problematic/offensive by the site's [[ValuesDissonance modern views]].
* Take a drink if they made a good choice (at least in your opinion) for the #1 entry in an article, that is, you think it's the best example on the list. Take a drink too if they made a bad choice (at least in your opinion) for whatever appeared at the bottom of the list, that is, you think it should have been #1.