[[caption-width-right:350:[[AwesomenessIsVolatile How humanity survived, we will never know.]][[note]]On the RIGHT is Seanbaby. On the left is Creator/MrT.[[/note]]]]

->''"I'm not here to speculate why ''California Raisins: the Grape Escape'' was never released. I'm here to give you the investigative reporting you've come to expect from articles like 'Panda Bears Fucking' and 'Suck This, UNICEF.'"''

What happens when you [[XMeetsY mix a fratboy with a nerd]].

Sean Riley, better known as Seanbaby, is a CausticCritic who writes for Website/{{Cracked}}.com and still works for ''Electronic Gaming Monthly''. He is famous for his Web site, [[http://www.seanbaby.com/index.php seanbaby.com]], mostly for his old video game reviews, making fun of the old ''SuperFriends'' cartoon series, his collection of the [[DeliciousFruitPies Hostess Cupcake/Twinkies ad comics]] and [=MST=]ing all of it. He was also a writer on ''The Adventures Of Chico And Guapo'' and wrote the dialogue for the ''UFC Undisputed'' video games (earning him a Guinness World Record; see OverlyNarrowSuperlative) and ''WWE [=SmackDown=] vs. RAW 2011''. He also designed ''VideoGame/{{Calculords}}'', a math-based scifi strategy game for the iPhone and later Android.

!!Seanbaby provides examples of:

* AccentuateTheNegative
** Occasionally averted. For instance, there's his list of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-10-most-irreplaceable-performances-in-comedy-films/ irreplaceable comedy performances]], designed as a tribute to Leslie Nielsen and actually praising the people listed.
* AlternativeCharacterInterpretation: Popsicle Pete as an EldritchAbomination. [[invoked]]
** [[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: None of you are safe! ]]

** And some obscure comic book character who traipsed around punching everybody without provocation - reborn as ''The Punchmaster!''
*** '''Nobody questions the Punchmaster!''' '''[[UnSoundEffect *PUNCH!*]]'''
** According to him, Franchise/GreenLantern uses his powers for [[PowerPerversionPotential much less heroic purposes.]]
** If you ever see cops in a comic book, chances are one of them will be ''Dick Whiskey: Drunk Cop'', accompanied by his equally drunk partner O'Malley.
** He's insisted, across multiple media, that Music/PhilCollins is gay:
-->Crispin Boyer: Seanbaby, I'm pretty sure Phil Collins is straight.
-->Seanbaby: Then why does he always, at every time, have forty to fifty dicks in his mouth?
-->Crispin: You don't know the context.
** [[http://www.seanbaby.com/130.php Smokey the Bear]] as a harbinger of destruction.
* AnimeHair: He has a very special hairstyle.
* {{Arcadia}}: He was raised on a farm, and he goes out of his way in a [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-things-no-one-tells-you-about-living-farm/ Cracked article]] to [[SubvertedTrope dispel the illusion that country life is nothing but fresh air, cute animals and friendly, simple folks]]. It's actually full of mean, stupid animals that defecate on everything and paranoid, gun-wielding psychopaths.
* BadassBiker: In its heyday, the network G4 had a panda mascot named Po-ken. One of the promos had Seanbaby playing "Biker Billy", a boss from Po-ken's (fictional) game, beating up Po-ken in a forest.
* BadassBoast: He's the man who invented being funny on the Internet.
* BerserkButton: He seems to be DrivenToMadness by the "romantic" advice laid out in books written by one Gregory J.P. Godek.
* BitingTheHandHumor: In EGM's 200th issue, Seanbaby wrote an article that made fun of the seven worst EGM reviews written for games that earned an average score of seven out of ten.
* BoisterousBruiser
* BrokeTheRatingScale: He often invents rating systems for his Cracked articles to explain certain aspects of the works he's dealing with. This dates back to EGM, where he refused to rate a certain game with a number and instead gave it a troll riding a hot dog.
* CallBack: It's common for him to reference some of his old jokes, and many of them are so subtle that only his most dedicated readers will catch them. For example, one of Dick Whiskey's cop buddies is a guy named Fisketti, who first appeared in Seanbaby's article about the Rainbow Raider. The phrase "A real hot dog" is first noted by Seanbaby in his review for "Mr. T's Be Somebody Or Be Somebody's Fool", and shows up again in a Kick-To-The-Groin comic he made for one Probe article about videogame violence.
* CausticCritic: One of the original online game critics.
* DeadpanSnarker
* GeniusBruiser: Trains in muay thai and Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
* HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood:
--> [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-things-no-one-tells-you-about-living-farm/ Seanbaby]]: I learned how to throw a tomahawk before I learned how to throw a football, which was ridiculous since if we were involved in a ranged altercation, there weren't enough people in the state of Oregon to soak up my family's ammunition supply. My folks used to turn off the electricity on weekends to prepare us for a life of self-sustained everything. I had so many knives and spears stashed in tree forts that my version of ''Film/HomeAlone'' would have been rated NC-17, and my parents thought that was ''rad.'' I should have made it clear earlier that when I said, "In the country, all your neighbors are insane," I was mostly talking to the people living next to me.
* MaleGaze: In one ''EGM'' article where he and his girlfriend tried to find the worst products showcased at E3, one involved her wearing a VR headset that blocked her view of the outside world completely. Naturally, this gave Seanbaby an opportunity to take a picture of him staring down her shirt ([[AbsoluteCleavage she was cosplaying as Christie from "Tekken"]]) without her noticing.
* MistakenForGay: Must have been the leather pants and fancy haircut.
* MonsterClown: All clowns are The Minotaur. All clowns are The Minotaur. There is no escape. ''It will never be your birthday again''.
* NoodleImplements: He likes to talk about these. One in particular involved a sexual position that needed lube that glowed in the dark ''and'' kills sharks.
* OverlyNarrowSuperlative: Seanbaby holds a legitimate Guinness World Record for his script work on ''UFC Undisputed 2009''; the record of note is "Most Commentary Recorded For A Fighting Game".
* RatedMForManly: Seanbaby likes to play this straight and lampshade it at the same time.
* RedBaron: "The Man who Invented Being Funny on The Internet." TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard.
* SmallNameBigEgo: Not Seanbaby himself, but some interesting characters have come out of the woodwork after finding Seanbaby's articles:
** Mike Arkin, who worked on the NES ''Film/TotalRecall1990'' game. Threatened to sue and/or shoot Seanbaby over his review of the game.
** Mark Discordia, who wrote to ''Magazine/NintendoPower'' during the 90s at the age of 32. After Seanbaby mocked the letter, someone claiming to be Mark had several exchanges with Sean, during which "Mark" made escalating boasts of his sex life, salary, and drug use.
** The whole point of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-assholes-who-found-this-article-by-googling-themselves/ 8 Douchebags Who Found This Article By Googling Themselves]].
** Uwe Boll, who challenged Sean to a boxing match after Sean wrote a scathing review of one of his movies. After it was revealed to Boll that Sean practices muay thai and was a full head taller than him (whereas the previous reviewers Boll had faced were thin, gangly, and rather short), Boll promptly backed down.
* TalksLikeASimile: A large part of his writing style. The analogies in question are rather... [[RefugeInAudacity colorful]].
* TheRival: He's developed a red-hot hatred toward Gregory J.P. Godek, an author who has written several books that are lists of romantic things to do with your lover (Example, ''10,000 Ways to Say I Love You.'') He has spent several articles completely eviscerating his books.
* WallOfText: His style of humor can get pretty wordy- he often constructs complex scenarios to set up a punchline. One of his ''EGM'' editors once complained to him that his writing was like a house of cards, where removing one sentence makes the whole article fall apart.
* YouGottaHaveBlueHair: Or red hair, or red AND blue hair. As long as it's spiked, it's all good.
** And for his spectacular homemade 4th of July fireworks articles? Ayup: Red, white and blue hair!