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!!Johnny
-> Played by Tommy Wiseau

* {{Catchphrase}}: Oh hai, X.
** His laugh is distinctive and frequent to the point where it almost counts. Ts-hahah.
** That's the idea!
** "Don't worry about that/it." Says this to things people would typically worry about, with variations.
* [[spoiler:DrivenToSuicide]]
** [[spoiler:AteHisGun]]
* DullSurprise: "I did not hit her, it's not true. It's bullshit, I did not hit her! I did NAAAGHT... Oh hi, Mark."
* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Melancholic.
* {{Gonk}}
* TheHero
* TheHyena
* LargeHam: Somehow manages to overlap this with DullSurprise.
* LipLock: Has a ''bad'' case of it.
* LooksLikeCesare
* TheMessiah
* NiceGuy: Lets see, he apparently buys Lisa a dozen red roses every time they make love, or at least often enough to be the flower shop lady's favorite customer, and would do anything for. He's paying for Denny's college and tuition without asking for anything in return. Is incredibly nice to all of his friends and seems to only want to make Lisa happy.
** TookALevelInJerkass: Towards the end of the movie, starting with the fight between him and Mark as he discovers that Lisa is cheating on him during his birthday party.
* RapunzelHair
* TheTeetotaler
* [[spoiler:TooGoodForThisSinfulEarth]]
* [[spoiler:UnstoppableRage]]
* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: Especially funny since it's Tommy Wiseau's natural accent.
* YouNoTakeCandle: Slips into this at times, most notably "Everybody betray me! I fed up with this world!"

!!Lisa
-> Played by Juliette Danielle

* BitchInSheepsClothing
* {{Catchphrase}}: "I don't want to talk about it"
** "Don't worry about it."
* TheChick: Right down to being in a LoveTriangle with TheHero and TheLancer.
* {{Determinator}}: Juliette Danielle is, at least. Knowing all the abuse, degradation, and humiliation she endured while making the film, it's truly amazing that she got through it at all.
* DumbBlonde: In a way. Most notably not caring about the fact that if she continues cheating, she's going to destroy Johnny, despite Stevens serious words to her.
* DyeHard: If you couldn't tell from her roots and eyebrows.
* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Choleric.
* InformedAttractiveness: Lisa's actress isn't ugly, but she still does not quite live up to how beautiful all the men act like she is.
** BrainlessBeauty
** BeautyIsBad
** HelloNurse: Barely a scene goes by where someone doesn't comment on her attractiveness.
** HotGirlsAreBitches
* ItsAllAboutMe
* {{Jerkass}}
* LadyInRed: With her iconic red dress.
* {{Manipulative B|astard}}itch: Dear God, Lisa. Mark flat-out lampshaded this.
* MeanCharacterNiceActor: Lisa is a self-serving, manipulative witch willing to screw others to get what she wants. Juliette Danielle, on the other hand, according to her Facebook, is a KindheartedCatLover.
** She also found the [[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/25743-the-room Nostalgic Critic]]'s review of the movie to be extremely funny where as Wiseau sued him.
* StupidEvil
* TheUnfairSex: {{Inverted|Trope}}; everyone acts like the affair is her fault while downplaying Mark's role. Though she was the one throwing it in people's faces.
* YourCheatingHeart

!!Mark
-> Played by Greg Sestero

* BeautyIsBad
* DullSurprise: His reaction every time Lisa invites him over "[[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow to talk]]" and then winds up trying to sleep with him.
* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Phlegmatic.
* ImAManICantHelpIt: The presumed explanation for TheUnfairSex below.
* ImportantHaircut: Subverted. He shaves his beard and everyone makes a big deal out of it, but it doesn't signal a change in character.
* TheLancer: He's Johnny's ''best friend''.
* MrFanservice
* TheStoner
** [[MarijuanaIsLSD Marijuana Is Crack Cocaine]]: Becomes uncharacteristically violent and belligerent after taking just a couple hits from a joint.
* {{Tuckerization}}: Attempted. According to The Disaster Artist, Tommy named Mark after the lead actor of Film/TheTalentedMrRipley "[[Creator/MattDamon Mark Damon]]"
* TheUnfairSex: {{Inverted|Trope}}; everyone acts like the affair is Lisa's fault.

!!Denny
-> Played by Philip Haldiman

* AmbiguousDisorder: His behavior is... incredibly bizarre for someone who is likely pushing his twenties. Even Tommy Wiseau has admitted the character makes more sense if you think of him as mildly retarded.
* AmbiguouslyBi: Reacts in a conspicuously nonchalant manner upon hearing about Mike's "underwears" and later expresses how "handsome" every other male character looks in their tuxes individually, sounding decidedly excited while doing so. Also, early on in the movie he explains to Lisa that he "loves" her...and Johnny after asking to kiss her.
* CompressedVice: His drug dealings with Chris-R are brought up once and then never again afterward.
* DawsonCasting: Despite looking like and having the characteristics of a teenager, Philip Haldiman is actually older than the actors who play Lisa, Mark, Michelle, and Mike.
* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Sanguine.
* KidAppealCharacter
* ManChild: To a degree. He keeps trying to go upstairs with Johnny and Lisa when he knows they're going to have sex, and presumably wants to join in, then follows them upstairs and jumps on the bed. He also talks about how he's "in love" with Lisa like a 7-year old, and fawns over her to a creepy effect.
* NoSocialSkills
* PhraseCatcher: "Oh hai, Denny!"
* TagalongKid

!!Claudette
-> Played by Carolyn Minnott

* EvilMatriarch: Has bits of it.
* TheMentor: The closest thing this movie has to one. Naturally, she's very bad at it.
* [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Woman]]: She may be an immoral, self-absorbed hypochondriac, but she's also the only character in this movie who seems even remotely aware of how absurd the plot is.
** This seems especially true in real life, as she knew that this movie was gonna be disastrous; she likely just stuck it out for the laughs.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: Her breast cancer.
** "They have cures for everything."

!!Mike
-> Played by Mike Holmes

* BetaCouple: With Michelle.
* TheBigGuy
* TheDanza: [[InvertedTrope Inverted]], if such a thing is possible. The actor's name is actually ''Scott'' Holmes. He gets billed as Mike Holmes because Wiseau forgot what his first name was.
* FanNickname: Me Underwears.
* PluckyComicRelief

!!Michelle
-> Played by Robyn Paris

* BetaCouple: With Mike.

!!Chris-R
-> Played by Dan Janjigian

* TheAggressiveDrugDealer
** [[GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere Drug Dealer From Nowhere]]: Isn't really referenced until he shows up to try and get Denny to pay him. [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse After that, he is never mentioned or referenced again]].
* ChandlersLaw
* ClusterFBomb
* GangstaStyle: How he holds his gun.
* HotBlooded
* LargeHam
* NoIndoorVoice: To be fair, he was outside when he was doing all his yelling. Though presumably being inside wouldn't have stopped him.
* SirSwearsalot
* SleevesAreForWimps

!!Peter
-> Played by Kyle Vogt

* BrainySpecs
* BusmansHoliday: Is still playing the Psychologist even when he's off-duty.
* ChuckCunninghamSyndrome: Mysteriously disappears midway through the movie, and is never mentioned again.
* OnlySaneMan: [[TookTheBadFilmSeriously Even in real life]].
* TheSmartGuy
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: His actor quit mid-movie, so he disappears and Steven takes his place.
** Kyle Vogt had another gig at the time of production, and despite repeatedly telling Wiseau that he had a limited amount of time to work, they were not able to finish filming his scenes. In fact, Wiseau insisted on the famous "football in tuxes" scene, rather than filming Peter's scenes at the party.

!!Steven
-> Played by Greg Ellery

* AllThereInTheScript: His name is only known by the credits.
* EleventhHourRanger
-->[[RiffTrax "Um, I'm sorry. Should we know who you are? Hello?"]]
* LargeHam
* RememberTheNewGuy: A really lazy example. With about 20 minutes left in the movie, a new character, he suddenly appears and becomes deeply involved in the plot. Presumably, we're not supposed to notice that he suddenly appeared from nowhere without an introduction. WordOfGod is that Steven is supposed to be a replacement for the psychologist character Peter (whose actor left the production), but the audience is given no hint of this; indeed, Steven looks nothing like Peter.
* SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Originally, Peter had Steven's role, but his actor quit during filming, leading to Steven's creation.

!!Doggie
-> AsHimself

* TeamPet

!!Flower Shop Lady

* [[AmbiguouslyGay Ambiguously Lesbian]]

!!Harold

Claudette's brother (and Lisa's uncle), who wants her to give him a share of her house. Claudette is less than willing to do this.

* TheGhost
* {{Jerkass}}: According to Claudette.

!!Shirley Hamilton

Claudette's friend, who wants to buy a new house. Claudette asks Johnny to help her with a down payment, only for him to tell her it's an awkward situation. She expected him to be more generous. The only character in the entire movie to have a surname, yet she's entirely offscreen.

* TheGhost
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