-> Played by Tommy Wiseau

%%* AteHisGun
* {{Catchphrase}}:
** Oh hai, X.
** That's the idea!
** "Don't worry about that/it." Says this to things people would typically worry about, with variations.
* ColdHam: Thanks to Wiseau's horrible acting. Even when Johnny is screaming and going over the top, he sounds bored with his dialogue.
* DullSurprise: "I did not hit her, it's not true. It's bullshit, I did not hit her! I did NAAAGHT... Oh hi, Mark."
%%* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Melancholic.
* {{Gonk}}: Tommy Wiseau isn't as attractive as he thinks he is.
%%* TheHero
* TheHyena: "Ts-Hahahahahahahahaha."
* LargeHam: Somehow manages to overlap this with DullSurprise.
* LipLock: Has a ''bad'' case of it.
* LooksLikeCesare: Black hair, and an appearance that suggests he doesn't go outside much.
* NiceGuy: Lets see, he apparently buys Lisa a dozen red roses every time they make love, or at least often enough to be the flower shop lady's favorite customer, and would do anything for. He's paying for Denny's college and tuition without asking for anything in return. Is incredibly nice to all of his friends and seems to only want to make Lisa happy.
%%* RapunzelHair
* TheTeetotaler: The exception being the [[GargleBlaster Scotchka]] scene.
* [[spoiler:TooGoodForThisSinfulEarth]]
* TookALevelInJerkass: Towards the end of the movie, starting with the fight between him and Mark as he discovers that Lisa is cheating on him during his birthday party.
%%* UnstoppableRage
* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: Especially funny since it's Tommy Wiseau's natural accent.
* YouNoTakeCandle: Slips into this at times, most notably "Everybody betray me! I fed up with this world!"

-> Played by Juliette Danielle

%%* BrainlessBeauty
%%* BeautyIsBad
* BigBad: The closest thing the movie has to one.
* BitchInSheepsClothing
* {{Catchphrase}}:
** "I don't want to talk about it"
** "Don't worry about it."
* TheChick: Right down to being in a LoveTriangle with TheHero and TheLancer.
* {{Determinator}}: Juliette Danielle is, at least. Knowing all the abuse, degradation, and humiliation she endured while making the film, it's truly amazing that she got through it at all.
* DumbBlonde: In a way. Most notably not caring about the fact that if she continues cheating, she's going to destroy Johnny, despite Stevens serious words to her.
%%* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Choleric.
* InformedAttractiveness: Lisa's actress isn't ugly, but she still does not quite live up to how beautiful all the men act like she is.
* HelloNurse: Barely a scene goes by where someone doesn't comment on her attractiveness.
%%* HotGirlsAreBitches
%%* ItsAllAboutMe
%%* {{Jerkass}}
* {{Manipulative B|astard}}itch: Dear God, Lisa. Mark flat-out lampshaded this.
* PettheDog: Despite her nastiness, Lisa seems to genuinely care for Denny
* SatelliteLoveInterest: As the girlfriend, her scenes are limited to having sex and sitting on a pedestal. As the antagonist, she's shown to have some extra dimension.
* StupidEvil: She makes quite a few mistakes during the movie.
* TheUnfairSex: {{Inverted|Trope}}; everyone acts like the affair is her fault while downplaying Mark's role. Though she was the one throwing it in people's faces.
* YourCheatingHeart

-> Played by Greg Sestero

%%* BeautyIsBad
* DullSurprise: His reaction every time Lisa invites him over "[[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow to talk]]" and then winds up trying to sleep with him.
* FlatCharacter: Greg Sestero himself views Mark this way. [[http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1nbna6/oh_hai_mark_greg_sestero_mark_from_the_room_here/ According to him, any time he tried to add any depth to the role, Tommy would accuse him of trying to be king of the world.]]
* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Phlegmatic.
* ImAManICantHelpIt: The presumed explanation for TheUnfairSex below.
* ImportantHaircut: Subverted. He shaves his beard and everyone makes a big deal out of it, but it doesn't signal a change in character.
* TheLancer: He's Johnny's ''best friend''.
* MarijuanaIsLSD: Becomes uncharacteristically violent and belligerent after taking just a couple hits from a joint.
%%* MrFanservice
* TheStoner: A hilariously ill-written variation. See MarijuanaIsLSD above.
* {{Tuckerization}}: Attempted. According to The Disaster Artist, Tommy named Mark after the lead actor of Film/TheTalentedMrRipley "[[Creator/MattDamon Mark Damon]]"
* TheUnfairSex: {{Inverted|Trope}}; everyone acts like the affair is entirely Lisa's fault.

-> Played by Philip Haldiman

* AmbiguousDisorder: His behavior is... incredibly bizarre for someone who is likely pushing his twenties. Even Tommy Wiseau has admitted the character makes more sense if you think of him as mildly retarded.
* AmbiguouslyBi: Reacts in a conspicuously nonchalant manner upon hearing about Mike's "underwears" and later expresses how "handsome" every other male character looks in their tuxes individually, sounding decidedly excited while doing so. Also, early on in the movie he explains to Lisa that he "loves" her...and Johnny after asking to kiss her.
* CompressedVice: His drug dealings with Chris-R are brought up once and then never again afterward.
* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Sanguine.
%%* KidAppealCharacter
* ManChild: To a degree. He keeps trying to go upstairs with Johnny and Lisa when he knows they're going to have sex, and presumably wants to join in, then follows them upstairs and jumps on the bed. He also talks about how he's "in love" with Lisa like a 7-year old, and fawns over her to a creepy effect.
* NoSocialSkills: "I just like to watch you guys."
* PhraseCatcher: "Oh hai, Denny!"
* PrecisionFStrike: Against Claudette.
* TagalongKid: Denny doesn't have much importance to the plot.

-> Played by Carolyn Minnott

* GoldDigger: She certainly believes that women should aspire to be this and more or less states that it's the only reason she married Lisa's father.
* TheMentor: The closest thing this movie has to one. Naturally, she's very bad at it.
* [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Woman]]: She may be an immoral, self-absorbed hypochondriac, but she's also the only character in this movie who seems even remotely aware of how absurd the plot is.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: Her breast cancer. It comes up once, then is never mentioned again.
--> "They have cures for everything."

-> Played by Mike Holmes

* BetaCouple: With Michelle.
%%* TheBigGuy
%%* PluckyComicRelief

-> Played by Robyn Paris

* BetaCouple: With Mike.

-> Played by Dan Janjigian

%%* TheAggressiveDrugDealer
* ChandlersLaw: He starts the first violent part of the movie.
* ClusterFBomb: "Where's my FUCKIN' MONEY DENNY?!"
* GangstaStyle: How he holds his gun.
* GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere: He isn't really referenced until he shows up to try and get Denny to pay him. [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse After that, he is never mentioned or referenced again]].
%%* HotBlooded
* LargeHam: According to ''Literature/TheDisasterArtist'', Dan gave what's considered the most passionate performance in the movie.
* NoIndoorVoice: To be fair, he was outside when he was doing all his yelling. Though presumably being inside wouldn't have stopped him.
%%* SirSwearsalot
%%* SleevesAreForWimps

-> Played by Kyle Vogt

%%* BrainySpecs
* BusmansHoliday: Is still playing the Psychologist even when he's off-duty.
* ChuckCunninghamSyndrome: Mysteriously disappears midway through the movie, and is never mentioned again.
* OnlySaneMan: [[TookTheBadFilmSeriously Even in real life]].
%%* TheSmartGuy
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: His actor quit mid-movie, so he disappears and Steven takes his place.

-> Played by Greg Ellery

* AllThereInTheScript: His name is only known by the credits.
* EleventhHourRanger
-->[[RiffTrax "Um, I'm sorry. Should we know who you are? Hello?"]]
%%* LargeHam
* RememberTheNewGuy: An impossibly lazy example. With about 20 minutes left in the movie, a new character suddenly appears and becomes deeply involved in the plot. Presumably, we're not supposed to notice that he suddenly appeared from nowhere without an introduction. WordOfGod is that Steven is supposed to be a replacement for the psychologist character Peter (whose actor left the production), but the audience is given no hint of this; indeed, Steven looks nothing like Peter.
* SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Originally, Peter had Steven's role, but his actor quit during filming, leading to Steven's creation.

-> AsHimself

* AsHimself
* PreciousPuppy
%%* TeamPet

!!Flower Shop Lady

%%* AmbiguouslyGay


Claudette's brother (and Lisa's uncle), who wants her to give him a share of her house. Claudette is less than willing to do this.

* TheGhost: Along with Shirley Hamilton.
* {{Jerkass}}: According to Claudette.

!!Shirley Hamilton

Claudette's friend, who wants to buy a new house. Claudette asks Johnny to help her with a down payment, only for him to tell her it's an awkward situation. She expected him to be more generous. The only character in the entire movie to have a surname, yet she's entirely offscreen.

* TheGhost: Along with Harold.