[[folder: The Pros]]

!! The Assault
->Voiced by: Ronald "Ron" Hippe

More or less, the [[UsefulNotes/AmericanFootball quarterback]] and go-to guy for the teams of everyone's favorite futuristic BloodSport. The Assault is arguably the the most iconic Pro due to his introduction to players often being the first via the game's tutorial and the fact that he is quite possibly the most versatile Pro. His role in matches is to do...just about anything, though he is somewhat inefficient in Blitz mode.

->Primary: Assault Rifle[[note]] Altfire: Slow down and AIM.[[/note]]
->Secondary: GrenadeLauncher
->Skill 1: Bomb: Area of denial and foe-launching explosive. Upgrades increase power and blast radius.
->Skill 2: Fly ([[NotQuiteFlight though it's really hovering]])
->Skill 3: Charge: Upgrades increase damage.[[note]] Adds a {{Shoryuken}} grapple at level 3.[[/note]]
->Passive Skill: CriticalHit upgrade, level 2 increases jump height.
->Spawned Bots: [[SuicideAttack Buzzer]] x3

* BadassBeard
* BaldOfAwesome
* FoeTossingCharge: Charge skill.
* JackOfAllStats: There's nothing he can't do decently, he really doesn't have any weaknesses.
* JetPack: A somewhat shameful example, his only allows hovering and short charge directly forward.
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: The Assault is [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrell_Owens Terrell Owens]]. The BaldOfAwesome, the attitude about team work, etc. He even wears Owens' #81. Confirmed by [[WordOfGod Uber's own staff.]]
* RingOut: The game's master of this with his quick-recharging skills and high speed that allows him to reach [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Ejectors]] before most other Pros.
* ShoutOut: Sticking a bomb on an enemy pro unlocks the [[VideoGame/HalfLife Head Crab]] protag.
* SightedGunsAreLowTech: Inverted. One of the Assault's unique abilities is ''to use his sights and aim,'' although strangely, the Assault Rifle's model does not have any sights.
* StickyBomb: Bomb skill, it sticks to everything and deals significantly higher amounts of damage when detonated ''on'' a target.
* [[RocketJump Sticky Bomb Jump]]: It also happens to set you on fire, so use it judiciously!

!! The Tank
->Voiced by: Colby Chester

His gentle demeanor betrays his fierce abilities and combat style. He's TheBigGuy, he exists to absorb a lot of damage and dish it out in his slow journey to the enemy moneyball. Completely oblivious to the fact that [[MsFanservice Pitgirl]] thinks he's cute, which probably doesn't help his insecurity. His role in matches is to be something of an ImplacableMan; take a heavy beating while always being able to unleash a wide variety of effective attacks. His comparably quick reload and skill recovery mean he usually has several options to deal with any threat.

->Primary: Jet Gun: A literal jet engine, more or less a flamethrower[[note]] Altfire is [[SpinAttack Death Blossom]]: More powerful with a higher percentage of ammo remaining, cannot be used while deployed, tends to OneHitKill bots.[[/note]]
->Secondary: Rail Gun: Has pinpoint precision and excellent power at range, but is incapable of headshots.
-> Skill 1: Product grenade: A grenade that can be thrown at almost any time, detonates on impact with an enemy target. [[note]] Level 1 deals minor damage, level 2 adds blindness/deafness via sponsor ads, level 3 adds four secondary grenades upon impact or the fuse expiring. Careful! You can hurt and even blind yourself with it![[/note]]
->Skill 2: Deploy. Become a 180 degree turret, but gain increased defense. [[note]] Level 2 notably increases defense while deployed, level 3 adds BottomlessMagazines for both weapons.[[/note]]
->Skill 3: Jet Charge: Charge forward to injure and knock down enemies.[[note]] Upgrade to increase damage, decrease recharge time, and add knockback on level 3.[[/note]]
->Passive Skill: Level 2 increases defense and health recovery rate, level 3 further increases defense to near StoneWall levels. Full upgrade and armor endorsement allows him to survive a headshot.
->Spawned Bots: [[SmashMook Bouncer]] x1

* BeardOfSorrow
* BoisterousBruiser
* BornUnlucky: Well he seems to think so, at least.
--> '''Tank:''' I'd say my luck ran out, but I didn't have any to begin with!
* BottomlessMagazines: Using his Deploy skill after upgrading it to level 3 gives him this.
** As opposed to normal play where the Tank is just like every Pro out there and goes through the inconvenience of needing to reload his weapons.
* [[SpinAttack Death Blossom]]: His deals moderate damage to enemy Pros and turrets, but it's extremely effective against bots and thusly makes him quite useful in Blitz mode.
* EliteTweak: Mastering the proper usage of his jet gun, death blossom, rail gun, grapple, product grenade, charge, and deploy makes the Tank an extremely powerful foe. This requires a pretty diverse range of skills.
* FoeTossingCharge: Jet Charge skill.
* FirebreathingWeapon / PlayingWithFire: His primary weapon is a ''jet engine'' and his jet pack is a shorter range, blind-rear-firing version of it when enemies come into contact with it.
* InterfaceScrew: Upgraded Product Grenades assault their victims with sponsor ads that blind them, even including loud voiceovers by Mickey Cantor that make most other in-game events inaudible.
* JetPack: Unlike the Assault's version, the Tank's thrusters allow him limited upwards movement and double as a rear-firing flamethrower.
** [[FridgeLogic They have infinite use while deployed, but not otherwise...]]
* MightyGlacier: He leans towards being a StoneWall, but his offense is still nasty.
* ObliviousToLove: Somehow misses that Pitgirl has a crush on him, in spite of her dialogue to him often being flirtatious. [[{{Irony}} And he's said on the website to be rather sad about his inability to attract women.]]
* OneHitPolyKill: His rail gun can pierce an infinite number of enemies.
* PinballProjectile: The Product Grenade bounces off walls with zero loss of of momentum.
* PunchedAcrossTheRoom: His grapples have a tendency to cause Ring Outs if used on open ground if they don't kill the target right off.
* RecursiveAmmo: Level 3 Product Grenade splits into four frag grenades after hitting an enemy target or the fuse expiring.
* SniperRifle: The rail gun is a milder example, though it is capable of [[OneHitPolyKill multikills]] against bots.
* StandardStatusEffects: Product Grenade '''Stun'''s and uses advertisements for an unconventional '''Blind'''
* StealthPun: The back of his armor flares out like a beetle shell whenever he uses his Jetpack. [[spoiler: He's a firebug.]]
* TheTurretMaster: An uncommon variant, his Deploy skill turns him into a turret.
* VideogameFlamethrowersSuck: An interesting case. The jet gun isn't an actual flamethrower, ignites enemies, has a reasonable range, and massive damage dropoff. However, using it at point-blank range results in heavy damage regardless of target type.

!! The Support
->Voiced by: David Frederick White

A friendly Italian clone, the Support is comparably weak on offense himself (most especially without a firebase), but his support abilities can make any team's battle go that much more smoothly. This isn't to say though that he isn't dangerous, not by any means. His role on the team is, well...Support. His offensive abilities are limited, but he's great to have for an offensive push in Crossfire and vital to success in Blitz mode.

->Primary: Heal/Hurt Gun: ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. [[note]] Important note: it works on ''ALL'' friendly targets and ''all'' friendly targets but Jackbots can be overhealed. Requires a gold rate of fire endorsement to be particularly effective.[[/note]]
->Secondary: [[ShotgunsAreJustBetter Shotgun]]
->Skill 1: Hack. Increases offensive abilities of friendly turrets, level 3 allows him to hack an enemy turret and cause it to switch teams.[[note]] Upgrades decrease time required to hack.[[/note]]
->Skill 2: Firebase: Deployable gun turret.[[note]] Level 2 increases firepower, level 3 adds healing for all nearby friendly Pros. Can be hacked, requires time to deploy.[[/note]]
->Skill 3: Airstrike Beacon: Thrown projectile that calls a missile strike from directly above whatever it lands on. [[note]] Upgrades increase damage, blast radius, and allow it to be used with less and less of it's meter recharged. Usually a OneHitKill to any Pro in it's radius, bridges tend to block it. It is a thrown projectile and will stick to Pros or Bots if the beacon hits them.[[/note]]
->Passive Skill: Level 2 increases health recovery rate and adds a bot-strengthening aura, level 3 increases defense.
->Spawned Bots: Gapshot x1

* BluntMetaphorsTrauma: One of his defining character traits.
-->'''Support''': "Oh! I have an axe to the grindstone now!"
* CombatMedic: Much like [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 another combat medic]], he can also overheal anything that's friendly.
* DeathFromAbove: Airstrike beacons, which call a powerful missile onto whatever they land on.
* TheEngineer: Overlaps with his combat medic status as his healing shiv works on friendly turrets as well.
* {{Expy}}: Admit it. You've been waiting for him to say [[SuperMarioBros "mama mia"]], [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 "I told you not to touch that darn thing,"]] and [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 "zat vas doctor-assisted homicide"]] since you first played as him!
* GratuitousItalian: Grazi!
* HealingShiv: Heal/Hurt Gun.
* HollywoodHacking: Justified in that it's part of the sport.
* MovesetClone: The Ryu to Combat Girl's Ken with more a powerful turret and heal/hurt gun but less turrets/beams.
* SentryGun / TheTurretMaster: The Firebase skill.
* ShortRangeShotgun: Secondary weapon, exaggerated as shots vanish harmlessly into the air just a few meters from the barrel.
* StatusBuff: He can overheal any friendly target (other than Jackbots) to 150% health and with an upgraded passive skill any bots (yet again: except Jackbots) near him are 50% stronger.
* StickyBomb: Airstrike beacons stick to whatever they hit.
* UselessUsefulSpell: Hacking an enemy turret. It was outright overpowered when the game was initially released, but the nerfing of it makes it near-impossible to pull off. Chances are that if the situation presents itself to you, your teammates are going to bust the enemy's moneyball before you can complete the process: assuming your allied pros or bots don't destroy the turret first! Under most circumstances, the turret or other nearby foes will kill you before you can complete the hack.
** This is probably why it was removed in ''Super Monday Night Combat'' -- the Support actually has a new taunt where he tries to hack into a turret but finds he no longer has the equipment for it.

!! The Assassin
->Voiced by: Kimberly Bogardus

The enigmatic, stealthy, blindingly fast, and very untalkative pro who is a ninja for all intents and purposes.Her primary roles are clearing out bots and hitting hazards before anyone else can: making her very effective in Blitz mode. While she ''can'' assassinate pros, she's usually outmatched on an even playing field so it's generally unwise to go after any pro that isn't especially vulnerable. Notable in her ability to grapple Jackbots, though slashing them is generally a wiser idea unless they ''need'' to be paralyzed.

->Primary: Dagger / Sword[[note]] Altfire is a grapple, sharing cooldown with the shuriken launcher grapple but dealing greater damage. Use from behind a Pro to deal even more damage.[[/note]]
->Secondary: Shuriken Launcher: Has little damage dropoff, the shurikens themselves have travel time.
->Skill 1: Dash: Upgrades increase speed and decrease how fast the meter depletes.
->Skill 2: Cloak: Upgrades decrease time before cloaking, effectiveness, depletion, and level 3 allows regeneration while not moving.
->Skill 3: Smokebomb: Blinds pros briefly, stuns bots/turrets. Upgrades increases radius and recovery rate.
->Passive Skill: Level 2 increases shuriken launcher magazine size and decreases fall damage, level 3 eliminates fall damage completely and replaces the dagger with a sword.
->Special: Reload button triggers a lunge attack with the dagger or sword equipped.
->Spawned Bots: [[DemonicSpiders Gremlin]] x4

* ActionGirl
* BackStab: Her dagger/sword grapple deals much more damage from behind a pro.
* BloodKnight: Her bio states that as much as she hates just about everything else about her job, she ''really'' likes killing people.
* CherryTapping: Grappling with her Shuriken Launcher from behind. It does less damage than grappling from behind with a dagger/sword, which is obviously preferable to do... aside from the funny grapple animation of the Shuriken Launcher which consists of slapping your target repeatedly, which is even funnier when they die from it.
* CoolMask
* DeflectorShields: An odd case, she takes only a tiny fraction of normal damage while in her smokebomb animation. It can even cancel out a charge from an Assault or Tank.
* TheFaceless: Played with, especially in the Spunky Cola trailer. She removes her mask to chug a can of Spunky, but just so happens to be facing away from the camera.
* FlechetteStorm: Her shuriken launcher, especially with rate of fire endorsement.
%%* FragileSpeedster
* GlassCannon: Her grapples HURT, and she's one of the only two characters that can grapple Jackbots. However, her armor is minimal.
* InASingleBound: She can leap to a good seven meters in the air if she jumps immediately after using her smokebomb.
* InvisibilityCloak: One of her skills.
* JigglePhysics: Subverted. The Assassin is at least a D-cup yet clearly wears appropriate undergarments so the only jiggling seen with her is her ponytail.
-->The Assault, after killing an Assassin: "Hold on, ''the Assassin is a chick?'' How did I miss ''that''?"
* KatanasAreJustBetter: It's probably a tachi, but details...
* KnifeNut: Her starting primary weapon is a dagger, seemingly a kunai.
* {{Ninja}}: Fulfills just about every expectation the word would imply.
* PinballProjectile: Shurikens bounce until they leave the arena or hit an enemy target.
* TheSpeechless / TheVoiceless: MNC's scientists aren't certain whether the Assassin ''can'' talk (though her ''SMNC'' bio confirms she's silent by choice), but she can be heard giving the occasional giggle or grunt.
* SmokeOut: Her smokebomb skill.
* SwordDrag: During her lunge attack.
* [[VisibleInvisibility Visible, Noisy Cloak]]: The cloak is always audible to allies and enemies alike, the invisibility effect is weaker while moving faster. Dashing while cloaked adds very distinct steps that really give it away, avoid doing so. [=ShaveIce=] turrets disrupt the cloak tremendously.

!! The Gunner
->Voiced by: David Frederick White

A calm, almost timid Hawaiian clone, the Gunner usually allows his weapons to speak volumes for him. But he'll still let out the occasional snark comment like the other pros. Gameplay-wise, the Gunner fills an odd collection of niches in that he's extremely effective against enemy Pros with his minigun(s) but lacks efficient short-range methods to clear bots.

->Primary: Minigun: Deals peerless damage to Pros.[[note]]Requires time to spin up before reaching full rate of fire, suffers from lengthy reload time, and has a speed penalty for use unless you're in the air. Becomes a ''dual'' minigun with full upgrades. Altfire pre-spins the gun, much like [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 a certain large Russian]] does with his own beloved gun.[[/note]]
->Secondary: Mortar: Arced explosive weapon which is fairly effective against bots and pros and absolutely annihilates turrets, but is both dangerous and difficult to use at short distances.
->Skill 1: Slam: Deals damage and stuns anything in its shockwave range.[[note]] Is completely fatal if the Gunner lands directly on top of a bot or pro. Upgrades increase shockwave damage, shockwave range, and decrease recharge time.[[/note]]
->Skill 2: Deploy: Has the same base functions as the Tank's version. [[note]] Upgrades increase CriticalHit rate and level 3 adds a head shield to make headshots from a Sniper deal regular damage. Notably glitched on the 360 version, as Deploy level 3 actually has a ''lower'' critical hit rate than Deploy level 2 currently.[[/note]]
->Skill 3: Grapple: An upgradable grapple that is independent of the grapple associated with the mortar.
->Passive Skill: Level 2 causes mortar rounds to split in two, level 3 increases the split to three and turns the minigun into a ''dual'' minigun.
->Spawned Bots: [[SmashMook Bouncer]] x1

* ArtificialLimbs: Does he even have any that are normal? We don't know.
* TheBigGuy: Though the artificial limbs imply [[WildMassGuessing he may be a midget, amputee, both, or was cloned wrong]], he's definitely a big guy.
* BruiserWithASoftCenter
* ControllableHelplessness: Experienced by victims of his Slam skill.
* GoombaStomp: Slam skill, scripted kill with a unique effect if the Gunner lands directly on an enemy below.
* GroundPound: Slam skill.
* JetPack: Functions identically to the Tank's.
* JiveTurkey: [[TropesAreNotBad A sinister example, brah!]]
* MightyGlacier
* MoreDakka: Minigun not cutting it? Upgrade your passive to level 3 for a ''dualie!''
* NiceGuy
* PoweredArmor
* ShockwaveStomp: Slam skill.
* ShouldersOfDoom
* StoutStrength: With DNA from a champion sumo wrestler and the 1988 Washington Redskins offensive line, it's to be expected. He may be a little sensitive about his weight, though - he doesn't like shopping for pants, after all.
* SurferDude: His Dual Minigun taunt actually has him use it as a board. "Dude, brah!"
* TheTurretMaster: Just like the Tank, he ''becomes'' a turret with his Deploy skill.

!! The Sniper
->Voiced by: David Frederick White

Certainly not [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 professional]] but definitely skilled, the Sniper...[[CaptainObvious snipes.]] Extremely arrogant, he believes himself to be the most important member of the team and won't hesitate to make absolutely certain that ''everyone knows it.'' Gameplay-wise his abilities unfortunately promote camping even more so than other snipers in other games. That are more professional. Peculiarly, both of the Sniper's grapples can be used against Jackbots and each deal exactly 50% damage to them in Crossfire.

->Primary: Sniper Rifle: Very inaccurate without using the scope, pixel perfect accuracy when scoped even for a split-second via altfire.[[note]] Headshots on pros tend to be [[OneHitKill fatal]], but most bots require multiple headshots to take down. Don't even ''think'' of using bodyshots against bots: you're just CherryTapping that way.[[/note]]
->Secondary: SMG: For all intents and purposes, an inferior version of the Assault's primary.
->Skill 1: Flak: An AreaOfEffect grenade that is effective at suppression, building juice, and holding a moneyball down. [[note]] Upgrades increase damage and radius. Careful; it hurts it's user too.[[/note]]
->Skill 2: Traps: Deals no damage, but significantly slows pros and bots in its radius. [[note]] Level 2 adds a freezing effect that paralyzes, level 3 causes it to drain skills as well.[[/note]]
->Skill 3: Grapple: Very similar to the Gunner's grapple skill, but usable on Jackbots.[[note]] Upgrades do not affect damage to Jackbots.[[/note]]
->Passive Skill: Sniper rifle upgrade.[[note]] Level 2 adds infinite piercing ability, level 3 adds explosive splash damage.[[/note]]
->Spawned Bots: [[GoddamnedBats Scrambler]] x2

* CatchPhrase: HECK YEAH!
* GangstaStyle: How he fires his SMG, probably to absorb the recoil
* GlassCannon: ''The'' lowest health in ''SMNC'', but insane damage potential.
* HumanPopsicle: Traps cause this if the skill has been upgraded.
* InsufferableGenius
* {{Jerkass}}: It's hard to find a quote from him where he ''isn't'' being a total douche.
* LandmineGoesClick: His Traps.
* MostWonderfulSound: DING! Headshot!
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: Somewhat; he looks like a scrawny Creator/JeanReno, and his stocking cap specifically brings to mind ''Film/TheProfessional''
* OneHitKill: In ''MNC'', headshots were usually this against pros. ''SMNC'' nerfed this dramatically -- now both pros and bots take many headshots to put away.
* OneHitPolyKill: His rifle rounds have infinite piercing ability once his passive skill is upgraded to level 2, but obviously not through parts of terrain.
* PrettyLittleHeadshots: There is no blood in the game at all, so headshots have a very satisfying DING sound instead of a visual payoff.
* TheScrappy: In-universe; he's the only player in league history to receive 0 fan votes for an all-star game, and his restaurant was so unpopular it closed after three days in business.
* [[CaptainObvious Sniper Rifle]]
* [[CaptainObvious The Sniper]]
* SplashDamageAbuse: Explosive, multiple target-penetrating sniper rounds that explode ''again'' on every enemy target they strike? Pretty abusive.
* [[StopHavingFunGuys Stop Having Fun Guy]]: ''At least someone else on this team is doing their job!''
* ThisLoserIsYou: The Sniper is a grating, egotistical wimp. He was cloned primarily from the DNA of professional gamers. You do the math.
* TrapMaster: His traps, obviously.
* UnflinchingWalk: Averted in his action hero taunt. When the slow-mo explosion occurs, he stifles forward and drops his gun.

!!Combat Girl
->Voiced by: Kimberly Bogardus

See the Pit Girl down there? Read that, then come back. The Combat Girl is a Pit Girl put on the field of play with her own assortment of weapons and gadgets. She occupies a role similar to the Support, but is generally better suited to miltitasking.

->Primary: Combat Healer: Similar to the Support's Heal/Hurt Gun.[[note]] The Combat Healer can target up to five pros/bots in front of Combat Girl; unfortunately, it does its job 40% less efficiently than the Heal/Hurt Gun.[[/note]]
->Secondary: Nail Gun: High-accuracy rapid-fire weapon that hits instantly and has a magazine size of 15. Unfortunately, it suffers from very noticeable damage falloff, even dealing damage in wimpy single digits at some distances.[[note]] Alt fire: A grapple in which Combat Girl whacks her opponent with the gun, twice.[[/note]]
->Skill 1: Fortify
->Skill 2: Combat Kitty
->Skill 3: Combat Laser
->Note: None of the Pros in Super Monday Night Combat have Passive Skills specific to each Pro, said Passive Skills being replaced by upgrades to Attack and Defense. Also, in SMNC, Bots are no longer spawned by specific Pros, but by special Bot Spawns.

* AttentionDeficitOohShiny:
-->'''Combat Girl:''' Hah! And they said I had AD... Hey, is that a beachball on the field?
* CombatMedic
* TheEngineer
* GenkiGirl
* KamehameHadoken: Her Combat Laser is one of these.
* HealingShiv: She has her own version of the Heal/Hurt Gun, which can be used on several different allies or enemies at once.
* MovesetClone: The Ken to The Support's Ryu with weaker turrets and heal/hurt gun but more turrets/beams.
* PaletteSwap: Of Pit Girl, and justified as they're all clones.
* TheTurretMaster: Unlike the Support with his Firebase, she can lay down up to four Combat Kitties at a time.
* WaveMotionGun: The Combat Laser
* WeakTurretGun: Combat Kitties are very weak and don't directly benefit from upgrades
* WrenchWench: In-game, as well as in her bio.

->Voiced by: Chelsea Binta

Clone of a famous western girl with a rifle and a pair of pistols known respectively as the "Love Gun" and "Hate Gun." Unlike the sniper, she doesn't have a scope, but gains a damage bonus with every headshot she lands on an enemy. Also capable of kneecapping nearby enemy pros to slow them down, or clearing the path in front of her with a rapid-firing technique.

* AbnormalAmmo: Whatever is in the Hate Gun, it's this.
* GlassCannon: Has slightly more health than the Sniper and like him has extreme damage potential
* GunsAkimbo: Her pistols.
* TheGunslinger: Duh.
* ICallItVera: Her rifle, Lucinda
* StandardStatusEffects: Kneecap causes a '''Slow''' effect

->Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse

A clone of pro wrestling legend Victor "The Veteran" Lisowski, the Veteran is a mountainous man with insane physical might and a strange animal magnetism about him. Famed for his mic skills, his boasts and threats being considered psychological warfare, he's an intense competitor who really knows how to get inside the other team's collective head. From a gameplay perspective, his abilities revolve around getting close to the enemy (or getting the enemy close to him) so he can perform a punishing grapple attack.

* {{Acrofatic}}: Although he uses his jetpack for jumping, he's extremely quick for someone his size and like everyone with a melee weapon is capable of a speedy forward roll
* AnimalMotifs: Eagles.
* CripplingOverspecialization: The Veteran is built almost ENTIRELY around grappling, with two of his skills utilizing the technique to deal damage (as well as the third being used almost entirely to get an enemy Pro in position to grapple them), as well as the standard grapple ability available to all pros. This makes him incredibly lethal against other Pros when used in ambush... but virtually useless against most bots, who are immune to any form of grappling, and easily countered by most non-Commando Pros in a straight up fight.
* FanDisservice: He has his own version of the Combatgirl's "Hi, Boys" taunt. The stated intention of this was to make players throw up in their mouths a little.
* FatBastard: Though this may just be his ring persona.
* FoeTossingCharge: Freight Train skill, almost literally.
* ImprobableWeaponUser: His melee weapon is "The Hot Seat", a stool covered in spikes. It's probably supposed to represent the ultimate evolution of pro wrestling's staple foreign object -- the [[ChairmanOfTheBrawl folding chair]].
* JetPack: Essentially the same as the Tank's and Gunner's.
* MightyGlacier
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: Between his build, his mask, and his mic skills, he's basically Vader.
* TrashTalk
* ShouldersOfDoom: His left shoulderpad is absolutely massive.
* StoutStrength: Even heftier than the Gunner and the Tank, and much more physically oriented.
* WrestlerInAllOfUs

!!Captain Spark
->Voiced by: Micheal Bils

Famous racecar driver by day, electric-powered, eel-trained superhero by night. Captain Spark is similar to the Assassin except he can teleport in a flash of light instead of jumping out of a cloud of smoke.

* CaptainErsatz: Physically, he bears a great resemblance to ComicBook/TheRocketeer
%%* FlashStep
%%* FragileSpeedster, with a side of GlassCannon.
%%* LargeHam
%%* LaserBlade
* PungeonMaster: He ''really'' loves puns, especially electricity-related ones.
%%* ShockAndAwe
* StandardStatusEffect: Megahurtz '''Blind'''s enemies
%%* {{Superhero}}

->Voiced by: Ron Hippe

The only survivor of 12 reconnaissance cyborgs sent to infiltrate the lawless Outlander society, Karl is unwavering in his conviction that he is 100% human -- despite being to all appearances 100% robot. Being designed by the elite overclass who don't really get out all that much means he has the mannerisms of a Connecticut old money sophisticate. Virulently hateful of robots. Despite all this, the producers of SMNC bought him at a tent sale.

Karl is played similarly to the Assault in that he's suited to virtually any role needed, but he has greater burst damage capabilities and a powerful stun.

* ActionBomb: Junior
* FantasticRacism: "Kill the robots first!"
* HiddenDepths: Several of his lines are oddly spiritual or philosophical.
* HighClassGlass
* HughMann: He talks about being human constantly, and as far as anyone can tell believes every word of it.
* InASingleBound: the Prop Hop skill
* InterspeciesRomance: Used to be in one; his supermodel ex-wife claims "fraud" and "irreconcilable anatomical differences" are the reasons their relationship fell apart.
* JackOfAllStats
* RobotBuddy: His little pal Junior
* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: His speech is at an odd middle ground between this and RoboSpeak; he doesn't use big words per se, but he seems to use dictionary definitions in place of words
-->'''Karl:''' Could anyone go for a disc-shaped segment of bread with tomato sauce, cheese, and other various toppings?
-->'''Karl:''' Ugh. I am in definite need of a liquid comprised of the fermentation of starches after this!
* SophisticatedAsHell
* StandardStatusEffects: Short Circuit '''Stun'''s enemies in a small area
* ThatMakesMeFeelAngry: "I am ''shocked'' by this turn of events!"

!!Sir Cheston Whyndam Kampanga
->Voiced by: James Caddell

A clone of a famous gorilla actor who starred in everything from local theater productions to the televised "Meet the Meatsacks." Cheston wears a fancy suit and carries a large tommy gun with him into battle, yet has special techniques that force him to unleash his baser instincts, like slamming the ground repeatedly, dropping bananas or throwing flaming barrels at opponents.

* BananaPeel: The alternate fire for his Primary Weapon.
* BarefootCartoonAnimal
* CheatersNeverProsper: Subverted.
-->'''Cheston:''' "I would rather die a thousand honorable deaths than to win by cheating...much."
* CombatMedic: His Roar skill heals nearby allies somewhat, making him invaluable in team fights.
* [[EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys Everything Is Better With Gorillas]]
* ExplodingBarrels: In an obvious nod to Donkey Kong, Cheston can roll these at enemies.
* TheEeyore: Cheston originally died of depression before he was cloned, and speaks of life negatively.
-->'''Cheston:''' "In a world of such iniquity...how can dying be anything...but a source of gain."
* HighClassGlass
* LargeHam: Being a high-class actor, Cheston is one to speak with a certain eloquence and grace, use a lot of long pauses, and even break into opera.
-->'''Cheston:''' (Activating Juice) "Feel the full measure...of my WRATH!"
* MaleGaze:
-->'''Cheston:''' "Good lord...the Pit Girl's hind quarters are as smooth as an eel!"
* MightyGlacier: Rampage turns him into a Lightning Bruiser, though.
* MoreDakka: His weapon is, technically, a Thompson submachine gun -- the infamous "Tommy gun." But it has three huge barrels, and it's scaled up to gorilla size besides that. It's got such crazy recoil that sustained fire causes its spread to grow exponentially
* ScreamingWarrior
* SophisticatedAsHell
* StatusBuff: Roar grants '''Haste''' to Cheston and nearby allies, increasing their movement speed for a few seconds.
* TheBerserker: Via the Rampage ability
* ThrowABarrelAtIt: In what is probably a ShoutOut to the original VideoGame/DonkeyKong.
* WagTheDirector: He's kind of a prima donna on the battlefield, making some outrageous demands.
-->'''Cheston:''' "Hold you fire, everyone! My assistant will be on the field soon, with my low-fat zucchini muffin."
-->'''Cheston:''' "I don't mean to be intolerable, but...I believe my contract specifies an indoor temperature of 23 degrees Celsius."
* WarriorPoet

->Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse

Once upon a time, there was an obsessive Monday Night Combat fan named Frank Deerford who watched every single match that he possibly could and had multiple posters of Bullseye and other MNC characters adorning his room. He always dialed up a MNC live call-in radio show hosted by Mickey Cantor and Bullseye and prayed for the one day when he could talk to them. Then one fateful birthday, he managed to get through for a few brief seconds before Bullseye cut him off and laughed at him over the air. The next day, Frank's psyche snapped as he tore off all the posters of Bullseye from his room, stitched together a fake Bullseye costume, and entered into the Super MNC contest with a personal mission to kill every Bullseye that appeared.

The Wascot has a gun that fires exploding fake coins and poisoned bacon at his opponents, but also has abilities that can debuff nearby opponents.

* {{Acrofatic}}: Where the Veteran is husky, Wascot is just plain flabby. His lunge is very acrobatic, and like Bullseye he's a great breakdancer.
* BrokenPedestal: To Bullseye, [[StalkerWithACrush more or less.]]
* CarvedMark: In one throwaway Announcer line, he states that he carved Bulleye's name into his thigh.
* CloudCuckoolander: One of his lines [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment is a completely random]] remark about lycanthropic mermaid babies. He has a few others, too.
* ConspiracyTheorist: Judging by a few of his lines. Then again, [[CrapsackWorld considering the world that Monday Night Combat takes place in...]]
* FanDisservice: Like Bullseye, he's a pudgy man in a tight-fitting costume. Unlike Bullseye, his costume involves fishnet stockings.
** His "Manbaby" costume is even worse, baring his legs and arms and putting him in a diaper. Eugh.
%%* FragileSpeedster
* GrapplingHookPistol: Crook Hook is essentially this, only without the "pistol."
* HighlyVisibleNinja: This sets him apart from other Commando units, such as Captain Spark and Assassin.
%%* LoonyFan
* PoisonMushroom: Basically the MO of his Coin Launcher.
%%* PsychopathicManchild
* StalkerWithACrush: to Bullseye; according to "Ask the Wascot" he's also stalking at least one young girl who sent him a fan letter.
* SpikesOfVillainy: Blunted ones on his shoulderpads -- oh, and a big one on his helmet (though the latter is probably foam since it's part of a mascot head)
* {{Yandere}}: Again, to Bullseye. [[FatalAttraction He won't be ignored.]]

->Voiced by: Rina Hoshino

The greatest champion in the history of Indo-China's Most Pleasing and Melodious Crushing of Windpipes Like Reeds Underfoot in a Soft, Snowy Riverbank Federation, Megabeth is a roller derby themed pro equipped with a rocket launcher who signed on to Monday Night Combat after an interleague friendly in which she killed the Assault, the Assassin, the Veteran, the Sniper, and the Gunslinger without being killed once. In her spare time, she's the lead singer of feminist tribal-acid grindcore band Hacksaw Circumcision.

Like the Assault and Karl, she can play virtually any role in a game.

* ActionGirl
* BareYourMidriff: Interestingly, ''both'' of her devil-themed uniforms cover it up.
* BunnyEarsLawyer: A zaibatsu entrepreneur, grindcore band member and SMNC pro.
* CombatSadomasochist: Megabeth sometimes giggles like an excited schoolgirl when taking damage. It seems to trigger fairly often when she's being ''impaled'' by the assassin's katana.
* DeathFromAbove: A common tactic is to use her laser guiding system to drive rockets straight into the ground
* GirlOnGirlIsHot: Became an instant star thanks to her intensity, fearlessness, and rumored make out sessions with Combat Girl, according to her in-game bio.
* TheGogglesDoNothing
* IKnowMaddenKombat: Roller Derby, as noted above; "Shoot the Moon" is an actual skating maneuver, no less.
* JackOfAllStats: Comes with the territory as a Striker, and arguably the game's best example. Both of her weapons are moderately useful at any range but inferior to specialized weapons in terms of damage, one is HitScan while the other is projectile based, she has a short-range skill, a long-range skill, and a basic speed buff, and her damage, speed, and health are average.
* MetalScream: Lets loose one at the end of her purchasable "My Band Name" taunt.
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: Her backstory is based on Ichiro Suzuki, a Japanese baseball player who impressed the MLB so much in an exhibition series between American and Japanese all-stars that he was playing in the US shortly afterwards.
* PinballProjectile: Both the ball bearing gun and the Derby Disku
* RealMenWearPink: While Megabeth is a woman, she's also a gladiator and a grindcore vocalist; one of her listed "likes" is MyLittlePony
* {{Roboteching}}: Using her laser guiding system, you can put those rockets anywhere you want.
* RollerbladeGood
* StandardStatusEffect: Derby Disku '''Slow'''s enemy pros and '''Stun'''s enemy bots and turrets.
* YouNoTakeCandle: Her English is very rough
-->'''Megabeth''': Art is a thing that is dead presently.

->Voiced by: Brandon Felker

A direct clone of Creator/LeonardoDaVinci, Leo was brought to life by the Hyphus Group, a clandestine organization of powerful individuals working to better society. Though it was hoped that his brilliant mind would provide invaluable scientific and artistic insight on the modern world, Leo instead became a reclusive couch potato, glued to his television for days on end -- and growing particularly fascinated with Monday Night Combat. He broke from this haze only to draw up designs for the armor, weapons, and strategies that would make him the next pro superstar of the world's greatest spectacle.

Gameplay wise, Leo is about controlling the bot lanes by buffing allied bot waves and stealing enemy bots. His turret allows players to go back to spawn in emergencies, but Leo players typically use it when they want to buy bot waves.

* ActionBomb: The Adoration of the AI ability turns enemy bots into these
* BadassBookworm
* BadassGrandpa: He's wrinkled and balding, with grayish white hair and a voice like a mummy with throat cancer. He also has a giant crossbow the size of his entire upper body and a laser mounted on his wrist.
* {{BFG}}: His Balestra, the aforementioned crossbow, can be considered one
* ChargedAttack: Of a sort; his heal is charged as he does damage with his laser, and it's only appreciably effective on a full charge.
* CombatMedic: Moreso than the Support or the Combatgirl, because his healing is powered by dealing damage with his primary weapon.
* CoolBoard: His "ball-board", a strange mix between a skateboard and a Segway. It's a basketball-sized sphere with a grooved board balanced on top of it. Leo actually does a number of skateboard tricks on it in his taunts and grapple.
* TheEngineer
* GadgeteerGenius: According to his bio, he has applied for 2,307 patents since being cloned, and both designed and built all of his combat gear.
* {{Hikkikomori}}
* IKnowMaddenKombat: In his grapple, Leo kicks his board-ball at his opponent and headbutts it into their gut as if it were a soccer ball. He claims to have invented several high-level soccer tricks.
* InsufferableGenius: Leo ''never'' stops talking about his intelligence and achievements, and most of the time he directly addresses enemy ''or'' allied pros, it's with open condescension and disdain.
* TheMinionMaster: After a fashion, with two abilities respectively based on buffing bots and turning enemy bots into allies. Leo players tend to get more kills with spawned, buffed, or turned bots than otherwise.
* NotQuiteFlight: His wings allow him to glide.
* ShoutOut:
** His bio includes among his "likes" [[Franchise/AssassinsCreed secret societies]] and [[Literature/TheDaVinciCode word scrambles]].
** He hints at a vendetta against "that hack Creator/DanBrown."
* SpreadShot: The Balestra fires three bolts, giving Leo some much-needed crowd control power outside the bot lanes -- not to mention a great panic weapon for when he's cornered.
* SquishyWizard: His abilities are powerful, but he has low health compared to the other Defenders and typically loses against enemy pros in a straight confrontation.
* StatusBuff: Bot Code-X is essentially a '''Haste''' for nearby bots, increasing their movement speed and their attack speed for the duration.

->Voiced by: Adrienne Maclain

A French native of the lawless Outland, Artemis is an incredibly skilled archer mutated by radiation. Extremely violent and confrontational in temperament, her time surviving in the Outland has left her with a taste for human flesh and a talent with taming wild animals. Her abilities revolve around hunting down opponents, debuffing them, and focusing team fire on particular enemies during teamfights.

* AttackAnimal: Biological Warfare; Foie Gras is also an animal, but it's used directly as a weapon rather than being sicced on enemies.
* BattleBoomerang: Notably, it passes through pros and bots, yet still damages them.
* TheBeastmaster: Her secondary weapon (Foie Gras) and her Biological Warfare skill both see her using "Outland creatures" in combat, though they don't appear to be willing pets per se.
* BoomerangComeback: It flies in a straight line and comes back to you wherever you are; it does damage on the trip back, too. It comes back immediately if it hits a wall.
* BottomlessMagazines: This is more notable than with other classes because she clearly has a certain number of arrows in her quiver. Also, her bow is the only non-melee weapon that can be fired forever without any need to reload.
* ChargedAttack: Zooming in with her bow makes her charge the shot for more damage as long as you aren't firing.
* EgomaniacHunter: "You do not deserve to die by my hand!"
* EnergyBow: The string and the arrows are energy, at least.
* FrenchJerk: She's up there with the Sniper and Leo as far as being an ass is concerned.
* GlassCannon with a little bit of SquishyWizard thrown in.
* HardLight: Her arrows
* HuntingTheMostDangerousGame: One of her hobbies, though you could argue it's already her job.
* ImAHumanitarian
* ImprobableUseOfAWeapon: She uses her arrows as knives in all of her grapples.
* InTheHood: To hide part of her mutated face
* MasterPoisoner: ''Radiation'' poisoning, to be specific.
* NoArcInArchery: Justified -- the arrows are made of solid light, and as such probably don't weigh anything.
* PostApunkalypticArmor: The first pro to be an actual Outlander by birth, one of her shoulderpads is an animal skull and her bow appears to be partially made of bone.
* SkeletonsInTheCoatCloset
* StandardStatusEffect: Irradiate is basically a '''Poison'''; Biological Warfare features '''Slow''' and '''Silence''' effects.

!!Robo Hobo
->Voiced by: Howard Mostrom

Formally Robo MC Fun of the robotic hip hop group "Robo MC Fun and the Funky Three Plus One," his career ended before the group even finished their first nationwide tour. When the tour bus was reposed, leaving the group stranded on the wrong U.S. coast, they had to take to the rails. His weapons and skills are music based.

* AutoTune: His voice is provided by a person using a talk box.
* CyberCyclops
* DanceBattler: His grapple attack is a breakdance where he repeatedly kicks his opponent.
* DetachmentCombat
* GaleForceSound
* {{Hobo}}
* MightyGlacier
* TheMinionMaster: One of his skills spawns waves of "Cassette bots" that seek after enemy Pros and higher level bots.
* MusicalAssassin
* OneHitPolykill: A strange example with his primary weapon, in that it is a slow moving projectile that only stops after a certain range or until it hits a wall.
* PullingThemselvesTogether: Falls apart when he dies. So it might count when he respawns in one piece again.
* RecoilBoost: His Sound Blast can propel him in the direction opposite of where he's facing when used in the air.
* ShortRangeShotgun: His Blunderbuss-esque secondary weapon, which is perfectly accurate (and powerful) at pointblank range, but does literally no damage beyond that. It would be justified, being that it's a soundwave, but seeing that his primary, which works on the same concept, works at farther ranges, it smacks of FridgeLogic.
* ShoutOut: Transformers, obviously
** One of his taunts has him [[Film/SayAnything holding a boombox over his head.]]
* StandardStatusEffect: Ghetto Blaster is a boombox that causes '''Slow''' on any enemy pro or bots that get close to it. Additionally, his Sound Blast '''Stuns''' enemy bots.
* TheUnintelligible: No reference to him being this in universe, but a lot of players are having trouble understanding him through the robotic voice filters.


[[folder: The Staff]]

!! Pit Girl
->Voiced by: Kimberly Bogardus

The chipper, buxom, tech savvy cheerleader of Monday Night Combat. Pitgirl doesn't take a direct involvement in matches, but rather encourages her team's members and informs them of important things like the condition of the moneyball...And how much she likes any turret or bot you buy. No one can say why, but Pitgirl has quite a bit of spite for the Assassin.

* AllLoveIsUnrequited - Pit Girl has a crush on the Tank, but unfortunately his unawareness of this fact and his insecurity do nothing to help.
* UsefulNotes/AmericanAccents: [[DeepSouth Dixie]]
* AnnouncerChatter - Pit Girl offers encouragement at spawn, comments about the player's current class, and chit-chat when spawning a unique bot or turret.
* AscendedExtra - A clone using her DNA build named Combat Girl will be available for use in Super Monday Night Combat.
* GogglesDoNothing
* JigglePhysics: [[NotDistractedByTheSexy Her hair]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint is jiggleboned]].[[note]] Oh right, did we mention her DD rack and curvaceous ass?[[/note]]
* MsFanservice - Both in her in-game role and in the world of Monday Night Combat.
* {{Stripperiffic}}: Tight top with an ''epic'' CleavageWindow and Daisy Dukes? Damn straight she's Stripperiffic!
* TheCheerleader - A non-evil example, although she's not afraid to bitch about the Assassin.
* WrenchWench: Borders on being an informed trait, as she's never seen actually doing anything other than cheering at any point beyond the game's tutorial and a few pieces of artwork on the official site.

!! Mickey Cantor

->Voiced by: Rodney Sherwood

The veteran announcer for the sport, Mickey Cantor makes a living being MNC's John Madden. Except everyone hates him to the point of having had several attempts on his life: two of which were successful.

* AnnouncerChatter - Mickey talks about the combat going on in the arena, even if it doesn't relate to the player. He'll also alert players to Bullseye's appearances and when the Annihilator's available, and badger the player to upgrade their skills.
* LargeHamAnnouncer: Mickey Cantor and his wide range of lines: from advertising to personal comments to snarky remarks about a Pro's demise, and so on.
* BreakingTheFourthWall - Mickey has an administrator account on the official MNC forums, where he chips in occasionally.
* CatchPhrase - Hi-Ho!
* CombatCommentator
* GladIThoughtOfIt: Occasionally claims kills from pros to be ''copyright Mickey Cantor Enterprises'' immediately after praising the kill.
* PutOnABus: Due to Mickey's voice actor not being able to voice him again for contract reasons, it's stated that Mickey "escaped" and now he's replaced with two new announcers for Super Monday Night Combat.
* UnusualEuphemism - Fond of shouting "What the what?" Any swears he does make are [[SoundEffectBleep censor beeped.]]
* YourMom - Played with in one of his lines, where he claims your mom called in and said to upgrade your skills, then states that no, really, she did.

!! GG Stack
->Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse

One of the two announcers in ''Super Monday Night Combat''. GG Stack is a dry, mild-mannered play-by-play announcer who likes to remind the audience of the rules of play -- and note that they change often.

* AscendedMeme: GG describing Assassin's respawns as "Like a magic fart" is based on a meme from Super MNC's early days during the Invitational, where fans would describe her new Leap ability (Which leaves a large cloud of smoke in the place she leaps from) as "The Magic Fart."
* CasanovaWannabe: To make a long story short he's gone through seventy-three marriages and counting, four of which he divorced [[UpToEleven in the same morning.]] One of his ex-wives, Shelly, also has a column where she recounts embarrassing anecdotes from his past.
* CatchPhrase: "The rules have changed!"
* CombatCommentator: As with Mickey, he and Chip are among the most literal expressions of the trope
* {{Jerkass}}: During Super Blitz, in which he constantly laughs at you, insists you won't be getting to *insert wave here*, and is basically out to make your night a living hell. He's actually FORCED to let you use the Annihilator.
* NakedPeopleAreFunny: Had what is hoped to be a brief fling with nudism, claiming "I want nothing between me and God but the sky." Chip makes very clear he is uncomfortable with it, and wants GG to at least show mental discipline around [[MsFanservice Pit Girl]].
* SeriousBusiness: Got three people killed during a three-legged race at an SMNC Employee Picnic because he really wanted a $25 gift certificate to the Candle Barrel.
* StraightMan: But he's not above being his own kind of wacky or pathetic from time to time.
* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: When GG asks Chip for a recommendation for a Halloween costume, Chip recommends "A fully actualized individual without the need for constant approval driven by self hatred and ''malignant narcissism?''"

!! Chip Valvano

->Voiced by: Ron Hippe

The other half of the announcing duo in ''SMNC''. Chip is a legendary former competitor, and as such has firsthand experience with almost every element of the game. He's a fun-loving guy, but not a very intelligent one.

* CaptainObvious: When he ''really'' has no idea what to say, he'll state the most obvious facts of the matter and leave it at that.
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Sometimes he dramatically misunderstands what GG is asking him about -- a question about avoiding banana peels yields an answer about staying out of South America and being wary in the produce section.
** Another example is when GG gives the classic "Who from history, dead or alive, would you eat dinner with?" His first response is him making sure they're alive, because eating dinner with corpses is unpleasant. The second time he's asked he decides upon his wife and neighbors, because his neighbors came back from visiting their grand-kids and he wants to hear how it went.
* ConvenienceStoreGiftShopping: In honor of them commentating together for the last five years, GG bought Chip ivory cuff-links with engravings because he saw Chip admiring his at a wedding. Chip bought GG a humorous card about vegetarianism from the novelty shop, which he was going to anyway.
* CrazyPrepared: Owns a Riot-Resistant Mobile Broadcasting suit in case sponsors want them to go cover company-endorsed riots.
* HumiliationConga: His preferred method of relaxing after a game is to take three or so losing team members and laying on them like a plywood board on top of logs. He would then ride them like a make-shift cart out to the river, where they will drift him to sea.
* IWarnedYou: Advised Juice Bot to lube up with herbicide before [[ItMakesSenseInContext going out with that pear.]] Juice Bot has brown rot now.
* {{Jerkass}}: Tricked GG into thinking he was about to get attacked by Juice Bot despite knowing how traumatized he was after their encounter in Dallas.
** Also claims that he would gladly pull the plug on a comatose GG who has no hope of recovery without grief.
* LargeHam:
-->'''Chip:'''The rules...have changed. The RULES, have changed! '''THE RULES, HAVE'''-- oh what? Sorry.\\
'''GG:''' [[LampshadeHanging I like your passion, Chip.]]
* MrExposition: Many of his lines feature him explaining facets of the game for the benefit of new players, such as explaining the significance of the Annihilator.
* RetiredBadass: Evidently he was one of the sport's all-time greats.
* TheBeastMaster: When the press box becomes infested with Emperor Tamarins, he manages to train them to bring him coffee and do his taxes.
* ThisIsMySide: He and GG do this with the press box for unknown reasons, possibly because of his Jerkass move above. While his side has the pencil sharpener, GG's has all the pencils. Luckily, Chip remembered to keep the nacho machine on his side and uses them as make-shift fountain pens.

!! Bullseye
->Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse

The official Monday Night Combat mascot, Bullseye lives up to his name. His role is to walk out into the middle of the arena and get shot. This is actually reasonable, as he's invincible. Oh, and besides being an annoying mascot shooting him gives you money, juice, and a chance for [[PowerUpFood BACON!!]] Just be sure the enemy team isn't busy in your base...

* DesignatedMonkey - In universe example.
-->'''Mickey Cantor''' - ''Oh look everybody, it's Bullseye, the Monday Night Combat mascot! Kill him. KILL HIM NOW!''
* FanDisservice - The "American Bacon" picture from the Halloween Unmasking Finale blog post. [[http://www.uberent.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/mnc_American_Bacon_1920.jpg Ugggh.]]
* IronButtmonkey: His purpose is to be shot and he's invincible.
* {{Mascot}}
* PromotedFanboy: Bullseye is performed by a randomly-selected person who enters a weekly contest...[[TooDumbToLive To be shot at by professional killers.]]
* TheScrappy - [[invoked]] A parody thereof. Why else would you be shooting him? Mickey Cantor even encourages people in the audience to use their own sniper rifles to shoot him. GG and Chip seem to hate him a lot less, but still emphasize that he should be taken out ASAP.

!! Chickey Cantor
A giant, genetically engineered chicken who walks around the stage and can be attacked for certain benefits. By reducing its health to zero, she flies away and lays a golden egg that grants a stat boost to the entire team that drove it away. It occasionally slams the ground with enough force to stun players, but also stuns itself. This is when players can grapple it and ride it, generating money.

* AscendedFanboy: Chickey Cantor comes from a [[http://simplethrift.wordpress.com/2011/02/10/252-good-egg-interview-with-mncs-chandana-ekanayake-chickey-cantor/ real life residence]] that decided to name a chicken after MNC's announcer.
* AuthorAppeal: Despite having to be attacked like Bullseye, Chickey is beloved, especially by Mickey Cantor, who becomes overjoyed at the sight of Chickey and makes offers to the teams to not hurt Chickey.
* BraggingThemeTune
* GroundPound
* {{Leitmotif}}: ''Chickeeeeeyyyyyy, Chickey Cantooooooooorrrr!''
* TeamPet

!! Juice Bot
Also known as the Fruit Fucker from ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'', Juice Bot will occasionally take the place of Bullseye on the battlefield.
* AdaptationNameChange: Had his name changed to Juice Bot from Fruit Fucker in order to keep the game's T rating. However, Fruit Fucker may still be his real name, as a few bits of dialogue by Bullseye hint at his name being changed.
* TheCameo: A character carried over from Penny Arcade.
* {{Leitmotif}}: And a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC-CK6SoCCA catchy one]] at that.
* RedEyesTakeWarning: Poses no threat on his own, but trying to grab him will lead to him knocking you away.
* NoodleIncident: Announcer dialogue suggests that being around Juice Bot with fruit is a very, ''very'' bad idea, yet it is never explained why (although the original name might be a hint). GG himself (who can be quite sociopathic during Blitz) is terrified by him, what was either started or enhanced by something that happened to him in Dallas involving Juice Bot.