!Matthew Williams
* AbusiveParents: His stepfather was one.
* BlindWithoutEm
* TheCharmer
* ChickMagnet AND DudeMagnet
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: He frequently talks to a lamp and once got so distracted he drove into a pole.
* CompanionCube: The Lamp, later Kumajiro.
* DarkAndTroubledPast: The boy has ''not'' had an easy life.
* DeadpanSnarker
* DefrostingIceQueen: Warms up to Al, and although he stays snarky and bitchy for the whole damn fic, they get plenty of AwLookTheyReallyDoLoveEachOther moments.
* DeusAngstMachina: His life has ''sucked''.
* DudeLooksLikeALady: Arthur mistakes him for a girl and he mentions casually that it "happens a lot".
* HookerWithAHeartOfGold: A former one.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold
* NeverGetsDrunk: He can get drunk, but it takes a hell of a lot and he can easily drink guys twice his size under the table.
* PrettyBoy
* SirSwearsALot
* TheSnarkKnight
* TheStoner
* SugarAndIcePersonality
* TheTease: He flirts a ''lot'', but "isn't into picking up girls at bars". Also, towards Alfred, oh so very much.
* TroubledButCute
* ReallyGetsAround: Used to be far worse than he is now, according to Gilbert he had sex with the entire cheerleading team when they were in high school.
* [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes Why Did It Have To Be A Rat?]]

!Alfred Jones

* AttentionWhore
* BreakTheHaughty: So much.
* ChickMagnet
* ChronicHeroSyndrome: Lke his canon counterpart. The difference is that ''this'' Alfred really needs someone to save ''him''.
* DitzyGenius: According to Arthur he "inherited all of the family's book smarts, but none of the common sense."
* DoggedNiceGuy Towards Matt
* DrugsAreBad: Since cocaine practically ruined his life and he almost died of an overdose.
* GoingColdTurkey: Poor, ''poor'' Al.
* IfItsYouItsOkay: "I'm not gay; I only like one guy, and since he gets mistaken for a girl more often than not, I doubt that even makes me bisexual."
* InSeriesNickname: Princess, courtesy of Matt on account of his acting like a SpoiledBrat.
* InsufferableGenius: The fact that it's justified just makes his arrogance more annoying.
* KindheartedCatLover
* LonelyRichKid: Used to be one, and never really lost the complex.
* NiceToTheWaiter: Pointed out out by Matt that "People like you don't help people like me".
* ParentalNeglect: Implied. His dad's response to Alfred asking to learn how to drive was "I don't have time for that shit".
* StepfordSmiler
* TroubledButCute
* WackyFratBoyHijinks: And still just as bad, despite being 28.
* WideEyedIdealist: Subverted. He acts the part, but he has a lot of issues.
* ReallyGetsAround
* [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes Why did it have to be ghosts?]]

!Arthur Kirkland
* BigBrotherInstinct: Towards Alfred, though this [[VitriolicBestBuds is not always apparant]].
** TheCaretaker[=/=]LivingEmotionalCrutch : And when Alfred ''really'' screws up, Arthur will be the one picking up the pieces.
* BritishStuffiness
* DeadpanSnarker
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold
* InSeriesNickname: Fairy-pants. Drawing fantasy artwork around Alfred runs that risk.
* LethalChef
* OnlySaneMan
* TeamDad

!Gilbert Beilschmidt
--> "Girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on
-->about chlamydia. Also I'm eating jello out of a teacup
-->with a fork instead of taking notes on Dali. Awesome?"

* BetaCouple: With Roderich
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}
* FunSize
* GratuitousGerman
* HeterosexualLifePartners: With Matt, not that Gilbert doesn't want it to be more.
* {{Keet}}
* [[IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer If You Ever Do Anything To Hurt Him]] gives Alfred this warning about Matthew. With his Vietnam-veteran dad. And a shotgun.
* LivingEmotionalCrutch: Was one for Matt when they were in highschool, due to the Canadian's depression and abusive parents.
* PapaWolf: A milder example, in that he is still incredibly protective of Matt.
* PerkyGoth
* TheStoner
* UnluckyChildhoodFriend: To Matt

!Roderich Edelstein
* BenevolentBoss
* BetaCouple: With Gilbert.
* GentlemanAndAScholar
* OnlySaneMan
* SmartPeopleWearGlasses

!Chris [=DePaulo=]'t
* EmotionlessBoy: Less actually emotionless, more the "just doesn't like or find it easy to talk about his feelings".
* WithFriendsLikeThese: He and Alfred openly despise each other, but Chris is the one who saves Alfred's ass when he overdoses.
* HairTriggerTemper
* OnlySaneMan: Amonsgt Alfred's friends.
* VitriolicBestBuds: With Alfred.

!Matthias
* HardDrinkingPartyGirl: RareMaleExample
* {{Keet}}
* TheStoner

!Teit
* [[GratuitousForeignLanguage Gratuitous Norwegian]]
* TheQuietOne

!Peter Kirkland
* CheerfulChild
* ChildrenAreInnocent

!Pavel
* FauxAffablyEvil: He's so ''polite'' about all the drug dealing and attempted murder.
* StalkerWithoutACrush: Towards Alfred.

!Jason
* AbusiveParents
* AlcoholicParent
* GreenEyedMonster: His treatment of Matt stemmmed from the belief that Matt's mother loved her son more than him.

!Frederick

!Dr McKnight
* TeamDad
* TheShrink
* TheCaretaker: To Matt.
* LikeASonToMe: How he thinks of Matt.

!Jade McKnight
* FieryRedhead
* LethalChef: Do ''not'' let her bake.
* UsefulNotes/{{Scotland}}
* TeamMom

!Greg McKnight
* HenpeckedHusband: To Jade

!Vanessa [=DePaulo=]
--->"When you're with us, you immediately surrender your dignity. It's almost like selling yourself into prostitution."
* GranolaGirl: Milder example than most, but does yoga and tells Chris that drinking green tea will calm him down.
* HappilyMarried: To Chris
* NiceGirl
* TeamMom

!Amelia Jones
* GenkiGirl
* MissingMom: Was one for Alfred, not to say she didn't have her reasons.

!Antonio Fernandez Carriedo
* TheStoner
* NiceGuy
* GratuitousSpanish
* SleepyHead

!Gupta
* FunSize
* TheQuietOne

!Lars
* EruditeStoner
* EthicalSlut
* HotForStudent: Was Matt's art teacher in highschool. Went a little [[SexTropes further]] than most examples of this trope.

!Sheldon
* CampGay
* CantHoldHisLiquor
* EverythingIsBigInTexas
* FunPersonified
* FunSize
* {{Keet}}
* PerpetualSmiler: Constantly happy despite working 80+ hours a week, and descrbed by Alfred as an "Eternal optimist".
* HeterosexualLifePartners: With Allan. Though, admittably, Sheldon stretches the definition of "heterosexual" until it snaps under it's own weight.
* ThoseTwoGuys: Again, with Allan.

!Allan Coco
-->"If it weren't for the fact that you and Matthew are a very successful couple, I'd have written you off as a
-->high-maintenance crazy cat lady,"
* EverythingIsBigInTexas
* {{Keet}}
* PerpetualSmiler
* HeterosexualLifePartners: With Sheldon.
* ThoseTwoGuys: With Sheldon.
* SickeninglySweethearts: With Chrissy

!Chrissy Coco
-->"Matthew has a nice ass, too. I'm sure you call that one your own already, don't you?"
* EverythingIsBigInTexas
* HardDrinkingPartyGirl
* SickeninglySweethearts: With Allan
* SpicyLatina