An (incomplete) list of characters from the Mediochreverse.

[[folder: The Main Party]]
* AerithAndBob: Joseph, Charlotte... Mediochre... and Dhampinella?
* FiveManBand
** TheLeader: Mediochre.
** TheLancer: Joseph.
** TheSmartGuy: Mediochre again.
** TheBigGuy: Dhampinella
** TheChick: Charlotte
** TeamPet: Desra
* FourTemperamentEnsemble:
** Mediochre is choleric.
** Joseph is sanguine.
** Dhampinella is melancholic.
** Charlotte is phlegmatic or leukine.
* GuysSmashGirlsShoot: Inverted.
* TheyFightCrime

!!Professor Doctor Laird Sir Mediochre Quirinius Seth, [=PhD MusD MSc CBE OBE MIMC VC-Bar=]
An enigmatic 400-year-old [[InstantAwesomeJustAddDragons dracologist]] with superhuman abilities to heal and calculate probability, due to a magical accident in his younger days.
* AdventurerOutfit: He is rarely seen outside of his dracology clothes.
* AntiHero: Type III.
* AwesomenessByAnalysis: He sees the world as an endless list of numbers and factors, and he can therefore calculate the probability of any given occurrence when he concentrates.
* AppliedPhlebotinum: Chips the Intrusively Mantic Phone, whom Mediochre can use to send out or block pretty-much any electromagnetic signal he wishes to.
* AuthorAvatar: The author admits that Mediochre looks much like he did aged fifteen, and that there are some similarities in their personalities – although Mediochre is more idealistic, more badass and more heterosexual.
* BadassBookworm: Emphasis on the bookworm.
* BadassTeacher
* BatDeduction: He can sort-of do this by calculating the most probable explanation.
* BatmanGambit[=/=]XanatosGambit: It’s hard to tell with him.
* BerserkButton: People who harm dragons.
* BewareTheNiceOnes: When he’s angry, he’s a worse enemy than Joseph.
* BraveScot: Curiously, he's the only one of the four central protagonists to have been in Scotland long enough to have an undiluted accent. As for the brave - ''his job is to research fire-breathing monsters''.
* ByronicHero
* CampStraight
* CelibateEccentricGenius: The former two are due to his being 400 years old in a 15-year-old body. The latter’s natural.
* ChekhovsHobby: He’s a member of the Inner Magic Circle. You can bet that comes in useful.
* CheshireCatGrin: Frequently.
* ChronicHeroSyndrome
* CompanionCube: Chips the IMP.
* ICallItVera: His phone is named Chips.
* ContemplateOurNavels: Well, he is an academic...
* CoolTeacher
* CrazyPrepared
* CulturedBadass
* CursedWithAwesome: His HealingFactor and AwesomenessByAnalysis both.
* DarkAndTroubledPast: He was nearly killed [[spoiler: by Maelstrom]] and subsequently made immortal by [[spoiler: the blood of the dragon he failed to save]]. And that may not be worst thing he’s been through.
* DeadpanSnarker: Stands out, even in [[WorldOfSnark this universe]].
* DefectiveDetective: He’s not the most emotionally stable of slayer-catchers.
* EurekaMoment: He does this a lot.
* EverythingsSpoonierWithSpoons: Or sporks, in his case.
* ExoticDetective: Cos, y’know, he’s got superpowers.
* FamedInStory
** ExpectingSomeoneTaller: The things he’s famed for make him sound more badass than he looks.
* FascinatingEyebrow: Fairly often.
* GeekPhysique: Stuck in a nerdy teenage body.
* GoodIsNotNice
* GreatDetective: It’s basically a superpower for him.
* GuileHero
* HealingFactor: Due to [[spoiler: the self-replicating dragon’s blood in his system]].
** GoodThingYouCanHeal: Gets hurt a lot, allowing him to show this off.
* HeroicSafeMode: What he enters whenever he gets beaten.
* HotBlooded
* ImmortalImmaturity: Zig-zagged.
* ImmortalityImmorality: Also zig-zagged.
* ImpoverishedPatrician: Technically a laird, but he needs to hold down several jobs to avoid having to sell his house.
* IncrediblyLamePun: He likes them.
* IndyPloy: His default Plan B, it would seem.
** XanatosSpeedChess
* TheInsomniac: He doesn't seem to sleep until he has to.
** FridgeHorror: Considering his emotional problems, and the fact he's a war vet, he's probably trying to avoid nightmares.
* InsufferableGenius
* InterdisciplinarySleuth: He’s a dracology professor who catches slayers.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold
* LargeHam
* LonelyPianoPiece: Plays them occasionally.
* MagicianDetective: The MIMC stands for Member of the Inner Magic Circle.
* MerlinSickness: He de-aged from fifty to fifteen.
* MysteriousPast
* NiceHat: It’s flameproof, and he seems quite attached to it.
* NonActionGuy: Fights like a wimp.
** NonActionSnarker
* NotGrowingUpSucks: He does not like being stuck in mid-puberty all the time.
* OccultDetective: He catches dragon-slayers.
* OutGambitted: Pulling this on people is Mediochre’s purpose in life.
* PopCulturedBadass: When he ran out of [[CulturedBadass classic novels]] to read between adventures, he moved on to comic books. Also, like Joseph, he's a fan of Series/TheATeam.
* TheProfessor
* ReallySevenHundredYearsOld: He’s around 400.
* SavedByTheAwesome: Why Queen MAB lets him have so much free reign.
* SelfMutilationDemonstration: When he wants to scare an opponent into giving up, such as when he blows off his own finger in front of Antler’s goons.
* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: Every so often.
* SesquipedalianSmith
* ShroudedInMyth: Intentionally so, it appears.
* SmugSuper
* TechnicalPacifist: Well... he tries...
* ThemeMusicPowerUp: He thinks better when he plays piano.
* TranquilFury: If you push him too far.
* TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard
* WhoWantsToLiveForever

!!Charlotte Johnson
The viewpoint character, at least at first. An ordinary girl, recently moved to Scotland from America, who forces her way into Mediochre’s world after he almost gets her killed.
* ActionGirl: Not exactly, but she’s better than Mediochre at least.
* TheApprentice: Eventually becomes Mediochre's.
* AudienceSurrogate: The only non-magical teenager in a series aimed at (presumably) non-magical teenagers.
* DeadpanSnarker: Gives Mediochre a run for his money.
* FishOutOfWater: A mantically-unaware American in Mantically Aware Britain.
* HairOfGoldHeartOfGold: She’s the least morally ambiguous of the four, and she’s blonde.
* TheHeart
* JumpedAtTheCall: And ''kept'' jumping until The Call gave up and let her come along.
* OrdinaryHighSchoolStudent
* SupportingProtagonist: She gets the most pagetime and the series starts off (and largely remains) from her point of view, but it ain’t called "The Good, the Bad and the Charlotte", now, is it?
* TheTeamNormal: Mediochre has a HealingFactor and AwesomenessByAnalysis, Dhampinella has SuperStrength and SuperSpeed, and Joseph is a GeniusBruiser with ImprobableAimingSkills. Charlotte mostly hangs around being sarcastic.
* TookALevelInBadass: Over the course of the first book.
* UnfazedEveryman: Or rather, Unfazed Everygirl.
* TheWatson

!!Professor Joseph Carrion, [=PhD=]
A cynical, gun-loving professor of [[TheUndead zontanecrology]], intensely loyal to Mediochre and revealed in the ChristmasEpisode to be his godson.
* ActionHero
* AntiHero: Also a Type III, but for different reasons to Mediochre.
* {{Badass}}: One of the biggest in the series. Let’s count the ways:
** BadassBookworm: A former TeenGenius and TheProfessor by some point in his twenties, but he’s been able to hold his own in a fight against stronger opponents since he was eighteen.
** BadassNormal: Is a better fighter than most of the people with magic powers or a HealingFactor, and part of his job requires him, as a normal human being, to subdue undead monstrosities.
** BadassLongcoat: In black, of course. It holds some of his guns.
** BadassTeacher: He knows Dhampinella can handle herself, but it’s pretty clear it would be bad idea to attack any of his students.
* BoisterousBruiser: Shades of this.
* TheChampion: For Mediochre.
* DarkIsNotEvil: Strongly associated with guns, violence and the colour black, but he’s arguably a nicer guy than anyone else in the party.
* DepletedPhlebotinumShells: His guns run the gamut.
* FromDressToDressing: Seems to be used to doing this.
* GoodIsNotNice
* TheGunslinger
* HotBlooded: Less than Mediochre, but it’s there.
* ImprobableAge: He's somewhere in his twenties, but he's already a Professor. We find out in ''[[ChristmasEpisode Born to Raise the Sons of Earth]]'' that he was a ChildProdigy and wrote a thesis at seventeen.
* ImprobableAimingSkills: They’re his CharlesAtlasSuperpower.
* InterdisciplinarySleuth: A zontanecrology professor who catches undead-slayers.
* MadeOfIron: His other CharlesAtlasSuperpower. He can basically shrug off bulletwounds.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: Carrion. It’s what he’ll reduce you to if he has to.
* OccultDetective
* OvershadowedByAwesome: He’s Mediochre’s godson, Mad Lex’s apprentice and his family has a history of great scientists. He’s felt this way since he was a kid.
* PoisonousFriend: To Mediochre.
* PopCulturedBadass: A fan of Series/TheATeam and Music/TheBeatles, among others.
* PragmaticHero: In contrast to Mediochre's attempted idealism.
* SelfStitching: He’s clearly practiced.
* TeenGenius: Used to be one.

!!Dhampinella
Joseph’s Dhampir apprentice.
* ActionGirl: Heck yes.
* TheApprentice
* {{Badass}}: Oh my, yes.
* BadassLongcoat: Which she only [[TheCoatsAreOff removes]] when she wants to really let loose with the violence.
* BoyishShortHair: Dhampinella has a bob haircut, presumably so that it stays out of her way when she's fighting.
* TheChampion: For Joseph.
* CuteBruiser: A little bit.
* CuteMonsterGirl: But only in a [[StoicWoobie woobieish]] way.
* DarkAndTroubledPast: Her father was not a very nice man, even by Vampire standards. Her mother left when she was very young, and her father was eventually murdered.
* DarkIsNotEvil
* {{Dhampir}}
* EmotionlessGirl: See under TheSpock.
* HalfHumanHybrid: Her father was a Vampire, her mother a human.
** HumanMomNonhumanDad
* {{Ladyella}}: Her name roughly means Little Dhampir Girl.
* LightningBruiser
* MadeOfIron: All Dhampir are, it would seem.
** GoodThingYouCanHeal: Used a bit as a meatshield.
* NotSoStoic: In the second book, she gets worried about her sister, and angry about Guinevere Spencer. The latter even provokes her to mildly ''[[PrecisionFStrike swear]]''.
* OneManArmy: Well, One Dhampir Army, technically.
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: Whenever she goes NotSoStoic.
* ParentalAbandonment
** MissingMom: Her mother left when she was very young.
** DisappearedDad: Her father has a better excuse – he was murdered by a slayer.
* TheQuietOne: Says almost nothing unless addressed directly.
* RelativeButton: She becomes NotSoStoic whenever her sister is involved.
* SignificantGreenEyedRedhead: Her eyes are very green, and her hair is reddish. It adds to the ethereal feel.
* TheSpock: Possibly. Dhampir may just show their emotions in a different way to humans.
* TheStoic: Again, possibly.
* SuperSpeed
* SuperStrength
* TerseTalker
* TranquilFury: If she ever feels any emotion at all, it’s probably this.
* UncannyValley: Tends to invoke this in people.
* YouKilledMyFather: In backstory, this was how her first case alongside Joseph began.

!!Desra
Mediochre’s pet mouse, which mostly lives in his jacket. Was apparently a present from Joseph.
* ChekhovsGunman: Odd but true. The mouse, of all people, comes in useful half way through the first book.
* NiceMice
* SquirrelsInMyPants: Averted. Mediochre barely notices the fact he has a mouse crawling around in his clothes.
* TeamPet
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The [=MABGov=]]]
The Mantically Aware British Government is in charge of keeping the mantically-aware side of Britain running. And hidden.
* CleanupCrew
* TheMasquerade
* MemoryWipingCrew
* NoPartyGiven: None of them.
* NotSoOmniscientCouncilOfBickering: It’s a testament to Queen MAB’s leadership that they manage to keep themselves hidden at all.
* PrimeDirective: Never let the Masquerade collapse.

!!MAB Prime Minister Kathryn Queen AKA Queen MAB
* BenevolentBoss: She takes the time to acknowledge her appreciation to Tanner.
* BigGood: In theory, she’s in charge of keeping the entire country safe and ordered – although there is a Mantically Aware UN above her.
* DoNotCallMePaul: It appears she has a different line for everyone when it comes to how colloquial a nickname they may use.
* GoodIsNotNice
* GoodIsNotSoft
* TheIronLady
* PunnyName: Queen MAB. Like the fairy.
* ReasonableAuthorityFigure
* WhatsUpKingDude: Mediochre is on friendly terms with her.

!!MAB MP James Chrome
The most senior Member of the MAB Parliament in Edinburgh, and an occasional opponent of Mediochre.
* InspectorJavert: He does have a point in his trying to bring Mediochre under control, but he goes a bit far.
* HangingSeparately: If he were more open to trust he’d cause a lot less problems.
* ObstructiveBureaucrat

!!Alexander Tanner
Queen MAB's devoted Personal Assistant.
* BadassBookworm: Despite being a political bureaucrat, he is perfectly capable of punching a man to the ground.
* BadassBureaucrat
* BerserkButton: The one time he [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness loses his cool]] is when Fervour attempts a coup.
* CulturedBadass
* HairOfGoldHeartOfGold
* HiredForTheirLooks: Defied. Queen MAB thinks that whoever started that rumour clearly doesn't realise the extent to which the sight of Tanner [[FetishRetardant reminds her of work.]]
* ParentheticalSwearing: Tanner can put a surprising amount of meaning into the single syllable "sir".
* RightHandHottie: Tanner is as meticulous over his appearance and fitness as he is over his paperwork.
* SharpDressedMan: See RightHandHottie above.

!!Maccabeus Fervour
The head of the opposition [[spoiler: and eventually of the [=MABGov=].]]
* BadassBureaucrat: Capable of this, but only in his attempts to outdo or discredit Queen MAB.
* CorruptPolitician: Fervour is a bully who is only in politics for the power.
* [[spoiler: TheCoup]]
* MeaningfulName: Fervour implies zealotry, which he seems to be guilty of. Maccabeus was also the name of a revolutionary in Jewish history... whose first name, for added points, was ''[[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast Judas]]''.
* [[spoiler: PuppetKing]]: Mediochre believes him to have become this by the end of the second book.
* [[spoiler: TyrantTakesTheHelm]]: By the end of the second book.
[[/folder]]


[[folder: The Dusk Foundation]]
A half-way-house-cum-youth-hostel type arrangement for the Undead and non-human residents of the city to retreat from the [[FantasticRacism judgement of humanity]] for a while.
* AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs: Gets one from the Humanist Movement.
* FriendlyNeighbourhoodVampires
* MonstersAnonymous
* MonsterMash
* TheUndead

!!Frankenstein Igor Shelly
A Revenant who runs the Edinburgh Dusk.
* ConspiracyTheorist
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: [[spoiler: Subverted. Turns out, he was never a bad guy.]]
* [[spoiler: OffWithHisHead]]
* [[spoiler: StuffedIntoTheFridge]]
* SurferDude: Only without any surfing.

!!Tsukiko Shinju
A Yurei who's spirit is bound to the Edinburgh Dusk. An old friend of Rowan.
* CantGrowUp: Since she died as a child, she has to stay a child. For once, she doesn't seem to mind though.
* CheerfulChild
* CuteGhostGirl
* GenkiGirl: She's pretty enthusiastic about... just-about everything.
* HeartWarmingOrphan: So far as we can tell, her parents are the regular kind of dead.
* {{Moe}}
* ThePollyanna

!!Reverend Archibald Maria "Archie" Elijah
A Vampire contact of Mediochre, who is also a Christian minister and something of a father-figure to Dhampinella.
* BadPowersGoodPeople: He knows how to conduct exorcism (which, in this setting, is a form of necromancy otherwise mostly used by the Humanist Movement). He only ever uses it to save people.
* BigDamnHeroes: He organises a group of exorcists to neutralise the threat of the [[spoiler: undead bacteria]] just in time. Does it again with the Edinburgh Kiss.
* CoolOldGuy
* {{Determinator}}: Just because he's an undead horror with an aversion to everything holy doesn't mean he's gonna stop being a Christian.
* ClassicalMovieVampire: Looks like one. Doesn't act like one.
* FriendlyNeighbourhoodVampire: Taken to extremes.
* GoodShepherd
* MySpeciesDothProtestTooMuch: He's a Vampire. He's also a religious leader.
* ParentalSubstitute: He's basically a GoodCounterpart to Dhampinella's father.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:The Organisation Which I Represent]]
A mysterious unnamed group manipulating events from behind the scenes for some clandestine purpose.
* AncientConspiracy: Perhaps? We know nothing of their age.
* BadassCreed: The Future Starts With The Present.
* BiggerBad
* EvilIsNotWellLit: They meet in the dark to hide their identities from each other.
* TheGroup
* HiddenAgendaVillain
* NebulousEvilOrganisation: So nebulous we know nothing about them.
* TheManBehindTheMan
* PlayingGod: Possibly. The tempomancer explicitly compares them to the builders of the Tower of Babel.
* StealthPun[=/=]FunWithAcronyms: The Organisation Which I Represent. TOWIR. As in TOWIR of Babel.
* ThemeNaming: They use the names of precious stones for code names.
* UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans: Maybe - see WellIntentionedExtremist below.
* WellIntentionedExtremist: The tempomancer claims that they seek to further human development, although he may have been lying to Joseph at that point. Either way, they are willing to cause death and destruction in the name of their goals.

!!The tempomancer AKA Topaz
Real name unknown. A powerful and enigmatic man who functions as some sort of field agent for The Organisation Which he Represents.
* DragonWithAnAgenda: To the SSS.
* EnigmaticMinion
* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep
* HiddenAgendaVillain: We don't even really know if his agenda is in line with that of the rest of TOWIR.
* TheManBehindTheMan: Engineered most of the events of the first book, at least.
* ManipulativeBastard
* SequelHook: Seems to take it upon himself to deliver one at the end of every book.
* TimeMaster
* TimeStandsStill: When he wants to, he can slow time down in one location to a near-infinite degree.
* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: It's described as sounding like it either comes from everywhere at once or nowhere at all.

!! Danny Boy Snapfax
A colleague of the tempomancer who advises Charlotte in secret and claims that the tempomancer is a rogue agent whom he is hunting down. [[spoiler: He’s lying, it seems. He’s actually the tempomancer’s underling.]]
* DoubleReverseQuadrupleAgent: Works for Mediochre, but actually works with the tempomancer, but actually works against the tempomancer for TOWIR. [[spoiler: But actually works for both the tempomancer and TOWIR in accord.]]
* TheDriver: What Mediochre uses him for. He knows every road in the country.
** BadassDriver
* FemmeFatale: Gender-flipped. Danny fills this role for Charlotte...
** [[spoiler: TheVamp: ...or so it seems. In reality, he’s seducing and manipulating her.]]
* FightingIrish: Can handle himself pretty well with that knife of his.
* ImprobableAimingSkills: Can seemingly hit almost any target with his knife, even a far away one.
** ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks
* KnifeNut
* [[spoiler: The Mole]]
* PunnyName: Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes...
* [[spoiler: SuddenSequelDeathSyndrome: Killed by the necromancer to stop him from talking to the police.]]
* WalkingSpoiler

!!Catriona Haulier AKA Obsidian
Seemingly the tempomancer's direct superior. She takes over as the EnigmaticMinion ''du jour'' in Book II.
* EmotionlessGirl: The closest thing to an emotional response she ever has is her expression when [[spoiler: she gets killed.]]
* LivingADoubleLife: She has people who live and work with her but don't know she’s a member of TOWIR.
* [[spoiler: NeckSnap: How she dies.]]
* TheSociopath
* {{Telepathy}}: She's a psychomancer.
* [[spoiler: ThanatosGambit]]: Maybe. It is mentioned by Agate that [[spoiler: Obsidian's death]] was part of the plan. She refuses to say whether it was part of ''Obsidian's'' plan.
* TheyLookJustLikeEveryoneElse: There is nothing remarkable about her appearance, she just looks like a tourist.
* XanatosSpeedChess: Insists that Charlotte can be easily written in to their plans.
* YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness: She pulls one of these on [[spoiler: Gambit]].

!!Agate
Apparently Obsidian's direct superior.
* EuropeansAreKinky: Agate is ''apparently'' a continental European, and sees nothing wrong with sunbathing half-naked during her meetings with Obsidian, to the latter's [[StuffyBrit very-British]] discomfort.
* EvilIsSexy
* SlouchOfVillainy: She doesn't even just ''slouch''; she ''lounges''.
* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: It's always something from western continental Europe, but beyond that she seems to like to keep people guessing.
* [[ManOfWealthAndTaste Woman of Wealth and Taste]]

!!Jasper
An underling of The Organisation, assigned to keeping alive [[spoiler: the necromancer]].
* KidWithTheLeash: To [[spoiler: the necromancer]].
* [[spoiler: TheManBehindTheMan: Since he's keeping the necromancer alive, he gets to call the shots.]]
* TheQuietOne: He has about two lines in the entire book.
* ThermalDissonance: As a thermomancer, he can enforce this.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Sapphire Smuggling Syndicate]]
A criminal organisation smuggling magical contraband around the globe.
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal
* CovertGroupWithMundaneFront: The Sapphire Storage company.
* EvilInc
* FiveBadBand:
** TheBigBad: Sapphire
** TheDragon: Antler
** TheEvilGenius: The tempomancer
** TheBrute: Maelstrom
** TheDarkChick: Isobel
* TheSyndicate

!!Sapphire AKA [[spoiler: Dean Kiwi Mashuga]]
The BigBad of the first book and head of the SSS [[spoiler: is actually Mediochre’s employer and old friend.]]
* [[spoiler:AbsentMindedProfessor]]: What Sapphire pretends to be to throw suspicion.
* AbusiveParents: To [[spoiler: Isobel]]. Or at least very uncaring.
* [[spoiler:BigBadFriend]]
* DiabolicalMastermind
* [[spoiler: EvilTeacher]]
* FashionVictimVillain: Deliberately dresses like an eccentric.
* LivingADoubleLife
* TheMole: Sort-of inverted... Sapphire doesn’t work for the bad guys, the bad guys work for Sapphire.
** [[spoiler: MoleInCharge]]
* PlayingWithFire: Is a pyromancer.
* RefugeInAudacity: The Syndicate’s front organisation has the same name as the Syndicate itself, which is also the codename of its head. [[spoiler: Also, she hides in plain sight as Mediochre’s employer]].
* SmugSuper
* WalkingSpoiler

!!Mr Antler
The head of the Scottish branch of the SSS, and Sapphire’s direct underling.
* BadassInANiceSuit
* BlondGuysAreEvil
* TheHeavy
* ManOfWealthAndTaste: Presumably, given his nice suit and watch.
* SmugSnake

!!Maelstrom
An old, old enemy of Mediochre’s whom the SSS hired as a dragon-slayer.
* ArchEnemy: To Mediochre.
* [[BarbarianHero Barbarian Villain]]
* DoomedHometown: His FreudianExcuse.
* TheDragonSlayer
* DragonWithAnAgenda: The SSS want him to only kill certain dragons. Maelstrom wants to kill them all.
* DumbMuscle
* EvilCounterpart: To Mediochre in some ways. Evil, dumb and strong counterpart at least.
* FantasticRacism: Hates dragons.
* FreudianExcuse: A dragon destroyed his hometown.
* HeroesPreferSwords: He likes to think he’s the hero, and he uses a sword.
* KickTheDog: He’s a prick to his hunting hound.
* [[spoiler: KilledOffForReal]]
** [[spoiler: TheEndOrIsIt]]
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast
* OnlyOneName
* ReallySevenHundredYearsOld
* SoYouWantToLiveForEver: Has been [[spoiler: mainlining dragon’s blood]] to stay alive.

!!Beowulf
Maelstrom’s dog.
* KickTheDog: On the receiving end from Maelstrom.
* KilledOffForReal
* RightHandAttackDog

!!Isobel Linda Williams
An SSS mercenary sent to recover Glint from Mediochre. [[spoiler: Also Kiwi’s daughter]].
* DarkActionGirl
* ExactWords: [[spoiler: She beats a lie detector this way – it’s technically true that no-one in the university works for the SSS, since Kiwi is not their minion but their boss]].
* [[LikeFatherLikeSon Like Mother Like Daughter]]
** [[DaddysLittleVillain Mummy's Little Villain]]
* PlayingWithFire: Is a pyromancer.
* SurroundedByIdiots: The team she commands are a few stars short of a galaxy.
* WouldHurtAChild: Tries to kill Charlotte, not to mention threatening to blow up a school.
[[/folder]]


[[folder: The Edinburgh Kiss]]
A crime mob of Vampires living underneath Edinburgh. [[spoiler: Revealed to be in league with the necromancer]].
* GangOfHats: Does being a Vampire count as a Hat?
* GenericEthnicCrimeGang: With the twist that the "ethnicity" here is "''Vampire''".
* RuthlessForeignGangsters: Even if you don't count "undead" as a type of "foreign", several of them ''are'' foreign anyway. And they are ''definitely'' ruthless.

!!Guinevere Spencer
[[TheDon Broodmother]] of the Edinburgh Kiss.
* BlondesAreEvil
* BloodKnight
* ClassicalMovieVampire: Pretty-much the classic ''female'' movie vampire.
* DepravedBisexual[=/=]PsychoLesbian: Implied, given her [[LesYay relationship]] with Millacra.
* TheDon
* [[spoiler: FamilyUnfriendlyDeath: Her head gets torn in two by Sable.]]
* ForTheEvulz: Joseph notes that she talks too flippantly about "the cause" to actually believe in it. She just wants an excuse to kill people. She also once slaughtered an entire ''town'' for a bet.
* LesbianVampire: Probably. She has a lot of LesYay with Millacra.
* NotInThisForYourRevolution: See ForTheEvulz above.
* TeamMom: ''Claims'' to be this.

!!Tiffany Quicksilver
Guinevere's second-in-command.
* TheChampion: To Spencer.
* CuteBruiser: Also CuteAndPsycho.
* DarkActionGirl
* TheDragon: To Spencer.
* GirlishPigtails: Wears her hair in a pair of braids for extra CuteAndPsycho points.
* HellBentForLeather

!!Sultan
* BadassLongcoat
* EmoTeen: Looks like one, but he's probably a lot older than that.
* SuperheroPackingHeat: Something of a super''villain'' packing heat, as it turns out he'd rather threaten people with a gun than with his natural Vampire powers. Charlotte thinks that counts as cheating.
[[/folder]]


[[folder: Others]]
!!Melinda Quinn
Mediochre’s long-time friend and one-time apprentice, who was caught in the same accident he was.
* BlessedWithSuck: Her own immortality is somewhat less comfortable than Mediochre’s.
* CoolOldLady
* ElderlyImmortal: Physically, she’s nearing 100. Chronologically, she’s about 370.
* HandicappedBadass: She keeps a tazer under her wheelchair.
* HealingFactor: Due to [[spoiler: dragon’s blood]].
* NeverMessWithGranny
* MasterOfIllusion: A brilliant iconomancer.
* OlderAndWiser: Played with. She has this sort of feel about her despite being chronologically younger than the CantGrowUp Mediochre.
* ProphetEyes
* Really700YearsOld
* RelativeButton: She mostly only goes badass if you threaten Rowan.
* TwoferTokenMinority: UpToEleven. She’s old, disabled, female, blind, deaf, and magic.

!!Rowan Berry
Melinda’s many-times-great niece, who acts as an informer for Mediochre and befriends Charlotte.
* TheNicknamer: Calls Mediochre ‘MQ Ochre’, Melinda ‘Mel’, Desra ‘D’ and Charlotte ‘Chaz’.
* KnowledgeBroker: The girl has a lot of contacts.
* MasterOfIllusion: Learning to be one.
* PunnyName: Like the fruit.

!!Professor Your Almighty God
* AGodAmI: It's in his name.
* AwesomeMccoolName: Even more so than many of the other mantically aware.
* EnsembleDarkhorse: Professor God has a surprisingly large fanbase for such a minor character.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold
* {{Technopath}}: He's a technomancer.
* TechnoWizard: Ditto.

!!Deep Ocean
A dragon with trans-species telepathy, whose eggs the SSS stole and whom Maelstrom wished to kill.
* ActionMom: OK, perhaps being a dragon is cheating.
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: She likes to collect anything she perceives as beautiful. Which involves her stealing treasure and kidnapping a virgin.
* DragonHoard: She likes them, as most dragons do.
* EyeScream: [[spoiler: Antler has Joseph hit her in the eye with a stun dart]].
* AFormYouAreComfortableWith: When she speaks inside Mediochre’s head, she does so not in her own dragon voice but in the voice of his long-dead grandmother.
* InstantAwesomeJustAddDragons
* {{Telepathy}}: Even across species.

!!Glint
Deep Ocean’s unhatched child.
* {{Egg MacGuffin}}
* InstantAwesomeJustAddDragons

!![[spoiler: The necromancer]]
TheHeavy, if not [[TheManBehindTheMan quite]] the BigBad, in the second book.
* BiggerBad: Was possibly possessing [[spoiler: [[ChristmasEpisode Stormhold Elect]]]].
* BodySurf: [[spoiler: Has been doing this since ''ancient times''.]]
* CardCarryingVillain
* CreepyChild: ...[[ReallySevenHundredYearsOld sort of]].
** EnfantTerrible
** [[spoiler: FoetusTerrible]]
* CriticalExistenceFailure: [[spoiler: Once he's separated from Jasper]].
* DangerouslyGenreSavvy: He has ''two'' [[spoiler: phylacteries]]. Turns out to be WrongGenreSavvy, however, when he goes up against Mediochre.
* DeaderThanDead: [[spoiler: Eventually has his body, soul and mind(s) all obliterated in rapid succession.]]
* [[spoiler: DemonicPossession]]
* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep
* [[spoiler: EvilOverlord]]
** [[spoiler: SorcerousOverlord]]
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: [[spoiler: Literally kills his own phylactery by accident]].
* HumanoidAbomination
* [[spoiler: MindHive]]
* [[spoiler: NightOfTheLivingMooks]]
* [[spoiler: OurLichesAreDifferent: This one is a CreepyChild with the minds of every super-powerful necromancer in history.]]
* ReallySevenHundredYearsOld: More. Much, ''much'' more.
* [[spoiler: SoulJar]]
* TakeOverTheWorld
* TouchOfDeath
* WalkingSpoiler: Hoo ''boy''...
* YouHaveFailedMe: Does this to [[spoiler: Gambit]].

!!Xanatos Gambit
Yes, that's [[ShoutOut actually his name]]. A Strigoi who serves as TheDragon to [[spoiler: the necromancer]] and is almost certainly [[JustForFun/NotableReferencesToTvtropes a troper]].
* AlienBlood: It's yellow and watery.
* [[BizarreAlienBiology Bizarre Undead Biology]]: He has two hearts, and is capable of swallowing [[spoiler: an entire human arm]] all at once.
* ButtMonkey: He spends much of his pagetime getting mocked, ordered around or physically attacked, despite his efforts to remain intimidating.
* EvilRedhead
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: If he hadn't left that [[spoiler: crate of scourge worms]] lying around...
* NerdInEvilsHelmet: In addition to his evident knowledge of tropes, Mediochre identifies a line from one of his intimidating speeches as being stolen from DoctorWho.
* RedRightHand: He's described as looking like his own appearance is ''daring'' him not to be evil.
* TortureTechnician: Is in charge of "interviewing" Mediochre.
* [[spoiler: YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness]]: The poor fella gets this ''twice''.

!!Doctor Prometheus Modern, MD
A medical doctor who is an old friend of Mediochre and Joseph, skilled in improvisational field medicine.
* [[spoiler: ForScience: He's willing to have Mediochre ''crucified'' to prove his theories about dragon's blood.]]
* MadScientist: He seems a little... off. [[spoiler: Goes completely off the deep end some time before the second book.]]
** [[spoiler: MadDoctor]]
* MeaningfulName: ''A Modern Prometheus'' is the alternative title to ''Literature/{{Frankenstein}}''.
* TheMedic
* NoodleIncident: He's apparently had to perform some kind of improvised emergency surgery on someone in the past.
* [[spoiler: PropheticName: He gets a nail through the neck like a Frankenstein-style bolt.]]
* [[spoiler: SuddenSequelHeelSyndrome]]
* TerseTalker: Not the warmest of conversationalists - although, in fairness, it is pretty clear that English is not his first language.
* YouNoTakeCandle: Slips into this occasionally, when he's too distracted to focus on his English.

!!Zac Abrahams
Leader of the Humanist Movement, a militant human organisation in favour of human supremacy.
* FantasticRacism
* GeniusBruiser: He looks like a thug, but he comes up with a pretty decent XanatosGambit to bring down the Dusk.
* GoodScarsEvilScars: He has a pretty nasty evil one.
* RightWingMilitiaFanatic

!!Doctor Alexander "Mad Lex" Gunpowder, [=PhD=]
Joseph's old mentor. Turns up in person in the ChristmasEpisode.
* AwesomeAussie
* AxeCrazy: He ''really'' likes to shoot things.
* CloudCuckooLander: He's described as being "one bad day away from [[WindmillCrusader declaring war on antelope]]".
* TheGunslinger
* ImprobableAimingSkills: Implicitly.
* MadScientist
* MorallyAmbiguousDoctorate: Although his moral ambiguity is out of insanity rather than malice.
* PosthumousCharacter: While he does have a major part in the first ChristmasEpisode, which takes place before the main series, he was first introduced in Book I as having already killed himself. [[BlackComedy By accident]]. [[CrossesTheLineTwice By trying to use a handgun to remove a piece of food from between his teeth]].
* SavedByTheAwesome: His genius is all that kept him out of an asylum.
* TeenGenius: Formerly. He got a doctorate at ''seventeen''.
* TriggerHappy
* TheWonka
* WoodenKatanasAreEvenBetter: Has a peachwood one for Jiang-shi and a rosewood one for Vampires.
[[/folder]]