!!Principal Business Man / Principal Business Lady

->Hy my name is Principal Business Man and I am liveng wth a gurl name Gluttony Magnolia hoo is lick sooooo hot an pretty becoz I sed so. Yet se wont stop naggeing abot wat I do wile I em at home so most of the tiem I stey at a sertan Portal [=HIgh=] School wich is agen sooooooooo cole becoz if I say domethigm is cole it IS COLE and PEARIED.

->I forgot to write "and the ashes died" in the last chapter, that's what they saw.

Essentially a trollfic counterpart to the Aperture Science Business Magnet, the author's first ever self-insert character. Principal Business Man was a principal of Portal High School, married to Principal [=GLaDOS=] (named something along the lines of "Gluttony Magnolia" in the past) and in the future he and Principal [=GLaDOS=] became [[spoiler:THOSE JERK ROBOTS ALTAS AN P-BOY.]]

!!"Principle [=InterdimensionalPortaller=]"

->'''Kanaya:''' When I Ended Up There Principal Interdimensional Portaller Had A Thought And Asked Me If I Received A Package From An Irken Invader Named Zim So I Said No What You Are Insane

While Principal Business Man originally was the last principal of Portal High School before [=GLaDOS=] the A.I. took over, later additions {{retcon}}ned that, instead having him be replaced with this character. Undoubtedly the equivalent of Ms. Johnson-Rattmann "interdimensionalPortaller", who in turn (less obviously) is the equivalent of Chell.

!![[Tropers/{{Skepkitty}} Skep Katty]]

->"I have a confession for you…" Skep Katty said. "I am a boy!"

She is originally introduced as "[[SpoiledBrat spoled]]" and got to transfer to Portal High School during the events of ''Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition.'' Later, it is revealed that she - or rather, he - is transgender and has gone through with the surgery.

Tropes:

* BreakingTheFourthWall - Skep once claims that "Awa" is "[[OutOfCharacter OOCK]]".
** Later he develops mind-reading powers, and is able to interrupt Janet's narration, asking her to use correct pronouns when talking about him.

!!Averil Lovonde

->Who the hell is Roxa Lavigne I am very clearly AVRIL Lavigne though Roxa Lavigne sounds like a good name for a daughter of mine.

[[Music/AvrilLavigne Averil]] [[SpellMyNameWithAnS Lovond/Lovonde]] is a "goffik eemow" music artist and "de motter of [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} Raws and Roxee Lovondes]]", as well as "Skep Katty", who have separate sections. Averil was married to [[Music/MyChemicalRomance "Gerod Why"]] for a while before leaving him for "a ridor nomed Mark Tequila" and forcing her daughters to change names.

Interestingly, Irken counterparts to "Avrole Lovend" and "Me Kemonkal Romonse" exist. Zim starts listening to their music after [[spoiler:Daz Membrone, now in control of the whole universe [[EarthThatWas sans Earth]],]] starts abusing him.

!!Creator/BenStiller

He plays a similar role to Averil Lovonde, seeing as he's the parent of Dove, Dick Stillers and Logik Edtor.

Tropes:

* HalfHumanHybrid - He is human, while the mother of his kids, Lately Pirate, is an "alien with candy corn horns and gray skin".

!!Mr. Logik Edtor and Ms. Lovobil Freek

At first, two new teachers who get accepted to Portal High School, later two bullies who harrass "Raws". Seemingly equivalents of Mr. Elliot and Ms. Bitters/"Ms. Sweaters" in Portal High School.

!!"Emprase Contine Oversser" / [[spoiler:"Daz Membrone"]]

->Prinsipal Businzess Man since Carolein wos doed an replosed widd [=GLaDOS=] lifed in his home nomed [[VideoGame/BluePortals Bllo Portnels Deralement Centrw]] widd an adoptid dotter Embrace Conteen Ovasere bu shee kolde de dome Blioo Bortols Devolvement Empore. [=DIs=] is horn storee.

Principal Business Man's adoptive daugther. Naturally, as she's adopted, [[Videogame/{{Portal2}} she also must be fat and ugly]]. [[spoiler:After dying, escapes from Android Hell to the verse of ''Invader Zim: Born Again Christian'', where "Robot Membrone" finds her and re-designs her to be half-Dib, half-Gaz.]]

!![[Characters/HomestuckPostScratchKids Janet Roberts,]] Creator/JackLondon, [[Characters/HomestuckPostScratchKids Roxee Lovonde / Roxa Lavigne and Dick Stiller]]

->Hi mi namme is Janet Roberts an I life in da 413 post condensaten in my hose. Ass it trunde oot ders only 4 humons alife on Planot Erathe: me, Jack London, Roxee Lovonde and Dick Stiller (AN ROXAY AN DIKR FOND A TIM MASHEIN SO DER IN DA FUTREZ :p) Todie is 11-111 an wole it issent me borfdae todak a noo gome by da evor awesem BETTE CROCKET nomed Sburb Alffa is relessing.

->'''[=ASBusinessMagnet=]:''' Too bad I don’t watch movies nor TV shows and have no idea who to guess about [for the identity of Sweary Guy], because Janet, Jack, Roxee and Dick would appear LIKE THE WIND in the last chapter [of THE MARRISSA GAMES].

Dick Stiller, who appears be related to Creator/BenStiller, and Roxee Lovonde escaped from their own time to "413 post condensaten", where they met Janet and Jack, who are seemingly the last humans alive after "Candacension Pixies" killed off everyone else. Janet (and possibly Jack) are also stated to be the descendants of Marissa Roberts herself. (No word about how that also makes them (as descendants of Wheatly Potter) descendants of Ignotus Peverell, the original owner of the Invisibility Cloak, which is passed through generations.) The four are the main characters of ''Post-[=SCrash=] Session''.

Tropes:

* ADickInName - Dick is the subject of this, constantly. Most notably, Janet refers to him as "my Dick", while Roxa refuses to do so, claiming that she is a cis girl, but is forced to concede once she encounters a Dick from another timeline.
* FamousAncestor - Given that a lot of Marrissa characters are related, (at least for Janet and Jack) a lot of them. From the MTW Wiki:
-->Much is told about Janet's ancestry. Besides being the distant descendant of [[spoiler:Charlie Roberts and Rose Quartz Vasquez]] (and, as such, many other main characters of the Marrissaverse, including but not limited to Marrissa Roberts, Wheatly, Gabe Jonson, Caroline, Principal Business Man, Principal [=GLaDOS=], Chell Junor Roberts, [[spoiler:Skepness Man Beauregarde, Skepkitty, Jenny Weasley, Jhonen Eggert-Vasquez, Rebecca Sugar-Vasquez and, adoptively, Violet Beauregarde, Avril Lavigne and Gerard Way]]), [...]

!!Candacension Pixies / Betty Crocket

->'''[=ASBusinessMagnet=]'s version of Marrissa:''' SHUP UP IM DA REEL MARRISSA AN YORE A PREP POZER IN FAVOOR OF CRITEKS UNITIED AN DER LEEDERS CURIOSITY SNOW AN CANDACENSION PIXIES!!Ą TRATTER

Presumably a counterpart of Her Imperious Condescension. She is one of the leaders of Critics United, and instead of running the Hunger Games like her predecessor "Curiosity" Snow, she made the dystopia that is the setting of ''Post [=SCrash=] Session''. While she poses as Betty Crocket, neither of her heiresses, [[spoiler:Janet Roberts and Meanie Pixies]], realize that Candacension Pixies and Betty Crocket are really the same person.

Tropes:

* DidYouJustHaveTeaWithCthulhu - She has a pet monster, [[spoiler:which in the ''Homestuck'' canon was named Gl'Bgolyb but which Marissa accidentally dubs as]] "Cthulhu".

!![[Creator/JhonenVasquez Jhonen Eggert-Vasquez]][[Characters/HomestuckKids , Raws Lovonde / Ross Lavigne, Dove Stiller and Jared Halley]]

Appears to be a similar ensemble to Janet, Jack, Roxee and Dick, but less is known about them. Raws gets the most spotlight, as the main character of ''OMG IMMA IN LOFE WIDDEN ALEEYEN!''. She is [[InterspeciesRomance attracted to an "alien with candy corn horns and grey skin" girl]] named "Kanner Sorket"/"Music/KanyeWest", however, various bullies get in her way and [[spoiler:one teacher ''[[SadistTeacher shoots her]]''. Literally.]]

Also, it is known Jhonen is the maker of [[WesternAnimation/InvaderZim a series about Gloria Deschanel's mythos]], and abuses The Windy Thing to scare people into liking him, and that Jared Halley, a powerful human/dog hybrid, participated in the 50th Hunger Games and made it into the final 2, but was killed by Haymish.

Tropes:

* OCStandIn - In ''Catching Fire'', as the 50th Hunger Games are rewatched, a District 1 female (one of two, actually) makes it to the final 2 and is killed by Haymitch, but is never named.

!![[UsefulNotes/{{Belarus}} The Belorussians]]

->'''Meanie Pixies:''' [...] and by the time I got to see Cranky Vasquez, Doormat Medigo, Roughie Nitrogen, Mitt Romney Cape-Torn, Merlin [=LeJoin=], Parrot Martini, Lately Pirate, Aranna Sorket, Hussite The Hock, Curlbent Smacker and Chronos Ampersand I was so rich dream bubbles got bankrupt. [[note]]cf. Karkat in Homestuck canon: I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T KEEP ALL THESE GHOST NAMES STRAIGHT. FLIPTUNA? MEOWLIN... WASN'T THERE A CARLOS? FUCK IT. THEY WERE ALL NAMED CARLOS AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. WAIT. EXCEPT MEENAH. [...] [[/note]]

The Belorussians are "candy corn somethings", twelve of whom played a version of Sburb Alpha, died and started returning as parts of the Marrissa-verse Earth society. Of those twelve, the two most prominent ones are Meanie Pixies and Aranna Sorket, who remain fairly active in the dream bubbles even in their second lives. The adventures of the twelve on Belarus are the main focus of the story ''Post-[=SCrash=] Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens''.

Tropes:

* HostileShowTakeover - As the tension between Aranna and Meanie grows, Aranna briefly steals the narration from Meanie.
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness - Whenever Aranna shouts, things WILL turn out to be in her favor, [[spoiler:such as Wegotist Sorket dying, or Janet suddenly transforming into Meanie]]. [[ParodiedTrope And you thought Marrissa only makes characters OOC for fun.]]
* StealthPun: Since the name of the planet [[spoiler:Beforus]] is misspelled as "Belarus", naturally, the name of its leader Luminescence Pixies has to be misspelled as "Alexander Lukashenko".
** "Mitt Romney" is also a reference to a political figure.
* ThemeNaming: All their ancestors are named after concepts of ''Portal: The 4th Millennium'' franchise: Cinematical Medigo (Cinematronics Celebrations), Winstonian Nitrogen (TWP forumite [=WinstonSmith=]), Pesterchum Cape-Torn (TWP forumite pestchamber), Cakeman Vasquez (based on [=GLaDOS's=] obsession with cake), Communita [=LeJoin=] (''Portal 2: The Fake Community-Made''), Overseeing Martini (0ver5e3r / Contine Overseer), Spectatress Pirate (<>, not to be confused with ''Spectators of the Host''), Wegotist Sorket (the Warweary Serket), The Lower Jerk Hock (TWP forumite jrlauer), Rainblood Smacker (Chell Johnson's Bloody Rainbows franchise, later re-dubbed Ascension of the Portaller-verse), Bestsellerer Ampersand (Lena Bestselerovna) and Luminescence Pixies (Lumina Squires).
** Also, perhaps by coincidence, the story name ''Post-[=SCrash=] Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens'' looks slightly like ''Portal 2: The Stupidest Sequel of All Time''.

!!Skepness Man [[spoiler:Beauregarde [[note]]and/or Lettuce, depending on the universe.[[/note]]]]

->Hello Imma Skepness Man connoiseur of multiple fandoms and the author of Portal: The Fourth-World, Įstrigę of the Learned and The Haunted Herbert wanna give an interview?

->Oh for the love of Gloria Deschanel, if history of the world involves me, I'm going to write it in the first person, ''period''!

The kid of Skepkitty and Principal Business Man and the author of ''Enchiridion Marrissa'' and ''Additional Discoveries on Marrissaverse History''. Once self-inserts into his "history", as the tribute of the last falmer Hunger Games, [[spoiler:who abused time travel and put an end to the games.]] He plays a great role in ''Post-[=SCrash=] Session 3: Spectators of the Host'', "interviewing" the characters.

Tropes:

* AttentionDeficitOohShiny - At one point, says this:
-->Hello Imma Skepness Man connoiseur of multiple fandoms and- Oh look, a piece of chewing gum!
* GratuitousFrench - He does not know why he keeps lapsing into this foreign language.
* TimelineAlteringMacGuffin - Skepness Man is aware of the danger ''Enchiridion Marrissa'' could cause at the hands of anyone in the Marrissaverse, so he explicitly asks to distribute/adapt it outside the universe as a tourist's guide.
** What he does not realize, however, is that he ''himself'' is a TimelineAlteringMacGuffin, due to his immense knowledge.
*** ...Or so he wants you to believe. That is, except when he doesn't.

!![[Characters/HomestuckCherubs The Cherub Trollz]]

->[The Cherub Trollz] have only the ability to hate, hate and again hate, except for one named Calilope or Cantaloupe, but she tries to disguise herself as an alien with candy corn horns and grey skin so why am I talking about her in the cherub troll section.

->'''Leprechaun:''' Dear Knight of Time, it would be very kind of you to just not shout. We are trying to sleep. Thanks, your leprechaun friend.
->'''California:''' ''MY NAME IS NOT KNIGHT OF TIME. AND I DO NOT HAVE A LEPRECHAUN FRIEND. NOW PLEASE FUCK OFF AND DO NOT DISTURB ME IN SEARCH OF MY SISTER.''
->'''Leprechaun:''' You're not searching for your sister. You're just shouting at a chess set.

Briefly mentioned in ''Post-[=SCrash=] Session'', and elaborated upon in ''Enchiridion Marrissa''. They appear to be an evolved version of the Falmer Trollz, and the first Cherub Trollz, namely "Dork Jewel" and "Monotony Homophobe", were employed by Piestacker Curiosity Snow, [[spoiler:who really is a robot built by [=GLaDOS=]]], the founder of Critics United.

Cantaloupe and California in particular were the last cherub trolls, and made it out alive when the Earth was relocated due to the Red Miles.

Tropes:

* CrazyPeoplePlayChess - Well, Cantaloupe and California are certainly not the brightest minds in their world.
* NoIndoorVoice - California's lines are always written in ''ALLCAPS and italics'', given that he "always shouts". [[SaidBookism It's a bit jarring to hear every instance of "California said" replaced with "California shouted".]]
** Then again, it's a bit jarring that his name is literally the same as that of the U.S. state.

!!Violet Beauregarde / harmlessExcellence / [[spoiler:Marrissa Roberts]]

->'''Janet Roberts:''' Some guy out there outside of our world is running a contest
->'''[=ASBusinessMagnet=] (as "Seriously Written Note"):''' No, I'm not.
->'''Janet Roberts:''' and the person who figures out your identity gets to write a story chapter for this story!
->'''Violet Beauregarde:''' Don't joke around. If there was such a contest I would have won it long before "this story" even began.

A girl who [[spoiler:becomes Skepness Man's adoptive mother]], after it turns out Skep Katty is a trans guy. Similar to Sweary Guy, the author did not want to reveal her identity right away. She and other ''Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'' cast appear to be based on [[Film/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory the 2005 movie]] (though, [[Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory 1971]]!Violet appears later on, as [[spoiler:the actual Violet, who has been held prisoner by Marrissa, posing as 2005!Violet, while that character got a redesign to be unrecognizable]]).

Tropes:

* BreakingTheFourthWall - She isn't content with the fact that Skepness Man thinks she's easily distracted.
* [[spoiler:CanonCharacterAllAlong - Worst of all, it's foreshadowed by MTW supposedly feeling like the new, ''Homestuck'' and ''Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'' characters are boring the audience, who only want to see ''ITS MY LIFE!'' cast.]]
* OneSteveLimit - She has a very terrible time accepting that there is in fact another girl in her universe named Violet Beauregarde, and as such [[spoiler:keeps her imprisoned in her chewing gum factory]]. Though, with "Beauregarde" being a fairly rare surname (especially when spelled with an "e" at the end) and the infamy of Violet in... ''various'' fandoms, this also is in JustForFun/OneMarioLimit territory.
-->No no no. You got something wrong. If I remember correctly, ''I'' am Violet Beauregarde.
* [[TheWonka The Wanker]] - Being the CEO of Beauregarde Chewing Gum Industry, she takes a few leaves from Willy Wanker's pages.
-->There's a chocolate river and a waterfall… just for the sake of there being a chocolate river and a waterfall.
** As well as a vending machine that goes straight from her company to her house.
*** Why would she need a vending machine anyway if she just chews the same piece of gum for all of eternity?

%%!!Charlie Bucket and Willy Wanker

%%->Willy Wanker[[Music/{{Homestuck}} 's here and he's got the games]]
%%->The amazing chocolatier, beaten to shame
%%->Willy Wanker's school can break the rules
%%->When he's got just a few cheer codes for you
%%
%%In the first scene they appear in, they are running "the chocolate factory" together. When Charlie notices that Violet's behavior hasn't changed at all, he and Willy take off to %%her living place in "Tbilisi, Georgia".
%%
%%Tropes: