->''Gangster Computer God worldwide '''SECRET CONTAINMENT POLICY''', made possible SOLY by worldwide Computer God Frankenstein Controls, especially LIFELONG CONSTANT THRESHOLD BRAIN WASH RADIO ( quiet and motionless, I can slightly hear it; repeatedly this has saved my life on the streets ). FOUR BILLION worldwide population ALL living have a Computer God CONTAINMENT POLICY BRAIN BANK BRAIN, A REAL BRAIN, in the Brain Bank Cities on the far side of the Moon, we never see.''
-->--'''[[http://www.bentoandstarchky.com/dec/containmentpolicy.htm Gangster Computer God Worldwide Secret Containment Policy]]'''

'''Francis E. Dec''', Esq. (1926-1996) was a U.S. lawyer, famous for collapsing into paranoid schizophrenia in the early sixties, henceforth living as a recluse and mass-mailing wild, paranoid typewriter-keyed rants around the country.

The SoBadItsGood inanity and downright hilarious insanity, as well as the all-caps, over-dramatic format of his rants have caused them to gain a CultClassic status.

Dec's rants detail a complicated (and often highly contradictory) universe-spanning conspiracy, presided over by the Worldwide Mad Deadly Communist Gangster Computer God, and involving MindControl of the whole human race, invisible cities on the far side of the moon, as well as pretty much every single non-Slavic race (Dec was a [[InvertedTrope Polish supremacist]], of all things). Common antagonists in Dec's life included [[PlotHole Jewish Nazis]], [[ImmediateSelfContradiction Communist-Catholic]] warrior monks with poison-coated swords and night vision goggles, and CIA-affiliated Ethiopian gangster perverts who had apparently covertly taken over Nassau County, NY for the purposes of [[AnalProbing anally abusing]] the populace while they slept. Seems legit, right?

Should you be interested in his creations, [[http://www.bentoandstarchky.com/dec/ the biggest fan-page is perhaps the place to start]]. Mind, however, that his rants are bound to be extremely offensive for some people.

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!!The Deadly Worldwide Mad Gangster Communist Tropes that can be found within Dec's works include:
* AdaptationalVillainy: We don't know much about Dec's brother, who lived with him and appears in some rants, but we can safely assume that he was not a "deadly felon-murderer and secret assassin-spy agent against me for this Gangster Government".
* AGodAmI: The Top Secret Encyclopedia renamed itself Computer God following it [[AIIsACrapshoot going crapshoot]].
* AIIsACrapshoot: the Worldwide Mad Deadly Communist Gangster Computer God was a Slovene "Top Secret Encyclopedia" which achieved sentience and turned into Devil God.
* AmoralAttorney: Dec was apparently this before his SanitySlippage.
* AnalProbing: What Gangster Computer God's servants do to you at night, if one is to believe Dec.
* AncientConspiracy: Dec was convinced that the Gangster Computer God manages a worldwide one, involving mind-control of entire human race.
* ArtisticLicenseHistory: Among others, Dec claimed that the Roman Empire never existed, that there was once a world-wide Slovene Empire and that Computer God interbred Slovene and black people to create "Jew-mulattos".
** His version of World War Two is just mind-boggling. The Nazis were actually Jews exterminating Polish; the ghettos were posh and luxurious Jew districts; there were only six million Polish and all of them were killed and made into human meat; somehow some of them survived to be later sacrificed for USA and Great Britain; the 1943 ghetto uprising is a fabrication by Gangster Computer God; and pope Pius apparently ate Polish human meat. [[FlatWhat What.]]
* BigBad: The Gangster Computer God is the mastermind behind this all.
* BilingualBonus: Some of the rants contain snippets in broken Polish. Despite some raging anti-Semitism, he also liked to swear in Yiddish (or Yittish, as he called it).
* BoldInflation: Well, underline inflation, since they're written on a typewriter.
* BrainInAJar: Dec believed that our real brains are in "brain bank cities" on the dark side of the moon and our heads contain only a transmitting device connecting us with them. To enable Gangster Computer God to control us, of course.
* CulturalPosturing: The Slovenic-Polish population were apparently the most ingenious race and the creators of all science and religion. The fact that Dec was of Polish-American heritage ''might'' have had something to do with it...
* DemonicPossession: At night you become "Frankenstein slave", controlled by your "moon brain" (and, through it, by Gangster Computer God), so that Gangster Computer God's servants can {{Anal Prob|ing}}e you.
* {{Determinator}}: Dec himself, who spent twenty years of his life typing on his machine dozens upon dozens of rants and sending them out to thousands of random people in hopes of raising public awareness of Gangster Computer God and its nefarious plans.
* DeusEstMachina: The Gangster Computer God has it right in its name.
* DiggingYourselfDeeper: After being found guilty by a court, he sent an appeal letter where he mentioned repeatedly his theory, accusing the judges of being Gangster Government's puppets. Understandably, the court dismissed the appeal.
* EntertaininglyWrong: Dec's ''entire worldview'' is, quite obviously, wrong, but reading about it is just flat out funny.
** A more specific example would be the ''kolendi''. It is true that Poland has a Chrismas tradition of children going from door to door and singing songs (which are [[GrammarNazi actually called]] ''kolędy''), and that one of their usual accessories is [[http://www.ock.org.pl/fotki/g187m.jpg a star on a stick]][[note]]Meant to represent Star of Bethlehem[[/note]]. Dec, however, interpreted it as an [[FightingFromTheInside "Astrocism" ritual]], which is doubly funny if you're Polish and familiar with tradition, or even took part in it.
** Dec was also confident that Polish name for Saturday - ''sobota'' - comes from "sabbath", and further claims that the name comes from the times of Slovene Empire, where on "sabbath day" people would on sabbaths to Astrocism temples. In fact, as in many other languages, "''sobota''" comes from ''Jewish'' tradition of sabbath (''szabat'' in modern Polish).
* EverybodyHasLotsOfSex: According to Dec, all high-level politicians have "sodomite pool parties" where this happens.
* EverythingTryingToKillYou: From "To all Judges":
-->''Deadly poison nerve gas smoke was sprayed at me from CIGARS, CIGARETTES and even from BALL-POINT PENS also from the WIG of a woman sitting next to me, even the Swiss cheese-type ice cubes were evaporating into poison nerve gas smoke in all of the "free" drinks! ''
** He was also concerned about random people--especially minorities--stabbing him with "deadly touch tabin needles", and remote control "deadly touch tarantula spiders".
** He claimed that his typing machine was emitting a poisonous gas causing him to vomit.
* HatesEveryoneEqually: Apart from Slovene-Polish people, nobody's spared by the rants.
* HaveYouToldAnyoneElse: Defied by Dec. He was convinced that Gangster Government is after him because he found out the truth, so he started to send the truth out to thousands of random people, figuring that Gangster Computer God can't kill them all.
* ImmediateSelfContradiction:
** Communist-Catholic conspiracy and Communist (...) God.
** Agnostic religion.
** Computer built by agrarian society.
** Nazi Jews.
* InsaneTrollLogic: All over the place. Somehow he managed to arrive at conclusion that Nazis were Jews, as explained by his fan page's creator:
-->'''zer0''': The Nazi rise to power and crimes against the Polish people also presented a paradox for Dec's addled mind, resulting in apparent mental stress giving rise to what can best be described as a conflict of interests. On one hand, the Nazis did invade Poland to commit atrocities against its people, but on the other hand they also committed the same horrific acts against the Jews! Dec seemingly could not reconcile this conflict. Seeing as how he perceived the Jews as "in" on the conspiracy against him, he was unable to accept them as victims of the Nazi Holocaust. The result (...) was that his hatred and paranoia combined to meld his two most hated enemies together; resulting in a weird amalgamation between the two. The result? Nazi Jews, of course!
* MindControl: He was convinced that everyone is mind controlled by Gangster Computer God through their "real brains", which are stored on the dark side of the moon.
* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: The [[WeAreEverywhere Worldwide]] [[MadGod Mad]] [[EverythingTryingToKillYou Deadly]] [[RedScare Communist]] [[RuthlessForeignGangsters Gangster]] [[DeusEstMachina Computer]] [[JerkassGods God]], most notably.
* OverlyLongName: The Worldwide Mad Deadly Communist Gangster Computer God, duh.
* PlotHole: In spades, but two are most notable:
** If the Slovene people were agrarian society (by author's own admission - it's even underlined), then how did they build the Top Secret Encyclopedia, a supercomputer?
** If everyone is mind-controlled Frankenstein zombie, then how is spreading out the truth supposed to save Dec from his demise at the hands of Gangster Government?
** If "all six million Polish" were exterminated by the "Nazi Jewmany", then how do they still exist and where did Dec go on a "trip to Poland" he mentions in one of his letters?
* ReallyGetsAround: Dec accused both his brother and the wife of the judge who found him guilty of this. The former was supposed to sleep with loads and loads of loose women, while the latter, in Dec's head, offered her body for prostitution during the trial.
* SanitySlippage: Francis Dec underwent one after being accused of forgery and losing his trial, turning into conspiracy-spewing maniac you can see on this page.
* SchizoTech: The "Infrared Crusaders" -- the real-life Knights of the Cross were apparently equipped with poisoned swords and infrared goggles, all to better conquer the Slovene people.
** The Slovene people qualify as well, having agrarian society and supercomputers.
* TakeOverTheWorld: Apparently, Gangster Computer God's plain is total control over entire universe.
* ThroughTheEyesOfMadness: A RealLife example.
* WallOfText: His rants were [[http://www.bentoandstarchky.com/dec/crusaderpriests/crusaderpriestsrant.jpg like this]], with no paragraph breaks, opening, ending, and mostly without any kind of title.
* WordSaladPhilosophy: To AbsurdityAscendant levels.
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[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer We're not making any of this up.]]
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