->"''That bird only sings when she's unhappy.''"
-->--'''Alexander Woollcott'''

->''“You can drag a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”''
-->-- '''Dorothy Parker''', after being asked to use "horticulture" in a sentence.

Dorothy Parker (August 22, 1893 – June 7, 1967) was an American poet, critic, and satirist, known for her [[DeadpanSnarker biting wit]]. Her written works specialized in cynicism related to love and romance, how they don't seem to work in practice as they do in idealistic works, and how even people who know this still want love and romance. Some of her shorter works are flat-out memorized in certain circles, and her influence remains in the PopCulturalOsmosis for tropes about non-ideal love.

She also collaborated with various people on occasional plays and screenplays, sharing an UsefulNotes/AcademyAward nomination for the screenplay of the original ''Film/AStarIsBorn''. She's also co-written the screenplay to Creator/AlfredHitchcock film ''Film/{{Saboteur}}''.

She's also famous for an alleged incident where she met President UsefulNotes/CalvinCoolidge, a notorious example of TheQuietOne, at a party and told him "Mr. President, I just bet my friend that I could get you to say more than two words." Coolidge looked at her and said, "You lose." Parker would later get the last laugh, however: when Coolidge passed away, her immediate reaction to the news was [[TakeThat "How can they tell?"]]

!!TV Tropes pages with page quotes from Dorothy Parker:

* FlatCharacter
* TheGlassesGottaGo
* InformedAttribute
* SuicideAsComedy

!!Works by Dorothy Parker with pages:
* ''Literature/BigBlonde''

%% We do not link to the Wallbanger section from the main part of the wiki.

!!Works by Dorothy Parker provide examples of:
%% Zero-Context Examples are not allowed on this wiki. All such entries have been commented out. Please add context to them before uncommenting them.

* AndImTheQueenOfSheba:
-->Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,\\
A medley of extemporanea,\\
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,\\
And I am Marie of Romania.
* ApplianceDefenestration: From a review of ''Beauty and the Beast'' by Kathleen Norris: "I wish you could have heard that pretty crash ''Beauty and the Beast'' made when, with one sweeping, liquid gesture, I tossed it out of my twelfth-story window."
* AuthorsOfQuote: Herself an example, she also remarked on another case:
-->When, with the literate, I am\\
Impelled to try an epigram,\\
I never seek to take the credit;\\
We just assume that [[Creator/OscarWilde Oscar]] said it.
* BabyTalk: Reviewing ''[[Literature/WinnieThePooh The House at Pooh Corner]]'' under the ''nom de plume'' "Constant Reader":
-->It is that word ‘hummy,’ my darlings, that marks the first place in ''The House at Pooh Corner'' at which Tonstant Weader Fwowed up.
* BaitAndSwitchComment: "This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
* CausticCritic: She was famous for this. In 1920, she was fired from ''Vanity Fair'', because her savage theater reviews offended powerful producers too often.
* DullSurprise: Described Creator/KatharineHepburn's performance in an early role, the notorious flop ''The Lake'', as having "run the gamut of emotions from A to B".
* KeepTheHomeFiresBurning: The poem "Penelope", a tribute to [[Literature/TheOdyssey Odysseus' wife]].
* RichSuitorPoorSuitor: "The Choice" is a poem about a woman who has a choice between a man who offers her lands and fine things and a man who charms her with his singing alone. She chooses the latter without a second thought--and then wonders afterward if there's something wrong with her head.